Day Three Down... Lots More To Go...
So I was diagnosed with Celiac... on Thursday. Interesting. I had a feeling but put it off... I had the common mentality that if I wasn't diagnosed then gluten couldn't hurt me. But I always feel like crap. My grandmother had Celiac and was not diagnosed until it was much too late. I've seen what this can do-- and it's scary. I guess that can be good (not in a mean way) but at least since I watched someone go through it who didn't have a choice-- someone who ate bread to calm her stomach when it was really the bread making it worse-- I have a choice. I can make it better. I know I wont cheat and eat gluten. I will want to. It will be hard. But I wont. I've made it three days... what's one more? And one more after that? One day at a time. Plus-- the side effects are definitely not worth the enjoyment of consumption. I guess thats what freaks me out the most. It's not that it bothers me today. It's not that it will bother me tomorrow... but for the rest of my life I will have to focus on this and be so careful...
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How do you overcome these thoughts? I'm not really upset about it... I didn't cry... but I don't really know how I feel either. It feels as though I'm in a daze and zoned out. I feel... weird. What do I do to make myself understand what truly lies ahead of me? And how do I make others understand? How do I memorize what to look for on labels and know where I can eat out? I can't let this control my life... I want to travel, I want to succeed, I want to live... but I guess in a way, it will have more control than I do. I haven't been this emo in a long time... it doesn't sound like me... wow...
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