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Well - Now I'm Just Scared, Confused, Angry And Emotional

sillyker0nian

Entry posted by sillyker0nian

9,746 views

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Last night - was the first time I have cried for that long in years.

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I finally got to visit my now official endocrinologist yesterday morning and it has completely left me shaking to my core. I don't want to bore everyone with tiny details so I'm just going to talk about the most important facts - if I don't vent and cope, it's going to eat me. She told me, that my first doctor who ordered my hormone tests should have, is that I basically have no more estrogen in my system. It was un-measurable. This and something else, which I can't remember now thank to all of this news, make her think I might have P.O.F (Open Original Shared Link). And, to go along with this, that I also could have Open Original Shared Link. She also said that my CT scan for my pituitary gland was normal, but that an MRI would have been better.

 

...........just. wow. I thought I was healthy. I thought everything was basically fine. My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting married and having children someday so happily within the last few weeks. What am I going to tell him...? Is he still going to want to be with me? He wants to be a father....

 

I now have a packet of blood tests (including thyroid ones), a multiple-time cortisol test plus a dexa scan and another ultrasound lined up. I'm also going&prescribed to begin HRT after I get these tests done.

 

Plus, Celiac is of course still not off the table quite yet because of: my non-diagnosed IBS, I probably have the DH skin rash and now my possible Turner's.

 

*sigh* My depression has kicked into high gear. So much so that I may actually look into depression medicinal help or counseling.

 

I'm trying to stay positive, though! I just have to accept all of this because it's not going to ever go away. It will take time, though.

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6 Comments

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kareng

kareng 2,329

Posted

That's rough. But you don't know for certain you can not "have" kids. So try not to dwell on that too much, yet. Even if you can't physically have kids, there are lots of ways to 'have" kids. That is something you can deal with when and if that comes up.

If you are very depressed, seeing a doctor for some help is a great idea! Maybe even some medicine for a while, until you can get some issues worked out.

sillyker0nian

sillyker0nian 0

Posted

That's rough. But you don't know for certain you can not "have" kids. So try not to dwell on that too much, yet. Even if you can't physically have kids, there are lots of ways to 'have" kids. That is something you can deal with when and if that comes up.

If you are very depressed, seeing a doctor for some help is a great idea! Maybe even some medicine for a while, until you can get some issues worked out.

Yeah, but if these tests come out positive there is almost a 100% chance I'll never conceive naturally - it'll be a double whammy on my system *sigh* Thank you though, I am really trying to not dwell on it and it's working :)

There is always adoption - but, I just don't know. That's a whole other ball game I'm not sure of yet....

I don't really have "issues", per se, it's just this news really has me bothered to the core. I guess it's just a women thing to have children. lol. I will go if it gets too bad, though.

1desperateladysaved

1desperateladysaved 105

Posted

I hope you will be carried through this hard time.

Dee

sillyker0nian

sillyker0nian 0

Posted

I hope you will be carried through this hard time.

Dee

Thank you! :)

nvsmom

nvsmom 334

Posted

(((Hugs))) When it rains it pores. :( Hang in there. It sounds like you are working hard to get this all sorted out. I hope you are healthy again soon.

sillyker0nian

sillyker0nian 0

Posted

(((Hugs))) When it rains it pores. :( Hang in there. It sounds like you are working hard to get this all sorted out. I hope you are healthy again soon.

*hugs* Yeah, it's unfortunate...but, thank you for your concern! :)

And, yeah, me too - I'll get there, though! It'll just be a little while. Haha.

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