Nyxie's Blog

Just re-read a couple of posts I'd made earlier on the board. Geeze! Yeah, that's me who wrote them, but still. I sound like an utter looney! I've always been a bit "off" (its part of my charm), but recently I've a little more off than usual. No.... scratch that. A LOT more off.

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I used to be an upbeat, logical, reasonable person capable of handling things in a patient and straightforward manner. People would even come to me for advice, not because it was necessarily good, but because I could show them a different perspective on situations and had insight into how people work. I've always prided myself on my memory, intelligence and personality.

Well, forget that! I've become Super Psycho! The only thing I'm lacking is a spandex outfit and a cape. Then again, considering my thighs, butt, and belly, its probably a good thing I don't have the outfit.

"Capable of leaping to a diagnosis by a single symptom!" ... or something. I'm obsessing about everything these days. No, seriously. I've said it before on other entries, but its true. I feel like I'm becoming a hypochondriac. Whining and venting on message boards and blogs is my only outlet. And that's sad.

Really. really. sad.

Both my long and short-term memories are down the tube. I can't think of words, not that this is anything new and it runs in the family (you should meet my mother some time - the apple didn't drop far in this respect), but its worse than usual... well, as opposed to a year ago anyway. Right now, I couldn't follow a train of thought if I were tied to the caboose! I get lost driving to the grocery store. I have to allow an extra hour when running a lot of errands because of all the wrong turns, missed exits, etc. My capacity for following simple directions in order to do something or put an object together is shot. Probably because I can't remember for very long. Frustration is reaching an all-time high. And don't even get me started on the moodiness. If I could still eat chocolate, I'd have gained 15 pounds rather than losing it. And btw, I'm down to 161 now.

Honestly, I don't know if this is from the thyroid stuff, hormones, food intolerances, mercury, vitamin deficiences, stress, the time of year, or all of it wadded together into some sort of person-shaped neurosis. Or maybe I'm just going nuts.