Celiac Disease Causes Social and Dating Anxiety, Lowers Quality of Life

I find celiac disease greatly inhances my dating efforts because it quickly eliminates jerks who do not treat my dietary needs seriously! I know immediately whether I am with someone who will treat me with the respect I deserve but my poor gluten-eating friends have to go on several dates before finding this out!

For sure this has caused me to avoid social functions over the years and has impacted how I socialise much less. I was diagnosed 14 years ago when I was newly married, and the change in the way how and where I ate rocked the marriage initially - my husband didn't like that it felt like I was picky and difficult. It drove him insane because until then attention wasn't drawn constantly on us - he doesn't like this kind of attention. It got so bad when we were on holidays in Italy that I honestly thought we were going to divorce. Somehow we got over it, though, I think meeting a few other coeliacs helped, so my husband understood I wasn't a pain in the neck and that others were similarly (if not more) difficult. My family was very similar, initially they treated me like I was just picky and difficult, over time people adjusted. Funnily, as my social circle adjusted, I started to feel more and more conscious. Avoiding work lunches and work functions became a norm. We live in a country which doesn't understand celiac disease and has very little knowledge about it. This hasn't really changed in the past 14 years much. I have to attend my daughter's graduation party next week - there is a buffet lunch. I have to pay a lot of money yet I have been told by the organising parent committee that I am not allowed to contact the restaurant about my dietary needs. I am not comfortable discussing my 'illness' on a day like this in front of all school parents. So these are the limitations for me, they go past dating. 

8 minutes ago, Guest Coeliac said:

We live in a country which doesn't understand celiac disease and has very little knowledge about it. 

I'm surprised to hear this because I think I read the other day that Italy routinely screens elementary age school children for celiac disease now.

I've been isolated and basically housebound for 7 yrs.  No parter, no friends and not much family connection,  even though all eight of us live in a small country town.   I do have other autoimmune diseases, chronic painful ones.  But it's difficult in a country town to eat out, being Coeliac.   And being an extreme sweet tooth, it's almost painful not being able to choose a dessert. 

A parent told me they didn’t like my food so wouldn’t be spending holidays with us anymore even though I made their food for them. So yes it’s greatly impacted my social life. When I try to make friends they want to go out to eat and look at me weird when I say that restaurant is too risky for me. So they stop talking to me. It weeds out the wrong people for me but I haven’t found one right person yet except my husband but he was around pre diagnosis. 

8 minutes ago, Guest Crissa said:

A parent told me they didn’t like my food so wouldn’t be spending holidays with us anymore even though I made their food for them. So yes it’s greatly impacted my social life. When I try to make friends they want to go out to eat and look at me weird when I say that restaurant is too risky for me. So they stop talking to me. It weeds out the wrong people for me but I haven’t found one right person yet except my husband but he was around pre diagnosis. 

How sad! Your own mom or dad said that? They should be ashamed and they should grow up. There are plenty of people around the world with not enough to eat and your parent complained because it wasn't the food they wanted or were used to? Shame on them!

I think the people closest to you should understand, but they don't.  I finally just bring my own food to family functions.  Safer that way.  They understand.  At home I have my own condiments with my name on them and don't touch all over them.  People don't think anything is wrong with you, except that you have some weird thing they don't understand . I think younger people understand more, but people of my age group(60's) don't have a clue.  Diabetics have it much easier because everyone has heard of diabetes.  They also don't have to worry about whether they have contaminated food by gluten. Not many people know what celiac is, or how it affects your body.  Many are clueless as to what an autoimmune disease  does to the body.  It'd be a nightmare to date and have to explain to your date every time.  I hope all the people that have this hang in there and find a person that cares enough about them to understand

.. 

I think living in a metropolitan area would make being a celiac somewhat easier since there would be more of us and it affords things like celiac support groups and large chain eateries that may have gluten free menu sections. Potlucks make it a little easier since everyone is bringing their own food anyway.

My family doesn't understand they look at Celiac as a stomach ache. At one family gathering a family member took a loaf of bread deliberately shaking it over the main course, turkey. I didn't eat it because i knew crumbs fell on it. I bring my own food and my husband has made the necessary adjustments but it wasn't easy.  I can't imagine dating with Celiac. I would think you would have to find someone with the same disease. Now i just recently read that meat glue is an issue with people with Celiac. Good luck

On 6/14/2021 at 11:16 AM, Anne Chopping said:

I find celiac disease greatly inhances my dating efforts because it quickly eliminates jerks who do not treat my dietary needs seriously! I know immediately whether I am with someone who will treat me with the respect I deserve but my poor gluten-eating friends have to go on several dates before finding this out!

Best response!! I am reading this to my celiac daughters, thank you.

That is a great response! It's a variation on the old adage, "Is my glass half empty or is it half full?"

I think there are online dating services that filter for celiac disease as well.

Working with friends and family to get them onboard can take time, courage and grace. It helps to remember that all of us have probably scoffed at things we didn't understand at one time or another but with time came to see in a different light.
 

12 hours ago, Guest JulieEMM said:

I've been isolated and basically housebound for 7 yrs.  No partner, no friends and not much family connection,  even though all eight of us live in a small country town.   I do have other autoimmune diseases, chronic painful ones.  But it's difficult in a country town to eat out, being Coeliac.   And being an extreme sweet tooth, it's almost painful not being able to choose a dessert. 

Eleven years ago the diagnostic term celiac brought about a confused facial look on peoples faces.  I had to switch to "wheat allergy".  Now a days however, people not in recognition of the disorder and personally know of a friend or family member with the condition.  My brother in law heard my complaints and accused me of wanting to hurt farmers.  The public continues to learn of the disease as more & more people suffer from the gluten containing foods.  By the way the last issue of this site contained a recipe for strawberry/rhubarb crisp.  It was awesome and easy to make. I'm substituting apples slices for the next trial run.