Jump to content
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

First Kiss


abby03

Recommended Posts

abby03 Contributor

So I met this guy and we've established that we both like each other. He's really sweet and we're supposed to go out for the first time tomorrow. I'm not suggesting anything with happen tomorrow but it has occurred to me that we may kiss sometime in the near future. It will be my first kiss ever and so obviously my first kiss as a celiac as well. The guy eats gluten but knows what Celiac is and even said he thought he had it at one time. He even seems to understand that even a single breadcrumb could hurt me. I'm not currently comfortable with eating at restaurants and I kind of hinted at that when we were making plans. He seemed to understand and said that if we ever did want to eat at a restaurant we would plan ahead and make sure it was safe. That made me really, really happy. This guy is super sweet but I'm SO worried about having to tell him that "oh, by the way, since my body is an idiot you kind of need to brush your teeth before we kiss so..........." I just feel like that's going to scare him off. And yeah, I know that if he doesn't understand then he isn't worth it but I really like him and want to try my hardest to make it work and not freak him out. I want to tell him in the best way possible and at the right time. I don't want to just spring it on him right as he leans in for a kiss, ya know? But I also don't want to seem like I'm just assuming and mention it too early. Does anyone have any experience with this? How did you handle it and did it go well? I know it really depends on the guy but  just have no idea when or how to mention it? Help??

 


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



bartfull Rising Star

If you don't eat during this first date, you should be safe. I'm sure one of the last things he will do before he comes to pick you up is brush his teeth. Then at some time in the future you can mention kissing somewhere in the middle of telling him about cross-contamination.

 

Have fun! He sounds like a nice guy. :)

gatita Enthusiast

Awww, this is sweet. I like the "just mention it while talking about CC" approach, too, good idea. You can list a few things that you always have to be super careful about (I dunno, tasting from someone's plate, your food touching non-gluten-free food on a serving platter, even kissing...;) ) and see if he picks up on it?

 

Have fun, it'll all work out if he's as cool as he sounds.

JNBunnie1 Community Regular

I feel your stress on this, darlin! I am newly single after a six-year relationship ( :ph34r: ) and

find myself worrying about things like this, although I do not have the first-time jitters adding

to it. It's totally understandable that you would be nervous over the whole thing.

 

First- deep breath. So far, I have been able to work the 'Can't even share a drinking glass'

speech into conversation with every 'prospect' that has come along. However, if I find myself

faced with a situation where I haven't yet been able to make the gluten situation clear, and 

someone 'moves in' on me (lol) I would just put my hand up against his face, NOT back

away, and explain gently what the deal is. And maybe suggest he lands on my neck instead

of my mouth... (I don't suggest that for you as a first-timer! :D  Baby steps!) It also can't hurt

to carry a new toothbrush and travel-size toothpaste in your purse... Just sayin'. ;)

notme45 Newbie

I'm married now, but when I was single I made too big a deal out of things that I thought would bother potential girlfriends.  Once I was in a relationship I realized that the things that I worried about didn't bother other people as much as it bothered me.

 

Now that we are a couple, my wife has shared some of the insecurities that she had while dating. Her insecurities and the faults that she found with herself were things that REALLY worried her.   She now laughs about these things

 

Try not to worry about what potential mates will think about the gluten thing.  It isn't nearly as big a deal to other people as it is to you. 

 

One of the things that you could tell your potential date is that you shouldn't share a straw if he has eaten gluten and hasn't brushed his teeth.  Perhaps this will be a gentle way of saying to be careful about kissing you on the mouth.

 

I have one more thought and I hope I'm not being out of line, but there are other PG rated places to kiss someone other than the lips.  He can kiss your cheek, neck, and ears.  You might be surprised how nice it is to be kissed in some of these other PG places.  

notme Experienced

^ stole my name!  lolz

 

my first kiss we both had braces - i was convinced that somehow we would get them tangled and stuck together....  

 

good luck, kiddo :)  

Pegleg84 Collaborator

I used to date a smoker, and insisted that he brush his teeth after smoking, because it's just gross. Therefore it only makes sense that someone would be courteous enough to brush their teeth and get rid of stuff that could potentially harm their significant other.

 

This said, I can't say I've ever gotten glutened from a kiss. My man is conscious of the potential for glutening, but I also have to be careful. If eating at home, I cook and it's gluten-free, though he may have a beer, in which case it's kisses on the cheek. No making out until teeths have been brushed. (Honestly, I have to enforce this with myself more than with him. And he's vegetarian so also refuses to kiss me if I've been eating meat. We're a wonderful couple, really...)

 

All this to say, if he likes you, and also wants it to work out, then it shouldn't be a problem. Just wait for the right moment.

 

Good luck and I hope you have a great time!


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



Just another Celiac Newbie

Everyone else has had great suggestions and information.

My thought was if you have a mutual friend or even if your best friend might see him then, maybe ask them to share that if he intends to kiss you he needs to brush his teeth when your not around.

 

I am a newbie as in just in the last 2 weeks diagnosised and I didn't even think about the kissing thing!!! How possible is it to be glutened from kissing a mate? or for that matter sharing a drink? My husband will not be going gluten-free with me.......Is sex going to  be an issue?? I ask because what I little I understand of Celiacs disease can we be glutened by bodily fuid??

kareng Grand Master

Everyone else has had great suggestions and information.

My thought was if you have a mutual friend or even if your best friend might see him then, maybe ask them to share that if he intends to kiss you he needs to brush his teeth when your not around.

 

I am a newbie as in just in the last 2 weeks diagnosised and I didn't even think about the kissing thing!!! How possible is it to be glutened from kissing a mate? or for that matter sharing a drink? My husband will not be going gluten-free with me.......Is sex going to  be an issue?? I ask because what I little I understand of Celiacs disease can we be glutened by bodily fuid??

 

Just kissing is an issue.  Gluten doesn't run around in the body.  It gets digested in the intestines.  Just like other foods.

 

 

Ask the experts:

Open Original Shared Link

Pegleg84 Collaborator

Unless they like to eat pizza in bed... no. just mouth to gluteny-mouth contact.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Join eNewsletter
    Donate

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):





    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):




  • Recent Activity

    1. - Clear2me replied to Clear2me's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      7

      Gluten free nuts

    2. - Mmoc replied to Mmoc's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      2

      Blood tests low iGA 4 years later digestive issues

    3. - Aretaeus Cappadocia replied to Clear2me's topic in Gluten-Free Foods, Products, Shopping & Medications
      7

      Gluten free nuts


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      132,389
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    Joyness60
    Newest Member
    Joyness60
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.5k
    • Total Posts
      1m

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Clear2me
      Thanks for the info. I recently moved to CA from Wyoming and in that western region the Costco and Sam's /Walmart Brands have many nuts and more products that are labeled gluten free. I was told it's because those products are packaged and processed  in different  plants. Some plants can be labeled  gluten free because the plant does not also package gluten products and they know that for example the trucks, containers equipment are not used to handle wheat, barely or Rye. The Walmart butter in the western region says gluten free but not here. Most of The Kirkland and Members Mark brands in CA say they are from Vietnam. That's not the case in Wyoming and Colorado. I've spoken to customer service at the stores here in California. They were not helpful. I check labels every time I go to the store. The stores where I am are a Sh*tshow. The Magalopoly grocery chain Vons/Safeway/Albertsons, etc. are the same. Fishers and Planters brands no longer say gluten free. It could be regional. There are nuts with sugar coatings and fruit and nut mixes at the big chains that are labeled gluten free but I don't want the fruit or sugar.  It's so difficult I am considering moving again. I thought it would be easier to find safe food in a more populated area. It's actually worse.  I was undiagnosed for most of my life but not because I didn't try to figure it out. So I have had all the complications possible. I don't have any spare organs left.  No a little gluten will hurt you. The autoimmune process continues to destroy your organs though you may not feel it. If you are getting a little all the time and as much as we try we probably all are and so the damage is happening. Now the FDA has pretty much abandoned celiacs. There are no requirements for labeling for common allergens on medications. All the generic drugs made outside the US are not regulated for common allergens and the FDA is taking the last gluten free porcine Thyroid med, NP Thyroid, off the market in 2026. I was being glutened by a generic levothyroxin. The insurance wouldn't pay for the gluten free brand any longer because the FDA took them all off their approved formulary. So now I am paying $147 out of pocket for NP Thyroid but shortly I will have no safe choice. Other people with allergies should be aware that these foreign generic pharmaceutical producers are using ground shellfish shell as pill coatings and anti-desicants. The FDA knows this but  now just waits for consumers to complain or die. The take over of Wholefoods by Amazon destroyed a very reliable source of good high quality food for people with allergies and for people who wanted good reliably organic food. Bezos thought  he could make a fortune off people who were paying alot for organic and allergen free food by substituting cheap brands from Thailand. He didn't understand who the customers were who were willing to pay more for that food and why. I went from spending hundreds to nothing because Bezo removed every single trusted brand that I was buying. Now they are closing Whole foods stores across the country. In CA, Mill Valley store (closed July 2025) and the National Blvd. store in West Los Angeles (closed October 2025). The Cupertino store will close.  In recent years I have learned to be careful and trust no one. I have been deleberately glutened in a restaurant that was my favorite (a new employee). The Chef owner was not in the kitchen that night. I've had  a metal scouring pad cut up over my food.The chain offered gluten free dishes but it only takes one crazy who thinks you're a problem as a food fadist. Good thing I always look. Good thing they didn't do that to food going to a child with a busy mom.  I give big tips and apologize for having to ask in restaurants but mental illness seem to be rampant. I've learn the hard way.          I don't buy any processed food that doesn't say gluten free.  I am a life long Catholic. I worked for the Church while at college. I don't go to Church anymore because the men at the top decided Jesus is gluten. The special hosts are gluten less not gluten free. No I can't drink wine after people with gluten in their mouth and a variety of deadly germs. I have been abandoned and excluded by my Church/Family.  Having nearly died several times, safe food is paramount. If your immune system collapses as mine did, you get sepsis. It can kill you very quickly. I spent 5 days unconscious and had to have my appendix and gall bladder removed because they were necrotic. I was 25. They didn't figure out I had celiac till I was 53. No one will take the time to tell you what can happen when your immune system gets overwhelmed from its constant fighting the gluten and just stops. It is miserable that our food is processed so carelessly. Our food in many aspects is not safe. And the merging of all the grocery chains has made it far worse. Its a disaster. Krogers also recently purchased Vitacost where I was getting the products I could no longer get at Whole Foods. Kroger is eliminating those products from Vitacost just a Bezos did from WF. I am looking for reliable and certified sources for nuts. I have lived the worst consequences of the disease and being exposed unknowingly and maliciously. Once I was diagnosed I learned way more than anyone should have to about the food industry.  I don't do gray areas. And now I dont eat out except very rarely.  I have not eaten fast food for 30 years before the celiac diagnosis. Gluten aside..... It's not food and it's not safe.  No one has got our backs. Sharing safe food sources is one thing we can do to try to be safe.        
    • Mmoc
      Thank you kindly for your response. I have since gotten the other type of bloods done and am awaiting results. 
    • Aretaeus Cappadocia
      I wanted to respond to your post as much for other people who read this later on (I'm not trying to contradict your experience or decisions) > Kirkland Signature Super Extra-Large Peanuts, 2.5 lbs, are labeled "gluten free" in the Calif Costcos I've been in. If they are selling non-gluten-free in your store, I suggest talking to customer service to see if they can get you the gluten-free version (they are tasty) > This past week I bought "Sliced Raw Almonds, Baking Nuts, 5 lbs Item 1495072 Best if used by Jun-10-26 W-261-6-L1A 12:47" at Costco. The package has the standard warning that it was made on machinery that <may> have processed wheat. Based on that alone, I would not eat these. However, I contacted customer service and asked them "are Costco's Sliced Almonds gluten free?" Within a day I got this response:  "This is [xyz] with the Costco Member Service Resolutions Team. I am happy to let you know we got a reply back from our Kirkland Signature team. Here is their response:  This item does not have a risk of cross contamination with gluten, barley or rye." Based on this, I will eat them. Based on experience, I believe they will be fine. Sometimes, for other products, the answer has been "they really do have cross-contamination risk" (eg, Kirkland Signature Dry Roasted Macadamia Nuts, Salted, 1.5 lbs Item 1195303). When they give me that answer I return them for cash. You might reasonably ask, "Why would Costco use that label if they actually are safe?" I can't speak for Costco but I've worked in Corporate America and I've seen this kind of thing first hand and up close. (1) This kind of regulatory label represents risk/cost to the company. What if they are mistaken? In one direction, the cost is loss of maybe 1% of sales (if celiacs don't buy when they would have). In the other direction, the risk is reputational damage and open-ended litigation (bad reviews and celiacs suing them). Expect them to play it safe. (2) There is a team tasked with getting each product out to market quickly and cheaply, and there is also a committee tasked with reviewing the packaging before it is released. If the team chooses the simplest, safest, pre-approved label, this becomes a quick check box. On the other hand, if they choose something else, it has to be carefully scrutinized through a long process. It's more efficient for the team to say there <could> be risk. (3) There is probably some plug and play in production. Some lots of the very same product could be made in a safe facility while others are made in an unsafe facility. Uniform packaging (saying there is risk) for all packages regardless of gluten risk is easier, cheaper, and safer (for Costco). Everything I wrote here is about my Costco experience, but the principles will be true at other vendors, particularly if they have extensive quality control infrastructure. The first hurdle of gluten-free diet is to remove/replace all the labeled gluten ingredients. The second, more difficult hurdle is to remove/replace all the hidden gluten. Each of us have to assess gray zones and make judgement calls knowing there is a penalty for being wrong. One penalty would be getting glutened but the other penalty could be eating an unnecessarily boring or malnourishing diet.
    • trents
      Thanks for the thoughtful reply and links, Wheatwacked. Definitely some food for thought. However, I would point out that your linked articles refer to gliadin in human breast milk, not cow's milk. And although it might seem reasonable to conclude it would work the same way in cows, that is not necessarily the case. Studies seem to indicate otherwise. Studies also indicate the amount of gliadin in human breast milk is miniscule and unlikely to cause reactions:  https://www.glutenfreewatchdog.org/news/gluten-peptides-in-human-breast-milk-implications-for-cows-milk/ I would also point out that Dr. Peter Osborne's doctorate is in chiropractic medicine, though he also has studied and, I believe, holds some sort of certifications in nutritional science. To put it plainly, he is considered by many qualified medical and nutritional professionals to be on the fringe of quackery. But he has a dedicated and rabid following, nonetheless.
    • Scott Adams
      I'd be very cautious about accepting these claims without robust evidence. The hypothesis requires a chain of biologically unlikely events: Gluten/gliadin survives the cow's rumen and entire digestive system intact. It is then absorbed whole into the cow's bloodstream. It bypasses the cow's immune system and liver. It is then secreted, still intact and immunogenic, into the milk. The cow's digestive system is designed to break down proteins, not transfer them whole into milk. This is not a recognized pathway in veterinary science. The provided backup shifts from cow's milk to human breastmilk, which is a classic bait-and-switch. While the transfer of food proteins in human breastmilk is a valid area of study, it doesn't validate the initial claim about commercial dairy. The use of a Dr. Osborne video is a major red flag. His entire platform is based on the idea that all grains are toxic, a view that far exceeds the established science on Celiac Disease and non-celiac gluten sensitivity. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and a YouTube video from a known ideological source is not that evidence."  
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

NOTICE: This site places This site places cookies on your device (Cookie settings). on your device. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use, and Privacy Policy.