After Celiac Diagnoses - Were You Angry?

[tonalynn]

I was diagnosed with Celiac on October 1st, so I've been gluten-free for 44 days now. At my 6 week follow up with my Naturopath on Tuesday, I told her that:

 

A. I don't feel any different or better after 6 weeks off gluten.

B. I haven't lost any weight.

C. My depression seems to be getting worse, and mostly, I am majorly PISSED OFF.

 

People close to me have commented on my mood - I seem to be angrier than normal. I have suspected for several months that my anti-depressants aren't working well enough, and they need to be adjusted or changed (which started the journey that led me to find out I have Celiac).

 

I seem to be really pissed off at having Celiac. After eating gluten for my entire 43 years and loving/craving bread and carbs, I now can't have one of my favorite foods. I'm pissed that I have to scrutinize everything I eat and drink. I'm embarrassed at having to ask for the gluten-free menu at restaurants and asking the server about gluten-free options and food prep, because I've never been one to be so "high maintenance" when going out to eat. I'm pissed off at the wheat industry for modifying a natural grain so badly that now I can't have it. I'm pissed off at Big Business for being so greedy that they didn't care what happened to the people that ate this new wheat, as long as they got a fat wallet. I'm pissed off that I can't just order a pizza anymore. I'm pissed off that I have to spend double, sometimes triple the money for a gluten free version of something I used to eat.

 

And I'm pissed off because dammit, I'm HUNGRY!

 

The Naturopath mentioned I might want to cut out dairy as well, then said we could discuss that later when she saw my face. I think the combination of the death glare as well as being on the verge of a very loud teary outburst told her that cutting out dairy may be too much too soon. You take away my ice cream and someone is going to get hurt.

 

I don't like to cook. I like to EAT, but not cook. Cooking for one is a chore. I hate prep work, cutting up vegetables and it's just something I've never enjoyed. Plus, I have way too much by the time I'm done  chopping and dicing that after 2 days I don't want them anymore, so they go to waste. I'm asking for someone to infuse me with the love of cooking for Christmas, but I doubt that will happen.

 

Did anyone else feel this angry? Is this normal? I feel like I'm going to be stuck in this stage of Kubler-Ross for a long time. I feel like this is going to ruin my holidays with all the goodies I won't be able to eat. ANOTHER thing to piss me off!

 

If you felt this angry when you were diagnosed, how long did it last? How did you cope? How long am I going to glare at my friends for enjoing their beer that I can't have? Or that delicious looking calzone wrapped in gluten? I've been told "but you can have gluten-free beer and bread that's just as good." This leads me to believe that Celiac's taste buds die out after not having gluten, because they are NOT just as good, they're blah at best. I'm ready to beat the next person that tells me they're just as tasty because I'm convinced they're just pulling my leg to see how mad I'll get.

 

Any other anger-infused celiac's out there? Or recovering anger mongers? You'd think I'd lose a lot of weight just with the engery I'm using to be so MAD!

[WinterSong]

I'm the type of person who expresses myself more so in sadness compared to anger. That being said, I was very sad when I was diagnosed. I cried a lot the first week. It was a lot to go through because I was so sick right before my diagnosis and felt like I was in mourning over a big part of my life.

 

I didn't recognize that it was a blessing in disguise. I feel lucky that all of my symptoms can be cured by diet alone and I don't have to be on medication for the rest of my life. I am lucky I have an answer while so many people struggle to get a diagnosis.

 

Now with all that being said - I do get pissed off these days when I hear of people in the public eye or doctors who should know better saying false things about Celiac. I've seen some things on TV and literally stood up saying, "NO, NO, NO!" lol. I also got angry when I learned that there was CC in my ground pepper  . Seriously?!?!?!

 

I don't like holding onto anger, though, because it zaps me of my energy. So I do the best to let things go if I cannot change them (and I do try - I've written several letters to these TV personalities expressing my feelings).

 

But I think that anger is a natural emotion to feel when you first get diagnosed. I think that it's important to realize that you cannot change the fact that you have Celiac - so you can walk around angry and resentful your entire life, or play the cards that are in your hand. 

[bartfull]

Well, I am a grumpy person by nature and I was in denial for a long time. Yeah, I was mightily ticked off at first. But I was determined to be scrupulous about the diet because I wanted to feel better.  

 

The thing about the dairy is that our damaged villi are the part that makes the enzyme(?) required to digest dairy. Most people give it up JUST FOR A WHILE. After a few months (maybe 3 to 6) most folks can add it back without any problems.

 

Some here say it's best to just give up bread for a while too until your taste buds forget what regular bread tastes like, but I never did. I got Canyon Bakehouse 7-Grain, and I loved it right from the start. I only eat two slices a day though, because most gluten-free substitutes are just empty calories and quite fattening.

 

Ah, the cooking thing! I HATE to cook! I lived on junk food and restautrant meals. And I think learning to cook was the hardest part for me. It's not that I can't throw some chicken in the oven along with some sweet potatoes. It's not that I'm incapable of chopping up some broccoli. It's that I had to get in the habit of DOING it! Some days I would be rushing around to get ready for work and FORGET that I had to bring my lunch!

 

What I do now is cook in big batches. And yeah, most of it I cook in the oven - no stirring, no fuss. Just put it in (in disposable pans) and take it out when it's done. Then, into the freezer it goes. At first I would cook six large chicken breasts, then bone and shred them before freezing. But I found out it's better to just stick them in the freezer whole. They don't dry out that way. I peel the baked sweet potatoes and mush them up in a large zip lock bag. When I'm at work, I spoon some sweet potato into a bowl, shred some of the chicken into it, chop some broccoli into it, then throw the whole mess into the microwave. It actually tastes pretty good!

 

If you have time, you can do this on the weekend (it really doesn't take that long), and put the stuff into individual serving sized bags and stick them in the freezer. That way when you get to work, all you have to do is dump them in the bowl and mic them.

 

Yeah, holidays coming up make things seem worse, but I attend all of the same holiday gatherings I always used to. I just bring my own food. There really ARE lots of good things to eat. You can still have turkey (but cook your own rather than risk cross-contamination from some well-meaning cook.) You can make gravy using corn starch. Heck, my Mom ALWAYS used corn starch instead of flour because it doesn't get lumpy. If you like stuffing, get some Udi's bread, chunk it up and let it dry out, then make your stuffing as usual. And there are gluten-free pie crusts, gluten-free cakes (Try Udi's Double Chocolate Muffins!! They are actually more like big cupcakes and I defy ANYONE to peg tham as gluten-free - they taste like regular, only better. REALLY!) You can still eat most potato chips, corn chips, and most ice creams.

 

It's an adjustment, but I promise, if grumpy, inept-in-the-kitchen, little old me can do it, you can too.

[kitgordon]

It helps to take Lactaid tablets when you have dairy the first few months and buy Lactaid milk if you use milk. I wasn't giving up my dairy, either!

[tonalynn]

Well, I am a grumpy person by nature and I was in denial for a long time. Yeah, I was mightily ticked off at first. But I was determined to be scrupulous about the diet because I wanted to feel better.  

 

The thing about the dairy is that our damaged villi are the part that makes the enzyme(?) required to digest dairy. Most people give it up JUST FOR A WHILE. After a few months (maybe 3 to 6) most folks can add it back without any problems.

 

Some here say it's best to just give up bread for a while too until your taste buds forget what regular bread tastes like, but I never did. I got Canyon Bakehouse 7-Grain, and I loved it right from the start. I only eat two slices a day though, because most gluten-free substitutes are just empty calories and quite fattening.

 

Ah, the cooking thing! I HATE to cook! I lived on junk food and restautrant meals. And I think learning to cook was the hardest part for me. It's not that I can't throw some chicken in the oven along with some sweet potatoes. It's not that I'm incapable of chopping up some broccoli. It's that I had to get in the habit of DOING it! Some days I would be rushing around to get ready for work and FORGET that I had to bring my lunch!

 

What I do now is cook in big batches. And yeah, most of it I cook in the oven - no stirring, no fuss. Just put it in (in disposable pans) and take it out when it's done. Then, into the freezer it goes. At first I would cook six large chicken breasts, then bone and shred them before freezing. But I found out it's better to just stick them in the freezer whole. They don't dry out that way. I peel the baked sweet potatoes and mush them up in a large zip lock bag. When I'm at work, I spoon some sweet potato into a bowl, shred some of the chicken into it, chop some broccoli into it, then throw the whole mess into the microwave. It actually tastes pretty good!

 

If you have time, you can do this on the weekend (it really doesn't take that long), and put the stuff into individual serving sized bags and stick them in the freezer. That way when you get to work, all you have to do is dump them in the bowl and mic them.

 

Yeah, holidays coming up make things seem worse, but I attend all of the same holiday gatherings I always used to. I just bring my own food. There really ARE lots of good things to eat. You can still have turkey (but cook your own rather than risk cross-contamination from some well-meaning cook.) You can make gravy using corn starch. Heck, my Mom ALWAYS used corn starch instead of flour because it doesn't get lumpy. If you like stuffing, get some Udi's bread, chunk it up and let it dry out, then make your stuffing as usual. And there are gluten-free pie crusts, gluten-free cakes (Try Udi's Double Chocolate Muffins!! They are actually more like big cupcakes and I defy ANYONE to peg tham as gluten-free - they taste like regular, only better. REALLY!) You can still eat most potato chips, corn chips, and most ice creams.

 

It's an adjustment, but I promise, if grumpy, inept-in-the-kitchen, little old me can do it, you can too.

 

Grumpy by nature...I love it! That sounds like me. :-)

 

I've adhered strictly to the gluten free diet since being diagnosed. I realize that I have to do it. No one said I have to like it or be happy about it, but I DO have to do it, so I am. And to Winter Song, I agree with you that being angry takes a lot of energy. I'm half Sicilian, so it's in my nature to be mad. ;-) But I know what you're saying and hopefully the anger stage will pass. I don't think the Bargaining phase will last that long. After all, who do I bargain with? Wheat? But then is the Depression stage, and since I already struggle with that, I'm not looking forward to that part of the process. In a way, being really angry makes me feel like I'm DOING something about it. I'm not, really, but it feels like it.

 

Bartfull, I do the mass cooking thing. I make beef stew and chili in the crock pot, and freeze it in single serving portions. I also do that with spaghetti sauce, sloppy joes and taco meat. I'm trying to gather more recipes because I'm getting bored with the same old, same old. I used to go to a meal preparation place (like Supper Solutions only way better) and I LOVED it, but they closed. Business idea! Someone open a chain of gluten free meal preparation kitchens!!

 

As for the holiday foods, I don't normally do any cooking. I have family close by that always does that, and although they said they'd be happy to do what they can gluten free, I feel bad for having to ask. I don't care if they use the best gluten free bread for it, but Christmas morning's Egg Nog French Toast will not be the same without the Halvah bread. And last year Blue Moon came out with the most amazing Spiced Amber Ale beer....and I just saw it again in the stores this week. And I can't have it!

 

Kitgordon, I've been lactose intolerant for over 20 years, and I have Lactaid everywhere I go! I buy the lactaid milk, and even take the enzyme just in case in many instances. My allergy panel also showed I'm allergic to almonds, which I LOVE. So I'm hoping that I can add them back in at some point. So I've taken out gluten and almonds, but dairy too? I'm already starving, I'll die! (the dramatic Sicilian in me rears it's melodramatic head).

 

My big problem is fresh fruit/veggies. Other than apples, bananas and grapes, I don't tend to eat much fresh fruit. Not that I don't like it, I love just about every fruit. I ate an apricot when I was a kid and when I looked at it I saw 1/2 of a worm left, so the other 1/2 went in my mouth. I was so grossed out I can't eat fresh fruit like that without it being cut up. And cutting up fruit is as heinous to me as cutting up veggies, except I tend to make a bigger mess! Canned fruits are ok, canned veggies are gross. Frozen is about the only way I get veggies, but I still don't eat them enough. I'd be set if someone would just come to my door 3 times a day with a freshly prepared salad! :-)

 

So I'm doing what I can, but I'm still pissed. Since I have Mafia history in my blood, I'd like to contract a hit on Gluten for doing this to us!

 

Side note: Anyone on depression meds notice they didn't work as well after going gluten free or right before?

[SkyBlue4]

I was diagnosed with Celiac on October 1st, so I've been gluten-free for 44 days now. At my 6 week follow up with my Naturopath on Tuesday, I told her that:

 

A. I don't feel any different or better after 6 weeks off gluten.

B. I haven't lost any weight.

C. My depression seems to be getting worse, and mostly, I am majorly PISSED OFF.

 

People close to me have commented on my mood - I seem to be angrier than normal. I have suspected for several months that my anti-depressants aren't working well enough, and they need to be adjusted or changed (which started the journey that led me to find out I have Celiac).

 

I seem to be really pissed off at having Celiac. After eating gluten for my entire 43 years and loving/craving bread and carbs, I now can't have one of my favorite foods. I'm pissed that I have to scrutinize everything I eat and drink. I'm embarrassed at having to ask for the gluten-free menu at restaurants and asking the server about gluten-free options and food prep, because I've never been one to be so "high maintenance" when going out to eat. I'm pissed off at the wheat industry for modifying a natural grain so badly that now I can't have it. I'm pissed off at Big Business for being so greedy that they didn't care what happened to the people that ate this new wheat, as long as they got a fat wallet. I'm pissed off that I can't just order a pizza anymore. I'm pissed off that I have to spend double, sometimes triple the money for a gluten free version of something I used to eat.

 

And I'm pissed off because dammit, I'm HUNGRY!

 

The Naturopath mentioned I might want to cut out dairy as well, then said we could discuss that later when she saw my face. I think the combination of the death glare as well as being on the verge of a very loud teary outburst told her that cutting out dairy may be too much too soon. You take away my ice cream and someone is going to get hurt.

 

I don't like to cook. I like to EAT, but not cook. Cooking for one is a chore. I hate prep work, cutting up vegetables and it's just something I've never enjoyed. Plus, I have way too much by the time I'm done  chopping and dicing that after 2 days I don't want them anymore, so they go to waste. I'm asking for someone to infuse me with the love of cooking for Christmas, but I doubt that will happen.

 

Did anyone else feel this angry? Is this normal? I feel like I'm going to be stuck in this stage of Kubler-Ross for a long time. I feel like this is going to ruin my holidays with all the goodies I won't be able to eat. ANOTHER thing to piss me off!

 

If you felt this angry when you were diagnosed, how long did it last? How did you cope? How long am I going to glare at my friends for enjoing their beer that I can't have? Or that delicious looking calzone wrapped in gluten? I've been told "but you can have gluten-free beer and bread that's just as good." This leads me to believe that Celiac's taste buds die out after not having gluten, because they are NOT just as good, they're blah at best. I'm ready to beat the next person that tells me they're just as tasty because I'm convinced they're just pulling my leg to see how mad I'll get.

 

Any other anger-infused celiac's out there? Or recovering anger mongers? You'd think I'd lose a lot of weight just with the engery I'm using to be so MAD!

 

Hang in there, Tonalynn. Your feelings are understandable.  

 

 

 

 I also got angry when I learned that there was CC in my ground pepper  . Seriously?!?!?!

 

What?!?! Uh-geez. ~Going off to check my ground pepper container now. 

[Gemini]

I can understand your anger, even though I never had any with regards to having Celiac.  When you come as close to dying as I did from Celiac, I was grateful at finding answers. The only thing I was angry about was all the dopey doctors that failed me for years.  I would have gone gluten-free years ago to avoid the near death experience.

 

All I can say is...you obviously haven't found the good gluten-free carbs because our taste buds do not die out.  I kind of resent that attitude but I'm going to let it go because I know you are feeling bad and deserve some space to adjust.  Did it ever occur to you that your major depression is being caused by all that crap you were eating?  When you finally heal and are healthy again, many people drop all those medical band-aids they thought they needed.  You aren't absorbing your meds and that's why your depression is getting worse.

It takes quite a while to get better too so 6 weeks is just the beginning.  You have a right to be angry and be resentful but I think there are deeper problems for you to work out so maybe you need to talk to someone who can help make the transition easier?  When the fog clears and you are feeling better, trust me, you won't feel this way forever. But there is some work involved!  Hang in there. 

[bartfull]

Yeah, there are a lot of foods I miss. I used to start my day with two english muffins. I know I can get gluten-free ones, but I don't want the expense. And I used to love mexican food, but I also have a corn intolerance so I can't eat that anymore. As a matter of fact, there is corn in almost ALL processed foods, so I can't eat any of them. No more grabbing something on the way to work. The INCONVENIENCE is just as bad if not worse than not being able to eat some of the foods I loved.

 

But I look at eating as a necessary bodily function, like breathing and sleeping. It's something I have to do, I do it, then get on with my day. And the ice cream at the end of the day is my reward. Food, no matter WHAT the food, is not as important to me as LIVING. I concentrate on all of the good things besides food that life has to offer. Music and friends and the beautiful scenery all around me. And to be quite honest, if I could go back to eating the way I used to, I wouldn't. All that artificial crap masquerading as food is not only not good for ANYONE, but I honestly think part of the reason I feel better is not just being gluten-free, but being junk food free.

[moosemalibu]

I was angry, sad, in denial, relieved, angry, in denial, finally have a positive outlook on my diagnosis. But my coworkers saw me go through all the coping stages. It would have been comical had it not been me (maybe)

[MinnesotaCeliac]

I was diagnosed with Celiac on October 1st, so I've been gluten-free for 44 days now. At my 6 week follow up with my Naturopath on Tuesday, I told her that:

 

A. I don't feel any different or better after 6 weeks off gluten.

B. I haven't lost any weight.

C. My depression seems to be getting worse, and mostly, I am majorly PISSED OFF.

 

People close to me have commented on my mood - I seem to be angrier than normal. I have suspected for several months that my anti-depressants aren't working well enough, and they need to be adjusted or changed (which started the journey that led me to find out I have Celiac).

 

I seem to be really pissed off at having Celiac. After eating gluten for my entire 43 years and loving/craving bread and carbs, I now can't have one of my favorite foods. I'm pissed that I have to scrutinize everything I eat and drink. I'm embarrassed at having to ask for the gluten-free menu at restaurants and asking the server about gluten-free options and food prep, because I've never been one to be so "high maintenance" when going out to eat. I'm pissed off at the wheat industry for modifying a natural grain so badly that now I can't have it. I'm pissed off at Big Business for being so greedy that they didn't care what happened to the people that ate this new wheat, as long as they got a fat wallet. I'm pissed off that I can't just order a pizza anymore. I'm pissed off that I have to spend double, sometimes triple the money for a gluten free version of something I used to eat.

 

And I'm pissed off because dammit, I'm HUNGRY!

 

The Naturopath mentioned I might want to cut out dairy as well, then said we could discuss that later when she saw my face. I think the combination of the death glare as well as being on the verge of a very loud teary outburst told her that cutting out dairy may be too much too soon. You take away my ice cream and someone is going to get hurt.

 

I don't like to cook. I like to EAT, but not cook. Cooking for one is a chore. I hate prep work, cutting up vegetables and it's just something I've never enjoyed. Plus, I have way too much by the time I'm done  chopping and dicing that after 2 days I don't want them anymore, so they go to waste. I'm asking for someone to infuse me with the love of cooking for Christmas, but I doubt that will happen.

 

Did anyone else feel this angry? Is this normal? I feel like I'm going to be stuck in this stage of Kubler-Ross for a long time. I feel like this is going to ruin my holidays with all the goodies I won't be able to eat. ANOTHER thing to piss me off!

 

If you felt this angry when you were diagnosed, how long did it last? How did you cope? How long am I going to glare at my friends for enjoing their beer that I can't have? Or that delicious looking calzone wrapped in gluten? I've been told "but you can have gluten-free beer and bread that's just as good." This leads me to believe that Celiac's taste buds die out after not having gluten, because they are NOT just as good, they're blah at best. I'm ready to beat the next person that tells me they're just as tasty because I'm convinced they're just pulling my leg to see how mad I'll get.

 

Any other anger-infused celiac's out there? Or recovering anger mongers? You'd think I'd lose a lot of weight just with the engery I'm using to be so MAD!

First let me acknowledge your frustrations and feelings….it is very understandable!!! But I can promise you it gets better.  Time (to heal) and knowledge (knowing the ins and outs of living with Celiac) are two parts to the puzzle, but the biggest is acceptance. By accepting that you have Celiac, one will not be putting energy and effort into the whys!, It’s not fair! …etc.   That energy is better utilized in finding things one enjoys.

 

Celiac does not define you, but rather is only a small part what makes you….well…you.  One of my favorite quotes went something like “Celiac does not define who I am, but only what I eat”. (I wish I remember who said it, because they deserve to be recognized as being awesome).

 

I was always the guy with the glass half full attitude.  However, I actual was excited to finally have some answers.  I bought in it ASAP and believe that this has been the biggest difference in how I handled it. Attitude makes a huge difference. You can’t change it, so why put the effort into trying. I have my ups and downs like most people, but now it mostly ups!

 

This is awesome group to work through every aspect of being a person with Celiac Sprue.  I strongly encourage you to utilize their knowledge and support.  Good Luck!

Cheers!

[notme]

lolz, tonalyn, you must be from jersey  

 

i was in denial when i first got my dx (who has celiac?  NOTME! lolz)  - after one last trip to my home state of nj to get my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOOD IN THE WORLD:   PIZZA!!!!!!!   and when i got home, i knew it was the truth.  i was so very sick, angry and crying that there was nowhere else to go but UP and FORWARD with the diet.  like gemini, i was literally at death's door.  my relatives all thought i had cancer and wasn't telling them because i was so emaciated and malnourished i looked like skin and bones.  i have been hearing whispers for years about how i must be anorexic or bulemic or both, because i never could put any weight on.

 

hang in there, we have all been through it  - it gets better, trust me.  i still use lactaid instead of milk because i like it.  i am finally healed to the point where my intestines are absorbing things i guess, because if i drink wine, i am zero to smashed in 2 glasses haha 

[ItchyAbby]

I was the Perfect Storm of emotion: Sad, Scared and Pissed, with the occasional ray of Hopeful thrown in there. I hated food for about two months - I only ate for sustenance, not for enjoyment and often wished that I did not have to eat at all. This is saying a lot because I am the very definition of a foodie - I love food, my whole family LOVES food, we placn our days even vacations around food. But, food and I needed to break up for a bit so we could figure out how to love each other better. And then there came a day when I realized I wasn't pissed anymore, and the way I needed to cook and eat just became "normal". And I got faster and better at it. And I started to love food again, in a whole new, totally obsessed kind of way. To be fair, I liked cooking before, so you may have a slightly steeper climb than I did.

 

It's ok that you are pissed. You need to mourn the loss of life as you knew it to make way for your new life. It will get better, it just takes time (isn't that infuriating?!). And re: cooking: like bartfull said: it's a habit. It takes time to develop new habits, so keep at it and keep it simple. Find ways to make it enjoyable: put some music on, have a glass of wine, if that's your thing, get really beautiful produce from the farmer's market, have a tasty snack while you're cooking so you don't get HANGRY (that's my issue). Try and find ways to take some ownership of your adventures in the kitchen. And absolutely cook in batches and keep things in the freezer for grab-n-go meals for those nights when you just don't got it.

[tonalynn]

Thanks all, for your comments and support. Gemini, my apologies if I offended you. I didn't mean to, I'm just still so surprised how yucky some of the gluten free stuff is that has been highly recommended to me. There really are some yummy gluten free items out there, and some have completely shocked me at how good they are! I'm thinking of Glutino's gluten free pretzel sticks. I think they're better than ordinary pretzels.

 

And yes, I do think that most if not all of my other issues may definitely be a result of being an undiagnosed celiac my entire life (I got two copies of the gene from my parents, so I guess I was born this way). I have noticed that my meds for Hashimoto's and depression just aren't doing what they're supposed to. I have all my fingers and toes crossed that once my body does fully heal, I'll be able to ditch those meds for good, but for now I need to add or change something, because I'm not coping well and it's starting to affect my job, relationships, etc.

 

Bartfull - you hit the nail on the head. The inconvenience is really a big part of why I'm angry! Since I hate to cook, I love easy to throw together or already made meals. One of my favorites was the precooked, frozen Italian meatballs you can get at Costco. I'd throw 5 of them in the microwave, then nuke a package of Green Giant veggies (One of their Healthy line, I think it was Healthy Heart) and mix them up and voila! Healthy, filling dinner. Now the meatballs are out. The veggies aren't the same without them.

 

Part of my anger is how I've always looked at food. Bartful, you mentioned that eating is a necessary bodily function. While I agree, I grew up in an Italian family. In that culture, food is more than that. Food is LIFE! Every major event involves food. Food is used to convey love, comfort, happiness, success, joy. Comfort food for sadness. And a LOT of that food includes gluten. To give up a lot of that food is devastating, it takes something that once was celebrated and loved and turns it into a chore, a hassle and a scavenger hunt. It's upsetting at best to take a lifelong view of what food means and throw it out the window practically overnight. I'm sure many of you on these boards have had a similara experience.

 

While I did not (thankfully) have a near death experience, and I'm not trying to diminish the experience of those who've had that, I still feel like I'm struggling through a great loss. Like a death in my close family. I know I'm supposed to feel better in the future, but I've never felt any different than I do now. I don't even know what feeling better will look like. The last 5 years have brought me more struggles, depression, pain, heartache and self-growth (which we all know can be one of the most painful things to go through) than I can ever remember going through. And then, here's a celiac diagnoses to top it all off! I'm just overwhelmed, tired, angry and frustrated.

 

Thank you again for all your comments and support. It helps knowing others have been where I am (and worse) and got through it. I just hoped I'd see at least a little improvement by now but I guess that was impatient of me.

[tonalynn]

lolz, tonalyn, you must be from jersey

 

i was in denial when i first got my dx (who has celiac?  NOTME! lolz)  - after one last trip to my home state of nj to get my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOOD IN THE WORLD:   PIZZA!!!!!!!   and when i got home, i knew it was the truth.  i was so very sick, angry and crying that there was nowhere else to go but UP and FORWARD with the diet.  like gemini, i was literally at death's door.  my relatives all thought i had cancer and wasn't telling them because i was so emaciated and malnourished i looked like skin and bones.  i have been hearing whispers for years about how i must be anorexic or bulemic or both, because i never could put any weight on.

 

hang in there, we have all been through it  - it gets better, trust me.  i still use lactaid instead of milk because i like it.  i am finally healed to the point where my intestines are absorbing things i guess, because if i drink wine, i am zero to smashed in 2 glasses haha 

 

LOL!! I'm not from Jerzey, but I went to high school in Connecticut, close to New York. I still have close friends from there and sometimes their culture rubs off on me. ;-)

[IrishHeart]

I was delighted to know what was killing me for years. Yes, I am one of the few who was thrilled to learn that one food protein was the reason I was dying and that by taking it out, I would live.

 

You will have to make some adjustments in your view. Learn to cook. Enjoy food again.  You can do this!!!

 

I eat very well. My husband eats very well. (yes, he is G F with me) and all my friends who dine at my home eat food that is fabulous. (if I say so myself lol) 

We had lobster risotto this evening.  I eat Italian food all the time. It does not mean you cannot enjoy good food. I promise you will!

 

This takes a mind set that goes something like this::" Food is healing"  (but it does not include gluten)

and "this is what it is" and "I will adjust and accept" .

 

Grieve! Be mad. But eventually, get over it and discover that good food is delicious. It's  just food, hon.

 

There's good gluten-free food and there's horrible gluten-free food. Packaged crap is not the key to happy eating.

 

No offense to your naturopath, but you will need follow up care and testing if you have Celiac.

Can she order them? because some cannot order them  and you should be taken care of now.

Best wishes..

[w8in4dave]

I wasn't ticked off, I was so happy to find out "I wasn't going crazy!" But now with corn issues! Ughhh I am getting somewhat annoyed! I have never been a big bread person or milk person. Noodles? I can leave them!! I am used to cooking. Altho we were getting stuff from Schwans I told hubbs NO more! I have a chicken I am going to make and take for my Thanksgiving. I have accidentally Glutened my self before! Don't want to do that again!! I am a pretty quiet person. I had a hard time asking for the gluten-free menue. But I have got to!! Seems most restaurants are very knowledgeable about Celiac. My problem will be when we go to the local Pizza place with friends to play pool and have a couple beers. I will not be able to eat anything at that restaurant! I will eat before I go and get over it!! Just won't have a beer. No biggy!! I will still see my friends and have a good time! 

 

I love the cook and freeze idea!! That way when hubbs has a frozen pizza I will have my frozen yummy dinner. Thanks for the tip!! 

[love2travel]

Anger is natural. I was absolutely stunned and floored with my diagnosis from screening bloodwork. I even told my doctor there must be a mistake. In fact, that night I made a list of 70+ things to have one last time and went on a gluten bingd for two months, until every last thing was crossed off. I did not get sick at all so I went into denial. My doctor pushed for biopsies which I did to prove him wrong. Well, turns out he was right! I was so sad and angry that I could not even look at all my monthly food magazines or salivate over my hundreds of culinary books for quite awhile. I cried after baking my first loaf of bread as I was unable to knead it. It hid me very, very hard. You see, I teach cooking classes, do catering and am a professional recipe tester. Food is my passion. Obsession.

Thankfully, I began to see things clearly and put things into perspective and after a few months got my passion for food back. I took one day at a time. Actually, one meal at a time.

Remember, this too shall pass.

[luvs2eat]

I was pissed off for a LONG time. Baking artisan breads was my passion. I actually cried in the grocery store once because there was wheat flour in something I wanted. There are still foods I miss and things I don't bake anymore because the difference in taste/texture is still as fresh in my mind as if I could eat them yesterday.

[mommy2krj]

I can understand your anger. I'm not the diagnosed Celiac in my house though, my 6 year old is. I think, barring being close to dying like some have stated and therefore happy to find out what's got you so sick, anger is a normal reaction.

 

I've been angry, sad, and all the emotions in between since my little guy was diagnosed in July. I've stood in aisles in grocery stores and cried frustrated tears and tears of anger that he can't just eat whatever any more. I think I've finally come to accept it (though, I think my husband is still struggling with it) as I noticed that it's been quite a while since there has been any complaint of his stomach hurting. That, that makes me happy. He's eating like food is going out of style and suddenly growing like a weed. I dare say if this keeps up he may be just as big as his older brother (who is 16 next week, with a shoe size that matches his age and is nearly 6ft tall and still growing!) though I don't think he'll have the same bulk as his brother. An added bonus, I made the whole house go gluten free and now I'm seeing changes, positive changes! In my older son's behavior and concentration in school. His grades are improving. His attitude is improving and his anger only shows up on occasion (usually after he's eaten gluten!)

 

All that said....little man is dealing with some anger issues over having Celiac. He's running through those same stages and it just breaks my heart. His anger usually ends in tears and hard questions that mom doesn't always have the answer for. But most of the time he's perfectly happy with things the way they are.

 

It will get easier with time. Stop eating any kind of bread entirely for a month or two then try some of the gluten free bread. I thought it was gross at first (my boys didn't seem to mind it) but after not eating bread for a while it doesn't seem as bad. It's not regular wheat bread but it's alright. Wish I had some advice on cooking for one person but I've never really only cooked for 1 person (it's going to be some kind of crazy adjustment once the kids are all gone!) and I'm still struggling to get enough veggies in myself and my family. We definitely aren't veggie people here!

 

Hugs! Just don't let the anger get the best of you. You will start feeling better and then it will hit you one day that you do feel better! And the anger and the sadness will just be gone. Until then, I wish you strength.

[Gemini]

Thanks all, for your comments and support. Gemini, my apologies if I offended you. I didn't mean to, I'm just still so surprised how yucky some of the gluten free stuff is that has been highly recommended to me. There really are some yummy gluten free items out there, and some have completely shocked me at how good they are! I'm thinking of Glutino's gluten free pretzel sticks. I think they're better than ordinary pretzels.

 

And yes, I do think that most if not all of my other issues may definitely be a result of being an undiagnosed celiac my entire life (I got two copies of the gene from my parents, so I guess I was born this way). I have noticed that my meds for Hashimoto's and depression just aren't doing what they're supposed to. I have all my fingers and toes crossed that once my body does fully heal, I'll be able to ditch those meds for good, but for now I need to add or change something, because I'm not coping well and it's starting to affect my job, relationships, etc.

 

 

No, you did not offend me but I was taken aback by the depth of your anger.  Looks like you have had time to chill and this second post is much better!  

 

So you have Hashi's thyroid disease.....so do I.  It is highly doubtful that you will be able to ditch your meds for that, if it is full blown Hashi's. Not so bad as the med is just replacement hormone that you don't make enough of.  But the depression meds will most likely be able to go, over time, so look forward to that.  I would also agree about the Glutino pretzels....they are incredible.  I have no self control when that bag comes out.

 

Here are some links to sites that will provide you some of my favorite foods that you may miss.  They are really good and I am really picky about food so I wouldn't BS you.  

 

Open Original Shared Link  The Le Veneziane pasta is some of the best out there so I hope you like it.  It is corn based pasta, from Italy, and everyone I have fed it to loves it, Celiac or not.  

 

Open Original Shared Link  The San Juan 7 Grain is my favorite but their other stuff is good too.

 

Open Original Shared Link  I have not ordered from this place yet but it's going to happen soon......maybe for the holidays.  The web pages look good enough to eat.  I thought I would throw that in because you're an Italian girl and pasta is important!  

 

Rates of Celiac Disease are high in Italy so if you ever go there, you will be able to eat good food as they are extremely accommodating there.  I have not been but my niece has and she was amazed at what they offered.

 

The King Arthur gluten free line of baking mixes are easy to do and really tasty.  I like their mixes better than most of those out there. 

 

Once you wrap your head around this diagnosis, things will be better, I promise.  There is so much out there now there is no need to feel deprived.

Keep checking in here and ask when you have questions. l  also have a double celiac gene and from what I have learned, it lends itself to more severe symptoms but there is no reason you cannot heal and live a normal life. I have done it and so can you. Don't let this affect your personal life too much because it isn't worth losing people over it. You can still dine out and enjoy good food once you learn how to do so safely. 

 

Pep talk over for now........and you do not have to give up dairy unless it's really bothering you.  

[nvsmom]

I was mad. I felt totally ripped off. I missed decades and decades of good health (to hashi's and celiac disease) because three different family doctors were too dense to pick up on my symptoms.    The only autoimmune disease they picked up on was when I hit critical... I really don't trust doctors farther than I can throw them now a days. LOL 

 

After almost a year and a half gluten-free I still get mad on occasion. I was an athlete once and had to drop multiple sports because of the arthritis the gluten caused. My family is smaller than I had originally hoped because I got so sick and sore during pregnancy, and so exhausted in the months afterwards, that it was too hard on all of us to try for more kids. I even get mad that my hair is about half as thick as it used to be and that I have small almost bald patches on my head.

 

And then I breath, realize the glass is also half full, and that the second half of my life can be healthier than the first.... It really is harder to be mad when you start feeling better.  

 

How is your thyroid now? If it's a bit off it will affect your mood severly - I'm sure you know that.    TSH is near a 1? free T4 and free T3 in the 50-75% range of your lab's normal reference range? If your thyroid labs aren't ideal, that will slow you down a bunch - it might be worth checking up on.

 

Best wishes and welcome to the board,

[frieze]

I was mad. I felt totally ripped off. I missed decades and decades of good health (to hashi's and celiac disease) because three different family doctors were too dense to pick up on my symptoms.    The only autoimmune disease they picked up on was when I hit critical... I really don't trust doctors farther than I can throw them now a days. LOL 

 

After almost a year and a half gluten-free I still get mad on occasion. I was an athlete once and had to drop multiple sports because of the arthritis the gluten caused. My family is smaller than I had originally hoped because I got so sick and sore during pregnancy, and so exhausted in the months afterwards, that it was too hard on all of us to try for more kids. I even get mad that my hair is about half as thick as it used to be and that I have small almost bald patches on my head.

 

And then I breath, realize the glass is also half full, and that the second half of my life can be healthier than the first.... It really is harder to be mad when you start feeling better.  

 

How is your thyroid now? If it's a bit off it will affect your mood severly - I'm sure you know that.    TSH is near a 1? free T4 and free T3 in the 50-75% range of your lab's normal reference range? If your thyroid labs aren't ideal, that will slow you down a bunch - it might be worth checking up on.

 

Best wishes and welcome to the board,

oops, replied to wrong post.

[frieze]

perhaps your anger is an improvement? were you flat of affect before?  and now, with the gluten gone, perhaps you will have the ultimate "fix" of your depression.....peace.

[surviormom]

I wasn't angry so much as happy to finally have answers that made sense.  However after a few months of very slow progress, I was weak and a little ticked on a son's birthday and thought, why can't I have a small piece of cake.  Well, now we know why.  Sick, sick, sick.  Nails, grow now, never in my life did they grow like they do now, unless I get gluten in my system and then they break.  My tummy feels so good, when my body is clean, but get some gluten in there (talking cc) and I am bloated and miserable for a week at least.  So, let the anger go.  You will feel better and understand that you need to do this and you will be a better you for it.  I think we all have our down moments, but it is to help you live a longer, happier, healthier life.  I have not had an allergy attack this year, talking sneezing, stuffy nose, sinus attack, and I live among oak trees.  I have had awful allergies my whole life.  It is for the best, when down, make a mental list of the things that are improving.

[surviormom]

I was mad. I felt totally ripped off. I missed decades and decades of good health (to hashi's and celiac disease) because three different family doctors were too dense to pick up on my symptoms.    The only autoimmune disease they picked up on was when I hit critical... I really don't trust doctors farther than I can throw them now a days. LOL 

 

After almost a year and a half gluten-free I still get mad on occasion. I was an athlete once and had to drop multiple sports because of the arthritis the gluten caused. My family is smaller than I had originally hoped because I got so sick and sore during pregnancy, and so exhausted in the months afterwards, that it was too hard on all of us to try for more kids. I even get mad that my hair is about half as thick as it used to be and that I have small almost bald patches on my head.

 

And then I breath, realize the glass is also half full, and that the second half of my life can be healthier than the first.... It really is harder to be mad when you start feeling better.  

 

How is your thyroid now? If it's a bit off it will affect your mood severly - I'm sure you know that.    TSH is near a 1? free T4 and free T3 in the 50-75% range of your lab's normal reference range? If your thyroid labs aren't ideal, that will slow you down a bunch - it might be worth checking up on.

 

Best wishes and welcome to the board,

I did get mad about the doctors not picking it up, but I am happy to finally know now.  I can keep my kids from going through what I am going through.  It is hard to be mad when you start feeling better, the more things improve, the less you can be mad.