gluten-free House

[veryami1]

I have Celiac Disease and decided to make my home a completely gluten-free zone. Most of my friends and family understand and comply.

However, I am having some friends over tonight and told them to "please use caution and don't bring gluten into my home. It's the only place I can feel safe". I've been told this is too restrictive, that it's unwelcoming, and why should my guests have to suffer. Some friends begrudgingly agreed, but still gave me attitude. I offered to provide all the food, how is that unwelcoming? The two girls giving me problems are supposed to be my closest friends.

Am I being unreasonable? At this point, I want to move the get-together to another venue or just be done with them altogether. I requested very nicely and tried to explain the effects of cross contamination so they would get it.

Is it true that you find out your real friends in times like these?

[w8in4dave]

I think it's a lil much to ask friends to conform to what you need to eat. It's hard enuf for us to go gluten-free. Now your asking your friends to bring gluten-free stuff to your party. They have no clue. Seasonings and such , stuff they won't think about. Using their wooden spoons and such that just brings in so much CC.  I think it is a lil much to ask. But it's just my opinion. 

If I were you I'd take it somewhere eles. 

[BlessedMommy]

But she wasn't asking her friends to bring gluten free stuff, she was asking them not to bring food at all, if I understand correctly. 

[veryami1]

I didn't say they had to bring anything. I said I would cook it all.

[BlessedMommy]

I don't think that's unreasonable. I can think of one other member here who doesn't allow gluten in her house either. It's all up to your personal comfort level.

[w8in4dave]

I didn't say they had to bring anything. I said I would cook it all.

Ohhhhhh!! I'm sorry I guess I read that wrong. Well that way I'd say no your not being un reasonable at all. I think they should respect your health issues. 

[kareng]

I do have some gluten eating in my house but-

 

When we have people over, we always provide all the food and drinks.  We say something like " Because of food sensitivities at our house, we ask that you don't bring any food".  This usually works.  The one time it didn't, my hub reminded the lady, put the box of Wheat Thins by her coat and we did put her cheese ball  on the table.  I didn't eat it but it had no gluten ingredients so I didn't worry about it.  People used my gluten-free crackers for it.

 

If people want to bring something, they bring drinks or flowers.  We do serve regular beer.  One friend sometimes picks up some cookies or chips that say "gluten-free" on them as a hostess gift. 

 

Now - I try to serve food that is naturally gluten free.  For example, I would not serve hamburgers because people want a bun.  While my kids and their friends like Udis hamburger buns, some people don't think they taste "right".  It also gets very expensive to buy so many buns at 4 buns for $5-6.  So I might serve BBQ chicken, Veggies, fruit, etc.  Maybe gluten-free cornbread.  Chili with corn chips.  Steak and baked potatoes.  "Heavy hor d'ourves" 

[cyclinglady]

Yes, real friends would support you! Let's face it, not all our friends are smart, but that isn't always a requirement in being a good friend. Sometimes it takes time for them to get it. So, you will have to be the judge on whether to keep them as friends or not!

My house is gluten-free, but I allow it during parties, but only in the backyard and it is placed on a separate table. My family goes first through the buffet line and then I sent home all the leftovers so I do not have to worry about cc at all. During winter, I prepare all the food and no one brings in gluten into my house even on Holidays. I just converted old recipes requiring wheat to be gluten-free. One family member remarked once that they had one of the best burgers ever at my house and it was wrapped in lettuce! She complained many times about the lack of bread prior to consuming the burger.

I hope this helps!

[Adalaide]

We're 99% gluten free in the house. I do allow my husband, who is understanding enough of what it takes to keep me safe, to have ready to eat foods that don't have to be brought into my kitchen. (I won't tell him no to the occasional bakery donut, and he keeps a box or two of cereal that isn't safe for me in the pantry.) Nothing with gluten ever comes into my kitchen, and I would certainly never let guests bring food into the house. The times I have hosted a dinner party I was very clear that I would provide everything, please don't bring anything because celiac blah blah. The friends we've had over the most are a family with three kids and they've never had a complaint. There is certainly not a lack of delicious foods in the house! It's your house and you need to feel safe. It's also your party and you are welcome to host it any way you like, which can (and imo should for those of us with gluten-free houses) include letting the people invited know not to bring anything, it's all taken care of. If someone can't listen and brings something anyway, you can always just do what Karen did with the crackers and put it somewhere they'll remember to get it on their way out.

[bartfull]

Tell these "friends" that it would be like getting miffed at a person with asthma who had a "No Somking" sign on their door. If they STILL don't understand, tell them to stay home.

[moosemalibu]

I think a real, true friend would understand. Try to educate them better about the disease if their attitude is receptive. If you've already gone that route and they still don't get it I would consider ditching them. You don't need the added stress of their callousness.

I have a gluten free household. However my boyfriend does buy Muffins and then puts them in zip lock bags and stores them in a box and takes them to work with him in the morning. He's cautious when packing them and cleans up responsibly. No food is cooked in our house that is glutinous. If someone wants to bring something that is cooked they bring it in their own dish and its cleaned when they take it home. I don't want my sponges to be contaminated, etc. It's possible to have a shared household. People do it successfully. BUT it's your home and YOUR rules.

[LauraTX]

Sometimes people are just going to be miffed at any request put on them.  Their temporary burden of having to show up and eat for free and not have to prepare anything.... that is nothing compared to what you face every day.  I only allow a select few people to have gluten at my house.  Basically my husband, my mother, and my sister.  All three understand the whole shebang, and also are able to eat in a clean manner.  Family Thanksgiving, etc, is at my house many years, and last year I did it completely gluten-free because I cannot fathom letting the more piggy-behaved people running around with crumbly gluten items in my house.  When I extended the invite, I simply just told everyone that due to my food allergies, please don't bring any food items with you, I will provide it all.  I ended up having a few people give me money towards the meal since they didn't want to bring food, and I found up nearly breaking even on the increased cost.  

 

Overall, as said above, it is your house and your rules, and they can't even be fairly put into the "Rule" category when it is what you have to do to protect yourself.  I think a small amount of resistance is natural, and to make it easier, telling people just to bring no food item and to let you take care of it is probably the easiest route.  But in the end, if someone is a true friend, they will come around.  Of course some people seem to stay in social groups/families and you can't get rid of them... for those people, if they don't like it, they don't have to come.

[Adalaide]

Their temporary burden of having to show up and eat for free and not have to prepare anything....

 

I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that however heavy that burden is, there are plenty of us here who would willingly shoulder it.

[LauraTX]

I'd like to take this opportunity to point out that however heavy that burden is, there are plenty of us here who would willingly shoulder it.

Yay!  Can you be the person who eats the rest of the cake when I really want just one slice of delicious cake, but don't want the calories of the whole cake, but pretty much end up eating the whole thing over the course of a few days anyways?  

[africanqueen99]

I have a gluten-free house (other than beer and shaving cream - which only matters because I have young kids). And our friends know only to bring approved items into our house. In the beginning it was a hassle as we sorted out appropriate brands. Now they will show up with unopened certified products. Only once did someone bring something without asking (toasted ravioli - and they smelled so good!) - I explained that the food needed to go to the car. Yes, it was uncomfortable, but my kids' food restrictions trump her kids' picky eating.

I have meetings here for Girl Scouts regularly and note on the emails to not bring food. Never an issue.

I'd probably be annoyed at these friends, but give them a second chance and then call them out.