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Is It Me Or It Is Hard To Find Someone Who Understands Your Condition In A Relationship?

dogle

By dogle
in Meet Up Room

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dogle Apprentice
dogle
Posted

By just telling someone I meet about my diet needs and avoidances they seem to freak out and walk out the door! Lol. Does anybody have the same experience?

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Waitingindreams Enthusiast
Waitingindreams
Posted

I happened to get pretty lucky in that area. I was diagnosed just over 2 weeks after I started dating my boyfriend. He didn't really know much about it at all, but he was very supportive. He found apps to download on his phone, and he started looking into gluten free restaurants for us to go to. He's very careful about cross contamination, but it can still be difficult at times. I think it will always be hard for 'non celiac' person in the relationship. He does try to eat healthier, but he has not gone gluten free, so that makes things a bit complicated. When I didn't feel fully better after going gluten free, and I started doing elimination diets to pinpoint other food intolerances, he got very nervous and didn't understand what I was doing. He was afraid that I wasn't eating enough and that I wasn't getting enough nutrients. He also went through a phase where he was paranoid I was going to die soon, which was very discouraging for me as I was trying to heal. He also has gotten into huge fights with his mother (not while I was there) because he didn't/doesn't trust her to cook for me. He follows celiac bloggers to try to get new information for me, and I can tell he's really trying to understand and be as supportive as he can be. 

 

It has been a learning process for us both. He doesn't always understand my condition, but he tries his best to and he makes an effort to make things a bit easier for me. He is cautious about cross contamination, but of course there have been slip ups, like him kissing me quickly after eating gluten without brushing his teeth first. He feels guilty about eating 'gluten' food in front of me, but I never hold him back from doing so. Sometimes I might stare longingly at his pizza while I pick at my cucumbers, but hey! I'm only human.

 

That being said, I think if a girl likes you enough she will definitely make an effort to understand what you are dealing with. I know if the roles were reversed I would do everything I could to make my boyfriend feel safe and normal. You should keep a list of gluten free places that are safe - that you can go to for a date. Yelp and findmeglutenfree are both great sites that can help you find restaurants in your area.

 

There is also a dating site for people who eat gluten free, believe it or not:

 

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WinterSong Community Regular
WinterSong
Posted

I've talked about my experience on this board before.

 

My boyfriend at the time of my diagnosis was terrible. He refused to believe that I was sick, didn't want Celiac Disease to exist, didn't care if I got glutened because of his behavior, and threw a fit if I ever tried to have a discussion about my needs. Even with issues not regarding Celiac, it was his way or the highway. I honestly feel sad for whatever poor girl dates him next. 

 

That being said, I've met quite a few different people since then including:

Date #1 - Emailed me various gluten free recipes to impress me 

Date #2 - Complained about his ex-girlfriend's peanut allergy and felt incredibly awkward afterwards when I told him that I have Celiac

Date #3 and 4 - Had no negative opinion about it, and the conversation moved onto a different topic

 

And my current boyfriend - The most incredibly supportive guy I could ask for. He looks out for cross contamination wherever we go; if he ate gluten for breakfast, he will not kiss me later that night until he brushes his teeth; he encouraged me to start my own blog and is beginning a Celiac education/awareness project himself. 

 

Dating can be really hard with food intolerances. The important thing to remember is that everyone has something going on with them, so we have to be tolerant and supportive of our partner's issues and needs. I think it's important to seek out a partner who is like-minded in that regard. That's why I think the gluten free dating website is a great idea. 

 

I must say that I'm quite fortunate to have met my current boyfriend. But maybe I got some good karma coming back to me after dealing with my ex for so long  :P

  • 11 months later...
codetalker Contributor
codetalker
Posted

Had a similar situation once while dancing with someone I had just met at the dance. We were chatting by way of introductions and the topic of food came up. I mentioned I had celiac disease which I described as an autoimmune disease. My dance partner apparently equated celiac disease with AIDS and she immediately stopped dancing with me and walked off the floor.

Eventually, gave up on dancing anyway. Seemed like women always fell into one of two categories. The first were women who had danced from childhood and were great dancers. They never enjoyed dancing with a beginner like me. The second were women who were just looking for husbands. Never met anyone who just wanted to dance to just have fun.

  • 1 year later...
Romans8:28 Newbie
Romans8:28
Posted

I recently found out I have Celiac's and I am married....to a medic. He says "whatever I need" but acts as if it's not real or it's all up to me to keep myself "clean"...nothing has changed. If I need "new food", it is up to me alone to do. I am not allowed to change his eating habits or the eating habits of our 4 children. 

My mother thinks it's something I'm doing for attention........little does she realize she is probably suffering from the same disease!

So be glad when someone you date walks out or acts disinterested because you can go on to someone else who will care....everything happens for a reason

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