Glutened At Christmas Party

[sillyken]

Hi Gang,

I know someone else is going to go through this sometime during the Holiday season so I'm going to ask how people handle this problem. I went to a celebration yesterday with friends who know I have Celiacs. They told me what foods were safe to eat. Then, as I was eating the "Safe" item, she told the recipe. It hasd Soy Sauce in it. I don't know what to do anyomore. I almost don't want to eat at t social gathering because it turns out this way. Do you

A) drill them as to al the ingredients or

B send them a list of things you can't eat

Help I don't want to go through this again. I'm sure you don't either.

Ken Ritter

[aikiducky]

With friends, I tell them EXACTLY what I can have, and can't, and check that they have understood. Then before eating I ask them about the ingredients again!

With people that aren't close enough friends that I would feel comfortable doing this, or if i just don't want to bother, I bring something to eat myself.

Just went to a party on Friday as a matter of fact... I had wine, and I brought a little plastic container of fruit salad, and another of nuts and raisins. A friend of mine had made sushi, and we had a long conversation about the ingredients - but unfortunately she couldn't quite remember everything she put in it so I decided not to risk it. That was a pity in a way because if I had thought of asking her beforehand she wouldn't have minded making some separately for me. Oh well. It was a smashing party anyway.

Funny thing - I was late, and there had been some performances by various people, and I missed almost all of those. So after I was chatting with one guy, wineglass in one hand, fruit salad in the other, the guy gives me wink and says "I know, you just came for the food, didn't you?".

Bottom line - if you act like youre comfortable with eating your own food, and like it's no big deal, other people will too.

Pauliina

[Rachel--24]

Personally,

I think it would be sort of difficult to get someone to understand every ingredient I cant have...sooo I would just bring my own food. I think other people mean well and most wouldnt know that soy sauce contains wheat so unless they have time to sit and study the diet (which most dont esp. around xmas) I would think there would be much room for error.

[bluelotus]

I'm sorry that happened. I always bring my own food, I don't even bother trying to explain things anymore to people.

[tarnalberry]

There are few people I trust to cook safely for me - and that includes some friends. Not because I don't trust them to try, but because I know how easy it is to overlook things, even if you do remember to check all the ingredients, even on items that you think should be obvious. In situations like those, I always bring my own food, or eat before hand. It's a complicated set of rules to follow, that run contrary to our habits, so expecting someone who's never done this to prepare something safe for you is a big expectation. Not everyone should have such high expectations placed on them in that particular area - and doubly so at parties! :-)

[traveljunkie]

There is gluten free soy sauce. Did you ask what brand it was?

[jknnej]

I'm with the others. I never eat at someone else's house, period. I bring my own food or I don't eat. It's just not worth it.

[Rusla]

There is gluten free soy sauce. Did you ask what brand it was?

The soy sauce is made by San-J, blue and silver label and it is Tamari Lite.

[sillyken]

Thanks for the feedback. My problem is I've been doing things with this family ever since I came down with the illness and I've explained my situation. I'm trying to be understanding but they still give me the ol "oh but theres just a little wheat in there" line. I'm getting to the point that I don't want to eat anywhere. I've been glutened at least five times in the past few weeks and the physical and emotional pain is too great.

I do know about the Gluten free soy sauce.

Merry Christmas guys!

[traveljunkie]

Hi Ken,

I can relate to your frustration. I'm not looking forward to my family xmas dinner. Not only do I have to worry about gluten, but I've also become a vegetarian this summer. I would like to skip the whole thing. The consant questions really get on my nerves. It's just food, but they act like they would die if they never ate wheat or meat. They just don't shut up, some are understanding but others .

We'll get through the holidays. Merry Christmas.

Charlene

[darkangel]

I bring my own food or eat before I go. I'm very reluctant to impose on folks to make special dishes solely for my benefit. Neither am I the type to grill my host on what's in various dishes.

I've learned it's often a good idea to make extra of my food, because many times folks want to sample what I'm eating.

[Jnkmnky]

Personally,

I think it would be sort of difficult to get someone to understand every ingredient I cant have...sooo I would just bring my own food. I think other people mean well and most wouldnt know that soy sauce contains wheat so unless they have time to sit and study the diet (which most dont esp. around xmas) I would think there would be much room for error.

You have to change your thinking. It's not about them "getting it". It's about you taking on the responsibility 100%. No one is going to learn this stuff along with you. Only a spouse will do this for you.... and even some of them are unwilling to learn all that is necessary. Every social function you attend that is going to have food is now B.Y.O.F. *bring your own food*. Accept it.

[jenvan]

I am similar to Tiffany. There are only about 3 or 4 people I trust to cook for me. There are even some very close friends I do not trust in that manner, simply b/c they are not educated enough or really "detail-oriented." I had 3 holiday parties this weekend and brought my own food to each. 2 of them I brought a salad to share with everyone, and then brought some soup just for me. It should be noted, due to cross contamination, I was first in line for my salad (before the tonks started knocking boots with the fried chicken on people's plates), and I gave way left over salad and didn't take it home with me. ie. at one of the parties, corn bread crumbs ended up in the salad. My immediate family makes a meals I can eat, but besides them and a few others, I always plan for myself and never count on having food I can eat at a gathering unless I know so. I've just accepted that as my new way of life.

[Guest BERNESES]

Ken- I'm sorry that happened to you. I like to bring something I made but that I can share with others as well. Some people have REALLY gone out of their way for me (like my mother-in-law) and even keep the forbidden ingredients posted on their fridges BUT with cross-contamination issues and the like, I really don't trust anyone but her and my friend Kristin whose niece has Celiac's.

It's a drag but yesterday my cousin and I were both at our family party and we had both brought our own food (she has Celiac's too). It's fine- we just explain that it's a difficult diet to understand and we don't want to inconvenience anyone.

My husband's aunt said to me yesterday (at another family party) as she was dishing herself a big piece of lasagne, "So you can eat everything here, right?" i just looked at her and said "No, actually there's not much I can eat here." She asked me what I couldn't eat and I told her pasta, bread, crackers, meatballs (because of the bread crumbs) and she just looked at me like I was insane. I think some people honestly just don't know what food is made of (I'm not saying that in a mean way- ten years ago I might not have known what pasta was made of either).

I think the best plan is just to eat ahead of time or bring your own stuff. The hardest part is when someone goes out of their way to make you something and you can't eat it. I always feel bad about that but I explain to them that if gluten gets in my system it can take me up to three weeks to recover.

Hang in there- this is my first gluten free holiday season and it is frustrating. B

[VegasCeliacBuckeye]

Bring your own food to these functions...

No one will be as vigilent about it as you will be...

Don't let people peer pressure you into hurting yourself -- talk about self-destructive behavior!!

Hope this holiday season goes better for ya!!

[jerseyangel]

I bring my own food and if applicable, bring something that I can share, also. I make sure I eat something before I go out. I think Jnkmnky is right on the money on this one--its up to each of us to do what we need to do to eat safely. No matter how well meaning someone is, there are so many things to consider when cooking for a Celiac (as time goes on, and it becomes second nature to us, think back on the first few times we tried it and the mistakes we all made). Except for a select few, most people just aren't that well versed on gluten-free cooking and all that it entails (really, why should they be--I never was before my health depended on it). I try to accept that and move on. It would be great to go to a function and eat freely as before, but thats just not going to happen.