Omg...i Might Be On To Something

[mftnchn]

Okay here's the abstract I mentioned:

"The relationship between childhood abuse and subsequent chronic medical conditions was researched in 121 patients from a medical practice in the northwestern United States during a 2-year period from 1994 to 1996. The patients

[mftnchn]

I am good about winging it. And I like to make soups - just never used bones in there. What would you use for beef bones??? What kind of beef?

I've heard that you break up the bones a bit, so that the marrow is open...not sure if that would help with calcium.

[CarlaB]

I am good about winging it. And I like to make soups - just never used bones in there. What would you use for beef bones??? What kind of beef?

I don't know .... I'd talk to the butcher.

Sherry, that is interesting. Was there any difference between verbal/emotional and physical abuse in the study?

[NoGluGirl]

Dear Everyone,

I will do as I did last time when I got behind. I will type out PMs and e-mails to topics covered over the last couple of weeks. Anything from page 1820 onward will be posted in my usual column on the thread. I have not been home much because of the ongoing makeover. So far, I have spent twelve hours at the salon!

Sincerely,

Jin

P.S. I should be able to go to Lyme Chat on Thursday and Saturday.

[CarlaB]

When will we see a picture, Jin?

[confusedks]

Sherry,

That was a very interesting study. I am so amazed at how all of the emotional and physical stuff is interconnected. It makes so much sense. It's so interesting that things from our childhood's can have so much ipmact forever, not just in relationships, but with our health!

[ShadowSwallow]

Hi Everyone,

I just sent out the email. If anyone else wants a copy, just PM me.

To generally sum up: I was diagnosed clinically with Lyme, I have a positive Ehrlichiosis test (so we know I have at least that coinfection!) and h. pylori test. I also have strep at the moment. The LLMD put me on Zith and I have so many scripts for bloodwork and other tests I don't know if I can make that much!

Jin,

I can't wait to see those pictures!!!! :D

Birdy

[mftnchn]

Sherry, that is interesting. Was there any difference between verbal/emotional and physical abuse in the study?

I'd have to look back at the whole thing. What I recall is that the verbal/emotional didn't show up as much, I might not have had enough data on just that alone without accompanying other forms of abuse. I tried to look for all the major chronic illness issues that I noticed in the records, but sometimes the number was just too small to see any trend.

Sherry

[mftnchn]

Yay, Jin. I can't wait to see the results!

Woohoo Birdy! Not that you have lyme disease, LOL, but for getting some answers and starting treatment!!

[Nyxie63]

One of the interesting things I have read is about PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder)..... People can say, "I know it up here" pointing to their heads, and then say "but it doesn't compute here" pointing to their hearts.

That's so true. I was dx'd with PTSD a little over 8 years ago after a breakdown. The traumatic event wasn't childhood abuse or anything like that, but devastating nonetheless. I know how to deal with it in my head - the exercises, the visualization, etc. The problem is that the hole in my heart/spirit is still there and no amout of "proper thinking" will make it go away. I've seen plenty of therapists and even did a 2-week (voluntary) in-patient stint at the hospital. It sounds like a self-defeating attitude, I know. It isn't. Its the simple truth. The hole is a part of me and always will be. The best I can do is work around it.

Jin,

Yeah, we wanna see pics!

Birdy,

Congrats on the dx... I think. Well, yeah. Congrats! Progress is a goooood thing.

[Rachel--24]

Just popping in to say hi.

As always I'm thinking of all of you. I've been reading along but my brain hasnt been too focused on scientificness...I've been pretty "scattered" to say the least! Hence....my lack of long winded posts.

I sort of got side-tracked lately. I kind of unexpectantly fell for someone!

See what happens...I totally lost my focus!

Anyways...I'm trying to get it together.

Sorry to anyone that I failed to respond to in pms, emails, etc. There are lots of things I've wanted to reply to....hopefully I'll get back on track soon.

So thats my explanation for lack of scientificness.

[mftnchn]

Nyxie, thanks for sharing. I read a book called Shattered Assumptions that made so much sense to me about how these experiences undermine these simple assumptions we make that let us move through life without such anxiety that bad things will/might happen. I really liked what she talked about in terms of how we have to come to grips with it and create some new assumptions that fit better and are more realistic. That sounds very cognitive and in a sense it is, but I liked how it talked about living with these realities.

Carla, I looked back at my research and I think there wasn't enough information to differentiate. I was looking more in depth at sexual abuse because that seems to be (on average) more severe in the emotional impact and impact on normal development. So I only asked one question about verbal abuse. My assumption was that if that showed some connection, further exploration could be made about the rest. I did list the percentage of patients that reported verbal abuse which was, interestingly enough, lower than the reported sexual abuse. I also looked at the total number of patients who reported any type of abuse. It was 71% of my sample!

Part of the issue was that this was a master's thesis, so I didn't analyze every bit of data I collected. There was enough there for a much more in depth exploration. I was encouraged to go further with it and seek a PhD but life has gone on and I have never gone back to it.

I can email a copy of the study if someone wants it. What I have on my computer might not be the final draft but it is close. It's 92 pages with references...so that might be more than anyone wants. What might be interesting is the review of the literature of some of the diagnoses that in the research literature were linked with sexual abuse. It was quite surprising to me.

[mftnchn]

Rachel, I wondered if that might have happened...LOL! What a GREAT reason to be side-tracked and not posting....hope you are having fun with this. Nice to know you are more and more getting your life back!

[mftnchn]

Julie, I tried my first castor oil pack today, except years ago I tried a liver pack. Anyway, noticed a flare of toxic like feeling for awhile. I took extra chlorella, and was going to take some charcoal but it seems to be better.

I might have kept it on too long.

I know that my doctor recommended them to me at the outset of my lyme treatment so I thought I could safely try. I'll check in though about how often and stuff.

Sherry

[confused]

JIn,

Thanks for the email, im so glad you are having an makeover at the salon and will now also start the 6wbm, you will be amazed on how fast u lose weight and feel great. Im so jealous of the makeover, what all are you having done. In april my mom and I are going to the spa for an day, i cant wait to spend the whole day with just her and be pampered, i so need it.

I am working out again and love it, i feel so much better about myself. I cant wait for tax money to buy some cute clothes for spring and summer (even if hubby said they cant be too cute lol)

My leg twitching has gone away and i am so happy for that. Who knows what it was but if it comes back i will probably have it checked out or at least go across the street and ask my doctor (an beneift of ur md living across the street lol)/

paula

[CarlaB]

I sort of got side-tracked lately. I kind of unexpectantly fell for someone!

:wub: :wub: :wub: YAY!!! I'm so excited!!!!

hopefully I'll get back on track soon.

Let's hope not! You have something better to do than spend all day online! LOL

Sherry, that is interesting. I would think sexual abuse would be more traumatic, I can't imagine much worse. I'll let you draw your own conclusions of why I'm more interested in the verbal/emotional abuse part. I'd ask for the paper, but honestly, I don't think I could wrap my brain around 92 pages, LOL.

Nyxie, it's okay to have a hole ... donuts have holes and they are very sweet and everyone loves them! With something like we've been talking about here, there will always be a hole .... we're not trying to fix it, but fix the way we react to it. We were robbed of something special, no matter what caused the pain .... there is no getting that back, but it is important for our own health to come to terms with the trauma, in the sense that we've processed the emotions from it and haven't blocked them inside causing illness (I had trouble letting go of the emotions, like I said, I boxed them up so as not to deal with them) .... not in the sense that we ever get back what was lost or ever stop missing it.

I realize this is easy for me to say ..... we all have different pasts .... but it is interesting that NO ONE here said, "No, Carla, I don't have any emotional issues behind my illness."

I started taking artemisia again yesterday. I was having air hunger .... I am wearing a mouthpiece that makes it hard to breathe and Adam was saying he thought it was from that, but I was having it even after having the mouthpiece out for an hour.

I don't feel bad, at all. I guess there is just going to be more maintenance than I would like. I was at least hoping babesia would not be an issue any longer. I had a little sweat last night .... nothing like I used to ... and I don't really know what's normal, is it normal to sweat at night? I'm thinking it was a mini-herx from the artemisia. I have a phone consult in a couple weeks, so I'll ask about the new Cowden babs herb then.

Another thing that might be a factor is that I'm supposed to take Lariam every 5 days .... I took it after 7 days one week, then after 6 the next .... so maybe that allowed it to flare up a little. At any rate, I know it's still there and I'm not letting it get the better of me this time! I'm not going to be in denial when I become symptomatic and end up with a full blown relapse!

Overall, I'm feeling good. My knee hurts regularly, but I'd put it at a 1 on a 10 point scale. I'm just aware that it's not right. I'm sleeping well with a half an Ambien, 5 HTP, and Melatonin before I go to bed. Last night I only slept for six hours, but I feel rested .... the night before my alarm woke me up at 8, so I had a great night's sleep, I was hoping for that today because the kids have a snow day and I didn't set my alarm, but, NO, I had to go and wake up at 6!

[confused]

Im thinking i want the 92 page abstract, i love reading stuff like that, my undergraduate work was done in psych and sociology, who knows i might have read it before lol.

paula

[jerseyangel]

I sort of got side-tracked lately. I kind of unexpectantly fell for someone!

I just have to pop in for this!

How wonderful, Rachel--I'm so happy for you

[Nyxie63]

Rachel,

WooHoo!!! You go, girl!

Nyxie, thanks for sharing. I read a book called Shattered Assumptions that made so much sense to me about how these experiences undermine these simple assumptions we make that let us move through life without such anxiety that bad things will/might happen. I really liked what she talked about in terms of how we have to come to grips with it and create some new assumptions that fit better and are more realistic. That sounds very cognitive and in a sense it is, but I liked how it talked about living with these realities.

I'd be very interested in your study. Will PM you with my e-mail. Dunno what I'll be able to get out of it at this point. Maybe if I chew it in small bites.

My key interest is changes in interactions with other people after trauma. Its not an anxiety that the trauma will reoccur, but an expectation that something like it will happen again. Especially if one has a history of similar experiences. Does that make any sense? Its not a matter of feeling "deserving" of the trauma like I've heard about in many abuse cases. Rather more like feeling "fated" to repeat the experience again on some level - that such things happening is inevitable. I suppose my assumption has become "its painful, but not a surprise".

Btw, who's the author of that book? Sounds interesting. Might pick it up when I have a brain again.

:Nyxie, it's okay to have a hole ... donuts have holes and they are very sweet and everyone loves them! With something like we've been talking about here, there will always be a hole .... we're not trying to fix it, but fix the way we react to it. We were robbed of something special, no matter what caused the pain .... there is no getting that back, but it is important for our own health to come to terms with the trauma, in the sense that we've processed the emotions from it and haven't blocked them inside causing illness (I had trouble letting go of the emotions, like I said, I boxed them up so as not to deal with them) .... not in the sense that we ever get back what was lost or ever stop missing it.

Awwwww! Thanks.

Shoving down the emotions from the trauma is how I ended up having the breakdown. Stifled it all for 4 years. One morning, it woke up and bit me on the azz. Got up, got ready for work, went to leave the house..... and couldn't. I simply could not force myself to go out the front door.

Gotta tell you tho, I'd highly recommend a breakdown for everyone. Only half kidding. It's a great (albiet painful) way of having to take a look at yourself and deal with unresolved issues. It's also a great opportunity to reshuffle your priorities.

I guess what you're getting at here is the old, yet true, standard that dis-ease causes disease.

--------------

Oh! And I finally got that bloodwork done this morning that I've been putting off for 2 months. Ugh! Only 6 tubes this time. Yay? Wondering what my cortisol level is going to look like since I've only gotten about 4 hours sleep each night for the last week.

[dlp252]

To Jin (this won't make sense to anyone else, lol):

Yeah, I'm finding out the purer that my products are the better for me. So far so good with the EM stuff!

Yeah, I feel bad too if I eat too many carbs of any kind...it actually causes low blood sugar feelings in me, not to mention the awful bloat and gas it causes.

I had my appraisal for the refinancing on Sunday...now I just have to hope she appraises my place at more than what I want to borrow...I should think it would be, but one never knows...that's the last hurdle I have to pass I think. I haven't heard yet.

My doctor said I could do the B-12 shots once OR twice a week. The bottles both say 1x per week. I tried two times per week for a couple of weeks, but I just CAN'T give myself shots that often, lol. I just can't. Once a week is hard enough.

I'm awful at taking pictures...just awful. I have a decent camera, but no matter what kind of camera I have, my pictures just don't come out well, lol. I have a friend who can take a picture with one of those cheap disposable cameras, and it comes out like a professional picture, not me, lol.

The caffeine really seems to be the culprit with the breast pain. I haven't had a single episode of the searing pain since I cut it out. I've been having a little decaf, so it's probably not the coffee itself, but seems like it might be the caffeine. I'm getting ready to test that theory out by having a little caffeine every day for a week or two and see what happens. Haven't started that yet though. I don't take calcium...I should, but I don't.

[dlp252]

Woohoo Rachel!!! You DESERVE a little distraction!!! Enjoy it!!!

[CarlaB]

Breakdowns for everyone!

Lyme disease allowed me to reshuffle my priorities.

[dlp252]

I'm reposting something I posted on the makeup thread because it's just too exciting for me. Some of you know what a long road it's been for me, some of you don't. I've been sick for the better part of 10-12 years and the last 5 years have just basically floored me. The difference I've seen in the last few months has been astonishing, but it's stuff like this that really brings it home for me:

Well, I'm pretty excited here girls...I've mentioned before how excited I am about EM because for the first time in years I'm actually excited about putting makeup on and taking care of my appearance...well, apparently it's spilling over into the rest of my life, lol.

For the first time in about 12 years....I actually feel excited about fixing up my condo. I haven't felt that way in a long time...couldn't really because I felt so bad. I actually pulled out paint chips (old ones--will have to get new updated colors this weekend), and started planning what paint goes on what wall, and actually started thinking I could do the painting myself! I'll have to get low VOC paint of course, but if I only do one wall at a time (in a day if I have to), I think I can do it myself.

[Nyxie63]

Breakdowns for everyone!

I'll bring the chips!

For the first time in about 12 years....I actually feel excited about fixing up my condo. I haven't felt that way in a long time...couldn't really because I felt so bad. I actually pulled out paint chips (old ones--will have to get new updated colors this weekend), and started planning what paint goes on what wall, and actually started thinking I could do the painting myself! I'll have to get low VOC paint of course, but if I only do one wall at a time (in a day if I have to), I think I can do it myself.

Cool! We'll need before and after pics, you know.

[dlp252]

Yep, I think I can do before and after, lol. I have pictures of when I first moved into my condo...that was bad, lol. I did some improvements myself before I got sick, but those are nearly 12 years old now, lol. It's really time for some work.