It's So Hard Sitting In A Restaurant Not Being Able To Eat

[mouse]

Because this diet has become sort of a fad, I have added an explantion to my server or in a new place to the manager. I say I cannot eat gluten and I am not on a fad diet, but for me, it is a serious medical diet. They really listen when I say that. Sometimes, I will get a server who asks if I am Celiac. I already have dead brain cells and I don't wish anymore. But, I love eating out. It is such a treat for me that I won't forego it and like I said in an earlier posting on this thread, I have many food allergies and I also have to ask about ingreds. because of those allergies. And I always tip good for the extra care they give me.

[Green12]

  Judyin Philly said:

Juliem and Rachel--

you guys are so positive..i respect you both so much.

I haven't read everyones posts but when i got the this, julie, i had to do a cut and paste.

that you are 'difficult' when it comes to food and I don't want that judgement and energy projected on to me.

I think it's an individual thing on how one deals with this issue. I think everybody has to figure out what works best for them and what is most comfortable and most importantly not be judged for it.

I was really ok and positive for the first 7 months with some problems cropping up but in just dealing with the gluten-free was ok...just like you Julie, so greatful and happy to feeling better. Then more and more things were added that i 'hated to give up' but just did it. I think you said Julie you'd had this for 10 years. i just can't imagine still being so positive but hope i will be too.

What struck me was you saying it really hit while on a family vacation..that's what happened to me. Eating out EVERY meal for 2 weeks so rough. Don't want to do it again. Never knew where we'd be so couldn't use all the plans i usually do. We were with family members i don't know well and they rollie eyes, and sighs were really sad to 'feel'

you and rach are an inspiration.

judy in philly

ps Rachel, i have a new email address but think i wrote you about it in regular email. My 'alert' posts still aren't working.

Hi Judy,

It's actually been over 10 years for me battling auto-immune conditions and having to eat a 'special' diet but 10 is such a nice neat number, and it seems like I've been saying 10 for so long I haven't caught up with the additional years that have come and gone Even though it's been so long, I still haven't quite got it all figured out but it's a journey and a process just like everything else.

Maybe I have all this time as an advantage, I don't know. It's not always rosey, there are ups and downs, it's a rollercoaster, and it can be depressing, but this is the reality of it all and I feel like you have to make the most of what you have to work with and be happy- focus on the good and what can be done instead of dwelling on the negative and what can't be done. Own the illness and create your own life, even though it has some limitations and restrictions.

I maybe haven't won the battle over my health, yet, but IMO having an optimistic outlook has made all the difference in the world for me dealing with it day in and day out.

And it's good to have forums such as this to vent and share and give and receive support

[Green12]

  Felidae said:

I'll apologize up front, but I am feeling rather down. My brand new job that I am using my brand new degree for requires extended travel to hick towns all over the province. So from the analogy above, I shouldn't be in this kind of work. I hate gluten and I hate that I can't eat it.

I'm sorry you are feeling down Felidae. Your new job with all the traveling poses some challenges for sure. I haven't had to travel for work so I can't offer advice in that department. Maybe there are others that have ideas. I would say maybe find some foods you could take with you, some easy to pack non-perishable foods, but maybe that is not a possibility.

Sorry I can't be more helpful.

I wish you luck in working it out.

[Green12]

  shai76 said:

Juliem, It is hard not being able to eat the things everyone else is, so I hope I didn't sound like I am trivializing your challenges as well. It's just doubly hard not being able to even go into those things, and as a person with chemical sensitivities you understand this more than most!

It just gets easy for me at times to put the whole celiacs thing on the back burner to my serious, life-threatening allergies. I often forget that it is most likely the celiacs that are the cause of these allergies. Hopefully with time on gluten free, these allergies will get better and I will be able to do those things. But I also have EE (eosinphlic esophagitis, some people call it the mother of all food allergies) so I have to be very careful about my diet. It's challenging, but I have learned to work around it. My sisters and mom went for their "breakfast out" this morning. I just met them for shopping afterwards instead of going with them. And they are really good about cleaning themselves off after and stuff.

You have some great ideas though. Maybe I should try it out.

shai, no not at all. You just put it in a different perspective for me and I realized I shouldn't be sad at my experience I should be grateful. So thank you.

It sounds like you really have a lot of challenges with your health, bless your heart. If you are up to it, do try out creating your own ritual with your mom and sister. Even if it's only tea and fruit salad on a blanket at the park, or something like that, it would be a great bonding moment and make for treasured memories that you can be a part of.

  gfp said:

The problem is the food industry treats gluten like a choice.... not a serious toxin. Hence it is treated like vegetarian or vegan options (and this is the best case usually)

I think a lot of confusion comes from people who are gluten-free by choice or vegan or Atkins etc. etc. all being lumped together. The example someone used of the waiter rolling his eyes is this sort of thing, perhaps the guy had just served a table with an Atkins dieter and another vegetarain and ... well who knows...

You have a really great point. Celiac disease, as well as other serious food allergies, are not really accepted, respected, or believed.

[Felidae]

  gfp said:

The problem is the food industry treats gluten like a choice.... not a serious toxin. Hence it is treated like vegetarian or vegan options (and this is the best case usually)

This is a very good point. We don't have a choice, and society simply views it like a diet, not like a life threatening allergy. Which I know it is not, but society understands the dangers of peanuts or shellfish or bee stings.

  juliem said:

I'm sorry you are feeling down Felidae. Your new job with all the traveling poses some challenges for sure. I haven't had to travel for work so I can't offer advice in that department. Maybe there are others that have ideas. I would say maybe find some foods you could take with you, some easy to pack non-perishable foods, but maybe that is not a possibility.

Sorry I can't be more helpful.

I wish you luck in working it out.

Thanks for the support. I am feeling more positive today.

[Mango04]

  Terrilyn said:

I just ate at PF Changs, I hope that you knew that they have a gluten free menu. It has about 10 items on it, the food was quite. good

Yep, that's why I ate there. It was good

[gfp]

  armetta said:

Because this diet has become sort of a fad, I have added an explantion to my server or in a new place to the manager. I say I cannot eat gluten and I am not on a fad diet, but for me, it is a serious medical diet. They really listen when I say that. Sometimes, I will get a server who asks if I am Celiac. I already have dead brain cells and I don't wish anymore. But, I love eating out. It is such a treat for me that I won't forego it and like I said in an earlier posting on this thread, I have many food allergies and I also have to ask about ingreds. because of those allergies. And I always tip good for the extra care they give me.

I think this is the best way.... somehow WE have to break the idea, not the waiter or the chef but us.

Would life be easier with some sort of medical medallion or an offical Dr's letter. ... ? I dunno but this the problem, you will get some resto's that then refuse to serve you at all on the off-chance.

[shai76]

  gfp said:

I think this is the best way.... somehow WE have to break the idea, not the waiter or the chef but us.

Would life be easier with some sort of medical medallion or an offical Dr's letter. ... ? I dunno but this the problem, you will get some resto's that then refuse to serve you at all on the off-chance.

That happens with doctors for me. I have so many allergies and life threatening reactions that they often refuse to operate. I have wisdom teeth that need out but I can't find a doctor who will do it. They don't want to put me out, and they are afraid I will react badly to the medicines. So I have a pusing wisdom tooth and I have to live with it. At this point it's grown into the nerve and the risk of damage would probably be too high.

[gfp]

  shai76 said:

That happens with doctors for me. I have so many allergies and life threatening reactions that they often refuse to operate. I have wisdom teeth that need out but I can't find a doctor who will do it. They don't want to put me out, and they are afraid I will react badly to the medicines. So I have a pusing wisdom tooth and I have to live with it. At this point it's grown into the nerve and the risk of damage would probably be too high.

Ouch! You have my sympathy, when mine came through I got a huge abcess but couldn't afford to have it operated. I actually dreampt of teeth nightly it hurt so much... I had nightmares of it shattering and falling out and stuff...

[Clark Bent as Stupor-Man]

  juliem said:

I'm feeling a little sorry for myself I guess.

I don't eat out because I have soooo many food intolerances other than gluten, but recently I was out of town and went with my family everytime they went out to eat and I found myself feeling really left out watching them eat hamburgers and pizza and milkshakes and all of that good stuff. It was almost like I was invisible, or like I was on the outside looking in and it's in those times that I am reminded and made aware how I am different from everybody or abnormal. When I am at home and in my day to day life it's no problem for me to eat my special diet and do whatever it takes to be well, or somewhat better, and I'm ok with it and I've made peace with it and accepted it. I realized it's an isolated situation though and when I came back from my trip I was feeling a little depressed about the reality of it. It bothers me to have to be inflexible and for not having the luxury of being spontaneous, because I am always preparing my meals and planning them I can't just run out here and grab something to eat on the fly.

Does this happen to anyone else???

I agree with most of this, but in my case, I hope it's just a temporary thing, and I'll be able to add back a number of foods once I figure everything out... I've been on an elimination diet for 4-5 months now and thought it would just be a couple weeks or so when I started it... I've only eaten out at a restaurant once in this span, and I was eating out at least one meal per day every day for years up until this diet... I don't so much mind not eating out anymore temporarily but it is a pain having to plan everything out ahead of time in terms of eating... hoping that will change soon enough though and I'll be able to at least get certain meals/snacks at some places..

[2kids4me]

I have had the experience with my children. Picture this - kids havent been diagnosed that long, still figuring some things out. Extended family members decide we should have dinner out at a local pancake house, being new to this at the time - I think there will be eggs or fruit, some choices at least for the kids. On top of that my son and I are both insulin dependent diabetics so timing is important. We agree to meet at noon. We arrive early so I can figure out the menu...sigh, NOTHING and I mean NOTHING other than a glass of milk or juice for the kids. Sausages -The waitress says the cook looked at the box and it is warehouse packed , no lable. No fruit today, eggs are cooked on a griddle - same one as the pancakes. so now I am paniced as I have never encountered this before... family starts arriving and chatting - in no hurry to order food, so I order for myself and get some drinks for the kids while I send hubby to store for bananas. Mom in law says - sit down son, we should be able to get them something -leads to discussion that NOTHING is safe. Meanwhile kids are starving, everyone else finally orders. Bananas arrive (and the restaurant had NO problem with us bringing in food, they felt bad there was nothing safe for the kids)... now I am eating dextrose tablets as my food hasnt come..... I ask .......they answer: it will come with all the other orders we thought you'd want to get the food at the same time as everyone else........ I wanted to scream!!!!

Kids were upset as they thought it would be like this at all restaurants, I was feeling crappy after getting low before food arrived.

I have become more assertive since then - I plan by taking fun food and yummy sandwiches (made with homemade tapioca bread - yum) in case there are no options. I also let others know that if they arrive late my son and I may have eaten because we HAVE to eat on time.

[son (11 yr) diabetic/celiac - diabetes diagnosed Sept 2003, celiac confirmed by biopsy Aug 2004. A daughter (13yr) diagnosed hypothyroid age 4, Hypotonia at birth, Aspergers at age 7, Kawasaki June 2003, celiac May 2004, stinging insect allergy diagnosed by RAST test 2005. I have insulin dependent diabetes (25 at diagnosis), hypothyroidism, and pernicious anemia.]

[Green12]

  2kids4me said:

I have had the experience with my children. Picture this - kids havent been diagnosed that long, still figuring some things out. Extended family members decide we should have dinner out at a local pancake house, being new to this at the time - I think there will be eggs or fruit, some choices at least for the kids. On top of that my son and I are both insulin dependent diabetics so timing is important. We agree to meet at noon. We arrive early so I can figure out the menu...sigh, NOTHING and I mean NOTHING other than a glass of milk or juice for the kids. Sausages -The waitress says the cook looked at the box and it is warehouse packed , no lable. No fruit today, eggs are cooked on a griddle - same one as the pancakes. so now I am paniced as I have never encountered this before... family starts arriving and chatting - in no hurry to order food, so I order for myself and get some drinks for the kids while I send hubby to store for bananas. Mom in law says - sit down son, we should be able to get them something -leads to discussion that NOTHING is safe. Meanwhile kids are starving, everyone else finally orders. Bananas arrive (and the restaurant had NO problem with us bringing in food, they felt bad there was nothing safe for the kids)... now I am eating dextrose tablets as my food hasnt come..... I ask .......they answer: it will come with all the other orders we thought you'd want to get the food at the same time as everyone else........ I wanted to scream!!!!

Kids were upset as they thought it would be like this at all restaurants, I was feeling crappy after getting low before food arrived.

I have become more assertive since then - I plan by taking fun food and yummy sandwiches (made with homemade tapioca bread - yum) in case there are no options. I also let others know that if they arrive late my son and I may have eaten because we HAVE to eat on time.

[son (11 yr) diabetic/celiac - diabetes diagnosed Sept 2003, celiac confirmed by biopsy Aug 2004. A daughter (13yr) diagnosed hypothyroid age 4, Hypotonia at birth, Aspergers at age 7, Kawasaki June 2003, celiac May 2004, stinging insect allergy diagnosed by RAST test 2005. I have insulin dependent diabetes (25 at diagnosis), hypothyroidism, and pernicious anemia.]

What a horrible experience for you and your kids. It's good that you learned from this, now planning ahead to be prepared if this should happen again, taking food with you.

You're like an old pro right out of the gate