How To Deal In A Non-gluten-free Household?

[tracii]

I'm dealing with a non-gluten-free household situation right now, eg., foods containing gluten are prepared all around the kitchen, glutened dishes & utensils etc. will get put in the sink/dishwasher with gluten-free ones. I have to rewash items that get washed with the same old dish rag that's been used & reused on glutened items.

No one seems to understand the severity of it all & can't seem to be bothered with it all. My word isn't good enough for them & research is out of the question. I know they just can't be bothered with it all (which I can accept) but I know the general concensus is that I'm overreacting. GRRRR!

To top it all off, my husband & I buy the groceries & I wind up cooking dinner every night!

How do I deal with all of this?

TIA!

[Smunkeemom]

it sucks, that's for sure. I had to put my foot down around here and throw a fit, but as of a few weeks ago, we have a 90% gluten free kitchen (still working on getting new cookware and dishes)

In the time that the kitchen wasn't gluten free, I tried to use paper plates, bowls, and plastic silverware for the gluten free food. That way I got out of the dishes thing, other than the pans, so we ate a lot of baked food, with disposable pans.

Short of throwing a fit, or contributing to the landfill problem, I suggest getting your own dish set (bowl, plate, silverware, and cup) and washing it yourself by hand as soon as it gets dirty. (you can get really cute ones made for kids at Walmart type stores, with like Strawberry Shortcake on them, that way everyone knows they are yours)

I would refuse to cook anything not gluten free, but, you may not have the crankyness that I do. Wash your hands a lot, don't double dip your spoons (like from gluten free pasta pan to the regular pasta pan) and try to cook stuff that you don't have to double time (like lasagna with gluten free noodles instead of spaghetti)

I am not the most uh... diplomatic though, so my official advice is to sit everyone down and say

"I have issues, that's for sure, but you all are making it very hard for me not to get sick, I know my diet sucks, but hey, it's going to be a lot harder around here if I am sick, because in addition to me B**ching all the time, I am going to be too sick to cook for you, so today it stops. The house will from this point forward be gluten free, and if you want that crap, you can get it elsewhere"

see? I am not at all diplomatic, mabye someone else can help.

[mouse]

I did not have this problem as my husband was only too happy to have the house go gluten free EXCEPT for his bread and snacks. He has his own toaster and all gluten items are made on the counter in front of that toaster. The area in front of my toaster is off limits. Any condiments or items in the frig. that are shared has a sticker on it so there is no double dipping. Items that are mine and are to be left alone (in frig) I put my name on them with a marker. All the dishes and utensils go into the sink and I pre-rinse everything before it goes in the dishwasher. All the hand washing I do. My husband even has his own kitchen towel in front of his toaster. This has worked for us. But, since I was litterly almost dead by the time I got the diagnosis, he really understood and has even thought up some of the things to do to avoid cross contamination. We go thru a lot of knives in this house to avoid the double dipping. Because they think you are over reacting, you might print out snippets about the issue of cross contamination and how one bread crumb can do damage or make you sick. It takes approx. one month for your small intenstine to heal from a couple of crumbs. I am sure that others will post who have dealt with the doubting thomases in a family.

And I also got rid of all the gluten flour, etc. Everyone keeps their gluten snacks (grown grandkids) in their room. They are not as careful as my husband and so their stuff is banned from the kitchen. I cook ONLY gluten-free meals. If they don't want the dinner I have prepared, then go out and eat. They even eat my gluten-free pasta and think it does not taste that much different then regular (tinkiyada).

[BRUMI1968]

My method has been very much like Smunkeemom, with the toaster anyway, and the flour.

1. throw away all baking supplies that are glutenous. Doesn't sound like they are going to be baking anyway. (Dust from flours and such is just too dangerous.)

2. Get your own toaster.

3. Get your own cutting board.

4. I WEAR my dishtowel straight out from the drawer each dinnertime to make sure no one is wiping their hands on it. I just toss it over my shoulder.

5. One whole side of the kitchen sink is mine - no gluten whatsoever, not beer, not suspect mayonaise, nothing, even if it can't make crumbs.

6. The toaster oven side of the kitchen sink is for gluten stuff...I just stay away.

One side of the stove has my spoon cradle, the other has his - never the twixt shall meet.

It's not perfect, but I"m working on it; it's only been a week or two.

I know what you mean about the whole cooking thing. I end up cooking for my husband even though he doesn't get home from work until 10 sometimes at night, when I'm done eating hours earlier. It sucks. He's gotten better - for example, if what he wants is made with bread, he seems willing to do it himself since I shouldn't be around the bread too much (or at least that's the way I made it sound).

Good luck. I know it's tough. I don't have kids (though I do have one friend who cooks at my house who is a lot like a teenager and I just don't let him do it unsupervised), so I can only imagine.

-Sherri

[gfp]

I'm dealing with a non-gluten-free household situation right now, eg., foods containing gluten are prepared all around the kitchen, glutened dishes & utensils etc. will get put in the sink/dishwasher with gluten-free ones. I have to rewash items that get washed with the same old dish rag that's been used & reused on glutened items.

No one seems to understand the severity of it all & can't seem to be bothered with it all. My word isn't good enough for them & research is out of the question. I know they just can't be bothered with it all (which I can accept) but I know the general concensus is that I'm overreacting. GRRRR!

To top it all off, my husband & I buy the groceries & I wind up cooking dinner every night!

How do I deal with all of this?

TIA!

Its hard to say without knowing who the others are...

If these are your kids then heck, just put your foot down.

If you are sharing a kitchen for other reasons then its more difficult. The reality is you will always get cross contamination in a non-gluten-free kitchen, its just a matter of time but you can obviously swing luck in your favor.

The main problem from what you say is the others taking the illness seriously but this depends so much on your circumstances it seems hard to come up with a best solution....

[Guest cassidy]

Who do you live with?

It is only my husband and myself and he eats gluten. It was very challenging in the beginning. He was angry that I couldn't just walk out the door and go to dinner at the spur of the moment. He was very unsupportive and made things very difficult. He has never been sick a day in his life, but when he gets a cold he acts like he is dying. I decided that he was going to be supportive and I had to figure out how to make him understand.

When he does something like cut up a mango with the same knife he just made his sandwich with so that I can't have the mango, I say - Mangoes are safe foods and I would have liked some also. I know this is all new to you also, but it hurts my feelings when you don't consider me. Next time, will you try to think ahead and use a clean knife for safe food? I'm not trying to make him feel guilty, I'm just trying to get him to see. I try to remind him in advance, if I see a mango, I say, can I have some that? Will you use a clean knife?

I also use the story that I go grocery shopping for him. He likes Mt Olive sweet relish. I buy him Mt. Olive sweet relish not because it is the least expensive, or the kind that I like, but I buy it because he likes it. He doesn't have to explain to me why he wants it, just the fact that he wants it is enough to make me buy it. How would he feel if I went to the grocery store and bought generic brand non-sweet relish? He would probably be upset that I didn't buy him what he wanted. Well, that is the same thing with being careful with gluten in the house, he needs to be careful not because he cares about it or thinks it makes sense (I have finally convinced him) but only because it is important to me and we respect our loved ones.

So, whoever you live with, I'm sure you do things for them because they like it. I'm sure they would be upset if you suddenly forgot all the little things that make them happy because it may seem like you don't care. I don't know if trying to explain it like that would help.

I also have set rules. No double dipping or using dirty knives in butter, peanut butter, etc. I use masking tape on the lid and write that out. We have separate pans and that is respected. I always use a clorox wipe to wipe down the counters before I make my meals so I know things are clean.

I don't think your problem is living in a house with gluten, I think it is that the people you are living with are not beig supportive or respectful. If you have gotten through to them in the past on a similar lack of respect situation, that approach may work.

[CarlaB]

I get very sick off little gluten so my family has a vested interest in keeping it away from me! They will have to do all the stuff I normally do if I get sick!

I have a red permanent marker and a green one. I put a green "gluten-free" on my food that can get contaminated, like mayo, peanut butter, butter, etc. If something has been used for a food with gluten, it gets a red X. If they use one of my "gluten-free" foods because there's was gone, they put a red X on top of the gluten-free.

I have an island, anything with gluten gets prepared on the island. I will be remodeling my kitchen soon and I'm going to add a small second sink for food preparation which will be gluten-free, the sink by the dishwasher will be for gluten.

I have pretty much switched over entirely to paper towels. The hassle of the contaminated dish towel was too much for me. I hate being wasteful, but the towel was driving me crazy because the kids would use a dirty one when they emptied the dishwasher. That's yucky even when not taking into account the gluten!

I have a new set of wooden spoons that I keep in a separate drawer and that look different from the others. I only cook gluten-free food. Since most of the stuff we eat is naturally gluten-free anyway, it doesn't really increase the food bill. Our household policy is that everyone is on their own for lunch, so that is when they are eating sandwiches, etc. that have gluten.

A couple weeks ago my 18 year old daughter was outside with about 10 friends. I walked out with the jar of peanut butter (this is before I bought the markers) and asked her if I could have it. She told me later that her friends had asked why I needed her permission to eat the peanut butter.

[Idahogirl]

I would have to say it is very difficult to be 100% gluten free with a family of gluten eaters. I try to do gluten-free dinners, but we can't afford that all the time, so I will make them hamburger helper or whatever, and I will have the same thing I always have-a quesadilla with sour cream, salsa and tomatoes on top.

What I have a hard time with is getting them to understand that when they eat my gluten free snacks first, I am left with nothing and they still have tons to choose from. It's almost like it is more attractive if I bought it just for me. Or if I make gluten-free cake or brownies-they are gone in the first day or two. Of course, they can all have Krispy Kremes or cookies anytime they want, and the one time there's something for me, it gets gobbled up like it's nothing. Of course, I am the bad guy if I don't share.

I don't have separate cutting boards, knives or cookware. But I wash everything in the dishwasher, so it seems like it should be fine. I can't afford all new stuff anyway. I always use paper towels-I go through a ton of them, don't know what I'd do without them.

I wish I had an answer to your problem, but I have to deal with the same thing all the time. People have a hard time understanding how difficult it is. And emotionally draining at times!

Lisa

[eKatherine]

I would have to say it is very difficult to be 100% gluten free with a family of gluten eaters. I try to do gluten-free dinners, but we can't afford that all the time, so I will make them hamburger helper or whatever, and I will have the same thing I always have-a quesadilla with sour cream, salsa and tomatoes on top.

What I have a hard time with is getting them to understand that when they eat my gluten free snacks first, I am left with nothing and they still have tons to choose from. It's almost like it is more attractive if I bought it just for me. Or if I make gluten-free cake or brownies-they are gone in the first day or two. Of course, they can all have Krispy Kremes or cookies anytime they want, and the one time there's something for me, it gets gobbled up like it's nothing. Of course, I am the bad guy if I don't share.

I don't have separate cutting boards, knives or cookware. But I wash everything in the dishwasher, so it seems like it should be fine. I can't afford all new stuff anyway. I always use paper towels-I go through a ton of them, don't know what I'd do without them.

I wish I had an answer to your problem, but I have to deal with the same thing all the time. People have a hard time understanding how difficult it is. And emotionally draining at times!

Lisa

I think it's time to put your foot down. Just because your family is totally inconsiderate doesn't mean you have to give them all your food and then go without.

I think what you need is to put a padlock on a cabinet door. When you make a pan of goodies, half gets locked up. When you pay big bucks for snacks, the whole thing gets locked up. As long as they have good food to eat and yours is out of sight, they have no right to complain. It won't hurt them to learn that you need to eat to live as much as they do.

Like - "Sorry, the old system wasn't working for me."

[ravenwoodglass]

I'm dealing with a non-gluten-free household situation right now, eg., foods containing gluten are prepared all around the kitchen, glutened dishes & utensils etc. will get put in the sink/dishwasher with gluten-free ones. I have to rewash items that get washed with the same old dish rag that's been used & reused on glutened items.

No one seems to understand the severity of it all & can't seem to be bothered with it all. My word isn't good enough for them & research is out of the question. I know they just can't be bothered with it all (which I can accept) but I know the general concensus is that I'm overreacting. GRRRR!

To top it all off, my husband & I buy the groceries & I wind up cooking dinner every night!

How do I deal with all of this?

TIA!

I would sit everyone down and say very nicely that unless they start to respect my needs for safe one person gluten free living the entire household will be gluten free. And if I got sick again from something they did that I would donate all gluten foods in the house to a food pantry and none would ever come in again. Then I would follow through.

[Guest nini]

my husband eats gluten, but I will only cook gluten free foods. If he wants something other than what I'm cooking he can make it himself. I got rid of all the wooden spoons and just use nylon or metal ones. No double dipping is allowed in the condiments and for the toaster oven I put down aluminum foil whenever I'm toasting something for me or my daughter. The non stick pans he can use, but I switched over to stainless steel pans. His gluten snacks are in an upper cabinet that my daughter and I can't reach (I'm short) and he has learned to ask if he can have our gluten-free safe snacks... I do have to clean my food prep area every time I get ready to cook, because he's not so careful with crumbs, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. In the beginning I would make two batches of pasta with meals, one gluten-free and one not, and it was too much work and I would forget and stir with the same spoon so I banished gluten containing pasta from the house. (except for his Kraft mac and cheese, which he has a separate collander to use)...

If you are doing the shopping and the cooking, don't buy anything with gluten and don't cook anything with gluten. If your husband wants something with gluten, he needs to keep it separate and not make you cook it. You have to look out for yourself, especially if they aren't going to. You can try to make them more aware, but that doesn't always mean they will comply.

I also switched to using more paper towels, but if I use a dish towel I get a clean one from the drawer... I'd rather do extra laundry than get sick.

[jkmunchkin]

I guess I'm fortunate in that DH never fought me on any of this and is an extremely picky eater so he doesn't even like half the "normal" stuff I eat so I don't have to worry about cross contamination to much. For instance I will buy cream cheese for my gluten-free bagels but he doesn't even like cream cheese so I don't have to worry about a contaminated knife going in there.

We mostly use paper towels. I will only use the dish towels on the gluten stuff. I wash everything thorougly before putting it in the dishwasher and then ofcourse it gets cleaned in the dishwasher so I am confident regardless of if the dish has been used for gluten or non-gluten items it is clean.

We have one of the hard plastic cutting boards rather than a wood one. If on the rare occassion the cutting board has been used for a gluten item, that to immediately goes in the dishwasher.

I have my own toaster and nylon spoons. He uses the wooden spoons so there is no confusing them.

But to be honest our house is really 90% gluten-free. DH has some stuff like his normal pasta, frozen White Castle Cheeseburgers (gross), and occassionally buy bread like hamburger rolls or something for himself; but there is very little in the house that has gluten. Not to say he won't grab a slice of pizza and bring it home, but that then goes on a plate, put in the dishwasher and washed.

I say don't make your family do the research, bring the research to them. So it's not just you saying it, print out stuff and post it on the fridge showing them that the research shows there can be no cc, etc.

[CarlaB]

If you leave the price tag on the gluten-free food, maybe that will keep your husband out.

As for my kids, they do as I say. I can make their lives very painful . If I get sick, they have to pick up the slack. Also, my car is very intelligent and likes me very much ... it refuses to run if my kid hasn't been respectful to me . So, if I buy gluten-free snacks and go to eat one and it's gone, no one can get anywhere!! They wouldn't dream of touching the food on my shelf of the pantry. They'd starve first. My husband always tells them, "If Mom's happy, we're all happy, so keep your mom happy!"

The point is, be assertive. As the mom we're used to nurturing everyone else and sometimes it's hard to ask. It's amazing how they can pull together when you need them to. I remember sitting on a stool in the kitchen Thanksgiving 2004 and crying that I couldn't cook dinner because I was so sick. They all came in and did all I told them. No one knew how to cook, so I sat on the stool and gave instructions.

I think it's important to take your husband aside and tell him how much you need his help to remain healthy. He needs to be supportive, then the kids will follow his lead.

My son was joking yesterday and told someone who saw our green and red markers that if he got mad at me he could just put a red x on everything in the pantry and refrigerator. It was funny because the thought never came to his mind to put a green gluten-free on something to make me sick! They understand.

[teankerbell]

We still have gluten in the house but only one person out of 3 eats gluten now. If I see crumbs, etc. I wipe it down and I have anti-bacterial gel at the kitchen sink for my hands. I use to get very uptight about it, but since I do most of the cooking for everyone anyway, it isn't a big issue for me.

I label my stuff so they know not to eat it.

Whoever wants to eat gluten, makes it for themselves.

[jkmunchkin]

As for my kids, they do as I say. I can make their lives very painful . If I get sick, they have to pick up the slack. Also, my car is very intelligent and likes me very much ... it refuses to run if my kid hasn't been respectful to me . So, if I buy gluten-free snacks and go to eat one and it's gone, no one can get anywhere!! They wouldn't dream of touching the food on my shelf of the pantry. They'd starve first. My husband always tells them, "If Mom's happy, we're all happy, so keep your mom happy!"

ROFLMAO!!! Love the part about the intelligent car. Very funny!

[Pegster]

Because my youngest is allergic to peanuts, we have always had to be careful in the kitchen. When I was diagnosed with celiac disease, the family just went along with the new routine. I don't cook or bake with gluten except the occasional holiday cake (my mixes are too expensive to share). I make pasta sauce and gluten-free pasta. If someone wants regular pasta, they make it themselves and clean up their own mess. No one would DARE eat my cookies, but I share the gluten-free baked goods I make and everyone likes them. We use squeeze bottles for jam and condiments. I won't slice bread for anyone and I won't clean up crumby messes. I doesn't hurt my family to believe that I will die if I touch a crumb and no one needs to tell them the truth.

[tracii]

Thanks everyone! (& TIA for allowing me to vent! )

After reading all your posts I realized I am pretty much doing as much as I can do, (I've been gluten-free for years).

We are staying with family temporarily ~ ACK! That is where the problems are. I try to explain things but it falls on deaf ears. I had to explain why my few pots & pans can’t be washed with glutened dishes & with the same dishtowel (My husband & I don’t use dishtowels at all & use paper towels also). The response I received was that a new dish rag/towel was used without glutened dishes. Plus everything was washed with very hot water which kills everything. LOL ~ if hot water killed gluten none of us would have to eat gluten free! On top of all of that a whole pile of utensils were washed with my gluten-free stuff!

Hopefully we won’t be here for much longer. Sucky thing is – I have to start eating gluten this week (for 1 week) because my gastroenterologist is adamant about getting the proper dx. I’m just hoping that how sick I actually get from eating gluten will make some kind of impact on the family members.

My hubby is pretty cool with it all & he mainly eats gluten-free. (I don’t cook gluten foods). He HATES to grocery shop though & I kind of need him there with me to help me out (I have other illnesses). We also use paper plates most of the time, though I still do have to purchase more pans, utensils, a cutting board (thanks for reminding me!) etc.

Hubby & I are extra careful & wipe counters down with Clorox wipes before use (since crumbs are left all over the counters).

The best thing I can say about the one family member is Ignorance is Bliss. Sigh.

Thanks again everyone, I’ll try to keep updating! BTW, if anyone was gluten-free & had to go back to eating gluten for celiac tests, how sick did you get?

[CarlaB]

I was on it for six weeks. By the end I was so sick I couldn't function. I felt unsafe driving because I felt so intoxicated by it.

I cannot imagine a week on it would do anything for a medical test. It's not long enough for a biopsy and it's probably not even long enough for a blood test. My biopsy came out negative after six weeks, and I later found out it needed to be 3-6 months. It would work, however, as a dietary challenge to see if you really react to it.

[ElizabethN]

My gastroenterologist also encouraged me to eat gluten again for a month to be tested. But I finally decided it seemed like it was more for his benefit than mine. The fact that my mystery illness that plagued me for years immdiately went away when I eliminated gluten was enough evidence for me. I don't need to be a statistic for him to know what I need to do with my diet. Whether I am simply intolerant or have celiac- either way I won't be touching gluten again in this lifetime! And I agree that a week won't really make much of a difference for test results- from what I have read it needs to be a couple months minimum- and who wants to do that? I personally would double check with your doctor and see just what he is hoping to accomplish with this gluten challenge.

[tracii]

Thanks Carla & Elizabeth. Yeah, I tried to get out of eating the gluten but the Dr. is adamant about getting a dx.

I had a grand mal seizure from malabsorbtion & malnutrition before an infectious disease specialist found Celiac Sprue after a TON of tests. After I stopped eating gluten I got better (except for other medical issues). I refused to go back to eating gluten when the Dr. wanted to do the test back then. I told him I that I just had a seizure & wasn't about to go back to eating gluten.

I'm really going to be upset if I have to go through being sick & not even getting a positive test result. The Dr. didn't even mention blood tests either!

Ah well, at least I get to eat Dunkin Doughnut's Munchkins, Burger King Chicken sandwich, Japanese dumplings & a Bloomin Onion!

[aikiducky]

Tracii, if the doc is planning to only do a biopsy, and you've been gluten free for years and only on gluten for a week, it's almost certain that the biopsy won't show signs of celiac. You really need to consider this. Because when the biopsy comes back "negative", most likely the doc will be adamant that you don't have celiac...which will make it more difficult again to convince family members that you need to be strictly gluten free. If you really think that it's necessary to get tested, you should eat gluten for a good while, personally I'd say six rather than three months but at least not less than that, otherwise this could really backfire...

Pauliina

[ravenwoodglass]

Thanks Carla & Elizabeth. Yeah, I tried to get out of eating the gluten but the Dr. is adamant about getting a dx.

I had a grand mal seizure from malabsorbtion & malnutrition before an infectious disease specialist found Celiac Sprue after a TON of tests. After I stopped eating gluten I got better (except for other medical issues). I refused to go back to eating gluten when the Dr. wanted to do the test back then. I told him I that I just had a seizure & wasn't about to go back to eating gluten.

I'm really going to be upset if I have to go through being sick & not even getting a positive test result. The Dr. didn't even mention blood tests either!

Ah well, at least I get to eat Dunkin Doughnut's Munchkins, Burger King Chicken sandwich, Japanese dumplings & a Bloomin Onion!

This doctor sounds like a sadist (IMHO), are you able to look for a second opinion or are you stuck with this guy. If celiac was already found why would this guy want to put you through this. Does he need a new pool?

[mouse]

One week is only going to make you sick and that is all. If you already have been diagnosed Celiac by blood tests, what is his problem? I would not do this for all the tea in China. I would definately find another doctor as this guy sounds like he does not know a thing about Celiac or gluten intolerance.

[Matilda]

..

[Guest Robbin]

Tracii, if the doc is planning to only do a biopsy, and you've been gluten free for years and only on gluten for a week, it's almost certain that the biopsy won't show signs of celiac. You really need to consider this. Because when the biopsy comes back "negative", most likely the doc will be adamant that you don't have celiac...which will make it more difficult again to convince family members that you need to be strictly gluten free. If you really think that it's necessary to get tested, you should eat gluten for a good while, personally I'd say six rather than three months but at least not less than that, otherwise this could really backfire...

Pauliina

I agree with Paulina. You really need to consider all the ramifications of this--severe illness, possible negative results from the short duration of the challenge--plus the skepticism of already skeptical family members. I'd forget that doc --