She Just Does Not Want To Eat ...

[manja]

I have a little daughter, her name is Anna and she is 2 and a half years old.

She got diagnosed with gluten sensitivity last Monday, and has been off gluten for about 6 days now.

The last days have been amazing. Anna stopped bedwetting within the first 24 hours of taking her off gluten.

(She had been potty trained for 6 months but for some reason wetted her undies during the day and night again. That was before Monday.) Last night for the first time in more than a year, she also slept through the night. Yuhuuu.

At the same time she is also having withdrawal symptoms. Today she was a very terrible, terrible two.

But let me get to the point ...

It is soooo difficult to feed her. (It always has been.)

She never volunteers to eat. She does not have anything she actually likes, other than veggies.

Most of the time Anna eats the same things (chicken, avocado, milk, vegetables). When you add something to her veggies that has more calories, she refuses to eat. She does not like what other kids her age like, such as chocolate.

Every feeding we have to tie her into her seat. Put on a kids movie so she is distracted, than we have to handfeed her every spoon. Often we even have to put food in her mouth, so she would eat, and we have to tell her to actually swallow. A feeding still takes about 30-45 minutes. Not surprisingly, she is on the very low side of the weight distribution curve. (24 pounds at 2 and a half years.)

Otherwise she is doing great. She is social, loving, full of energy (too much), smart and does all the things kids in her age she should be able to do.

But why is eating such a pain for her and us? I am frustrated.

[Ursa Major]

Manja, this is my take on this:

Anna can tell that you're very anxious about her eating, and may be playing a power game. As long as you coax her, feed her etc., she is in charge!

She WON'T starve if you stop doing that. Don't feed her, just put the food in front of her, and remove it when the family is done eating. She might have to actually get hungry before she will decide to eat. Only feed her if she asks for help (like finishing soup for instance).

Have healthy snacks out for her in between meals (like cut-up fruit, little carrots), but don't make a big deal out of it, just let her know they are there if she wants them.

She might even lose a little weight at first, but it is very likely that eventually she will eat and start gaining.

Ask her what she would like to eat for supper. If she has some say in her choice of food, she might want to eat it. Let her choose some food at the store (give her only two choices, that's all a child that age can handle......as in, 'which fruit would you like to buy, the grapes or the bananas?' for instance).

Most children that age like the same foods, and don't like to try anything new. So, a new diet is a definite challenge. She'll get used to it. If she likes vegetables, that's good. If she only likes chicken for meat, that's not so bad, either.

Give it time. Maybe she doesn't like to eat because she used to have tummy aches, but didn't say anything. It's hard to express what's happening for a child that young. Once her tummy feels good, and the withdrawal symptoms end, she may start wanting to eat. She might be afraid of food, because it used to make her feel bad!

Try not to make an issue of food. Just offer it, and let her choose to eat or not eat. I know it is hard to do, but be patient, don't try to force it and you might be pleasantly surprised. And you need to stop putting on movies to distract her from eating, it will backfire in the end.

I hope that things will improve soon!

[eKatherine]

I agree. Most children that age require very few calories to support their body weight and growth, except when during a growth spurt. Just make sure that she isn't drinking lots of juices, which are basically sugar water, and which displace other foods from the diet.

A while back I talked to a woman who described a similar meal ritual that always happened with her niece. The child was 10 years old, and all the adults around her were convinced that if they didn't hound her, she would never eat again and would starve to death. They had trained her to respond in this way.

[Guest cassidy]

I don't have kids, but I would assume that if she just got off gluten, she may not feel very well. Also, she may have realized that when she used to eat she would feel bad, so she has learned not to eat so she doesn't feel bad.

Being an adult and going off gluten there are many times when I don't want to eat. I got glutened a week ago and my stomach still hurts when I try to eat safe foods. I took four bites of dinner and didn't want anymore. I have loss a lot of weight these last few months, but I'm not going to make myself eat when I don't feel like it. There are times when all I can force myself to do is eat sweet potatoes for dinner or kefir for breakfast because I just don't want anything.

I'm sure you feed your child healthy food and you are trying your best. I know it can be very frustrating when kids won't eat under normal circumstances, but this sounds very, very frustrating.

I would give her a break and see if you can find something that she likes. Maybe pediasure or something like that. If she likes veggies, then give them to her. After a whle when she is feeling better maybe she will be more open to eating.

I'm looking at this like an adult, so I may be wrong, but I know I was a fussy eater as a kid - probably because all the gluten I was being fed made me feel bad.

Good luck and please remember that it takes time to heal.

[Guest nini]

I agree with the responses you've gotten so far and have to say, I've been there. We went through this with my daughter. She was 3 when we went gluten-free with her... She was always a very picky eater and getting her to eat was always a challenge and mealtimes were sooooo stressful. Her pediatrician told me that she could sense that we were stressing about mealtimes and that she was in control of the situation and said that she WOULD NOT STARVE herself... to relax about mealtimes, give her healthy gluten-free choices and eventually she would get hungry and eat. Also, because she had been in pain with eating for so long, she associated eating with pain, so she had to figure out on her own that the gluten-free food wouldn't hurt her tummy.

I want to assure you that it will get better. My daughter is now a very healthy happy six year old and eats quite well...

[key]

My little boy was two in March. He is also only about 25 lbs. He has been gluten free for a year now. Before we found out he had celiac disease, mealtimes were aweful! HE would refuse to eat, gag on food alot, spit it out. Never knew what he would eat. For awhile he would only eat yogurt. I think this was because it was one of the only things that didnt' make him feel sick. I really think he knew alot of the foods that were making him feel bad and had cut them out himself. It has only been a week and she will feel so much better soon, that she will be asking to eat and you will be thrilled. My two year old eats more then I do now! He loves to eat, asks to eat and feeds himself. He never gags on food anymore and meal times are great again. I would make sure you relax about feeding her now. I do realize it was frustrating and it was for me too. I really did think he would starve to death. He refused to eat and had diarhea all the time and was loosing weight, so it was very serious and we did want him to eat. I would just place the food in front of her with the rest of the family and remove it when she is done. I wouldn't feed her or make a big deal about it.

Hang in there. It will get much better. So happy that you finally found out what is making her so sick. It takes time to heal. Also you may want to cut out dairy for about six months. It can make them feel nauseated just like wheat when they are still healing. They can't digest dairy when the villi are blunted. This was definitely the case for my son and we cut it out for about six months and now he eats a ton of dairy just fine.

Monica

[Guest tracey and emma]

Hi

i have feeding issues with my daughter. don´t worry to much about the weight. Emma is 3 years old and is only 10kgs the weight of an 8-12mth old.

Emma did not eat at all, a thing last year if you are really conserned ask to be refered to a speach specialist they specialise in eating and feeding problems and are just fantastic.

1 good point to remember is alway have family meals together and when you dish up the food start really small like 1/2 a mouth ful and then slowerly build it up. have a reward chart but again start slowerly only have to finish 2 meals to start with the smallest amount on them. targets should be small and achevable.

the other good point which will help is do not mix textures for instance if you have gravy or a sauce with potatoes put them appart as to eat them together childern have to learn 2 differnt skills. drinking and swallowing, somthing bulky. also one texture in not as scary.

Peas have 2 textures the skin and the soft bit inside so i hope you are seeing what i mean

the other thing is use the bath and only in the bath area put alsorts of food ketchup spaghetti covered in oil is great .......... and let you child have fun it is so messy but i would not do this at the table as you could give the wrong idear and it is easyer to clear away in the bath.

This is the advice we were given and if your child only eats small amounts then atleast thats somthing

Emma has to be tube fed but does have many other problems including suspected celiacs.

good luck with it all

tracey

[Nantzie]

I agree with what everyone says. I do want to add that I've been going through an absence of appetite myself lately, so I've got an adult perspective on it that I've never had before. I've got a 2yo and a 4yo, and I've had trouble getting them to eat a variety of things, or even very much. I never understood how they could not be hungry. But then, after I went gluten free, for some strange reason, my appetite disappeared. If I would try to make myself eat, it would just make me kind of nauseous. Just the feeling of eating and the food sitting in my stomach, was nauseating. It really gave me a perspective on how my kids must feel when they don't have an appetite. I'm just really disinterested in food. Which sounds like some of what you're describing.

I think it sounds like a 2yo power play combined with a disinterest in food. My daughter especially, went through a time where I could barely get her to eat anything at all. It seemed like it would last forever. She eats a small variety of things now, but she still is very picky. Plus she doesn't like things that most kids like either. Cheese, pasta, ranch dressing, pancakes, cake, are all things she won't even touch.

You might want to call and talk to your pediatrician's office (mine has an advice nurse on staff), and they can give you advice on this. I know you said your daughter is on the very low end of the weight scale, so I'm sure you have some worry about doing the she-won't-starve-herself thing, because 2yo's can really dig their heels in on this type of stuff. You can ask them how much weight it is safe for her to lose before you need to worry about it. Maybe you can agree together that if she loses more than a certain number of pounds, you can bring her in for them to look at her and let you know if you can keep doing the she-won't-starve technique. That might make you more comfortable with it?

I hope things get better.

Nancy

[2Boys4Me]

Anna can tell that you're very anxious about her eating, and may be playing a power game. As long as you coax her, feed her etc., she is in charge!

She WON'T starve if you stop doing that. Don't feed her, just put the food in front of her, and remove it when the family is done eating. She might have to actually get hungry before she will decide to eat. Only feed her if she asks for help (like finishing soup for instance).

Have healthy snacks out for her in between meals (like cut-up fruit, little carrots), but don't make a big deal out of it, just let her know they are there if she wants them.

Ditto. The only thing I would add is to turn off the tv and make her sit at the table with the family at meal time. At two and half she can certainly sit at the table and watch you guys eat for 15 minutes, even if she's not hungry or won't eat.

My kids are 6 1/2 and 8 1/2 and at suppertime even if they aren't hungry they are required to sit at the table and have a conversation about their day so we can "pretend like we're a real family." Then they say "We are a real family" and I say that in that case, we need to act like it because families have meals and conversations at supper.

[shayesmom]

It is soooo difficult to feed her. (It always has been.)

She never volunteers to eat. She does not have anything she actually likes, other than veggies.

Most of the time Anna eats the same things (chicken, avocado, milk, vegetables). When you add something to her veggies that has more calories, she refuses to eat. She does not like what other kids her age like, such as chocolate.

Every feeding we have to tie her into her seat. Put on a kids movie so she is distracted, than we have to handfeed her every spoon. Often we even have to put food in her mouth, so she would eat, and we have to tell her to actually swallow. A feeding still takes about 30-45 minutes. Not surprisingly, she is on the very low side of the weight distribution curve. (24 pounds at 2 and a half years.)

Otherwise she is doing great. She is social, loving, full of energy (too much), smart and does all the things kids in her age she should be able to do.

But why is eating such a pain for her and us? I am frustrated.

This sounds so much like my dd (even to the exact weight!).

We also experienced difficulty in feeding our dd. That has finally gotten better (as in dd actually now raids the cabinets and refrigerator). But I can say that it took a LONG time for dd to begin trusting food again. For too long, she associated food with pain and that is a hard barrier to overcome. Give it some time and be patient.

Also, do not rule out other food intolerances yet. My dd was eating cheese and drinking milk at the time we went gluten-free. Six months later, all dairy had to come out of diet (as well as soy, then food colorings, artificial sweeteners, food additives, MSG......). If extreme activity levels are present, your dd is still not eating, there are sleep disruptions or rashes begin to appear.....look into other possible sources of intolerance. Casein is the usual first suspect.

Besides that, try to relax at mealtimes. It is normal for toddlers to challenge us on food. This task is made especially difficult when one is dealing with food intolerances. My dd went through 3 separate phases of not eating. The first was due to undiagnosed gluten intolerance. The second was because she was too darn busy to sit down and eat (we also had to distract her and later discovered that she had other intolerances going on which were contributing to the poor concentration and inability to sit still). And the third was simply because she realized the tremendous power she held over me when it came to food (I was always worried about what and how much she was eating). It takes a while to be able to determine a true issue from a normal "phase", but eventually you do strike up a balance. Good luck!

[manja]

Thanks so much everyone for your input. It does mean a lot to me.

I took Anna off dairy two days ago. I am now giving her almond "milk", a pack of apple juice and water.

Anna adopted the almond milk right away. She drinks it just like regular milk.

That is a lot of progress, since Anna was so much into milk, it almost looked like she was addicted to it.

Her appetite has increased as well. During the last two days she actually said things like "My tummy is making noises." " I am hungry." She is snacking much more inbetween meals. I used to offer her snacks before, but she never showed interest in them.

Instead of pushing the foods higher in calories, I let her have all the veggies she wants.

We also played a game where she was feeding me. She loved it.

Anna even volunteered to try some pork. I was also able to give her banana.

I put it in the blender with some water and she had it like a smoothy.

For some reason she suddently also picked up eating wallnuts and almonds.

I decided not to spoon feed her anymore. She is now using her fingers to eat her food.

I guess that is ok for the beginning.

I am very excited about all the progress.

Hope it is going to continue like this.

Can someone explain to me why food intolerances do not show up on allergy test?

I had Anna tested for gluten and dairy not too long ago.

[Nantzie]

Oh my gosh!!! That's WONDERFUL!!! What a transformation!

YAY!!

(We really need a jumping up and down smilie)

Nancy