Ugh Displaced Mind

[ravenwoodglass]

yeah sorry did not meen head i ment like i buy spinish thats wrapped with a rubberband, not the prebagged should be fine i always wash it first anyways, i love my greens, probably one of the only things thats giving me energy.

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there is not weat in anistetics ever is there? just wondering about the sedation they are going to use for the endo/colonoscopy

Glad to hear you like the greens, they are great. When you wash greens and veggies do you use just water or do you use something that you spray on that is supposed to get them super clean? The reason why I ask is because some of the rinses that they sell for veggies actually have gluten.

I also love cooked greens and one of the favorites ways that I did them at the restaurant was to take fresh spinach (or any other cookable green) and saute it with olive oil and some garlic, throw in some drained and rinsed cannelli or white beans and top with some crumbled bacon. We went through a lot of this.

For the sedative issue you simply need to make the doctor aware of the need for this. Talk to them in advance and perhaps like the picture you drew on your 'hip' you could write no gluten on your forehead Just kidding. Just make sure they know, and be a broken record about it.

[Lister]

i just wash with water.

man wtf i got brain fog right now been getting plently of sleep eating healthy, been extra carefull of cc, did not work today. but unyet im all fogged up.. life sux

[Lister]

gah i keep getting nagged by my girlfriends grandma, she is convinced that the only thing wrong with me is IBS... she wont get it out of her mind that its what i have and she keeps brining it up gah. She has been diagnosed with ibs since she was like 15, she has a endo and colonoscopy every year with no results so maybe she does have it but i know i dont, ibs does not make you loose weight or be in almost constant discomfurt. plus IBS is fake right? isnt it what they say you have when they cant figure out whats wrong with you? or atleast i was pretty sure. whatever is wrong with me is killing me slowly even though i have to admit since having the enema as prep i think i am absorbing more from my food, im still loosing weight infact faster but i have alot more energy then i used too. man i can not belive i have to wait another 2 months for answers i dont know what to do to keep my mind off of it.

well atleast her grandma told me her secret to getting endos and colonoscopys done, she says to sleep deprive yourself only let yourself get maximum of 2 hours of sleep that way no matter what drugs they give you, you will pass out and they will have to literaly shake me awake

[Lister]

anyone know about ulcers? i was wondering can you have ulcers without blood loss? i am thinking maybe peptic ulcers could be the cause of my problems since they can cause weight loss and the pain i have sounds alot like a ulcer (burning pain, followed by knawing sensation followed by a gurgle noise- then repeats) but i can subside it when i eat. the only thing that it would not explain is the mucus i get in my stools, unless a ulcer can cause this also? anyone know? man it would make me so happy to know that there is still a chance that what is wrong with me is as simple as a ulcer (I really would not be surpised, im always stressed, i smoke about 12 cigs a day plus weed, i meen im asking for a ulcer)

[Lister]

i just got the pamphelts for the endo and colonoscopy along with prep procedures, i dont think i can go thru with it its to much its just to much. first off i dont get to eat for the entire day before the procedure (unlike the stig where i could eat all the way until 4pm) i dont get to eat ALL DAY, and the procedure is not until 1pm the next day thats over 24 hours without food i cant do that, the only thing that keeps me from constant pain is eating, and then to top it off instead of a enema i have to take something called HalfLytely and bisacodyl tablets, its like a giant jug of liquid that you drink that makes you crap uncomfturbly all day long. so not only will my stomic already be hurting i get to hve diarea all day doggone long and then the procedures themselfs scare the crap out of me, between the sedatives and the procedure themselves its enough for me to have a panic attack, the endo is the worse one, they like hve to spray your throat so you wont gag and crap, and it says you will have a sore throat and stuff, i really cant go thru with it, i really cant. I meen whatever is wrong with me is obvesuly not killing me or i would already be dead right? so i meen i should just suck it up and deal with the pains for the rest of my life, because i meen chances are whatever is wrong is chronic anyways and they wont be able ot fix it, and that meens i would go thru all of this for nothing anyways. man i cant do it really i cant

[CarlaB]

Lister, you are paying so much for all these medical procedures ... if you're not happy with them, why don't you save a little each week to pay for Enterolab? Then if Enterolab doesn't get you answers, you can go back to the docs. You said you spend something like $10 per day on weed, save that for a month and you have enough for the tests!

I do think your anxiety is contributing to your illness.

[Lister]

im not paying anything for them acually, the hospital waves all gastrointolgy bills. but the prep that kit costs 50 dollers i dont have, right around the holiday season also, infact its 3 days before my aneversary so much for getting my girl a nice gift... this is all so much BS... i dont pay for green anymore. its free or i dont smoke it. the only reason i dont have money is from another doctor office thats not thru the hospital

[CarlaB]

Free gifts -- Massage, walks in the park, does she have a car -- wash it for her, cook dinner and eat by candlelight, coupons you make for her

Sorry it sucks right now. Maybe it would do you some good to just get lots of rest, go for a calm walk with your girlfriend every day, go to bed by 10PM, not have the stress of the docs -- maybe just having the stress lifted and not worrying about it anymore will make you feel better. Also, I know it's just a parallel type change, but can you work at Taco Bell instead of Burger King? It just seems like there would be less of a chance of constant contamination there (fewer crumbs in a tortilla than in a bun). I know you've said a change is impossible right now, but just moving from one place to another might be a possibility.

If after 6 months or so you're not feeling better, then you can talk to the doc again. It seems that the most important thing for you to do right now is relax!!

[Lister]

its been almost 6 months since i first got sick, things are not going to get better for me.. unless there is something wrong with me that can be fixed with meds.. otherwise whatever this is is chronic, been gluten free for 5 months now and casien free with little to no improvements, even when i was on a vacation i did not get better so cc is not the issuse. plus entrolab is not recognized by doctors, so probably its a scam, as much as most of you belive in it, if it was so acurate it would have already been taken into the medical field... wont have any money for the test forever anyways, october is my gfs birthday then the next month is are anaversary and then its christmas ... im not stressed, just worried and scared. i dont see how anyone can put themselfs thru the tortuer to take those tests or to even take the tests themselfs especally both at the same time, its like double penatration but from both angls.................... i really hate my life at this point.. to top it all off my friend just killed himself yesterday, the cops are ruling it as a suicide but there are flaws that to me point to murder, he died from a shot to the head, the gun at the sceane was in his right hand (first off the kids left handed second if you shoot yourself in the head, your going to drop the gun) also he was never a depreseed kid full of life does not make sense but are town cops are stupid... i need some green but im to broke, i dont even know what to do with myself anymore. I really cant keep doing this day in and day out

[CarlaB]

So, you have one doctor bill that is making money so tight for you? If so, and if you could afford to save up for Enterolab if you didn't have that medical bill, I would call that doctor's office and tell them you cannot send them money now (maybe send them $5 per month or something for the time being to show good intentions), and save for Enterolab -- if the Enterolab tests will give you peace of mind. Then resume your payments after your test.

I own rental properties and when I check people's credit, I disregard medical bills on their credit report. I'm not saying to stiff the doctor, but it seems that your budget should include food and education expenses. It'll probably go over to collections, but when you finally pay it off, that will be indicated on your credit. You can have one bad account on your credit and it won't affect it much, you can build it back later when you're feeling better.

its been almost 6 months since i first got sick, things are not going to get better for me.. unless there is something wrong with me that can be fixed with meds.. otherwise whatever this is is chronic, been gluten free for 5 months now and casien free with little to no improvements, even when i was on a vacation i did not get better so cc is not the issuse. plus entrolab is not recognized by doctors, so probably its a scam, as much as most of you belive in it, if it was so acurate it would have already been taken into the medical field... wont have any money for the test forever anyways, october is my gfs birthday then the next month is are anaversary and then its christmas ... im not stressed, just worried and scared. i dont see how anyone can put themselfs thru the tortuer to take those tests or to even take the tests themselfs especally both at the same time, its like double penatration but from both angls.................... i really hate my life at this point.. to top it all off my friend just killed himself yesterday, the cops are ruling it as a suicide but there are flaws that to me point to murder, he died from a shot to the head, the gun at the sceane was in his right hand (first off the kids left handed second if you shoot yourself in the head, your going to drop the gun) also he was never a depreseed kid full of life does not make sense but are town cops are stupid... i need some green but im to broke, i dont even know what to do with myself anymore. I really cant keep doing this day in and day out

Wow, that's terrible. I'm sorry it's going so bad for you right now. If you don't think Enterolab is worth it, then I'd still take the stress of the bills off you some by reducing what you're paying for the doc and putting your education before the doctor bills. You might ask doc for some anti-anxiety meds to help with the stress.

[jerseyangel]

Lister,

I really am so sorry that all of this is coming down on you right now. You've had a lot to deal with the past several months, that's for sure.

Please accept my sincere condolences on the death of your friend. It's hard to lose someone you care about, especially when you can't even come to terms with how or why they died.

Maybe right now, you could put the thought of these tests out of your mind for a while. While they are probably a good idea for you, I hate to see you so distraught. Try not to think too far into the future--most of what we worry about dosen't happen, anyway.

Concentrate on taking things one day at a time. Get through this crisis about your friend, spend some quiet time with your girlfriend, or others who you are most comfortable with.

When the time comes to think about the rest of it, we'll be here to talk you through it all. You can count on that!

[oceangirl]

Lister,

I really am so sorry that all of this is coming down on you right now. You've had a lot to deal with the past several months, that's for sure.

Please accept my sincere condolences on the death of your friend. It's hard to lose someone you care about, especially when you can't even come to terms with how or why they died.

Maybe right now, you could put the thought of these tests out of your mind for a while. While they are probably a good idea for you, I hate to see you so distraught. Try not to think too far into the future--most of what we worry about dosen't happen, anyway.

Concentrate on taking things one day at a time. Get through this crisis about your friend, spend some quiet time with your girlfriend, or others who you are most comfortable with.

When the time comes to think about the rest of it, we'll be here to talk you through it all. You can count on that!

Lister,

I have just read this entire thread after seeing it for weeks and weeks and not reading it. I don't know how to put this delicately, so I will be direct to you and others responding to you. You have EXTREME anxiety. I work every day with teenagers (not so far in age from you) who deal with this very common issue. Along with your very serious digestive issues, which I have nothing but empathy for as you sound similar to me, you are anxious to the point where it is seriously affecting your quality of life. I am not a fan at all, as a professional or as a Mom and a human being, of drugs. HOWEVER, there are times in all our lives when a medication can truly help us. It doesn't mean you will be on that medication forever, just to help you through a particularly difficult time. If you were in my program , I would be gently encouraging you to see someone in the professional realm who could take a look at your anxiety in hopes a medication could ease you through this trying time. Your age makes it even more likely that this would be beneficial and quite temporary. Did you know that your prefrontal lobe, all of ours, does not complete itself until we are somewhere around age 25? No wonder as teens and young adults we find ourselves in such tumult! Please consider what I am saying. I feel fairly certain that in a state like Oregon (sister state, I feel, to Maine) there are alternative programs to assist those who don't have the finances to receive this kind of help. For instance, there is a program in Maine called "Youth Alternatives" that offers all kinds of free resources to young people who need a hand. Call your Department of Human Services to start or your local hospital and ask what programs are available in your area. My heart goes out to you. When I read what you've written, it's as if I am talking with any one of so many young adults who've passed through my program. While you are healing your digestive issues, please look to help with your anxiety. I have terrible anxiety myself, but I'm much older than you and have developed coping mechanisms, which you, too, will do eventually. Right now you need a little help. I hope I have not offended you. I would just like you to feel better!

Sincerely,

lisa

[Lister]

no offense taken. But to me i dont see myself having axeity issues, besides for panic attacks i get when falling asleep at night.

[CarlaB]

no offense taken. But to me i dont see myself having axeity issues, besides for panic attacks i get when falling asleep at night.

Lister, you do seem to have anxiety pretty badly. Anxiety is not always severe as in a panic attack, it's more like intense stress. I agree that you should look into anti-anxiety meds.

[Lister]

my girlfriend agrees that i have axiety... carlab i would really love to take your advice and just relax, but i cant keep myself from worring about whats wrong with me.

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How easy is it for a doctor to tell if a cyst is benign or not? the reason im asking is that i have a large cyst on my back, i had the doctor look at it 2 months ago and he just took a quick glance at it and said it was benign and i just need to put a warm compress on it, well 2 months later its still there but its doubled in size, its about 3 inchs around and it literaly goes 2 inchs off my back its a huge lump, it also hurts if i lean against it..

well if i am gluten intolerant i think i glutened myself, i keep having gas feeling all over, and my vision has gone to astoned like state and im hyper sensative to sound even the keyboard is irratating my ears... man WTF is WRONG WITH ME...... i really really hope whatever is wrong with me is not chronic or cancer, if its either i am not sure if i will let myself live, as it is i feel like crap 50% of my day and am in pain for probably 75 % of my day if ihave to live like this the rest of my life i dont think im going too.. i know i know shouldnt talk like that but its true my life sucks and im getting sick of it

[ravenwoodglass]

Lister I have to agree with the others about the anxiety thing. All the worry you are expressing is a clear indication of that. It seems to be really getting in the way of you living your life. I also am very antidrug when it comes to that type of med but there are times when it is needed in the short term and I would be quite surprised if your doctors have not already offered you some medicinal help. It is time to take them up on it.

As to the cyst, I have one now that I have had for almost a year. Every time I get glutened it reactivates and gets larger. If yours is uncomfortable it can be drained and excised very easily by your doctor.

Have you read this thread through from the begining? If not I suggest that you do so and when you do try not to read it as your thread, read it like you didn't know who wrote it. The changes in the tone and the panic and anxiety are really obvious. There are many of your posts that are well expressed and then there are others where your 'worried' mental state screams so loudly that they are difficult to read. Not because they are not understandable but because at times you seem very near the edge.

I sincerely hope you get some relief soon. I think the statement that you think you got glutened recently is right on but that does not mean that some antianxiety assistance either through talk therapy to learn how to deal with it and/or some meds to get you through would not be beneficial to you.

[Lister]

i talked to my grandpa again (well emaild) asked this time if he would loan me the money for the enterolab, i dont know if he is going to say no or yes but if he says yes i only asked for 150 so that meens i can only get 1 of the $99 panels because shipping is $40 so what panel is the one i should get the stool or the gene

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i was wrong about getten glutned, feeling only lasted about 30 min then i was back to normal, though i am draggign today but i did not get much sleep

[CarlaB]

Maybe if you went to you doctor and said that everyone around you says you're suffering from anxiety and you think you might need something for it, he'll prescribe something, then you can relax and think more clearly. I also think that you will realize your stomach doesn't feel so bad anymore. Anxiety can cause stomach upset, I know mine gets in knots if I get upset ... so you're bound to feel better if you can take something for it.

The only reason I think you might need Enterolab is for your own peace of mind to show you that there's a reaction going on. I know I needed that proof ... maybe that will also help with your anxiety, but I would definately get the meds.

[Lister]

the only way i could get the meds is seeing my regular doctor (the only place i cant ride off with 100% charity) so it would come out of my own pocket just to see him thats why i cant do it.. unless there anxiety drugs i can get without a perscription

[CarlaB]

I found this website which has this description of anxiety (Open Original Shared Link): Anxiety is the unpleasurable affect, usually accompanied by physiological sensation, that is characterized by worry, doubt and painful awareness that one is powerless to control situations. In contrast to fear, anxiety is irrational. The anxious person is hypervigilant, tense and insecure in most situations. Their heightened negative state leads to some of the somatic complaints that can be particularly prominent. These include excess sweating, trembling, dizziness, palpitations, shortness of breath, gastrointestinal upset, hot flashes, dry mouth, increased urination, fatigue and restlessness. The anxiety episodes can become so intense that individuals believe they are actually "going crazy" or will die.

This is off the NIH website (Open Original Shared Link): Anxiety disorders commonly occur along with other mental or physical illnesses, including alcohol or substance abuse, which may mask anxiety symptoms or make them worse.

The only over-the-counter remedy I can find is St. John's Wort for depression. They say anti-depressants can help anxiety. It takes 4-6 weeks to start working. Also, from several sites, it said alcohol and drug use can make anxiety worse (even if the temporary effects don't seem that way). It might be worth trying to find a doc who would consider doing this as a charity. It seems that medical help is the best answer, but you could try the St. John's Wort. I take it, and even friends who don't see me that often notice a difference (and they didn't know I was taking it).

[ravenwoodglass]

the only way i could get the meds is seeing my regular doctor (the only place i cant ride off with 100% charity) so it would come out of my own pocket just to see him thats why i cant do it.. unless there anxiety drugs i can get without a perscription

Lister your doctor knows your history and may prescribe them without another visit. Also if he does give you a script most doctors have samples that they get and many will just give you some of the samples without charge. You would just have to go to the office and pick them up. Drug companies will sometimes help with free prescriptions for folks that are low income, you would just call them and ask.

You still seem to be quite in doubt about the gluten intolerance issue, did your doctor have a reason, like blood work, for telling you to do the diet? Did he or a nutritionist ever have you do a gluten challenge after you eliminated it? Have you ever challenged other than possible CC? I would never reccommend a challenge to someone who has a diagnosis and has had felt better on the diet but you seem to be so in doubt about gluten being the source of your problems that I felt I should ask if you have done one.

[Lister]

have not done a challange im scared too. As for tests my bloodwork was completly negative not a signle elivated antibodie, but the diet was becasue during the barilum xray serise they found damage to the mucosul folds that may indicated a gluten intolerancy. but no sound proof

[ravenwoodglass]

have not done a challange im scared too. As for tests my bloodwork was completly negative not a signle elivated antibodie, but the diet was becasue during the barilum xray serise they found damage to the mucosul folds that may indicated a gluten intolerancy. but no sound proof

Thanks for clarifying. I wasn't sure at what diagnosis point you were at. I hope you can get some definite answers soon. There are some mainstream doctors that are starting to accept the Enterolab or fecal antibody screening so I hope you don't completely discount it. I know how frustrating it is, I was negative on blood work myself.

[Lister]

can stomic issuses cause knee pain? trying to figure out if its related at all, i am having needle pinch like sensations inside my left knee cap it really really hurts and its been going on about 4 hours now

[Guest Robbin]

You know, Lister, I really care about you. You have been on here for awhile and I sooo want to help you, but I really feel that you need to listen to your docs, ask them for something for anxiety, (heck, I don't know why that haven't given you anything, most of the doctors I know do that first), and try to focus on that nice girlfriend who really must care for you. I am not diagnosing you, or advising you in any way medically, but joint pain can happen when you are depressed, when you have a strain, when you have arthritic conditions, when you have fibromyalgia, the list goes on and on. I think for the time being, you should try ice or cold packs and keep it elevated. If it is not any better, ask the doctor about it. It could be related to intestinal problems, but let him know exactly what the pain is if it continues and please, please, please do not jump to some gawd-awful conclusions, you have enough stress.

I also would like to say how sorry I am for the loss of your friend, this is all a lot for a young guy to handle and I am glad you come here for support. I wish you were able to lean on your family, but I know how that goes sometimes. Take care and maybe try meditation or deep breathing exercises. Google deep breathing and see if it helps.