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Ignorant Relatives...

Veronica

By Veronica
in Coping with Celiac Disease

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Veronica Rookie
Veronica
Posted

I've been reading alot here and I'm so happy to see that most of you have supporting families. Your mom's try not to gluten you, other members of your family take extra care for you. I think that's great!!! The more support we get the better we feel :)

Maybe my family is just wierd, selfish is more like it. Noone takes what I have seriously...except my husband. He's there for me 1000%. My Mom had to move in with us...not my choice. But she moved in before I was diagnosed, I was very sick. After my biopsy came back positive, my Mom thinks this is a joke. When I cook something gluten-free, she looks over my shoulder, turns her nose up at my food and comments on tasteless it is.

My husband told my Mom that it would be a great support to me if our house was now gluten-free. Her response was "Why do I have to suffer like her. I can eat what I want."

God I wish Celiac on that woman!!! Just one good hard glutening might straighten her out.

I am a grown woman with a wonderful husband and 2 great teenage boys.My kids and hubby take this very seriously. My 15 yr old wipes the table after he's done eating, and if I stare too long when he's eating a pizza, he will tell me that the pizza will kill me and sometimes he'll take it outside!!

How can I get the rest of my family to take this seriously? My brother told me I'd be fine eating the inside of a cheesecake he made (with regular flour) because there's only flour in the crust!!! How STUPID is that???Telling me not to be so paranoid, the cake is fine for me. If I had cancer they'd listen wouldn't they?

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CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted

My household is very supportive because they knew how sick I was, but those outside my house don't take me seriously except for my husband's uncle who lives walking distance from us and knows how bad I get from a little gluten.

Doesn't your mother see how much better you're doing? Did she move in because you were sick? If so, can she now leave?

My kids are like that, too. If I ask how something was that they ate with gluten, they'll say, it was gross, be glad you didn't have to eat it. :lol:

Veronica Rookie
Veronica
Posted
  • Author

Thanks Carla! Actually my Mom had to move in becasue she had nowhere else to go, she left my Dad. She saw how how sick I was before I was diagnosed, commented on how much weight I've lost, told me she would help and support me anyway she could. Then I got diagnosed. Everything changed. I guess Celiac is not serious enough for her. She watched me roll on the couch in extreme pain, run to the washroom constantly, and if that wasn't happeneing I was sleeping.

Hate to say it but it won't be long before she gets the boot!! Can't handle the stress. That's what got me sick...too much stress.

Is it normal for the relatives outside the house to be so ignorant towards this? With the exception of your uncle, who you are lucky to have.

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted

I think it's pretty normal. Having a disease where the answer is just avoiding a food sounds pretty benign, even to me!

I have had trouble for all my life, I finally found out about my gluten intolerance at 43. Stress for me, was always a trigger for health problems. You have kids to be concerned with, if your mom is a problem, I'd do what I could to help her get out on her own.

FaithInScienceToo Contributor
FaithInScienceToo
Posted

You have a not-so-great mom...you're not alone....

A sugggestion: Since they are supportive of you, have your kids and husband have a planned SERIOUS chat with her, all of them together (without you - when you're out) about how THEY are disappointed with her - and how THEY want her to be a better mother to you, to protect your health, and that it's not a matter of 'what she thinks'...let them defend you..

BUT....ask them, also, to not tell her that you asked for their assistance, so you don't then get the 'so, you couldn't talk with me yourself about it?' looks, comments....

That's all I can think of - good luck!

penguin Community Regular
penguin
Posted

It depends entirely on your family and how they feel about that kind of stuff in general. I'm spectacularly lucky as I have not had any family members doubt me (my mom was wishy-washy for a while, and then she stayed with me whil I was on my gluten challenge :rolleyes: ). It really is a crapshoot.

I wouldn't put up with that from anybody, especially not someone living in my house. She doesn't have to eat the food you make, but she had better not bring food into the house! Mom's are a pain sometimes, good luck!

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
You have a not-so-great mom...you're not alone....

A sugggestion: Since they are supportive of you, have your kids and husband have a planned SERIOUS chat with her, all of them together (without you - when you're out) about how THEY are disappointed with her - and how THEY want her to be a better mother to you, to protect your health, and that it's not a matter of 'what she thinks'...let them defend you..

BUT....ask them, also, to not tell her that you asked for their assistance, so you don't then get the 'so, you couldn't talk with me yourself about it?' looks, comments....

That's all I can think of - good luck!

This is a great idea ... I would only talk to hubby and let him present the idea to the kids ...

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Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

My NSO thought I was nuts until we went to Red Robin. I asked about gluten free and they brought out a printed sheet of what was available.

Somehow seeing that enough other people have this issue that RR has a special info sheet made it real for him.

Guest ~jules~
Guest ~jules~
Posted

I am really lucky that my mom is a diabetic, she's very eager to learn and help. We can relate to each other I guess. My father is old fashioned and doesn't "get it" Oh, my oldest brother! He said he wouldn't go get checked, that it was some "woman sh**" that I got from mom. OMG! That was the most stupid thing I have ever heard anyone in my family ever say. I didn't even bother arguing with him. :blink: All the others act like they are listening, but I can tell they aren't interested. I've already decided that I don't want to make a big fuss about it, thats not in my nature. If I have to eat at one of their houses, I'll take the necessary steps to eating safely, and if anyone has questions I will answer, but i'm certainly not going to initiate talking about it. I would however be a little peeved if someone was standing over me while I was cooking, making rude comments. I'm sorry :( Thats really rude.....

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