Upset About What Colleauge Did To Me!

[jesscarmel]

I'm really upset! today a kid at work came up to me and asked me if i was sick. i said actually i am sick, i have a cold. he said "oh well i did something to your keyboard." the short story is he was in my office wiht this therapist and another therapist and she told him to cough on my keyboard (he was sick) so i would get sick i geuss. when i confronted her about it (she is my friend by the way) she laughed and said they did do that, they thoguht it was funny and then said sorry. i geuss they think its funny becasue i disiinfect my desk and stuff every couple of days becaseu the kids we work wtih have very poor hygiene, i worke in a resdiential facility. anwywas do ppl agree that this is upsetting? or am i overreacting?

Jess

[Guhlia]

Jess, that is truely HORRIBLE. I would be so upset with your so-called "friend". That's just disrespectful and rude, not to mention unhealthy. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hope you feel better soon!

[penguin]

And that's when you tell your boss...that's absolutely ridiculous! I'm sorry that happened to you

[jesscarmel]

  Guhlia said:

Jess, that is truely HORRIBLE. I would be so upset with your so-called "friend". That's just disrespectful and rude, not to mention unhealthy. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Hope you feel better soon!

Thanks Angie! i know, i really thought we were friends. just this mornign she was asking me to come to her party tommorow night??!! then i wondered what if they put gluteny foods on my desk?? okay mabye that's paranoid but who knows? i am really mad and will probably have to confront her on monday because i am very angry about this!

[jerseyangel]

My gosh Jess, that's horrible. I can't believe a "friend" did that to you.

Overreacting? Not at all--they should be ashamed of themselves.

For once, I'm speechless--I'm sorry that it happened to you

[jesscarmel]

  penguin said:

And that's when you tell your boss...that's absolutely ridiculous! I'm sorry that happened to you

Hey Penguin!

i actually told my boss who is my good friend...also weird. i sort of work in a weird place and she thought it was mean but didnt really say anything. my fianccee is so upset and wants me to go to the director but i feel like i should confront her directly.

hope you are doing better than me! also we are getting oru dog tommorow so that should cheer me up!

[Guest ~jules~]

How completely immature is that! Why would someone go out of there way to make someone sick? I'm sorry you have to work with people like that, I would try to stay away from them if at all possible.

[jesscarmel]

  jerseyangel said:

My gosh Jess, that's horrible. I can't believe a "friend" did that to you.

Overreacting? Not at all--they should be ashamed of themselves.

For once, I'm speechless--I'm sorry that it happened to you

the weird thing is shes not a mean person so i cant figure it out. i know they think im really neurtoic about germs and sort of prissy which i admit to, but we are a very close knit team of six clinicians, we get together on the weekends sometimes so this is just really bizzare. i think she thought it wsa really funny and didnt think i would find out or be mad.

[penguin]

I'm good. I hope you get over the cold soon!

I would tell the director personally, it's something that needs to be taken seriously. Making you purposefully sick is definitely harrassment if not assault. Definitely unacceptable. Especially since your health is already comprimised because of celiac. It's truly unthinkable that someone, especially an adult, especially a friend, would do that. And what kind of counselors are they anyway, helping the kid do it?!

[Guhlia]

I agree with the others, you definitely need to have this type of behavior taken care of. It's just not fair that they did something like that to you, even if you wouldn't have gotten sick. As for the gluten thing, I don't think you're being paranoid at all. I would ask her directly if they've ever done anything like that w/ gluten and explain how very serious your illness is and that exposure could not only make you sick, but it could also contribute to life long health problems.

Argh... I'm fuming at just the thought of this.

[jesscarmel]

  Guhlia said:

I agree with the others, you definitely need to have this type of behavior taken care of. It's just not fair that they did something like that to you, even if you wouldn't have gotten sick. As for the gluten thing, I don't think you're being paranoid at all. I would ask her directly if they've ever done anything like that w/ gluten and explain how very serious your illness is and that exposure could not only make you sick, but it could also contribute to life long health problems.

Argh... I'm fuming at just the thought of this.

I know i really need to do something. im horrible at this stuff, confronting people. i'm alrady percieved as being dramatic so its hard for me when something really does need to be made a big deal of. i know my superiviosr, who is differnet from my director, will be furious about this and will go nuts so im not sure i should tell her or speak again to my director and not involve my superivisor. i feel like i want to lock my office now, i dont even have a key. we let all the kids go into each others office with clinicians cause we all have differnt toys. i have alot of toys so kids like to go in there, i would hate to have to lock it. also it is very clinically innapropriate to have a child do that and i know my sup would freak out about that, inolving a child in something innapropriate...

[Jestgar]

Maybe someone should freak out about this. Teaching this kind of behaviour to children is also inappropriate and a parent might find out about this sort of thing and shut you down.

[nikki182]

Wow, I can't believe there are people out there who would do something like that! You're not overreacting at all; what they did was downright rude. I'm sorry that you have to put up with people like that. I'd say it's also pretty irresponsible of someone to purposely spread germs in an area where little kids come in to play. Whether or not you decide to talk to your boss, I think you should confront the "friends". If you could tell them how serious it is that they purposely made you sick when you already have a compromised immune system, without being too emotional (though it will be hard since they were so rude), I think you can make them see that what they did was absolutely not funny like they think and that it was very disrespectful. What if she unknowingly had something worse than a cold and passed it on to you?

BTW, I think I'm going to go get some disinfectant spray. Now I'm paranoid...

[jerseyangel]

But Jess, the clinician *did* involve the child. Playing a "trick"--no matter how thoughtless or cruel--on a co-worker is one thing. But she crossed the line by involving the child.

In my mind, the Supervisor has good reason to 'freak out' about this. I'm the same way when it comes to confrontation, but in a case like this, I would definately have to say something.

[Ursa Major]

  jesscarmel said:

I know i really need to do something. im horrible at this stuff, confronting people. i'm alrady percieved as being dramatic so its hard for me when something really does need to be made a big deal of. i know my superiviosr, who is differnet from my director, will be furious about this and will go nuts so im not sure i should tell her or speak again to my director and not involve my superivisor. i feel like i want to lock my office now, i dont even have a key. we let all the kids go into each others office with clinicians cause we all have differnt toys. i have alot of toys so kids like to go in there, i would hate to have to lock it. also it is very clinically innapropriate to have a child do that and i know my sup would freak out about that, inolving a child in something innapropriate...

Jess, I agree, this is awful on many levels. For therapists to tell a kid to do something that would make somebody sick is inexcusable. It teaches the child that it is okay to play dangerous tricks on people, to keep secrets, to bully others (because it is a form of bullying) and other things I can't think of right now.

Your collegues were being mean spiritited, and it shows what they REALLY think about you, that they did that. After something like this I would have a hard time still thinking of them as friends.

I don't think it is too much to go to your supervisor about this. Since nobody else seems to see the seriousness of this behaviour, which means that it can happen again, you may need to go to her. As you say, she would be furious about what happened (rightfully so), and will hopefully make it extremely clear to everybody involved that there will be serious consequences if she ever hears of another incident like that.

I hope your new dog will help you feel better.

[jesscarmel]

i really appreciate everyone's support. i will deal with this on monday. i was in tears today so i just left. im sure i will end up crying on monday anyways....but at least ill have the weekend to cool down. sadly our kids dont ususally have parents but i agreee it is very concerning to teach this to a child, one who already engages in innapropriate behaviors and illegal ones! i knew i could count on people on this site to support me. im still in tears about it now, it just really makes me feel bad.

[chewymom]

this is wrong on several levels. first, that is harrassment or something--i mean, i would think that chick could get into legal trouble over a prank like that. and if you ended up needing a sick day due to illness, your company loses money.

second, i'm not sure what kind of facility you work in, but that is just not something you teach kids. it sounds like maybe you work with kids with special needs?? i have a son with down syndrome, and if i ever thought he was being taught that this kind of behavior was acceptable, i would be jumping down someone's throat over it!! it's hard enough to teach appropriate social and hygene skills--but to be taught totally inappropriate stuff--sheesh! okay, if this is totally not your situation, then pardon my little rant....

anyway, i would definitely go to the director or whoever is a high authority who will take this really seriously. that staff needs to be retrained about appropriate behavior.

[jesscarmel]

  chewymom said:

this is wrong on several levels. first, that is harrassment or something--i mean, i would think that chick could get into legal trouble over a prank like that. and if you ended up needing a sick day due to illness, your company loses money.

second, i'm not sure what kind of facility you work in, but that is just not something you teach kids. it sounds like maybe you work with kids with special needs?? i have a son with down syndrome, and if i ever thought he was being taught that this kind of behavior was acceptable, i would be jumping down someone's throat over it!! it's hard enough to teach appropriate social and hygene skills--but to be taught totally inappropriate stuff--sheesh! okay, if this is totally not your situation, then pardon my little rant....

anyway, i would definitely go to the director or whoever is a high authority who will take this really seriously. that staff needs to be retrained about appropriate behavior.

we mostly work with children who have been abused who are diagnosed with mental illness but we do have special needs children with aspergers, pervasive developmental disorder etc.... if i were a mom and my kid was taught that i would defintly be very upset

[plantime]

Your colleague purposely exposed you to a germ that was known to make people sick. That is a form of bio-terrorism. Your colleague also used a minor to do that. That is child abuse. For that, your colleague should be in jail. Go to your supervisor, before you become an accessory after the fact to the abuse.

[chrissy]

when your supervisor deals with this situation, i think that the child also needs to be involved. not for the child to get in trouble, but for the child to know that what the therapist told him to do was wrong and that she is being reprimanded for it. it sounds like these kids have seen some adults do some really bad things in their lives------wouldn't it be good for this boy to learn that "naughty" adults have consequences too?

obviously, this gal thinks you are rediculous for disinfecting things,(obviously you aren't) so this was her way of making fun of you. will she make fun of the children in the same way if she thinks their actions or ideas are ridiculous?

[Judyin Philly]

  jerseyangel said:

But Jess, the clinician *did* involve the child. Playing a "trick"--no matter how thoughtless or cruel--on a co-worker is one thing. But she crossed the line by involving the child.

In my mind, the Supervisor has good reason to 'freak out' about this. I'm the same way when it comes to confrontation, but in a case like this, I would definately have to say something.

Jess hope you and Patti don't mind me quoting her as I'm beat tonight and agree with all others said but Patti addressed this main issue as I see it..as an educator for 18 years, this is appaling..on so many levels.

the 3 of us all hate confrontation but in this case and with these impressionable children i do not think in good consious you can ignore this. I feel you must report this person..she sure isn't a mature friend at all.

very very poor judgement should be addressed. Hope the parents don't find out about it.. heads should roll.

Judy in Philly (please over look spelling errors to tired to find my spelling cheat book)

[lindalee]

Jess, So sorry that happened to you. The friend was not acting like a friend and not acting like a responsible adult. She needs to be told that type of behavior is not the way a professional acts. Hopefully your leader will handle her. Treat yourself extra good this weekend. You deserve it. LL

[Guest ~jules~]

I was reading a post here where you were worried about how they might percieve you as prissy for being careful about germs. I do the same thing all over my house. I spray the doorknobs, toilet seat, well you name it all the time, and the computer desk is a biggie. People eat there and are constantly touching it, plus I heard on the news that more germs were found at someones computer workstation than on the toilet seat! So in my opinion you are just being smart, and trying to stay healthy. I'll say it again I think it is very immature and mean to intentionally hack your germs on someones things, I would deffinetly say something.

[skbird]

That is unfreakinbelieveable. I'm really sorry that happened to you.

I'm disgusted.

Stephanie

[ravenwoodglass]

I can not believe that someone like that is allowed to work with children. Frankly this person needs to lose their job IMHO. You definately need to let your supervisor know, but I would do it in Wed. after taking 2 days of sick time. I would report directly to the supervisor what made you sick when you call in Monday. Your 'freind' should cover your work for those two days. And go to anything that involves this person on a social level, never in a million years would I ever do that. How could you trust this person. As to the no lock on your door, well I would insist on one before I stepped back in that facility and I would make it very clear why.