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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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jerseyangel Proficient
Hehe travel THEN prep ;)

Thank goodness!


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Jestgar Rising Star
Hehe travel THEN prep ;)

:lol: :lol: I get so nervous about things that my travel WOULD be my prep!

Golden Globes? The sun and the moon? They have their own show? :blink:

Guys, I hate to break it to you, but you can see those just by walking outside...

curlyfries Contributor
Hehe travel THEN prep ;)

Will you be at Mayo during the prep?.......read, 'public bathrooms' :ph34r:

curlyfries Contributor
Golden Globes? The sun and the moon? They have their own show? :blink:

Guys, I hate to break it to you, but you can see those just by walking outside...

:lol:

I was thinking more along the lines of nude sunbathing! :P

jerseyangel Proficient

All this talk of preps, public bathrooms and travel is giving me the willies :o

jerseyangel Proficient
I was thinking more along the lines of nude sunbathing! :P

Me too B)

Jestgar Rising Star
:lol:

I was thinking more along the lines of nude sunbathing! :P

Did I tell you guys the story of the naked guy on my deck?


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tom Contributor
:lol: :lol: no, but I have a feeling we will soon, despite my STRICT instructions on this forum to NOT change yer av :P

really?? .. . . .hmm .. I don't remember that .. ..but I am due for a change.

P.S. M&Ms *do* come in bags smaller than 2 flippin' POUNDS!!!!! :wacko:

Will you be at Mayo during the prep?.......read, 'public bathrooms' :ph34r:

Gyah!! :ph34r: no no no .. ..@mom's housebathroom tomorrow, Mayo starts Tues.

curlyfries Contributor
Did I tell you guys the story of the naked guy on my deck?

Oooooh........do tell!

psawyer Proficient
Did I tell you guys the story of the naked guy on my deck?

No, but I expect that you will. :P

This is so old that it may be new again:

SAD NEWS (EXCEPT FOR CELIACS)

It is with a very sad heart that we must pas on the following news. Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. The rumour that hes was done in by a cereal killer is unfounded. His final words were either "It's been a slice" or "bite me", depending on who you talked to.

Doughboy was buried (laid to rest) in a lightly greased coffin topped by a grainy photo. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mr. Christie, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Snap, Crackle, Pop, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Mrs. Fields.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on cheesy, half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John and Jane Dough, plus one they had in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The whole family seemed a little glazed. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. Music by Jelly Roll Morton.

nikki-uk Enthusiast
The one farthest North is Nikki, with Jess in second place.

The one farthest East is also Nikki, with Bev in second place.

The one farthest South is Momma Goose. Sarah is next, but she hasn't been around much, so give an honoUrary second to Susie.

The one farthest West is Jess, with Tom in second place.

Nikki won twice. Hmmm

I did?? :unsure: .... well YIPEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

..and M the psilliest?.....I think we knew that :rolleyes:

Nikki being in the picture pulls the averages way off.

EVIL CACKLE :lol:

the Inner Sphincter Sanctum of the Secret Phorum......

I love that sentence :lol:

Preceded by tomorrow's day on the throne, once the colonoscopy prep kicks in

Uh - oh :(

The old '2 minute warning' drink :unsure:

this here is my 5,000th post

:o Got me wevvah proofs on just in case

All this talk of preps, public bathrooms and travel is giving me the willies :o

:lol::lol::lol: <sorry, easy amused this morn>

WHO is Jess's nekkid man on her deck????? :blink:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Morning All Sillies

We have some very very Pharigid air coming this week. On settlement day it is going to be a high of 15.....yikes! So we never got that snow storm so of course John was pretty down about that, and then his NY team lost to the eagles yesterday....it was not his weekend!

We got a lot of packing done over the weekend and now the days are really counting down, only 4 more to go!!!!

I have to train our new coworker this week....I am not having fun! She is very nice and she is catching on but all of my work is sitting and it gets boring for me...I know I sound terrible

elye Community Regular

Good Morning, Psillies!

Good luck at yer mom's today, Ptaoughmghmn....we'll be thinking of you... but not in any great detail.......gads. . . . . . .. :rolleyes:

We'll be waiting for updates as you sit in waiting room after waiting room at Mayo.

The whole idea of colonoscopy/endoscope/ANYscope images being used as avs sparks great interest in me as an artist.....some of the most beautiful visuals I've ever seen have been pics of various inner regions published in science mags.....hearts, lungs, sections of arteries. . . ....I was going to do a painting of an ultrasound that was done of Sophie quite late in my pregnancy, an incredible shot. Never happened, but I could still tackle it.

Ptaoughmghmn, you could email me a copy of your intestines/colon scan, and I could render a huge masterwork in oil for your living room. .. . . .. :huh::lol:

There are 24 members how made only one post in this thread. That number includes Scott (admin). Even he seems to have been kept away. :blink::unsure:

:lol::lol:

Nik! That weeing kitteh - - somefin' about his phace. . .. .....looks a little odd, out of sorts..... . .have you mentioned to him the cumpulsory castration if he stays?

:lol:

OMG!!!!!!!!!

this here is my 5,000th post

Whoooooa, Soooooze....!!!

Holy crap, you must run a verrrrrrrrry close second to me as Most-Poster in Psillyville.....forget how to check this and I'm too lazy to go back and read The Oracle's instructions.

I am the most phrequent babbler here??! Too phunee. . . . . . ... :lol::rolleyes:B)

Jestgar Rising Star

From me folks:

Diary of a Snow Shoveler

December 8,

6:00 PM

It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I

took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the

huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma

Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9

We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every

inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more

lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've

ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy

again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon

the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in

the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12

The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My

neighbor tells me not to worry - we'll definitely have a white

Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have

so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow

again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm

glad he's our neighbor.

December 14

Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to

-20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath

away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This

is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried

everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this

much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I

wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15

20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought

snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the

freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes

out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16

Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway

putting down salt. Hurt like hell! The wife laughed for

an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17

Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere.

Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to

stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to

irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't

admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe

I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20

Electricity i! s back on, but ha d another 14 inches of the damn

stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow

came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they

said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called

the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower

and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think

they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it

done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22

Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the

white crap fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt

till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to

shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed

and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who

has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says

he's too busy. I think the ass is lying.

December 23

Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted

me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she,

nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she

did but I think she's lying.

December 24

6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel.

Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a

b!tch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by

his croutonss and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he

hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and

then he comes down the street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow

all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing

Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy

watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25

Merry damn Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight -

Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate

the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation

and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a

bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "

It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into

the microwave.

December 26

Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER

idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27

Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after

14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace

all my pipes.

December 28

Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The B!TCH is driving me

crazy!!!

December 29

10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel t he roof or it could

cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he

think I am?

December 30

Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing

me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but

also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his a$$. The

wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31

I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8

Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving

me. Why am I tied to the bed?

Darn210 Enthusiast

Jess's snow diary . . . :lol::lol:

Just got off the phone wif the cable company . . . we are switching to DirectTV . . . cuz of many problems wif cable over the last couple of months. The customer service rep ends with the standard "Thank you for choosing <insert company name here>" . . . :lol::lol::lol: . . . guess she didn't remember I was UNchoosing them.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Who's been cheating and eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken? .......and why is their website www.kentuckyfriedcruelty.com...

:o I have heard of this site......but do not go there, is my advice :unsure: Tricky subterfuge, those google ads :huh:

Gyah!! :ph34r: no no no .. ..@mom's housebathroom tomorrow, Mayo starts Tues.

OMG - my 5,000 rollover results in massive phluids at Ptaum's mom's - - take COVER!!!!!!

Nik! That weeing kitteh - - somefin' about his phace. . .. .....looks a little odd, out of sorts..... . .have you mentioned to him the cumpulsory castration if he stays?

:lol: :lol: :lol: OMG I didn't notice her av until this - -

LUV the WEE KITTEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: and the LOLCATS caption *snort*

Em's HUGE OIL MASTERPIECE of Tom's Koe-lon :lol:

January 8

Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving

me. Why am I tied to the bed?

*snackle* :lol:

Darn210 Enthusiast

Tomn - Suezeigh owes you big time for taking her 5000th post fluid onslaught . . . hope things go well. Are you taking your sidekick wif you so you can give us up-to-minute reports over the next few days?

jerseyangel Proficient
Just got off the phone wif the cable company . . . we are switching to DirectTV . . . cuz of many problems wif cable over the last couple of months. The customer service rep ends with the standard "Thank you for choosing <insert company name here>" . . . :lol::lol::lol: . . . guess she didn't remember I was UNchoosing them.

Hee! We had DirectTV in Jersey. Loved it--wanted to have it here, but the internet part of the "bundle" wasn't available. The only thing to watch our fer is when you have a decent sized rainstorm, you could lose service for a little while. Other than that, I think you'll be very happy wif it :D

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
OMGawd Soozle--take cover immediately!! :o 5000 is a huge number!!

The Golden Globes are just wrapping up here--I only caught the last hour....had to watch Desparate Housewives :P

5000? how about 15000, Ms. Prolific? You better bubble wrap your house, baby!

JNBunnie1 Community Regular

What does it mean if you go to someone's profile and it says 'Banned' under their name? Does that mean they got kicked off the forum altogether?

Look, the year that Columbus sailed the ocean blue!

psawyer Proficient
What does it mean if you go to someone's profile and it says 'Banned' under their name? Does that mean they got kicked off the forum altogether?
Yes, that is exactly what it means.
JNBunnie1 Community Regular
Yes, that is exactly what it means.

Am I allowed to do a happy dance, or would that be in bad taste?

elye Community Regular
What does it mean if you go to someone's profile and it says 'Banned' under their name? Does that mean they got kicked off the forum altogether?

Yes, that is exactly what it means.

.....So not ALL information is kept within the virtual walls of the Inner Sphincter Sanctum .. ... . . ..

jerseyangel Proficient
.....So not ALL information is kept within the virtual walls of the Inner Sphincter Sanctum .. ... . . ..

We let just enough info out to whet yer appetite :lol: The Inner Sphincter gets kinda boring sometimes :P

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
The Inner Sphincter gets kinda boring sometimes :P

I won't tell if you won't......

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