The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Mtndog]

Hear, hear, Most HonoUrable Queen Bev of the Order of the Twirling Tassels!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I most humbly accept until page 300 and will sit on the throne in my Yeti proof house. The only things I will command my subjects to do are as follows:

drink mojitos

drink vodka

drink champagne (Moet and Chandon Nectar Imperial!)

trample on trampolines

twirl tassles with bawdy debauchery (or in the men's cases do something wiith your ball bearings)

no pap smears

no testicular exams

and...

KEEP LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love, Your loyal Queen Bev of the Order of the Twirling tassles

[DingoGirl]

I most humbly accept until page 300 and will sit on the throne in my Yeti proof house. The only things I will command my subjects to do are as follows:

drink mojitos

drink vodka

drink champagne (Moet and Chandon Nectar Imperial!)

trample on trampolines

twirl tassles with bawdy debauchery (or in the men's cases do something wiith your ball bearings)

no pap smears

no testicular exams

oh yes,

ALL HAIL GREAT LEADER!!!!!!!!!!!!

I happily accept the commands.

[Ridgewalker]

I most humbly accept until page 300 and will sit on the throne in my Yeti proof house. The only things I will command my subjects to do are as follows:

drink mojitos

drink vodka

drink champagne (Moet and Chandon Nectar Imperial!)

trample on trampolines

twirl tassles with bawdy debauchery (or in the men's cases do something wiith your ball bearings)

no pap smears

no testicular exams

and...

KEEP LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love, Your loyal Queen Bev of the Order of the Twirling tassles

She is a most generous and good matriarch, love of her country and her subjects quite evident in her recent decree...

-Sarah

[DingoGirl]

She is a most generous and good matriarch, love of her country and her subjects quite evident in her recent decree...

-Sarah

:lol:

yes, we are such fortunate subjects

[Mtndog]

I made my first troyal appearance today. You won't believe what happened!

Queen Bev visits a major hospital to open a new ward.

She is shown around first by a nurse so she can inspect the facilities.

On her way, she hears orgasmic groans coming from a nearby room.

She goes to the room to investigate and, upon arriving, finds that a man is masturbating on the bed.

She asks the nurse "Why is that man doing that?"

The nurse replies "Oh, he's got to relieve himself every so often because he has a disorder."

"Oh, OK then," Queen Bev said, and moved on, but on the way she hears more orgasmic groans.

She looks in the room and sees a nurse pleasuring a man.

Queen Bev asks her escort "Why is that nurse giving that man a ball bearing job?"

Her nurse escort says "Oh, he's got the same disorder as the man before, only this one's got health insurance!"

[elye]

Ahhh, the Kingdom doth prosper, and grow! Daughter of the Light, please come into our grand Processional Parade...I believe you would add much interest with your propensity for dancing. You could appear in the middle, performing your Danzon, or a merengue, which I noticed you mentioned in your last post. However, methinks you should be performing something more like a dirvish, as this all has a very Medieval feel to it. Hmmm....we could even have you on a large Carebear float, if you wish...

AND ALL HAIL OUR RIGHTEOUS QUEEN BEVERLY!

Nay to Papal Smeareths!

...and ALL balls bearing!

[Mtndog]

She is a most generous and good matriarch, love of her country and her subjects quite evident in her recent decree...

-Sarah

additions to said decree (stolen from Uncle ray):

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bas#@* who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9 This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;

"Because you are my friends."

[elye]

Your Highness, Queen Beverly! The great overseer of hospitals, et al: We MUST induct Uncle Ray into our Empire (Poet Laureate? Certainly Court Jester) and he must be the Commissioner of the parade.

I well remember the Altoids thread, but I didn't know a vehicle made it into the Rachelville thread. It should be LEADING this parade. In Fact, Queen Beverly must ride in the Altoidmobile, and all follow behind.

I've realized something...Sarah, your name means "Princess". Need we say more?

[DingoGirl]

Hmmm....we could even have you on a large Carebear float, if you wish...

AND ALL HAIL OUR RIGHTEOUS QUEEN BEVERLY!

Nay to Papal Smeareths!

...and ALL balls bearing!

YES!!! why, it makes MUCH more sense!! Altoid car has been a valued and vital transport many a time.....but - - a CAREBEAR float!!!! It's never been done, and it makes SO much sense! with dirvishes, danzons, megenques, and...machine guns?

Yes, I say, YES!!

gahhhhhhhhh

the 200 pages is just making us even nuttier.

[CarlaB]

the 200 pages is just making us even nuttier.

Yes, and since I've gone on another trip to herxville, I'm having a very hard time understanding it all!!!

[elye]

YES!!! why, it makes MUCH more sense!! - - a CAREBEAR float!!!! It's never been done, and it makes SO much sense!

I know, I know...It makes SO MUCH SENSE....How could no one have thought of any of this before?!

[Mtndog]

Yes, and since I've gone on another trip to herxville, I'm having a very hard time understanding it all!!!

The only thing you need to know is after your herx is over, we will hold a parade in which we shall all ride in the Altoidmobile!!!!!!!!!!!! :ph34r:

[tom]

Wow...this thread is developing into a palpable realm all its own...an empire with King, Queen, fifes, serfs and duchesses, many court jesters, (hmmmm...me....I could just be the slattern in the alehouse)....I think we should break into a huge virtual parade, with tassle-twirlers leading off, our Monarchs in fine livery, Lord Tom piping everyone in with his sax (could you manage something regal-sounding on a medieval hunting bugle, Lord Tom? Just for this event?) Tostito eaters and a fine yeti would bring up the rear. So regal...I wish we could parade all through Celiac.com! Just like the Santa Claus Parade, up and down all the threads and forums!!

<why didn't I keep that old band hat! You know the type >

WegetaparadeWegetaparadeWegetaparade!

Love the idea but I can't do it if ya put me by the Tostito eaters. I could tell you STORies!!

Health First, ya know.

And it's like that "peeing section of the pool" bit. In Calaveras, they found ambitious debris 5 FIVE ROWS AWAY!

But . .. . . . . .

Lord!?? LORD!???

M'lady! 'Tis worst of bad tidings to make-eth pre-appointment! :p34r:

T'will'i'n't thine 300th scroll precedeth annointment?

I'd predict a succession of queens.

Emily!! "slattern" . . .. .

Had to look it up .. .. . .

This one hurts more than the other 2.

Where do I send the plaque.

So now there's a tasselito?

[CarlaB]

The only thing you need to know is after your herx is over, we will hold a parade in which we shall all ride in the Altoidmobile!!!!!!!!!!!! :ph34r:

:lol:

Great, we'll pass out the Altoids to the MEN!!!

[tom]

"I call Shotgun in the CareBear Machine-gun Car!!"

<hey I passed Proficiency at Camp Elbow and front passenger gets the guns>

Me 'n a CBMGC go wayyyyyyyyy back . .. . .

<this isn't gonna be that new CBMGC w/ the MGSpice option is it? never trained on that>

[elye]

All right, all right...Lord Tom cannot be near the Tostito Eaters due to cross-contamination issues...And I realize that we also now have burritos somewhere in the fray...wait...you don't react to yeti meat? You see, we have one of those, so we'll just put you at the rear with him.

...Altoids to the men?...Hmmmm, what a concept. Methinks this Kingdom could become quite an interesting place to inhabit! Hey, if I'm the village wench, I'll be the one with all the Altoids!

[Mtndog]

All right, all right...Lord Tom cannot be near the Tostito Eaters due to cross-contamination issues...And I realize that we also now have burritos somewhere in the fray...wait...you don't react to yeti meat? You see, we have one of those, so we'll just put you at the rear with him.

...Altoids to the men?...Hmmmm, what a concept. Methinks this Kingdom could become quite an interesting place to inhabit! Hey, if I'm the village wench, I'll be the one with all the Altoids!

I crown thee Village Wench

OMG- Yeti Burritos (closest emoticon to licking your lips) YUMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Yeti will shovel off the roof of My Ice castle and THEN will make him into a burrito (sorry carla- this makes NO sense please disregard.

However, in the spirit of all things spooky, I found GORGEOUS photos of Open Original Shared Link

[tom]

So Sarah, can you eat a burrito in the parade because apparently the Tostitos aren't funny?

Got back in Phx this afternoon. Off plane; to restroom. I sure never expected to be paying such attn to the width of my stance.

Ohhhhhhhhhmagod . .. . .did I smell a curiously strong exhaust of burnt mint a block&ahalf upwind? That can only be the Altoids Car!!

So . . . .. . did everyone personally debunk the myth? Maybe a Designated Debunker?

What else? . . . . . Murph the Serph?

Yeti-wrangling? Ack! Don't remind me! ESPN2 had on Yeti-wrangling Regionals the WHOLE time I was at the airport!

And Carla? Can ya wax up & play the melodies? I'm hoping to do '3rd line' stuff.

My favorite stupid band joke:

"Yes, we do take requests, but we're gonna keep playing anyway."

[tom]

I most humbly accept until page 300 and will sit on the throne in my Yeti proof house. The only things I will command my subjects to do are as follows:

drink mojitos

drink vodka

drink champagne (Moet and Chandon Nectar Imperial!)

trample on trampolines

twirl tassles with bawdy debauchery (or in the men's cases do something wiith your ball bearings)

no pap smears

no testicular exams

Make it prostate, add Redbridge and your wish is my command!

[CarlaB]

Sorry, I can only play notes that fall on the staff ... not typically notes written for a flute player ... I really should forget to turn my mike on on Sundays, but that would drive the guy in the back balancing it all nuts!

Plus, I can't march and herx at the same time .... much less, march, herx, and play my picc.

[Ridgewalker]

Love the idea but I can't do it if ya put me by the Tostito eaters. I could tell you STORies!!

Health First, ya know.

And it's like that "peeing section of the pool" bit. In Calaveras, they found ambitious debris 5 FIVE ROWS AWAY!

Ok, ok, so Tostitos have been known to assume dangerous flight patterns around me, howevah- I assure you that the company of us Tostito Eaters is nothing like being in the peeing section of a pool, thank you very much!

-Sarah

[tom]

QB1!! "same disorder as the man before"

And another!! "Because you are my friends."

Question:

Are people misspelling 'baring?'

:lol:

Great, we'll pass out the Altoids to the MEN!!!

Hey! A little "lookin' out for #1" eh? Sounds like evidence of a fading herx.

[~alex~]

Sorry, I can only play notes that fall on the staff ... not typically notes written for a flute player

You play flute? So do I! I hadn't played much in the last year but recently got back into it. I was out of practice and had to put one of the corks back in because my pinky wasn't covering the hole. I have an Emerson that I brought in first year university that I saved up for sooooo long to buy and I cried pretty much the rest of the day for spending so much money. It was worth it though; playing flute (or any instrument) is a great hobby. I can't worry about other things when I'm playing flute -- it's a good escape. Okay, that's enough boring flute talk. Sorry!

[CarlaB]

Hey! A little "lookin' out for #1" eh? Sounds like evidence of a fading herx.

Nope, herx not fading .... just starting in fact.

[tom]

Plus, I can't march and herx at the same time .... much less, march, herx, and play my picc.

Pretty sure I saw an enactment of The Herx Provision.

Didn't Queen Bev the First make it a post-herx parade?

Edit P.S.

~alex~!! Another flute!

I play tenor sax mostly but I'll bring my guitar anyway. The guit just got freq flyer miles for the 1st time since ~'81 & I think it likes to travel.

You want melody or high harmonies?