The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[flourgirl]

OMG SILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have discovered, in our warehouse, the single grossest thing AND I am quite sure - the very source itself for every vile disease, virus, deadly infection....yes, even the evil swine flughue.......

It's our fetid string mops

:lol:

filthier, more disgusting things I have never seen

:gag::gag:vomit::gag::gag:

must stay away........will NEVER touch it..........

in fact I may surreptitiously throw them out, and never admit to it

I am feelin' the wackl, sills, I'm feelin' it

I myself have been know to do the old "presto-chango-magic-make-it-dis-appear-o"!! I firmly believe that this is within my rights with gross/disgusting paraphelia!!

Em.....hope it's a wonderful time for yous! Sounds like a good time. Prayers for your Dad, too.

Excitement for the day.....redheaded woodpeckers in the yard! They made a pass through last year. Wish I knew how to entice them to stay. Have already seen male hummingbirds, too.

Pah-tay......lucky you has a great number of different hummers to see down there. Some of them are so beautiful!! There are some great birding sites in Texas, especially during migrations.

Hey Juuuude! Don't forget to take breaks from your dungeon tortures! Hope you are doing all right with it all! I phorget......did you have a target date for the move?

Nite all......

[elye]

Good Morning, Psills!

Ah, what a stimulating, oh-so-very-literary evening last night was! POeter, your brother is one of the finest readers to whom I've listened - - infectiously animated, completely taken over by his story, anxious to bring it out to us. He obviously becomes completely involved in his work. . ... .. a real artist.

Well. . . . . the only problem was the venue. The Clocktower Pub is a lovely little establishment down by the canal, cosy and artsy. Rob's book-reading and signing was, unfortunately, in the basement - -too cosy. It must have been 80 F when we got our seats along the bar, and the temp progressively rose from there. By eight-thirty I knew I was going to have to get out of there, or take my clothes off .

So we waited in the looooonnnnng lineup after Rob finished reading from his excellent new book, as Jack bought one of his older books and wanted it signed. He was also prepared to get verification of Rob's dietary avoidance of mushrooms.

Well, we waited....and waited. . . ...and waited. We couldn't stay in the heat any longer. Rob was soaked in sweat, but kept signing and laughing. So, Jack didn't get his book signed, did not get to tell him about knowing you, his oracle brother. . . ...and did not have the opportunity to ask him if he has had the celiac blood panel run on himself.

There was a HUGE, gluten-filled birthday cake brought out for him, and we all sang robustly.

It was a great evening. The house white was a lovely Chilean. ...(Um, the wine, not the waiter). . . .......

Dad is getting prepped as I speak. . . . . ......will get news by lunchtime. .. . ...

[jerseyangel]

I came right on, Em, to get a report from last night. Darn the heat!

Sending thoughts and prayers to dad as we speak

[curlyfries]

Mornin peeps!

Last day of babysitting ISTEP! THEY ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!! ......deep breath..........I'm OK......... ........

.......STOP!......BE QUIET!..........SIT DOWN!........GAAAAAHHHH!!!........

tick.....tick.....tick......tick............That's time slowly ticking by.....or perhaps the time bomb in me 'ead.

Em..........if you'd taken yer clothes off, I bet ya coulda gotten everthin Jack wanted!

Hey.....where's MandaPanda been?

That darn Jyan-knit must be out spendin her profits!

[Judyin Philly]

morning

love the 'Em' report of last nite

good luck with dad

no target date for move

too much to do to even go there mentally--- but hoping mid late summer

who knows

can only do one hr at a time today

let us know about your Dad Em

[mimommy]

Dad is getting prepped as I speak. . . . . ......will get news by lunchtime. .. . ...

Sending thoughts and prayers to dad as we speak

Ditto

Good luck to him today!!! Will be thinking of you today.

Have to tell you all about yesterday. Walked stumbled out to kitchen for morning coffee and didn't have my contacts in yet. Felt something crawly on my cleavage when I reached for a mug, and it was a SPIDER! Crawling down me gown!! Ewwwwwwww.

Then, when I was at work I went to use the lav and my boss forgot to close the lid and I FELL IN the toilet EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

And for todays trick...guess we'll just have to see. I know I will be taking extra care to avoid the news at all costs, er else ye may be seein me on it next..."Suburban Mom goes Wackl under pressure~story live at 5"

Peace friends.

And Patty, your hair is GORGEOUS! it!

[curlyfries]

Ahhhhhh.......peace!

Got one kiddo taken away by the gestapo dean. What a difference! Now mebe they'll think twice before messin with Mrs. H !

Life is good

[curlyfries]

Have to tell you all about yesterday. Walked stumbled out to kitchen for morning coffee and didn't have my contacts in yet. Felt something crawly on my cleavage when I reached for a mug, and it was a SPIDER! Crawling down me gown!! Ewwwwwwww.

Then, when I was at work I went to use the lav and my boss forgot to close the lid and I FELL IN the toilet EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

Hand me a snake anytime, but KEEP THE SPIDERS AWAY!!!<shudder>

I usually involuntarily engage in toilet aerobics during those middle-o-the-nite-not-fully-awake-hafta-pee-before-I-burst-cuz-I've-been-tryin-to-ignore-it-for-2-hours events

[nikki-uk]

Late afternoon pholks,

EM, hope all goes well for your Dad

tick.....tick.....tick......tick............That's time slowly ticking by.....or perhaps the time bomb in me 'ead.

..wackl brain time bombs!

Then, when I was at work I went to use the lav and my boss forgot to close the lid and I FELL IN the toilet EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

OH RAEchulle!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have many discussions re: toilet protocol........ we are mostly OCD , and hover

Ahhhhhh.......peace!

Got one kiddo taken away by the gestapo dean. What a difference! Now mebe they'll think twice before messin with Mrs. H !

...am askeert of Mrs H, but also want her to work with DC

Well, bums!!!!!!!

When I rang the washing machine repair peeps I explained what was wrong (needed new door)...I begged 'Please don't send a man empty handed!...order it now pleeeeease'

Man turned up EMPTY HANDED (pointless call out).....it will take another 8 FLIPPIN' DAYS to get the door

....INCOMPETANT BUFFOONERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, his thumbs were reeeeal small AND he stunk of cigarettes

BOO HOO .... <whiney voice> I WANT A WASHER!!!!!!!

[DingoGirl]

Mornin peeps!

Last day of babysitting ISTEP! THEY ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!! ......deep breath..........I'm OK......... ........

.......STOP!......BE QUIET!..........SIT DOWN!........GAAAAAHHHH!!!........

Hang in there, Leesargh....almost over........just send 3/4 of them to the dean....and send the other ones home for the pandemic

and yes, you must THEN fly over the pond to deal with Nik's Devil Child, tout sweet.......

Have to tell you all about yesterday. Walked stumbled out to kitchen for morning coffee and didn't have my contacts in yet. Felt something crawly on my cleavage when I reached for a mug, and it was a SPIDER! Crawling down me gown!! Ewwwwwwww.

Then, when I was at work I went to use the lav and my boss forgot to close the lid and I FELL IN the toilet EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

And for todays trick...guess we'll just have to see. I know I will be taking extra care to avoid the news at all costs, er else ye may be seein me on it next..."Suburban Mom goes Wackl under pressure~story live at 5"

And Patty, your hair is GORGEOUS!

OMG - Mimms does TWO things in one day that involve two main phobias of mine.....

finding a spider on oneself or - in one's bed - - almost nothign more horrifying. Oh - except finding a large, winged insect on oneself.........like a big cicada...........or a cricket or a grasshopper (do they have wings? ) or.......a HUGE dive-bombing moth.....

or maybe a bat in one's hair - - or a bat in one's house (Jess and Em have stories about this, I believe)

I would die on the spot.

there are countries (and certain parts of THIS country) I will never visit due to the HUGE insects.....

falling into a nekkid toilet - actually touching the BOWL with one's arse - -

*GASP*

pure horror

and BTW - I don't think Padt's hair looks like that any more - she's in Texas - she gots BIG HAIR now (but lurvely photo, Padt)

Stay cool, today, Mimms, read that Chrysler IS filing bankruptcy....... such hard times........

When I rang the washing machine repair peeps I explained what was wrong (needed new door)...I begged 'Please don't send a man empty handed!...order it now pleeeeease'

Man turned up EMPTY HANDED (pointless call out).....it will take another 8 FLIPPIN' DAYS to get the door

....INCOMPETANT BUFFOONERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, his thumbs were reeeeal small AND he stunk of cigarettes

BOO HOO .... <whiney voice> I WANT A WASHER!!!!!!!

Oh Nikkels - -- this IS most unfortunate but.......somehow yer post is so funny, I snorted a little

a stinking, small-thumbed, empty-handed repairman.............BOLLOCKS!!!!!!!!!

EMMEL!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooooo disappointed about yer report of the hot room and the sweat and the not signing of the book and.......no questions from The Ripper.......... BOO!

Well, at least you got to hear him read his stuff - that part was good!

Prayer for your dad today.........

carry on sills!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Judyin Philly]

Late afternoon pholks,

EM, hope all goes well for your Dad

..wackl brain time bombs!

OH RAEchulle!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have many discussions re: toilet protocol........ we are mostly OCD , and hover

...am askeert of Mrs H, but also want her to work with DC

Well, bums!!!!!!!

When I rang the washing machine repair peeps I explained what was wrong (needed new door)...I begged 'Please don't send a man empty handed!...order it now pleeeeease'

Man turned up EMPTY HANDED (pointless call out).....it will take another 8 FLIPPIN' DAYS to get the door

....INCOMPETANT BUFFOONERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, his thumbs were reeeeal small AND he stunk of cigarettes

BOO HOO .... <whiney voice> I WANT A WASHER!!!!!!!

sorry to jus steal your post but you covered it all

thanks

who needs repeats.

been outside gathering trash and doing yard work clean up

need to start painting

Em hope to here good news about your Dad

Nikki sorry about your unproductive washer 'fix'

be back soon.

[jerseyangel]

it was a SPIDER! Crawling down me gown!! Ewwwwwwww.

Then, when I was at work I went to use the lav and my boss forgot to close the lid and I FELL IN the toilet EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

Good gawd woman!! What a morning Would phreak me out bigtime to have a spider (or any bug) crawling on me. <wildly screetchingface>

Also, his thumbs were reeeeal small AND he stunk of cigarettes

:lol: You poor thing, though--by next week they're gonna have to come find you under a pile of dirty clothes!

and BTW - I don't think Padt's hair looks like that any more - she's in Texas - she gots BIG HAIR now (but lurvely photo, Padt)

Sooz is right--that was from when I wore it relaxed. I'm kinda going with the humidity right now, but starting to miss the sleekness Am I ever happy wif me hair???? But thanks, Minimom

be back soon.

'Afternoon, Judith

Kinda lookin to see if there's any news on Emmel's dad....

[psawyer]

Just a quick fly-by. Rob has a link to some pictures from last night on Facebook, so Jack could have a peek if he wants. I think I see Em and Jack in three of them.

Nikki, what an annoyance.

[jerseyangel]

Nikki, what an annoyance.

Nik is awash in dirty clothes!! (get it? )

[nikki-uk]

Just a quick fly-by. Rob has a link to some pictures from last night on Facebook, so Jack could have a peek if he wants. I think I see Em and Jack in three of them.

Can we see them?? Is his profile private??

Nik is awash in dirty clothes!! (get it? )

AHHHhh PadTee!!

I can't even tell you how much washing we get through - crazee amounts.

T'is driving me mad .....Mummy shall be getting many bags to take home tomorrow

Al's going away on a school trip next week for a few nights and I NEED TO WASH some of his clothes <am rather horror struck at the thought of a launderette >

Is that Jean-itte still reading???

...got a HOT date wiv Simon Baker

[jerseyangel]

Al's going away on a school trip next week for a few nights and I NEED TO WASH some of his clothes <am rather horror struck at the thought of a launderette >

The one good thing about a launderette (or laundromat ) is that one can do many loads at once. Tis expensive, though--and a pain in the butt Plus you have to lug it all there and back home.

[DingoGirl]

Well Sills, I didn't win the $180 million lottery

so - am outside mowing the lawn, pulling weeks, about to do some windows........BOLLOCKS!!!!!!!!

contemplating the dreaded carpet shampoo...........just can't bring myself to do it.....

<you know how that one is - LEFT ALONE WITH ONE"S DINGO THOUGHTS - I just can NAE handle it without many, many fuzzies >

been outside gathering trash and doing yard work clean up

need to start painting

Judith - - so much productivity!!! stay strong

Hey - - did you guys know it really is TRUE that Shroomie is coming stateside for her vacation???

SHROOMIE - - you really IS going to Tahoe??????

Fantastic.......we are doing some type of trail work there at end of June......can we stay at yer house? I think there'll only be.........30 of us, or so (I'm not actually going, but may send the Weezel, as my boss has asked )

a text I just received from my boss, who is in jury selection:

"Well Ass Hat, if I am selected, you'll be off work for one to two weeks"

I told him to act even CRAZIER, adn to tell them he knew me and we were good friends *snort*

Sooz is right--that was from when I wore it relaxed. I'm kinda going with the humidity right now, but starting to miss the sleekness Am I ever happy wif me hair????

I think the answer is no.....I think we have similar hair.......adn I am NEVER happy with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *harrumph*

Just a quick fly-by. Rob has a link to some pictures from last night on Facebook, so Jack could have a peek if he wants. I think I see Em and Jack in three of them.

'

oh, that's exciting!!!!!!!!!!! they're kinda famous now!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nik is awash in dirty clothes!! (get it?

*snort* I DO get it, psilly Lady

back outside.......I was just SURE I'd win the millions............argh!!!!!!!!!!

[elye]

I'm due to call my mom again fer an update.....but we DO know that the surgery happened, finished at around 11:30, and HE MADE IT.

Dunno if it was completely successful, but right now I do not care.

We have many discussions re: toilet protocol........ we are mostly OCD , and hover

Rayechull! You may check back for my flowcharts on hover technique....probably around page 500 or so. . . . .....

Also, his thumbs were reeeeal small AND he stunk of cigarettes

Dear gawd.... . . . . . ....I'm just trying to decide which would be worse -- having a spider crawling on me, or this bloke. . . . . ..

and BTW - I don't think Padt's hair looks like that any more - she's in Texas - she gots BIG HAIR now (but lurvely photo, Padt)

Pahteee! We wanna see yer BIG, TEX-ASS hair!! On a very humid day. . . ...!!

Just a quick fly-by. Rob has a link to some pictures from last night on Facebook, so Jack could have a peek if he wants. I think I see Em and Jack in three of them.

OMG. . . . . ..... . . . . Do I look....hot and sweaty?? Drunk?.... lord, did not know I would be caught on film and thrown up onto the internet. .. . .What in hell was I wearing?. . . ...Think I had food on me face.....certainly NO lipstick.....gads. . . . ..

[jerseyangel]

Well Sills, I didn't win the $180 million lottery

Well poopy cow! And this also means no silly (re)union anytime soon......

I'm due to call my mom again fer an update.....but we DO know that the surgery happened, finished at around 11:30, and HE MADE IT.

Bestest news of the day!!

And you do NOT want to see me big Tex-ass hair........believe me on that one

[jerseyangel]

Sillies.....(annoying whinny voice)

I'm bored.....WIH IS everybody????

[mushroom]

Hand me a snake anytime, but KEEP THE SPIDERS AWAY!!!<shudder>

Me too!! in fact, anything with many legs and is shorter than one inch gives me heebe jeebees big time. However, probly still take the snake (even in the toilet) if t'wasn't ON mee!]. Cockroaches in our apt. in Germany, two inches long and hiding under dishwashing sponge and other sneaky places had me runnin' for the door, almost went over the upstairs balcony once

I usually involuntarily engage in toilet aerobics during those middle-o-the-nite-not-fully-awake-hafta-pee-before-I-burst-cuz-I've-been-tryin-to-ignore-it-for-2-hours events

Got that one solved; when we built the house had them put urinal (pronounced you-RINE-al in good British voice) in de ensuite to avoid such shocking events. Dh had to think up other ways to git me, like leaving sandals in me track from bed-loo.

Well, bums!!!!!!!

Man turned up EMPTY HANDED (pointless call out).....it will take another 8 FLIPPIN' DAYS to get the door

....INCOMPETANT BUFFOONERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whatever happened to "Customer is always right"? Life has degenerated to customer is silly, stupid little WOMAN, has no idea what's wrong with her washer, will have to go straighten her out (wif me little thumbs). Repairmen is getting to be like doctors (only smellier)

Spent yesterday afternoon shouting at an old lady I visit (mother of my late best friend) whose hearing aid was out for repairs; GAWD, she really is deaf as a post. Thank God she likes to talk -and talk, and talk- so I phinally phiguredI could just sit there with this sweet smile and nod in affirmation every now and again, or frown, and move my lips occasionally cos she couldn't tell if I was talking or not. She had a good time

Gotta get going cos today my housesitter arrives (no, not to housesit--she had nowhere to go this month so she is going to stay in our unit out the back for most of the next month until we leave and I have to fix it up for her). Good deal, she stays free and does gardening for me. With my back and hands the last year the garden has suffered (garden, you call that a garden?? What are those things growing there? Them's weeds, me friends, millions of 'em, everywhere; some of 'em I don't even know what they are, heck they could be exotic arboreal specimens for all I know, I get stuff volunteering all the time, cabbage trees (yeah, really, look it up (cordyline), took me a long while to figure out what they looked like as babies!) and oodles of stuff with Maori names I nae can pronounce adequately let alone spell, and lots of pitysporums which are nice in the right place but not smack dab in the middle of a leucodendron. Anyways, thank goodness Barb knows 'bout such things and has a strong back and a willing heart so she will help me out and I will treat her real good because my garden has been driving me CRAAZEE!

Em. just see your dad is out of surgery; hope everything is hunky dory (wub).

[nikki-uk]

I'm due to call my mom again fer an update.....but we DO know that the surgery happened, finished at around 11:30, and HE MADE IT.

Dunno if it was completely successful, but right now I do not care.

Best news today!!!!!!

Padtea's Tex-ass hair

GAWD!! I can nae imagine HOW big my hair would get ..... how wide are your doorways Paddeigh???

SOOZE!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't win the lottery either

LOL @ yer boss calling you ass hat !!!!

Away to me bed

[jerseyangel]

GAWD!! I can nae imagine HOW big my hair would get ..... how wide are your doorways Paddeigh???

I bet the two of us together couldn't our 'eads through a doorway at the same time

The humidity here is unreal--and it's only April

[psawyer]

Can we see them?? Is his profile private??

I don't know if you can see them. Rob posted a link to his friend's album Open Original Shared Link

I also put a link in my profile on FB--you may be able to find them that way.

OMG. . . . . ..... . . . . Do I look....hot and sweaty?? Drunk?.... lord, did not know I would be caught on film and thrown up onto the internet. .. . .What in hell was I wearing?. . . ...Think I had food on me face.....certainly NO lipstick.....gads. . . . ..

I think the ones you might be in were quite early on, so no sweat. Royal blue sumfin, and the Ripper in a reddish shirt? Look into the crowd in pics 1 through 3.

Good news on your dad.

[jerseyangel]

I don't know if you can see them. Rob posted a link to his friend's album Open Original Shared Link

I think the ones you might be in were quite early on, so no sweat. Royal blue sumfin, and the Ripper in a reddish shirt? Look into the crowd in pics 1 through 3.

Good news on your dad.

OMG!! I can SO see Em and The Ripper in pic #2, especially!!!!!

Thanks fer those, PeOter--yer brother looks very cool, calm, and collected. You'd never know by the pics that it was so hot there!