Jump to content
This site uses cookies. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. More Info... ×
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

CarlaB Enthusiast
Carla, I'll have an extra one for you tonight

Thank you, I knew I could count on you.


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Daughter-of-TheLight Apprentice

And listening to a mix of disney songs, Relient k, Wicked (the musical) and DC-Reto! ^^

elye Community Regular
I'm on my THIRD load of laundry... with ONE to go! *groan* I'm running back and forth between the washing machine trying to keep up...

Four loads of laundry! Goodness, Daughter...and no little kids. What happened, didja get a mighty glutening? :o:lol:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

While you were all busy I was at the courthouse getting my marriage license!!!!!

Jestgar Rising Star
While you were all busy I was at the courthouse getting my marriage license!!!!!

Thank heavens SOMEONE accomplished something today

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Phosphoric acid...caramel color...high frustose corn syrup...cocaine...bubbles that's all i can remember

Knew I could count on you. ;) Must have been teh bubbles.

FEELS like an MSG reaction. Bugger.

warning: contains pictures of underpants

Well, clearly I"ll have to get a boyfriend so I can get me some of those bras. :lol:

I prefer Light. I got that nickname on the NeoBoards and like it a lot. (My username was lightinthedarkness. I WAS gonna use it here, but w/e...) And I don't expect anyone to type the whole thing out! I don't even do it...

But can't we call you by your REAL name? or see your picture? how do we even KNOW you're a teenaged girl, and not some fat middle-aged man in Intercourse, Pennsylvania? :huh: (or was that New Jersey?)

p.s. I have a recipe for homemade marshmallows, SUPER EEEZY to make, that will make you swoon! ;)

Light, just had myself a bowl of marshmallows. Actually, its minimarshmallows, with milk chocolate chips, nuked for about 20 seconds, then throw some (gluten-free) crsipy rice cereal on top and eat with a spoon. It's a cross between a rice crispy treat and a s'more in a bowl. Mmmmmm . . . and I don't share!

:( stop it.......am not allowed a single, stinkin' treat these days! :angry: But, did get into several pairs of jeans. a good sign. :)

No . . . I don't think so :huh: . . . not enough support ;):lol: .

Speaking of support.....I walked into a lingerie store after lunch and said....I DEFY you to find a bra that fits me. "what size?" the hapless salesgirl asked brightly. "Thirty-eight A, with NO underwire and NO padding. They're fine on their own, thank you."

:huh: <---- and THAT's the standard look I receive.

It's an outrage, I tell you, AN OUTRAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to have my own bra company, called Flattie Flats ("we're small but perky and proud of it!!" is our catchphrase) and make simple, beautiful cotton bras for people who don't naturally have or pay for breasts. harrumph!

Well, although it's nice to have moral support . . . it's just not enough to keep the girls in their proper position. :D

<_<

so pissed off......I WANT SOME!!!!!!!!!!!! (big boobs)

Carla, I'll have an extra one for you tonight

me too! at an Ethiopian restaurant....:huh (in Fresno? shouldn't last long)

While you were all busy I was at the courthouse getting my marriage license!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :wub:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

I am down to 20 days!!! I am get very excited :):)


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



Darn210 Enthusiast
:( stop it.......am not allowed a single, stinkin' treat these days! :angry: But, did get into several pairs of jeans. a good sign. :)

Yeah, me too, they were a size bigger than this time last year, though . . . that's what marshmallows do to you. ;)

<_<

so pissed off......I WANT SOME!!!!!!!!!!!! (big boobs)

Too Much is not good either. I can't find a swim suit that I don't burst out of . . . not the image I want . . . doesn't go with the rest of the over 40, had two kids, eat too many marshmallows body. And I DON'T WANT a striped top on the tankini in order to appear bigger!!

Time for a new av from my son. No we are not in the middle of a roll-over. Just the angle he took.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Time for a new av from my son. No we are not in the middle of a roll-over. Just the angle he took.

:lol: future film director, I am telling you. Encourage the madness, he'll do well. :P

elye Community Regular

Well, speaking of boobs:

What's the most popular size of brassiere in a nursing home?

38 long. :lol:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Well, speaking of boobs:

What's the most popular size of brassiere in a nursing home?

38 long. :lol:

:lol: :lol:

one thing about the small breasts - no sagging. :P

But I am SOOOOOO gettin' me some fake ones. ;)

CarlaB Enthusiast
While you were all busy I was at the courthouse getting my marriage license!!!!!

YAY!

Well, clearly I"ll have to get a boyfriend so I can get me some of those bras. :lol:

I thought you had one. :huh:

But can't we call you by your REAL name? or see your picture? how do we even KNOW you're a teenaged girl, and not some fat middle-aged man in Intercourse, Pennsylvania? :huh: (or was that New Jersey?)

She's a teenage, homeschooled girl, for heaven's sake, she's doing four loads of laundry! That's nothing in a homeschool household because they always have lots of kids!

How many brothers and sisters do you have Light?

:( stop it.......am not allowed a single, stinkin' treat these days! :angry: But, did get into several pairs of jeans. a good sign. :)

My jeans are all falling off again ....

me too! at an Ethiopian restaurant....:huh (in Fresno? shouldn't last long)

Thanks. We ate here tonight .... Open Original Shared Link

Green12 Enthusiast
Well, speaking of boobs:

What's the most popular size of brassiere in a nursing home?

38 long. :lol:

:lol::lol:

one thing about the small breasts - no sagging.

see, defying gravity :lol:

But I am SOOOOOO gettin' me some fake ones.

NOOOooooooo! We are going to be a planet of the big boobed one of these days, nothing but big boobs everywhere you turn.

Balance in everything, even boobs. We need a variety of sizes imo.

Darn210 Enthusiast
Well, speaking of boobs:

I thought the next line was going to be:

Where's Tom?

:lol::lol:

Sorry Tom, it wasn't me . . . Emily started it. :rolleyes:

elye Community Regular
I thought the next line was going to be:

Where's Tom?

:lol::lol:

Sorry Tom, it wasn't me . . . Emily started it. :rolleyes:

Oh, dear...Tom isn't one of those Men With Boobs, is he? Forget the clinical name...a male with excessive estrogen. A Mestrogen? If this is the case, Lord (...or Lady? Laddie?) Tom should absolutely lead this parade, as it seems to be taking on an air of sexual ambivalence...MJ, Chuck, and I've always wondered about Charlton and his obsession with tough-man leading roles and ever-so manly firearms. We could have a holiday declared on the parade launch, and subsidies from various human rights groups if we play this right... :D

CarlaB Enthusiast
Oh, dear...Tom isn't one of those Men With Boobs, is he?

No, Tom doesn't have big boobs, he IS a big boob!

Here's an old one I found:

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, but she eventually says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!?"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend more time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Let's get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you - she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear. Let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either - but at least that witch knows I'm smarter than her.

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

No, Tom doesn't have big boobs, he IS a big boob!

hehe

CarlaB Enthusiast
No, Tom doesn't have big boobs, he IS a big boob!

hehe

I already said that ... with the same emphasis! :lol:

tom Contributor
I thought the next line was going to be:

Where's Tom?

:lol::lol:

Sorry Tom, it wasn't me . . . Emily started it. :rolleyes:

:lol: :lol: another time I'm glad I wasn't drinking while reading. :lol:

( . . . .sure seems like it was you! )

:lol::D

OK, a little backtracking now, but w/out using the forum's quoting. I've gotten impatient w/ waiting for all the pageloads on this phone, not that I love it any less, just that I have more to do now - VERY unlike June/July.

Jess - "'let the yeti lead' he muttered " etc

LMAO! :lol: Well done!

Richard - "But is the Yeti good with map and compass? "

It's a whiteout blizzard!! Maps are useless when we can't even see the big furry paw in front of our face. :P

Jess - poem #2 !! :lol:

"Hey! Who ate Chuck Heston's goat?"

"YOWIE!" "YOWIE!"

:lol:

"Hey! It is NOT a costume"

(Again, tom happy to have not been drinking while reading)

Amanda!! Yay for the license!! :):D:)

P.S. Carla/Amanda - looks to me like Amanda MEANT to quote Carla, but it came out looking like her own post. :huh:

And Carla you really don't need the word "big" in the sentence "No, Tom doesn't have big boobs, he IS a big boob!" :lol:

You can simply leave it unqualified and lose none of the truth in it.

No boobs at all for me, thank you. Not medium, not big, not small. :P

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
I already said that ... with the same emphasis! :lol:

I was laughing at your comment, it wouldnt let me quote you, silly computer :)

Green12 Enthusiast
I was laughing at your comment, it wouldnt let me quote you, silly computer :)

...or maybe silly board :lol: It seems to be doing strange things for me the last couple of days, like double posts and something about flooding....

nikki-uk Enthusiast
'let the yeti lead' he muttered

'lest the b@strds best the steed'

'boasting bastions, crumbling creed'

'brethren,let the yeti lead'

'let the yeti lead!' he pleaded

'swiftest flight on furry feet!'

'flights of fancy fear our fleet!'

'fathers, let the yeti lead!'

'let the yeti lead' he sighed

'sorrows swim in snowy climes'

'sadness swiftly, surely climbs'

'mothers, let the yeti lead'

'let the yeti lead' he whispered

'morning comes with frightening speed'

'fields strewn with deadly wheat'

'lie in wait to snare the chymes'

'sillies, let the yeti lead'

Oh FANTASTIC!!!!!! I LOVE IT !!!!!! :lol:

We MUST try and get it published (all proceeds going towards 'the silly parade')

Daughter-of-TheLight Apprentice
Four loads of laundry! Goodness, Daughter...and no little kids. What happened, didja get a mighty glutening? :o:lol:

No, I have a mom and a dad and a little brother that IN-SISTS on getting himself dirty 50-billion times a day. He just broke his ankle... (NOOO!!! HE'S STUCK INSIDE THE HOUSE!! SOMEONE SAVE ME!!)

Daughter-of-TheLight Apprentice
But can't we call you by your REAL name? or see your picture? how do we even KNOW you're a teenaged girl, and not some fat middle-aged man in Intercourse, Pennsylvania? :huh: (or was that New Jersey?)

Um... you can't call me by my real name or see my picture becuase my mom doesn't want me getting stalked. How do you know I'm a teenaged girl? Well, for starters, If I WAS a middle-aged man I would probably give a fake name and a fake pic. SO there. And I'm from Florida, for starters... (Hey, I had to pick one fact, and that was it.) But.... if you REALLY want to call me by my real name... *mutters something about stupidity and how mom will ground me till i'm 18 if she finds out* ... It's Katie. And that's about all i'm giving away.

Daughter-of-TheLight Apprentice

She's a teenage, homeschooled girl, for heaven's sake, she's doing four loads of laundry! That's nothing in a homeschool household because they always have lots of kids!

How many brothers and sisters do you have Light?

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      127,465
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    AngelaFaith
    Newest Member
    AngelaFaith
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121k
    • Total Posts
      70.2k

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • jimmydee
    • robingfellow
      The Celebrity brand Luncheon Loaf (found at dollar tree, distributed by Atalanta Corporation) is gluten free according to the distributor. I emailed their customer service line for information on the ingredients, and they contacted the vendor and followed up with me that the "starch" ingredient I was worried about is corn and potato. It should be safe.
    • trents
      Welcome to the forum, @jimmydee! Celiac disease is an autoimmune disorder, meaning the consumption of gluten triggers a response by the immune system that causes the body to attack it's own tissue. Celiac disease has a genetic base that requires some kind of trigger for the genes to be turned on. We know that there are two primary genes responsible for providing the potential to develop celiac disease and we know that about 40% of the population carries one or both of these genes. However, only about 1% of the population actually develops celiac disease. So, that tells us that something more than just having the genes is necessary in order to develop celiac disease. Something must trigger those genes to wake up and produce the active disease. It's that "something" that we are struggling to understand and that is somewhat of a mystery. But there is a growing body of evidence pointing to the culprit being a disruption of the proper balance of microorganisms in the gut. Apparently, the microorganisms that live in our intestines produce chemicals that regulate the size of the openings in the mucous lining of our small bowel. A disruption in the healthy balance of this microorganic community causes an increase in the size of the openings in the mucous lining. This in turn allows protein fragments from the food we eat that are larger than normal to invade the mucous lining where they are detected as threats by the immune system. This is what is happening with gluten for those with celiac disease. The attack in the mucous lining of the small bowel by the immune system on these incompletely broken down gluten components causes inflammation and, over time, as we continue to consume gluten, it damages the mucosal lining of the small bowel which results in the loss of efficiency of nutrient absorption. This mucosal lining is made up of millions of tiny finger like projections that create an enormous surface area for the absorption of nutrients when healthy. The "wearing down" of these millions of finger-like projections due to celiac inflammation greatly reduces the surface area and thus the ability to absorb nutrients. This in turn typically results in numerous health issues that have a nutrient deficiency base. But the answer to the question of why there seems to be an epidemic of celiac disease in recent years may not be simple. It may have many facets. First, we don't know how much of this epidemic is real and how much is apparent. That is, how much of what we perceive of as a dramatic increase in the incidence of celiac disease is simply due to greater awareness and better detection methods? Celiac disease is not new. There is evidence from ancient writings that people suffered from it back then but they did not have a name for it. And it wasn't until WW2 that gluten was identified as the cause of celiac disease. Current thinking on what is causing imbalance in gut biology has put forth a number of causes including overuse of antibiotics and pesticides, environmental toxins, fluoridation of drinking water, preoccupation with hygiene and sanitation, and the western diet. https://www.celiac.com/celiac-disease/theories-on-the-growing-prevalence-of-celiac-disease-and-gluten-sensitivity-over-the-last-half-century-video-r6716/?tab=comments#comment-25345 All this to say that I doubt your UTI or the low dose aspirin had anything to do with the onset of your celiac disease. It was probably just coincidence unless the UTI was the stress trigger that activated the celiac potential genes. The onset of celiac disease an happen at any stage of life and many people report it following a period of illness. But what is interesting about your low dose aspirin theory is that aspirin is in a class of medications known as NSAIDs (Non Steroidal Anti Inflammatory Drugs). Scientific studies have shown that long term use of NSAIDs can damage the villous lining of the small bowel in the same way as celiac disease.  The other thing I wish to point out is that unless you have actual testing done for celiac disease, you can't be sure if you have celiac disease or NCGS (Non Celiac Gluten Sensitivity). They share many of the same symptoms, the difference being that NCGS doesn't damage the lining of the small bowel. There is no test for NCGS, celiac disease must first be ruled out. NCGS is 10x more common than celiac disease. The antidote for both is a gluten free diet.
    • julie falco
      BRAND NAME: NOT BURGER PLANT-BASED PATTIES  A product I came across labeled gluten-free bought it when I got home I read the back ingredients further to notice that it says gluten with a line going through it u will see in the attached pics.     The label says down below that it is processed in a facility that also processes "WHEAT".  I tried to put this on the Gov. website as false advertisement but couldn't do it.  Maybe on here at least the word can get out to others not to purchase anything gluten-free without throughly reading the whole label....It won't let me upload 2 pics.  says to contact manager.   The products name is Not Burger    INGREDIENTS: Water, Pea Protein, Coconut Oil, Sunflower Oil, Natural Flavors, Bamboo Fiber, Less than 2% of: Methylcellulose, Dried Yeast, Rice Protein, Salt, Cocoa Powder Processed with Alkali, Psyllium Husk, Potato Fiber, Red Beet Juice Powder (color), Chia Protein Concentrate, Spinach Powder.   Manufactured in a facility that also processes wheat and soy.          MANUFACTURED FOR: The NotCompany, Inc, 438    Treat Avenue, San Francisco, CA 94110.
    • jimmydee
      Let me start by saying that I am self- diagnosed Celiac. I didn't want to pay for tests, because I don't have health insurance and the doctor said I would HAVE to eat gluten for the tests and I am afraid it will kill me. I diagnosed myself by quitting dairy, sugar and gluten for a couple weeks and figured out the problem by process of elimination.  ANYWAYS.......here's why I blame "Aspirin low dose safety coated" for my Celiac Disease.  I started taking regular Aspirin for a couple weeks for back pain and decided to switch to low dose safety coated Aspirin because I thought a smaller dose was safer for regular use. Well about 3 days after starting low dose safety coated aspirin, I got a terrible UTI. I didn't know what to do (should have gone to doctor) I started taking cranberry pills and read Aspirin can cause UTIs, so stopped taking that. A week later, the UTI was getting worse but then my Dad gave me some probiotic pills and the next day I felt better, so I took those for a week and the UTI was gone. About a week later, I bought my family cake and pizza for a birthday party. I ate a whole bunch and there was some leftover the next day, so I ate a bunch again. Welp, that was my first Gluten attack. I was home alone and almost called an ambulance, my stomach was so full of gas I couldn't breathe, I was covered in sweat and thought I was having a heart attack.  Since quitting Gluten I haven't had the "gas attacks" or had the awful constipation that lasts 3 days. So I'm certain I'm Celiac and I absolutely blame low dose safety coated Aspirin, I think it's the time release binder that is the problem, because I was fine with regular aspirin, I was just breaking those into halves or quarters. Actually now that I think about it I may have even used the regular aspirin at other times in my life before that, just not the little low dose safety coated Aspirin, that's what I think caused it. What's weird is my Dad took the low dose safety coated Aspirin for years and years, for it's reported heart benefits, and he never got Celiac.  Anyways, I felt this was important to share, so they can find the cause of this disease, which seems to be affecting more people than ever before. At least Gluten Free Pizza exists, that's been my new staple food in my diet.         
×
×
  • Create New...