The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[nikki-uk]

A possibility fer The Ripper's next care package??

Open Original Shared Link

GAH!!...we must courier them toot sweet!!! .....every millimetRE counts!!!

[Jestgar]

I want some. D'ya think they'd work in tennies trainers?

[jerseyangel]

I want some. D'ya think they'd work in tennies trainers?

I could use some o'those meselph--I'd be at me ideal weight if I was 6 feet tall

[elye]

A possibility fer The Ripper's next care package??

Open Original Shared Link

OMG.. . . . . ....MUST COURIER THEM IS RIGHT!! Every......millimetre.....counts.......

I have actually printed off this ad and I have it ready to take to the counsellors when we go to pick him up on Sunday - - need to make them aware of the kinds of cheating tools available these days for the New-Naming Proceedures.. ... . ...

I must ask why they decided to use height as the deciding factor for the code names.

Why didn't they rank them by birthday months? Or nose size, in descending order? Or by the most attractive mother, followed by the next most attractive, etcetera?

Crap.......J10 must be one weeeeeeeee kid, if Jack is J3.... . ... . ..

[Judyin Philly]

MORNING PSILLIES!!!!!!!!!

There are many types of spinning!!

A gal wiv a plan!!! .... Joodee, it will be a well earnt rest when you get there!!

AWWWww - I'd also would have loved to have 'im

Hope the new home happens for him

Mornin', Psillies!

Wow, we are getting a week's stretch of oppressive heat and sun.......no rain........unbelievable. I think I've forgotten what that is like. . . .....

((((((gasp))))). . .. . . . ....WELL?? Why not?? Amanda, how far ARE you from Jooooodie? I forget where your new house is... . ......close to your last place, methinks...... . ....and not that far from Jooodie's! Gah! Yes, Velcro could be dropped off on the way outta town (or even if it's NOT on the way)!

There! I've planned everything! Amanda, we all want you to be the loving new owner of our Velcro.. . . .... . .!

Got another letter from J 3 (the 3rd tallest of all the Jack-derivatives, so this is his camp moniker) ... ... . ..One of the boys snores like a jet engine throughout the night, so Jack isn't sleeping. The offender isn't close enough for Jack to kick, so there's no easy answer. I said that smothering is not prudent. He is stuffing li'l wet wads of paper in his ears, and told me he was planning to stuff same (only considerably larger) in the offending lad's mouth. I'll wait to hear... .. ..

loved his solution

we all have to have plans..........let's see why was i up here?????? scratching my chin..........oh yes,,,,,,to read email to see if cat lady wrote back.

OMG Em!!! You are cracking me up with the Rippers Letters Making the work day better

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMAAAANNNDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

your ignoring me offer of me precious kitty?

[elye]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMAAAANNNDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

your ignoring me offer of me precious kitty?

Yah, Aaaaaaaaammmmmmaaaannnnnndddaaaaa........

[nikki-uk]

I must ask why they decided to use height as the deciding factor for the code names.

Why didn't they rank them by birthday months? Or nose size, in descending order? Or by the most attractive mother, followed by the next most attractive, etcetera?

Then the Ripper would be J1 everytime - wouldn't be fair to t'others

[elye]

Then the Ripper would be J1 everytime - wouldn't be fair to t'others

Oh, hell, I dunno. . .. . .....I saw three of the nine other moms on the day we dropped The Ripper off.... . .....um, using them as a general measure, I do not believe I would be in the top six or seven. . . . .....

What in hell? All these gorgeous, lululemon twenty-somethin's having kids?

But that is okay - - I would NOT resort to cheating measures as my naughty son did.. . . ......no corset or Spanx, no heavy makeup or hair extensions.. . . . . . ....

OMG..... . . .. ..J10, fo sho. . . . . . ......

[jerseyangel]

Good gawd....I just came in.

Seems a couple of little brats....I mean children.....tripped the fire alarm in our building during a downpour. The alarms went off and I just grabbed my purse and keys and walked down the outdoor stairs.

At first, no one knew what was going on--it was a little scary. When last I saw the culprits, they were being ripped new ones by a lady from the building and I assume being turned over to their parents.

The thing is, there are some older people here--one lady wouldn't go outside without her cat who was hiding because of all the noise. She did get him in the carrier and outside, but jeesh.

[blueeyedmanda]

Judy I wasn't ignoring you Sadly, I am not sure Lucky is a 2 cat family- it would be a blessing if another cat could amuse him- get us off the hook for a bit.

[Judyin Philly]

Good gawd....I just came in.

Seems a couple of little brats....I mean children.....tripped the fire alarm in our building during a downpour. The alarms went off and I just grabbed my purse and keys and walked down the outdoor stairs.

At first, no one knew what was going on--it was a little scary. When last I saw the culprits, they were being ripped new ones by a lady from the building and I assume being turned over to their parents.

The thing is, there are some older people here--one lady wouldn't go outside without her cat who was hiding because of all the noise. She did get him in the carrier and outside, but jeesh.

how sad.

bet it was scarey on the 3rd floor

poor lady and her cat.

hope those kids will get it from the parents.........and not............" oh well kids will be kids' attitude.

Judy I wasn't ignoring you Sadly, I am not sure Lucky is a 2 cat family- it would be a blessing if another cat could amuse him- get us off the hook for a bit.

Was teasing...........my cat is a one cat household.......as you know he doesn't know how to share

Em not ignoring you.....just didn't open the link so i'm kinda out of the loop on your topic will try to catch up tomorrow with you and the ripper

[tom]

<wave>

[nikki-uk]

<wave>

<waves back!>

Hai Ptaughaumgmn!!!!!!!!

How're you doing?? ...dare I ask?

[elye]

'Morning all, Ptaoughmghmnuss in particular!

Hmmmm......only a li'l wave. .. ...... . ... ......but at least you've appeared!

May get one more letter from Jack, today or tomorrow. He's learning to flip a kayak. This, for me, would be a heinous thing - - cannot imagine having my entire lower body encased in a boat, only my upper body free, and then capsizing. Nope... . ......'tis the stuff of nightmares..... . . . ....

Spent the first part of this morning going through the HUGE garbage bag in our kitchen, looking for DD's misplaced retainer. Seems she wraps it up in a napkin and places it beside her on the table when she eats. Fine, but she can forget to put it back in her mouth, and leave it there -- in a crumpled, wrapped-up piece of napkin. It is amazing that it is has not been thrown out before........but it did this time. There it was, at the very bottom of the full bag.

So, she really owes me.

She can do ALL of Jack's laundry when he arrives home.

[Jestgar]

<wave>

Is that a greeting or a caption for your avatar?

[nikki-uk]

May get one more letter from Jack, today or tomorrow. He's learning to flip a kayak. This, for me, would be a heinous thing - - cannot imagine having my entire lower body encased in a boat, only my upper body free, and then capsizing. Nope... . ......'tis the stuff of nightmares..... . . . ....

Oh mine too!!

It's the thought of having yer legs trapped

Spent the first part of this morning going through the HUGE garbage bag in our kitchen, looking for DD's misplaced retainer. Seems she wraps it up in a napkin and places it beside her on the table when she eats. Fine, but she can forget to put it back in her mouth, and leave it there -- in a crumpled, wrapped-up piece of napkin. It is amazing that it is has not been thrown out before........but it did this time. There it was, at the very bottom of the full bag.

So, she really owes me.

She can do ALL of Jack's laundry when he arrives home.

Saved yonself some pserious Ka -Ching there Em-uh-lee!!!!!

Yes, Sophie must especially tend to Jack's kayaking bag (the damper the better :evilcackle;!!!!)

OMG! ...mighty photogenic squirrels in Banphffffff (Em did you find him in any of your snaps?? )

Open Original Shared Link

(LOVE the name of the lake!)

...... wait! .. ... is he the li'l guy shouting out for Alan Steve Alan????

[blueeyedmanda]

Morning Sillies

I am hiding....while posting I miss being in the vortex but this huge evil presence during my workday we will refer to her as my boss....has been been keeping us alll busy...the nerve?

Does she not know it is my sillies who boost my morale...certainly aint her!

[elye]

Saved yonself some pserious Ka -Ching there Em-uh-lee!!!!!

Um... . ......Update: Apparently, DD had BOTH upper and lower retainers in the kleenex. SOooOOoo....... ..there's another one in that huge garbage bag.. . ......

Guess what Sophie's doin' this aft?

...... wait! .. ... is he the li'l guy shouting out for Alan Steve Alan????

Yes! I do believe it is the same li'l guy.......looking petulantly into the camera, pleading for his Alan. . .......

Those ground squirrels out there are bold, funny little creatures......we do not have them here out east. They do NOT climb trees, in fact they are much like small groundhogs, and burrow into holes.

What in hell? Squirrels that don't climb trees?

I am hiding....while posting I miss being in the vortex but this huge evil presence during my workday we will refer to her as my boss....has been been keeping us alll busy...the nerve?

Gahhh, Amanda - - the Evil Boss, keeping you from the tantalizing, tugging allure of the Vortex.. . .........

[Jestgar]

Exploring statistics opens you up to a whole knew realm of really lame jokes:

A statistician's wife had twins. He was delighted. He rang the minister who was also delighted. "Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister. "No," replied the statistician. "Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control."

[Jestgar]

One day there was a fire in a wastebasket in the office of the Dean of Sciences. In rushed a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician. The physicist immediately starts to work on how much energy would have to be removed from the fire to stop the combustion. The chemist works on which reagent would have to be added to the fire to prevent oxidation. While they are doing this, the statistician is setting fires to all the other wastebaskets in the office. "What are you doing?" the others demand.

The statistician replies, "Well, to solve the problem, you obviously need a larger sample size."

[jerseyangel]

Jess--<snort> x2

[elye]

"No," replied the statistician. "Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control."

The statistician replies, "Well, to solve the problem, you obviously need a larger sample size."

Har har, hardee...HAR har. . ......

[DingoGirl]

Mornin', Peeps!

OMG.....last night Will and I drove up to McDonalds for an ice cream - -Sophie was working through the dinner shift, and we wanted to get in her line and embarrass her.

We drove in and I said, "Hey! I think that's Soph at the drive-through window!"

Perfect.

We drove up to the menu order/microphone thingy, and sure enough, there is Sophie's li'l voice........"Good evening.... ..... .can I help you?"

In a thick, almost indiscernable Celtic/Scottish brogue, DH says, "I'll have me an extra large sooondae witha booonch a' sauce o'ertop".

There is silence. Then Sophie says, "Um.... ...sir, there is only one size of sundae......and which type of sauce would you like, chocolate, strawberry or caramel?"

DH: (angry, more heavily-accented voice): "I need a LARGE soooondae! The biggest one ya can put through yer winda there! And I need ALL THREE sauces, swirled aroooound in a spec-TAC-ular coooolinary display!"

We can hear other girls' muffled laughter in the background.

More silence. Then, "DAD??"

So fun. This is about as exciting as it gets in my family life.

:lol: x 500

this is absolutely BRILL, you MUST go constantly and come up wiv different accents each time

<snort>

In-law news . . . OK, you need to remember that they saw this model/house/neighborhood a week ago yesterday . . . they have a deposit on a lot, their house is on the market, and they've got arrangements for where they are going to live after their house sells and before the new one is built . . . things are just creepin' along . . .

good LORD they have a lot of energy, don't they? that would take me.......months

oh - wait - I don't have any money for a lot Or a house, or the new TV I now need

(((sigh))).........story o' my life.. . . . ....

......Gawd, likely an undiagnosed celiac with all the pertinent neurological issues making her a crabby b!tch. Patteigh, next time you need to quietly approach her and say, "Just a friendly suggestion......your abominable social skills may be caused by an autoimmune reaction to the protein found in wheat, barley and rye".

this made me cackle

PSILLIES!!!!!!

I've been meaning to say I absolutely am out of my mind for the Gian-kneet/Leesarrr av!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You guys look just adorable !!

_{<wistful sigh...wish I could meet some psillies :-(>}

they DO look adorable, and WE WANT OUR NIK TO COME STATESIDE!!!!!!! Of course, you'll HAVE to come all the way to California, stay here wiv me, and then, all sillies MUST come here - Judith will have to drive up here - a mere five hours - and Ptaum must drive the 2.5 to get here.....Jess - will only take two days to drive from Seattle - the rest a' youse can carpool from various states IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

J3

The ripper needs WAX EARPLUGS!! they save me life - time and again -

And max pooped ! Yay!

Well yes, but also one of the few sun spots that doesn't have the Euro.

The pound is really weak against the Euro and it would end up costing too much (we are not really cosmopolitan, - we are in fact poor...but SCHHHHH!!!!)

clever!!! Who knew???

Nikki--i didn't go to a class to SPIN but stand in the middle of my living room and SPIN.........MUTTERING .......hum.........where to start.........what to do next............wait, why did i come into this room anyway.

Judith <snackle> I take this same spin class also!!!! many times a day!!

OMG - that Alan-shouting ^squirrel weasel marmot critter :lol:

Em said "derivatives" and "moniker"

*snort* she did!

Padt! so sorry about yer bad license photo :BAH: HATE THOSE!!!! and yer stupid scary building alarm - sheesh. What evil miscreants :mad face:

One day there was a fire in a wastebasket in the office of the Dean of Sciences. In rushed a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician. The physicist immediately starts to work on how much energy would have to be removed from the fire to stop the combustion. The chemist works on which reagent would have to be added to the fire to prevent oxidation. While they are doing this, the statistician is setting fires to all the other wastebaskets in the office. "What are you doing?" the others demand.

The statistician replies, "Well, to solve the problem, you obviously need a larger sample size."

<snackle>

crap - where's all me quotes?

part deux coming up

[jerseyangel]

Am over the moon to see Soozle Woozle posting

Waiting patiently fer part deux......

[nikki-uk]

Am over the moon to see Soozle Woozle posting

Waiting patiently fer part deux......

Me too!!!

The TV thing.......mine died a couple of months ago (no picture)...turned out it needed a whole new mother f***in' board

T'is common in certain flatscreen makes apparently - mine was covered by the stupidly overpriced extended warranty

Jess on a roll with the statistical jokes!!!