The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[ranger]

Lost a day. Here's the deal on the not-phat, no ass crack gas man. HE BROKE MY WATER HEATER! He apoligized for not being able to turn the pilot back on, and snuck out of here. I thaught " no biggy, majestically inclined hus can fix anything -surely (you don't have to call me Shirley), he can light the f$*&^# pilet light". Well, he broke the gas valve, we had to order another one, which just came. 3 days with no hot water and I am gross! Toked a cold bath last night, but could stand it only long enough to wash me impotant parts. Ya know, toes and nose. I did notice tho that not only have me tittles dissappered, they seem to have become conclave. And my inny is trying to be an outty. And my knees are furthur fallen - my shins now measure a mere 2 inches. Never would have noticed that in the luxory of a HOT SHOWER! DAMNED GAS MAN! I havn't had a sin-bun for 8 months

[ranger]

Oh, just thought I should mention, my boyfriend gave me his cold so I'm home from work today and not able to go and get stuff done while we have decent weather. So I'm sitting around drinking lots of tea and reading books and watching tv and playing with my sillies! The BF's also home from work, so I has company, it's kinda nice, he's blowing things up in the other room.

Whose he blowin in the other room? Wow. An Alpine marriage.

[DingoGirl]

SILLIES!!!!!!!!!!

bun's makin' buns, Padt's treading lightly , Sleezio's Ass Crack Gas Man (but not Ass Man) broke the pilot so she tooks a cold bath and washes her important parts , Ruh-shell has lost her bresticles, Emmel's a carnie

lots to say but no time - - and OMG - look at the PAGE NUMBER SILLS

Our cat Penny (years ago) used to steal laundry too--she once took a phull length slip out of my sister's overnight bag and tried to abscond wif it--we phound it laying stretched out in the hallway

was that the slip that your mother laid out for her? :lol: <always crack self up w/ that line>

I'm pretty sure this thread has no TMI restrictions.

Darn tootin it doesn't!

Yup :lol:

[ranger]

Thanks guys!

John and I have been trying on and off for a few years but in the last six months have been more serious about it, watching for the fertile time, making sure we are eating much better, reducing things that harm you during the baby making process.

It just is hard since my SIL who lives 10 minutes away is already trying for #2 when she doesn't even ever have #1. She has her bad habits which you all know and sometimes I feel she rubs it in our faces that she has beautiful kids and we have none...its hard!

I'm sorry. being new here, I didn't know about Johns health problems or your bad sil. It's strange why children come into the world. The three kids across the street are well-mannered , bright, beautiful kids. Thier parents are horrible. They have loud yelling fights outside and every other word is the f word. You guys sound like you will be really good parents someday. And you will be parents someday.

[JNBunnie1]

SILLIES!!!!!!!!!!

bun's makin' buns, Padt's treading lightly , Sleezio's Ass Crack Gas Man (but not Ass Man) broke the pilot so she tooks a cold bath and washes her important parts , Ruh-shell has lost her bresticles, Emmel's a carnie

lots to say but no time - - and OMG - look at the PAGE NUMBER SILLS

was that the slip that your mother laid out for her? :lol: <always crack self up w/ that line>

Yup :lol:

Nice summary.

Oh Joodles! I should have answered before, I was whining about not having a dog because I'm allergic to everything with fur. Someday I'll be able to afford one of those hair dogs that don't have fur, but I refuse to get a hairless cat. Those aren't cats, they're oversized rodents. I wish I could take your cat, I love cats.

I'm off to post my recipe for the cinnamon buns.

Rangey Suzen, he's blowing things UP, not blowing them!!! It's a video game you psillie!

[ranger]

HI guys

Lord so many pages behind and missed so much

got the road trip car today and said good bye to my 'precious car I loved'

Now all we have to do is sell the damn house and we're out of here!

Is that on Sunday I'm holding you to it

Let's hope so Patricia

Great Janet

Is the St Joseph U plant in your yard upside down the Joseph of Joseph and Mary as in the cresh?

I can use him.............course I'm not catholic but don't think god will care. Does it work?

Peter.........i'm seeing it too. give a big congrats to your Bro

AH when you can't spell this thread is the perfect fit for some of us

I still have a cat that needs a home.

would you like him.

Jim made a web site for our Velcro and he even has his own email address.

here is the web site. hope it's working .............

Open Original Shared Link

off to bed

Judy

Judist Priest, I can't believe it! Your cat looks just like my cat -a neutered male, but with claws, who disappeared about 4 years ago. He first came around as a tiny kitten who jumped up and splayed himself on the upper half of my screen door. Even though my husband didn't like cats, he was so funny I had to keep him. Even after he got big, he would announce his hoecoming in that manner -all 4 legs spread and attached to the screen. Of course, he ruined the screen. We could have called him Velcro for that, but we named him 'LIL. People wondered why we named a boy 'LIL, it was short for Little Bastard! Cause that what we mostly called him. But, we came to love that cat and it broke my heart when he vanished. Does Velcro have 4 white feet! Hope you sell your house fast.

[JNBunnie1]

Wahhhh......

I no feelie good.....

[ranger]

Nice summary.

Oh Joodles! I should have answered before, I was whining about not having a dog because I'm allergic to everything with fur. Someday I'll be able to afford one of those hair dogs that don't have fur, but I refuse to get a hairless cat. Those aren't cats, they're oversized rodents. I wish I could take your cat, I love cats.

I'm off to post my recipe for the cinnamon buns.

Rangey Suzen, he's blowing things UP, not blowing them!!! It's a video game you psillie!

Never Mind

[Jestgar]

Rangey Suzen, he's blowing things UP,

Ballooooons, dolls,....

[ranger]

Ilya Petrovich Sawyerichoff:

I have no dick. I have no wad. But 2 negatives multplyed mak a positive, so I am a proud dickwad.

Slutvana Elya Doushelovski

[JNBunnie1]

Ilya Petrovich Sawyerichoff:

I have no dick. I have no wad. But 2 negatives multplyed mak a positive, so I am a proud dickwad.

Slutvana Elya Doushelovski

I'm sure this will be very silly when someone explains this to me..... ??

[ranger]

None whatsoever

"breasticles"

So....I just vacuumed fer about the 9th time. Yesterday I knocked over a thick glass candle holder that phell about 4 pheet onto a tile phloor. The crash honestly sounded like a movie when something goes through a plate glass window! So freakin loud--actually shook me up fer a phew minutes there.

I completely swept and vaccumed yesterday but I'm still askeert to go barephoot.

The phunny part is that it was a knock on the door that made me jump up so quick in the phirst place--it was the UPS guy and I opened the door seconds after this awphul crash.....he had earphones on and was completely oblivious.

What does this word mean? To vacuum. Is that a form of dance? I think we should call for a laziest silliyak contest with one annointed as the judge. I my have finally come up with a contest i could win. How bout it?

[JNBunnie1]

What does this word mean? To vacuum. Is that a form of dance? I think we should call for a laziest silliyak contest with one annointed as the judge. I my have finally come up with a contest i could win. How bout it?

I get up at four-thirty AM Mon-Fri for work. I think that automatically disqualifies me. I do frequently nap when I get home though....

[ranger]

[ranger]

I don't know how this works!

[JNBunnie1]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

[psawyer]

I'm sure this will be very silly when someone explains this to me..... ??

Our new Queen is lost already.

I don't know how this works!

How what works?

[jerseyangel]

OMG!!! Bun-knee is our new Queen Congratulations!!!!!!

Cinnamon rolls fer everyone!!

That phlipover happened so phast this time--I didn't even realize it was imminent.

[JNBunnie1]

Our new Queen is lost already.

How what works?

Oh!! OHH!!

CRAP!!!

I didn't mean to do that, I'm not good at administration, I'm only good in the kitchen....

Can I defer?

[jerseyangel]

Can I defer?

M-m-m....unprecidented

I think you may be stuck wif it

[Jestgar]

YAY!!!!!!

QUEEN BUNNIE!!!

[elye]

****GAAAHHH! ALL HAIL, QUEEEEEEEN BUHNEEEE!!!!!!*****

A monarch who wants to abscond, or defer, or pass, or WIMP OUT! No such luck, Yer Hyegnuss. . . . . ..... . ...you're in!!

There is SO much for you to do.....royal edicts to proclaim or strike down, minutes to peruse, land serfdoms to grant... .... .. . . .you can get started right away, as you're home sick!

Ilya Petrovich Sawyerichoff:

Slutvana Elya Doushelovski

OMG.. .. . .wunnerful Iron Curtain monikers... . . . ...

Oh!! OHH!!

I'm only good in the kitchen....

Well! Queen Buhgnee, you now have a royal cook to do this for you.....and a drunken jester to mix yer drinks. You may end up following him around and cleaning up his vomit.....do NOT let him dirty up your royal robe - -it's been dry-cleaned several times, and never looks the same when it comes out. . . .....

[Darn210]

What does this word mean? To vacuum. Is that a form of dance? I think we should call for a laziest silliyak contest with one annointed as the judge. I my have finally come up with a contest i could win. How bout it?

You are soooooooo goin' down!!!!!!

Oh!! OHH!!

CRAP!!!

I didn't mean to do that, I'm not good at administration, I'm only good in the kitchen....

Can I defer?

No but you can start cookin' . . . I'll have the cinnamon buns.

[blueeyedmanda]

Hurrah we have a new Queen!!!!!! Congrats Bunnie!

[ranger]

Since I've resently turned Rushin, you will forever be known as my Czarest JNloeska Almay Phlobunnidiev. The gown, cape, and tilapia are about the same, but the risk of being behinded is much greater as Rusha is a much grater and cheesier country. Your country, I'm thinking America, for sure has it's fairy share of queens, also, but they tend to mitigate to the larger cities, making it much less likely for a behinding for you. And, if you are Bratish, we all know that Henry behinded his wife (how do we know, the Beetles told us so). So, carry on with you ingratitude and multiplicity and "LONG LIVE THE CZAREST"

Your Drunkin Rushin Savant

Sleezvana Vulgarakov