Jump to content
This site uses cookies. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. More Info... ×
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

elye Community Regular
My newly fixed plumbing is rocking

Ah! Methinks, therefore, that you will be pregnant real soon. . . ...... <_<:lol:

OK- since my ENTIRE neighborhood went back to school/work this week and it is a flippin ghost town, PLEASE tell me that working full-time is highly overrated. I'm lonely! My "students" (online) don't come until next week.

Bevel! It's just all the more time you can spend here! :D

I know what ya mean..... . ....I don't begin my teaching gigs until the third week of Sept.

Ho hum. . .. . .........

But why are my busiest periods in life those where I am NOT working? :huh:


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
ranger Enthusiast

Don't have any time today- spent the whole day baking so I can go to a family picnic Sat. where all the food is supplied. Except for me- a freak of nature. GRRR. Could be worse. I could have been born beautiful, with all the attendant problems that go along with that.

Sir Lady Sleez (I seem to have nighted myself)

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Joooodie! You found a St. Joseph statue, brought it home, and placed it on yer property? Within a few hours?? Awesome. St. Joseph statues must be readily available... . .do they have rows of them at Walmart or Costco? :rolleyes:

What in hell is a totals query? What's a regular query? Questions that are more involved, more detailed, versus those that simply skim the surface? Are all men jerks? Versus Do all men misunderstand everything we say, misinterpret and fail to hear all we ask unless it is an invitation to have sex?

Sumfin' like that, maybe.. .. . .....

:blink:

yup, Jess's statement really did scare me last night :lol: dunno WHAT IN HELL it was about -

stress relief? I think the wine drinking starts around 4 today :(

Suzlet- We apparently have something in common. Did I here you say you're poor? Or that you frequently poor youself a drink? Either way..........

Lady Fartalot :lol: <slight snortle here but no big guffaws lately - boo>

Both are correct, Sleziak. ;)

Oddly enough, since he knows I'm going back to school, and I'm only using him for free tuition, I have essentially fired him. He really has no authority over me whatsoever, I'm working entirely for my own benefit (in my opinion).

<snackle> brilliant, Geoss

Speaking of pictures, just went and had me drivers license renewed. We are now prohibited from smiling in any government issue photograph. No smile, smirk, no nuttin' where the corners of your mouth are turned up, even teenily.

:blink: WHOT? yer not allowed to smile in Canada? What is this about? that is totally crazy, man. And really funny. I would be beyond the ability to stifle spitting laughter in this situation. Could NEVER have a picture taken, would probably be carted off to the slammer for inability to comply with this stupid law. :lol:

OK- since my ENTIRE neighborhood went back to school/work this week and it is a flippin ghost town, PLEASE tell me that working full-time is highly overrated. I'm lonely! My "students" (online) don't come until next week.

Bevel - very lonely here too - come on out. I can't promise any fun.....just some good mojitos. Maybe.

Sir Lady Sleez (I seem to have nighted myself)

Sleez is the wackl-est one of all :lol:

sills - lots of activity on FB with gals from HS. lots of fun.....but they don't know about my life.....only Karenly does. :( Don't know how I can keep this up......but I'm very good at writing superficial psilly coments - they think I am THE FUNNIEST ONE - got all my training and practice at this very place, Sills. :wub:

but I'm gonna have to go underground soon........

very stressful. :huh:

elye Community Regular
:blink: WHOT? yer not allowed to smile in Canada? What is this about? that is totally crazy, man. And really funny. I would be beyond the ability to stifle spitting laughter in this situation. Could NEVER have a picture taken, would probably be carted off to the slammer for inability to comply with this stupid law. :lol:

'Tis SOooOoo amusing, really. Cannot show our teeth - - must be completely expressionless, which means no smiling, but also no frowning, jeering, twitching, signs of shock, surprise, bemusement.

Um, yeah.....these things could interfere with the new Official Face Recognition Template System that has been put in place. One can wear a burqa or turban, covering the head, hair and forehead.... . ......but you'd best not be smilin' whilst you sport these things, as a smile will disguise you big time! :huh::huh::lol:

Open Original Shared Link

- they think I am THE FUNNIEST ONE -

Well......Soooozle, you IS. We know this. . . . . ..... B):)

Judyin Philly Enthusiast
Due to some faulty wiring dating back to the middle ages, men have had the misguided misconception that anything that comes out of a women's mouth is, in actuality, a problem that can only be fixed by the supreme and worldly knowledge and advice of the so called 'dominant' species.

There is also speculation that even as far back as the caveman days, the male species erroneously believed that they alone had all the answers, when, in actuality, it was the cavewoman who realized that the best way to get the men out of their hair was to convince them that they were best suited to run all over the countryside chasing and killing wild creatures. This left the cavewoman free to take care of everything else. ;)

There is also the belief that the aforementioned faulty wiring created a short circuit to the auditory canal, ensuring that the male species has a permanent and irreparable distortion of the way they process any input at or near the decibel level of the female voice.

:huh:

I'm sure there's documentation on that somewhere...... . . .. .

:P

There apparently also exists a male sub-species who's wiring has deteriorated to the extent that their brain theoretically receives but somehow fails to process pertinent visual input, such as wedding pictures, wedding ring, etc. There is little hope that these individuals will be capable of reproducing any viable offspring. :rolleyes:

this whole quote deserves to be read again.

wonderful curly lisa

The Ripper's newly braced teeth are killing him. He is a miserable kid, so thank gawd fer Advil Extra Strength Gel-caps......

Give the Ripper a hug for me...poor guy

Good Morning me psillies-

Judy- Hope that house sells soon so you can be less stressed!

Bev thanks

y :blink: up, Jess's statement really did scare me last night :lol: dunno WHAT IN HELL it was about -

stress relief? I think the wine drinking starts around 4 today :(

Lady Fartalot :lol: <slight snortle here but no big guffaws lately - boo>

Both are correct, Sleziak. ;)

<snackle> brilliant, Geoss

:blink: WHOT? yer not allowed to smile in Canada? What is this about? that is totally crazy, man. And really funny. I would be beyond the ability to stifle spitting laughter in this situation. Could NEVER have a picture taken, would probably be carted off to the slammer for inability to comply with this stupid law. :lol:

Bevel - very lonely here too - come on out. I can't promise any fun.....just some good mojitos. Maybe.

Sleez is the wackl-est one of all :lol:

sills - lots of activity on FB with gals from HS. lots of fun.....but they don't know about my life.....only Karenly does. :( Don't know how I can keep this up......but I'm very good at writing superficial psilly coments - they think I am THE FUNNIEST ONE - got all my training and practice at this very place, Sills. :wub:

but I'm gonna have to go underground soon........

very stressful. :huh:

no don't

waiting for realator ......45 min late crap

dinner in oven will burn again.

judy

flourgirl Apprentice
Sorry I missed the All PoWerPhul OmniScient Creator of Psilli-villi! I so enjoyed his psilliness when I was attempting to start at the beginning.

"In the beGGinning, there was RisChard. Alone in the VoId of NothinGness! He laffed breAth into the vOid and so beGat liphe in Psilli-ville. On the phirst day he creAted Oskar May-ar BoloGnA. On the SekonD daY he tikkled liphe into the ElBoW of Pseussle, who reMains in the GarDen to this day!" :lol::lol::lol:

Jest fer all the NewBees.....I'm qwoting meselph to answer the kwestion...."Who is Richard?". You can view the beginning of creation of psillyville in Gennesees page 1 :P

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Evening Folks

Very quiet night here- I am sitting on the couch and chilling on FBook what is becoming of me? I am playing farmville and now soriority life too...tis addicting. I find myself tending to my pharm during work :ph34r: Also got HS friends finding me- turns out next yr is our 10 yr reunion and ppl are coming out of the shadows...some I have not spoken to since graduation night.

How is everyone else?

Are the rippers teeth a little less painphul?


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



ranger Enthusiast

Where is everyone? If you think I was nonphunni yesterday, I am 50 times more nonphunni today. I'm going to take a shower -maybe if I look down, I'll see sumptin to laugh about. Letcha no.

Ms. Susan Sagsalot

elye Community Regular
I'm going to take a shower -maybe if I look down, I'll see sumptin to laugh about.

:lol: Or cry about. . . . .....

I looked down this early mornin', and was not larfin'......it was grimacing that I was doing, as I had my mammogram done. Incredible how one's breast just becomes something so foreign, so bizarre-looking, like something that could never be part of one's body, when squished between those glass plates.

jerseyangel Proficient

Oh Emily, I never look down.....(shudder).....

celiac-mommy Collaborator
Um, yeah.....these things could interfere with the new Official Face Recognition Template System that has been put in place. One can wear a burqa or turban, covering the head, hair and forehead.... . ......but you'd best not be smilin' whilst you sport these things, as a smile will disguise you big time! :huh::huh::lol:

We have them licenses here in Worshington too. Me poor 4y/o son's ID looks like dem mug shots. Sad tang is, it probbly won't be his first... :huh:

I looked down this early mornin', and was not larfin'......it was grimacing that I was doing, as I had my mammogram done.

Had me first'n last week. Me gyno felt me up and found a nugget of somphin in thar, thought she shood torture me sommore, twas a site I don't EVER want to see agin-as if my perception of my booblessness wasn't enough, I had to see them stretched out like they were comin out of a fondant sheeter :o:lol::lol:

Me inlaws arrrrr comin today, along with the nit-wit of a bro-in-law. I'm gonna need some pserrrriousss vodka tonight!!!

My baby girl turns 8 today. Gawd it seems like yesterday her enormous head was----never mind, hurts too bad to think about :o She gets her braces off in a month--tell Ripper the pain only lasts a few days....and then they tighten the damn things again next month and start all over. Might want to take stock in Advil ;)

Hope you all have a fabuloso and psuper psillie Friday!!

jerseyangel Proficient
My baby girl turns 8 today.

My baby boy turns 25 today! :D (I miss him :( )

Don't get me started (again) on license fotos.....I had a rare and perphectly nice one from PA--my Tex-Ass one has me looking like a prison escapee <_< No smile--I actually look mean.....and/or pisssed :lol:

JNBunnie1 Community Regular

Y'know, this whole mammogram thing pisses me off, because they have technology that's more reliable, completely non invasive, and doesn't expose you to radiation. It's 'too expensive' though. I have to wonder how many cases of breast cancer mammograms have CAUSED.

OH! Oh! I made peach cobbler!!!

mushroom Proficient
Oh Emily, I never look down.....(shudder).....

How CAN you look down during that manoover anyways? One arm wrapped around de machine in a bear hug with the corner of de machine digging painfullly into armpit, the other clutching anything that will help you keep your balance as you are instructed "Move towards me a bit, no move back, now turn and face de machine, no, not your head dummy, your body, turn your head dis way, put your chin there, wait dat doesn't look like it's hoiting you enough, let me clamp it down some more, get your belly out of dere and with your third hand hold dat other boob out of de way, now your head's wrong, look up dere, all right now hold your breath" as if you can breathe at that point anyway. Repeat procedure three times, and one additional time because she fllubbed one.....Ah, de boobogram :P

jerseyangel Proficient

I have an internal argument with myself every time I go for a mammogram. I skipped 2 years previous to this last one in June and by the time I had it I was so nervous that they were going to find something that by the time I got the results in the mail 3 weeks later (they had to send up to NJ to get my films--wouldn't read until they arrived) that I literally burst into tears when I saw they were "normal".

My instinct is to keep a good eye on any changes myself and forgo the radiation, but there's always the nagging question of what if. I hate the invassiveness of it and it causes me a great deal of anxiety.

Gawd.....that wasn't very silly :huh:

jerseyangel Proficient
.....and with your third hand hold dat other boob out of de way...

:lol::lol::lol:

You have captured the procedure poiphectly, Shroom! :lol:

celiac-mommy Collaborator
My baby boy turns 25 today! :D (I miss him :( )

Don't get me started (again) on license fotos.....I had a rare and perphectly nice one from PA--my Tex-Ass one has me looking like a prison escapee <_< No smile--I actually look mean.....and/or pisssed :lol:

My last one was good, the gal actually re-took the photo 3x to get a good one. They weren't very busy that day ;) Maybe I should be offended that she wanted to re-take it 3x....

jerseyangel Proficient
My last one was good, the gal actually re-took the photo 3x to get a good one. They weren't very busy that day ;) Maybe I should be offended that she wanted to re-take it 3x....

I got a mean woman--phirst, she yelled at me to stand on the right phloor tile and then she said "ready?" and by the time the word was out of her mean mouth, she snapped the picture :angry:

Mean as a snake, that one <_<

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
I got a mean woman--phirst, she yelled at me to stand on the right phloor tile and then she said "ready?" and by the time the word was out of her mean mouth, she snapped the picture :angry:

Mean as a snake, that one <_<

Try goin to your local AAA office next time, they do license renewals (I think for a small fee) and they're WAY more friendly and WAY less busy. The people at mine were super cool.

jerseyangel Proficient
Try goin to your local AAA office next time, they do license renewals (I think for a small fee) and they're WAY more friendly and WAY less busy. The people at mine were super cool.

Really??!! I never knew that :o

elye Community Regular
"Move towards me a bit, no move back, now turn and face de machine, no, not your head dummy, your body, turn your head dis way, put your chin there, wait dat doesn't look like it's hoiting you enough, let me clamp it down some more, get your belly out of dere and with your third hand hold dat other boob out of de way, now your head's wrong, look up dere, all right now hold your breath"

:lol::rolleyes: Yup, exactement.. . . ......well, at least she didn't tell me I couldn't smile. Thank goodness, because that is exactly what we all feel like doing as the plates are compressed - - just couldn't help myself.. . ....... <_<

I got a mean woman--phirst, she yelled at me to stand on the right phloor tile and then she said "ready?" and by the time the word was out of her mean mouth, she snapped the picture :angry:

Mean as a snake, that one <_<

Was she funny-looking, like mine? Well, you guys are allowed to smile, so a face like a can of worms is not a problem for youse down there. .. . . ....

:lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
Was she funny-looking, like mine? Well, you guys are allowed to smile, so a face like a can of worms is not a problem for youse down there. .. . . ....

:lol:

We're allowed to smile, this one didn't give me the chance to smile :rolleyes:

Oh well, whaddayagonnado B)

ranger Enthusiast
Where is everyone? If you think I was nonphunni yesterday, I am 50 times more nonphunni today. I'm going to take a shower -maybe if I look down, I'll see sumptin to laugh about. Letcha no.

Ms. Susan Sagsalot

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And it's lasted all day!

I'M A SHINLESS, TITLESS, BUTTLESS WONDER OF A WOMAN! Almost went down the drain.

ranger Enthusiast

Ah, the yearly bamogram. Can You imagine what it's like for a woman with no titlelists. Owy! Then, they told me I had tiny lumpets, so I had to have a cervical biopsy. Tips to small for a needle biopsy!

Upside- everything Ok

Downside- my left booblet is even smaller.

I WANT SOME JUNK FOOD!

blueeyedmanda Community Regular

Wow- over 12 hours and no posts....did all the sillies vacate for the long holiday weekend? Anyway- we are still sorting out all of our plans. I really want to get to the beach\

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Donate

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):





    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):




  • Recent Activity

    1. - Jacki Espo replied to Itsabit's topic in Dermatitis Herpetiformis
      3

      SkinSafe

    2. - Russ H replied to Itsabit's topic in Dermatitis Herpetiformis
      3

      SkinSafe

    3. - trents replied to Itsabit's topic in Dermatitis Herpetiformis
      3

      SkinSafe

    4. - Itsabit posted a topic in Dermatitis Herpetiformis
      3

      SkinSafe

    5. - trents replied to Cathijean90's topic in Introduce Yourself / Share Stuff
      1

      I’m terrified it’s too late for me😭


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      128,317
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    JFord
    Newest Member
    JFord
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121.1k
    • Total Posts
      70.8k

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Jacki Espo
      For me I gave up oat products and it finally cleared. I had a whole body reaction for months. Two additional culprits for me: shared grill at a restaurant or a shared toaster.  Hope you have relief soon. 
    • Russ H
      It can take between 6 months and 2 years for the dermatitis herpetiformis rash to resolve. The symptoms of dermatitis herpetiformis arise from deposits of certain antibodies building up in the skin. These deposits attract immune cells leading to inflammation and blistering. It can take 10 years for the deposits to be reabsorbed although symptoms resolve long before this.
    • trents
      Welcome to the forum, Linda! Many on this forum can sympathize with you. It can be extremely difficult to get reliable information about gluten when it comes to meds, supplements and oral hygiene products. This is especially true since so much of this stuff is generic and comes from over seas. I will deflect with regard to your question about meds and oral products but take you in another direction. Have you tried a low iodine diet. Iodine is known to exacerbate dermatitis herpetiformis and some find that a low iodine diet helps reduce the number of outbreaks. By the way, have you had your celiac antibodies retested recently? If they are elevated that might be a clue that you are getting gluten in your oral hygiene products or meds.
    • Itsabit
      Hi. I’m 70 years old, and a 22 year survivor of head and neck cancer treated with chemo-radiation, which resulted in non-existent submandibular salivary glands and extreme dry mouth and altered oral mucosa. I have been using dry mouth toothpaste, Rx oral dentrifices and moisturizers for years.  I’ve recently been diagnosed with severe celiac dermatitis herpetiformis. I was being treated with oral Dapsone, but it was not effective and I developed some serious side effects. So, the medication was stopped and I was started on Doxycycline (another antibiotic) for inflammation. I’ve been using Rx Betamethasone steroid ointment with little to no effect. I have tried every oral and topical antihistamine treatment available OTC. None have touched this horrible relentless itching. That is my history.  Now to my question. Does anybody know about gluten free toothpastes and mouth moisturizers? I ask because a very common dry mouth brand stated to me that they were indeed gluten free. But as I am not getting any better with my dermatitis herpetiformis, I was wondering if I was getting glutenized some way other than diet as  I have been following a strict clean gluten free diet, but I am not seeing any improvement at all. So, I started looking up the toothpastes and moisturizer ingredients individually and nine (9) of the eleven (11) or so listed showed up as   containing gluten or that may have gluten! Am I getting glutenized orally by these products?  As an aside, I checked on my favorite lavender scented baby lotion which is supposed to be gluten free, but many of those ingredients when investigated separately, show they  do contain or may contain gluten as well. I stopped using the lotion. But I cannot forgo my dental care. I was unable to get any information from the manufacturer of my current brand of chewable multivitamins either. They told me to check with my doctor. If THEY don’t know what’s in their product, how do they think a PCP will?  In light of all this, I am confused and angry that I might keep getting contaminated with gluten through products I am using that are supposedly gluten safe. *I should also state that I have a nickel allergy since I was about 12-13 years old. And I developed a contact allergy to latex (gloves) when I was a student nurse at 19 years old.  I know and I’m sorry that this is so lengthy. I’m trying to do everything I can to combat this condition, and I’m feeling very confused, anxious and angry about not getting adequate information as I try to educate and advocate for myself. I’m hoping someone here is more knowledgeable than me of how to navigate through all of this. Can anyone offer any advice?  Thank you for your time.  Respectfully,  Linda
    • trents
      Welcome to the forum, @Cathijean90! I went 13 years from the first laboratory evidence of celiac disease onset before I was diagnosed. But there were symptoms of celiac disease many years before that like a lot of gas. The first laboratory evidence was a rejected Red Cross blood donation because of elevated liver enzymes. They assume you have hepatitis if your liver enzymes are elevated. But I was checked for all varieties of hepatitis and that wasn't it. Liver enzymes continued to slowly creep up for another 13 years and my PCP tested me for a lot of stuff and it was all negative. He ran out of ideas. By that time, iron stores were dropping as was albumin and total protein. Finally, I took it upon myself to schedule an appointment with a GI doc and the first thing he did was test me for celiac disease. I was positive of course. After three months of gluten free eating the liver enzymes were back in normal range. That was back in about 1992. Your story and mine are more typical than not. I think the average time to diagnosis from the onset of symptoms and initial investigation into causes for symptom is about 10 years. Things are improving as there is more general awareness in the medical community about celiac disease than there used to be years ago. The risk of small bowel lymphoma in the celiac population is 4x that of the general population. That's the bad news is.  The good news is, it's still pretty rare as a whole. Yes, absolutely! You can expect substantial healing even after all these years if you begin to observe a strict gluten free diet. Take heart! But I have one question. What exactly did the paperwork from 15 years ago say about your having celiac disease? Was it a test result? Was it an official diagnosis? Can you share the specifics please? If you have any celiac blood antibody test results could you post them, along with the reference ranges for each test? Did you have an endoscopy/biopsy to confirm the blood test results?
×
×
  • Create New...