Jump to content
This site uses cookies. Continued use is acceptance of our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. More Info... ×
  • Welcome to Celiac.com!

    You have found your celiac tribe! Join us and ask questions in our forum, share your story, and connect with others.




  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A1):



    Celiac.com Sponsor (A1-M):


  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Our Content
    eNewsletter
    Donate

The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

Recommended Posts

jerseyangel Proficient

When you apply mascara, you raise your eyebrows, thus pulling the skin upwards, causing the mouth to gape open.

And in my case, this occurs simultaneously whilst holding the magnification mirror wif me left hand whilst applying said mascara wif me right. Of course, this means that I have to put down the mirror to re-load the brush wif mascara to do the second eye....


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



  • Replies 51k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
celiac-mommy Collaborator

I lurve yelling at talking to little old men who are hard of hearing...

Me: Hi sir, my name is Rachelle, I'm going to take a look at your heart...

Him: What's yer name?

Me-louder: Rachelle!!

Him-louder: What??

Me-louder and slower: R-A-C-H-E-L-L-E, like MICHELLE, but with an "R"

Him: Oooohhhhhh.... You must be a pretty strong gal to be called Russell. Not many girls could handle a name like that...

Me: Yeah, that's right.... :blink::lol::lol:

kareng Grand Master

Sooooo, with the final prompt from my therapist yesterday, I started my cookbook today :o I don't know how long it will take or what I expect, but I've had so many people tell me I should.....so I am! I's skeert!! :huh:

All my cake recipes will be in there too...... ;)

I'll buy it! Can I get it autographed? Will you be using Russell as your "nom de plume?" (did I use that fancy French sounding phrase right?)

I've been outta the Great Phorum Loop -- is everyone, like me, sidelined and greatly handicapped by this new feature (or lack thereof) that no longer allows us to see past posts when we are posting? 'Tis quite... .. ..debilitating, at times... . .... ...I believe that this should be brought forward in the official minutes of the Moderators Only Section as an item to peruse.

Oh, yes.. . .. . .....and right beneath this, the question of why I cannot apply mascara with my mouth closed.

:huh:

Yes, I keep forgetting either what I want to say or who I'm saying it to.

Do your eyes close when you put on lipstick?

And in my case, this occurs simultaneously whilst holding the magnification mirror wif me left hand whilst applying said mascara wif me right. Of course, this means that I have to put down the mirror to re-load the brush wif mascara to do the second eye....

The things we women must do for beauty.

jerseyangel Proficient

Will you be using Russell as your "nom de plume?"

:lol: :lol: :lol:

"Russell" :lol:

Now on a pserious note Rah-shell.....you will be dedicating this book to the sillies, right? :P

We knew you when, and all......

curlyfries Contributor

I lurve yelling at talking to little old men who are hard of hearing...

:lol:

Reminded me of a conversation with my deaf student.

She also has difficulties with her reading and speech, so whenever she has to read something aloud, she points out words she doesn't know or can't pronounce, and we practice them, quietly, until it's her turn.

She had to write a paragraph on her opinion of same-sex classrooms.

She points.....

Me: sex

Her: stex

Me....sex

Her....seck

Me....sex

Her.....sex

RIGHT!!

stex

no....sex

stex

there's no T......ssseeeexxx

sss...ex

Right!

stex

:rolleyes: sex

That's the stupidest word I ever heard!

:lol:

DingoGirl Enthusiast

argh, quote-busted!!!!!!!!! <_<

:lol: Geoss, I have Butt Paste in my drawer, from a FIERCE case of poison oak, many years ago (it did not work, was beyond the help of normal salves and required hospital visit(s) :huh:

Leesargh's microwave system, 'tis crazy, BUTT brilliant :lol:

'Morning, Pgang!

Methinks the Psilly thread should be broadcast through the intercoms of hospital recovery and observation areas -- professionals reading our lines, going through the posts in real time, with recap and summaries before shift-change. People would recover more quickly.....and even if they didn't, they would be larfin', and larfter ALWAYS helps.. . .. ..... .

'tis a CAPITOL IDEER! get it spread through the Commonwealth, at once

Does she know you drew them on? They may be preparing a bed for you in the "special" wing.

*snort* :lol:

Ahh --took me laptop to Best Buy last night, thinking I'd have to leave it wif the Geek Squad because it wouldn't recognize the router's signal anymore and I was getting weary of the pop ups it was generating every time I'd come on. The lovely geek had a look and proceeded to phix it right there. Evidently there's a single key on my model that will turn off the ability to obtain a signal :unsure: and I musta hit it by mistake whilst on-line late the other night wifout the lights on :ph34r: Annoying pop ups gone as well

:unsure: WHOT?

oh the HEINOSITY of tehcnology!!!!! <_<

No--that's the amazing part! I asked him what I owed him and he said--nothing!!

Pads - only you - all them free dinners at PF Chang's and such......you is blessed :wub:

She is faring well, it seems.

yay!!! :)

Sooooo, with the final prompt from my therapist yesterday, I started my cookbook today :o I don't know how long it will take or what I expect, but I've had so many people tell me I should.....so I am! I's skeert!!

WHOT? this is very exciting! And, as Pads has said, ARE YER dedicating it to yer Sills? ;)

Oh, yes.. . .. . .....and right beneath this, the question of why I cannot apply mascara with my mouth closed.

Tis quite simple......

When you apply mascara, you raise your eyebrows, thus pulling the skin upwards, causing the mouth to gape open. This is a sign of still young, tight skin.

I, on the other hand, no longer have young, tight skin, therefore I do not have a problem keeping my mouth shut.

However......it seems that some tightness-challenged women still apply make-up with mouth open. This is either due to poor memory (forgot that eyebrows no longer able to open mouth) or poor eyesight (and the erroneous belief that opening the mouth provides more light to shine on the optic nerve, thus improving vision)

good greef, Laydeez, don't y'all have a HUGE magnifying mirror at yer makeup stations? I NEVER have mouth open when applying mascara.......am looking into a HORRIFYING magnifier when applying makeup........mouth never opens (can only see one part of face when using - highly recommended and also highly horrifying) <_<

Just like my right thumb locks into a certain position, just like my mom's used to, and I have to use my other hand to straighten it out :P

Now let's see, what else can I blame on me mom? Don't get me started :lol: But the RA comes from me Dad :P Most of the other stuff, though, is maternally influenced, except my strong bones (read large frame as well ) and big head - barely a hat made to encase the brains bulging from this hulking skull of mine. I see they have finally changed the sizing to read "One Size Fits MOST!!

:lol: cracked me up, Shroom

I lurve yelling at talking to little old men who are hard of hearing...

Me: Hi sir, my name is Rachelle, I'm going to take a look at your heart...

Him: What's yer name?

Me-louder: Rachelle!!

Him-louder: What??

Me-louder and slower: R-A-C-H-E-L-L-E, like MICHELLE, but with an "R"

Him: Oooohhhhhh.... You must be a pretty strong gal to be called Russell. Not many girls could handle a name like that...

Me: Yeah, that's right....

RUSSELL!!! :lol: x 55 nom de plume, indeed

celiac-mommy Collaborator

:lol: :lol: :lol:

"Russell" :lol:

Now on a pserious note Rah-shell.....you will be dedicating this book to the sillies, right? :P

We knew you when, and all......

Absof*%kinlutely! I've honestly never met such a bunch of amazing, supportive people in all of my life :wub: :wub: (I guess technically I still haven't :P) And my cousin Chris who helped me wif the name......Will reveal later (hubby's not sure I'll get it past a publisher...) ;)

That's the stupidest word I ever heard!

:lol:

Me tooo!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:


Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):
Celiac.com Sponsor (A8):



Celiac.com Sponsor (A8-M):



elye Community Regular

I lurve yelling at talking to little old men who are hard of hearing...

Dear gawd, yes... .. . and hospitals are FULL of 'em.

Reminds me of a statistic I came across not long ago:

Researchers tell us that only about 25 percent of what is said can be understood by lipreading.

For example:

Suppose a woman says:

"This place is a mess! C'mon,

You and I need to clean this place up,

Your stuff is lying all over on the floor

and you'll have no clothes to wear tomorrow

unless we do the laundry right now!"

Her lip-reading husband will get:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON

YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR

blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!

:rolleyes:

Do your eyes close when you put on lipstick?

:lol: Thank heavens, only when I'm putting it on my eyelids.. . . ..

Now on a pserious note Rah-shell.....you will be dedicating this book to the sillies, right? :P

We knew you when, and all......

Dear GAWD, yes. With accompanying photos of our choice avatars.. . . . ......

Russell! You is publishing a cookbook! This is really terrific. Good for you! Seeing your incredible baked works of art on Da Book keeps me thinking that you need to be really focusing on this... . ...such a talent. :)

:rolleyes: sex

That's the stupidest word I ever heard!

:lol: Crap, at times it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.. . . . . . .. . ...

jerseyangel Proficient

Her lip-reading husband will get:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON

YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR

blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!

:P:lol: :lol: :lol:

Mornin' sills....got nuttin--too early -_- <sleepyphace>

kareng Grand Master

And my cousin Chris who helped me wif the name......Will reveal later (hubby's not sure I'll get it past a publisher...) ;)

Sounds like your not going for a name that evokes a wholesome mom & apple pie vibe? Perhaps something a little sexier?

"This place is a mess! C'mon,

You and I need to clean this place up,

Your stuff is lying all over on the floor

and you'll have no clothes to wear tomorrow

unless we do the laundry right now!"

Her lip-reading husband will get:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON

YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR

blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!

:rolleyes:

:lol::lol:

celiac-mommy Collaborator

Dear gawd, yes... .. . and hospitals are FULL of 'em.

Reminds me of a statistic I came across not long ago:

Her lip-reading husband will get:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON

YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR

blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!

:rolleyes:

:lol::lol::lol:tis true

Russell! You is publishing a cookbook! This is really terrific. Good for you! Seeing your incredible baked works of art on Da Book keeps me thinking that you need to be really focusing on this... . ...such a talent. :)

:wub::wub: Ahhh, thanks. It would be my dream to have my own business. I guess it's starting to happen :)

Mornin' sills....got nuttin--too early -_- <sleepyphace>

Good mornin', Good mornin', Good mornin' to you!!!!!!!

Sounds like your not going for a name that evokes a wholesome mom & apple pie vibe? Perhaps something a little sexier?

A play on words......G F means one thing to us, but others may see it standing for sumphin else. After my cousin tasted my cooking, he was in love. He would message me every day telling me to have a G F day. I thought there was a double meaning behind it, and everyone else on da book just thought it meant good "f..k.ng" day. I thought it was heeelarious, especially when I found out he was only thinking gluten-free and not the other. he couldn't understand why people were making such a big deal. He's the one who first mentioned the cookbook and he even designed me a cover and sent it to me :) I adore him!!

Mtndog Collaborator

Leesargh's whole post :lol: :lol:

Absof*%kinlutely! I've honestly never met such a bunch of amazing, supportive people in all of my life :wub: :wub:

I now the psillies are the best bunch of peopple I've mostly never met but feel like I have :wub: :wub:

Reminds me of a statistic I came across not long ago:

Researchers tell us that only about 25 percent of what is said can be understood by lipreading.

For example:

Suppose a woman says:

"This place is a mess! C'mon,

You and I need to clean this place up,

Your stuff is lying all over on the floor

and you'll have no clothes to wear tomorrow

unless we do the laundry right now!"

Her lip-reading husband will get:

blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON

YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR

blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!

:rolleyes:

SO TRUE!!!!!!!!! Do you ever bag them? I always say "Honey, what did I just say?" (I think it's the teacher in me) and his answers are priceless sometimes. I bought him a t-shirt that says "I see your lips moving but all I hear is blah, blah, blah"!

Russell! :lol:

Good mornin', Good mornin', Good mornin' to you!!!!!!!

A play on words......G F means one thing to us, but others may see it standing for sumphin else. After my cousin tasted my cooking, he was in love. He would message me every day telling me to have a G F day. I thought there was a double meaning behind it, and everyone else on da book just thought it meant good "f..k.ng" day. I thought it was heeelarious, especially when I found out he was only thinking gluten-free and not the other. he couldn't understand why people were making such a big deal. He's the one who first mentioned the cookbook and he even designed me a cover and sent it to me :) I adore him!!

That is awesome! A phun title and your food looks like a work of art!

celiac-mommy Collaborator

This has been the sslloowweesstt day in history, and no one's been on here all day! Boo-Hoo! :P

Except Bev's--Hi Bev's

I'm BORED!!!!! And I still have an hour left of work!!! And I want to eat, but I'm past my allotted caloried phor the day and that makes me CRABBY!!!

but.....I's attemptin to makin a Dobostorta tomorrow....Mmmmmmmmm

dobos.webp

JNBunnie1 Community Regular

SO TRUE!!!!!!!!! Do you ever bag them? I always say "Honey, what did I just say?" (I think it's the teacher in me) and his answers are priceless sometimes. I bought him a t-shirt that says "I see your lips moving but all I hear is blah, blah, blah"!

My boyfriend should get this shirt for ME. He talks and I just kind of wander away in my mind..... it's not my fault, he repeats himself so much I can't stay tuned! The whole family just talks nonstop, it's genetic. They're Italian. He talks to me while I'm reading. I'm like, uh, honey? You know how you hate it when I talk during movies? Yeah, same thing here...... I don't know how he does it, but if I tried to talk that much I'd damage my vocal cords.... :lol: :lol:

Mtndog Collaborator

My boyfriend should get this shirt for ME. He talks and I just kind of wander away in my mind..... it's not my fault, he repeats himself so much I can't stay tuned! The whole family just talks nonstop, it's genetic. They're Italian. He talks to me while I'm reading. I'm like, uh, honey? You know how you hate it when I talk during movies? Yeah, same thing here...... I don't know how he does it, but if I tried to talk that much I'd damage my vocal cords.... :lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

That's a switch! Why am I picturing Bunnie with Joey Tribiani. How YOU doing?

Ray-chelle- What is Dobostorta (looks yummers)? Is it like sorta Doberman? A Doberman tarte? Are you making cake outta my nephew Jake the Dobie? :lol:

All kidding aside, will you come over HERE and make it? Please, oh pretty please????

celiac-mommy Collaborator

:lol: :lol: :lol:

That's a switch! Why am I picturing Bunnie with Joey Tribiani. How YOU doing?

Ray-chelle- What is Dobostorta (looks yummers)? Is it like sorta Doberman? A Doberman tarte? Are you making cake outta my nephew Jake the Dobie? :lol:

All kidding aside, will you come over HERE and make it? Please, oh pretty please????

Doberman tartar.... :unsure:

And.....Someday :)

You know, I can put up a lot 'o people in my house, and I'm known to cook nonstop when we have company (how am I not Italian???). You should all come stay for a vaca!!

jerseyangel Proficient

I now the psillies are the best bunch of peopple I've mostly never met but feel like I have :wub: :wub:

True dat :wub:

but.....I's attemptin to makin a Dobostorta tomorrow....Mmmmmmmmm

dobos.webp

Gawd that looks good :rolleyes:

Has anyone ever told you that you should write a cookbook? :lol::P

Hee Bunnie--you know what I can not do? Listen to CNN and read the scroll at the bottom of the screen at the same time :huh: I don't know, your post reminded me of it :D

Jestgar Rising Star

I have accomplished my to do list for the evening which consisted of:

plug in mp3 player

plug in laptop

I am astonished by my own industriousness....

mushroom Proficient

I have accomplished my to do list for the evening...

Aim high and you will always hit high (lol).

Jestgar Rising Star

Aim high and you will always hit high (lol).

and, as a bonus!!! I have finished the bag of pretzels so now I don't have to be concerned that I will eat them.

jerseyangel Proficient

and, as a bonus!!! I have finished the bag of pretzels so now I don't have to be concerned that I will eat them.

A multitasker! :D

mushroom Proficient

Well, that should reduce your stress levels considerably!

DingoGirl Enthusiast

...

but.....I's attemptin to makin a Dobostorta tomorrow....Mmmmmmmmm

dobos.webp

:o what in hell IS that? I want it NOW!!! Doberman tartar? bring it on!!!! (with ganache, of course) ;)

You know, I can put up a lot 'o people in my house, and I'm known to cook nonstop when we have company (how am I not Italian???). You should all come stay for a vaca!!

don't tempt me........I'll be drivin' up with a Kitteh and a Sweet Oui-zell in no time :wub: (they are both real People Persons :) )

and, as a bonus!!! I have finished the bag of pretzels so now I don't have to be concerned that I will eat them.

:lol: :lol: Um.........I do this ANY time I bring something EVILLE into my house.......if you eat it all in one day, you just do NOT have to worry about it after that :lol:

FREEZING COLD RAIN here with WINDOWS OPEN - 'tis FABULOUS!!!!!!!!

:rolleyes:

kareng Grand Master

Hee Bunnie--you know what I can not do? Listen to CNN and read the scroll at the bottom of the screen at the same time :huh: I don't know, your post reminded me of it :D

Me either. If I sit with it long enough, it puts me to sleep.

and, as a bonus!!! I have finished the bag of pretzels so now I don't have to be concerned that I will eat them.

Sounds like a busy evening. Motivating me to get moving. :P

:lol: :lol: Um.........I do this ANY time I bring something EVILLE into my house.......if you eat it all in one day, you just do NOT have to worry about it after that :lol:

:rolleyes:

If you eat it right away, you don't have to share!

nikki-uk Enthusiast

.....I's attemptin to makin a Dobostorta tomorrow....Mmmmmmmmm

dobos.webp

:P

Bloody hail Raech!!...HOW do you not EAT everything you make...it all looks so fantastically delicious!!!!!!!

The book is a fabulous ideer!! :D

He talks to me while I'm reading. I'm like, uh, honey? You know how you hate it when I talk during movies? Yeah, same thing here......

:lol: My son does this..... it's all (IMO) non - important/could wait noise.....I tell my son not to, he apologises....then continues to do it! :rolleyes:

and, as a bonus!!! I have finished the bag of pretzels so now I don't have to be concerned that I will eat them.

This is the only way

*high five* on the charging of electrical goods Geoss!!!..... I myselph consider it a great achievement (gaaawd, charging the ipod requires a torch AND a magnifying glass to get the usb thingy in the hole :blink:)

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Get Celiac.com Updates:
    Support Celiac.com:
    Donate

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):
    Celiac.com Sponsor (A17):





    Celiac.com Sponsors (A17-M):




  • Recent Activity

    1. - Jess270 replied to AnnaNZ's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      29

      Bitters for digestion?

    2. - cristiana commented on Jefferson Adams's article in Origins of Celiac Disease
      7

      Why Bananas No Longer Cure Celiac Disease

    3. - trents replied to Dawn Meyers's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      23

      Vaccines

    4. - GeoPeanut replied to Dawn Meyers's topic in Related Issues & Disorders
      23

      Vaccines

    5. - trents replied to KRipple's topic in Celiac Disease Pre-Diagnosis, Testing & Symptoms
      1

      Celiac or Addison's complications? Can someone share their experience?


  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A19):



  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      128,054
    • Most Online (within 30 mins)
      7,748

    Carlie
    Newest Member
    Carlie
    Joined

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A20):


  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      121k
    • Total Posts
      70.6k

  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A22):





  • Celiac.com Sponsor (A21):



  • Upcoming Events

  • Posts

    • Jess270
      This sounds to me like histamine intolerance. Some foods have more or less histamine. processed or aged meats, fermented food like yoghurt or kimchi and bread (yeast), spinach, eggplant and mushroom are high in histamine. Other foods like tomatoes are histamine liberators, they encourage your mast cells to release histamine, which can also trigger the reactions you describe, flu like symptoms, joint pain, urinary tract irritation, rash, stomach upset, nausea, diarrhoea & fatigue. I had liver pain like you describe, as part of the intolerance is usually a sluggish liver that makes processing all the histamine difficult. There are multiple possible root causes of histamine intolerance, usually it’s a symptom of something else. In my case, leaky gut (damaged gut wall)caused by undiagnosed celiac, but for others it’s leaky gut caused by other things like dysbiosis. Some people also experience histamine intolerance due to mould exposure or low levels of DAO (the enzyme that breaks down histamine in the gut). I’d try a low histamine diet & if that doesn’t improve symptoms fully, try low oxalate too. As others have suggested, supplements like vitamin d, b, l-glutamine to support a healthy gut & a good liver support supplement too. If you’re in a histamine flare take vitamin c to bowel tolerance & your symptoms will calm down (avoid if you find you have oxalate intolerance though). Best of luck 
    • trents
      @GeoPeanut, milk is one of the better sources of iodine. Iodine is known to exacerbate dermatitis herpetiformis. Many people find that a low iodine diet helps them avoid dermatitis herpetiformis outbreaks. So, maybe the fact that you have limited your dairy intake of late is helping with that.
    • GeoPeanut
      Hi, I'm new here. Sorry for your troubles.herenis a thought to mull over. I recently was diagnosed with celiac disease,  and hashimoto's and dermatitis herpetiformis after getting covid 19. I eat butter, and 1/2 cup of Nancy's yogurt daily. I stopped all other dairy and  dermatitis herpetiformis is gone! I also make grass fed beef bone broth to help with myopathy that has occurred. 
    • trents
      Welcome to the forum, @KRipple! Sorry to hear of all your husband's health problems. I can only imagine how anxious this makes you as when our spouse suffers we hurt right along with them. Can you post the results from the Celiac blood testing for us to look at? We would need the names of the tests run, the numeric results and (this is important) the reference ranges for each test used to establish high/low/negative/positive. Different labs use different rating scales so this is why I ask for this. There aren't industry standards. Has your husband seen any improvement from eliminating gluten from his diet? If your husband had any positive results from his celiac blood antibody testing, this is likely what triggered the consult with a  GI doc for an endoscopy. During the endoscopy, the GI doc will likely biopsy the lining of the small bowel lining to check for the damage caused by celiac disease. This would be for confirmation of the results of the blood tests and is considered the gold standard of celiac disease diagnosis. But here is some difficult information I have for you. If your husband has been gluten free already for months leading up to the endoscopy/biopsy, it will likely invalidate the biopsy and result in a false negative. Starting the gluten free diet now will allow the lining of the small bowel to begin healing and if enough healing takes place before the biopsy happens, there will be no damage to see. How far out is the endoscopy scheduled for? There still may be time for your husband to go back on gluten, what we call a "gluten challenge" to ensure valid test results.
    • kate g
      Ive read articles that there is stage 2 research being conducted for drugs that will limit damage to celiacs through cross contamination- how close are they to this will there be enough funding to create a mainstream drug? 
×
×
  • Create New...