The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[elye]

... . .. . ....Allbone...... . . ..Prick... . .sluts... . . . ...

Whot in hell?

:lol:

[JenAnderson]

I have to go find that book! Prick... Allbone....sluts.... LMAO

[kareng]

My hub just asked if we could have a ferret. D

[jerseyangel]

Welcome to sillyville, Jennifer

Did youse guys know that Burts Bees changed their shampoo ingredients big time? I'm really sensitive to perfumes and such and the one I've used for several years went from containing lots of natural oils to "fragrance".

I've been feeling off--migraines, stumbling around for the right words, b%$@#ier than usual, bloated.....I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out what's up and it dawns on me that the shampoo/conditioner bottles have changed. I run in and have a look and sure enough--the ingredients are different. Not a little different--a lot! Even the 'percentage of natural' they put at the bottom of the bottle is different (less).

This happens to me with certain chemicals--especially perfumes and fragrances--but also Splenda. I know you guys understand--sometimes I just get so sick of this

Anywho...The Real Housewives of New Jersey start their second season tomorrow night--I'm so (embarrassingly) excited

Em, I'm really so glad to hear that your mom is doing better. I pray that her eyesight also improves so she can go back to enjoying all of the things that she likes to do.

[jerseyangel]

My hub just asked if we could have a ferret. D

Interesting request.....

[mushroom]

My hub just asked if we could have a ferret. D

Did ya ask if t'was a hob or a slut he was after???

Psills, I have a confession. Whilst I was sitting at my 'puter writing the story I could nae remember da man's name, just knew it began with a "P" and Prick seemed somehow so apropos , so to speak. Now that I have gone back to finishing the book I find that actually it is Pitmore - I know, spoils da whole story, but did not want Jen to think I was a liar ya know, in case she akshally finds a copy of da book somewheres, which I kinda doubt because very few Kiwi authors make it onto the shelves of American libraries and bookstores.... and I know this because I have looked for them. There, have cleared me conscience.... All da rest is true

[elye]

. . .. . 'Tsokay, Shroomie.. . ... ..Pitmore, really, is almost as phunnee. . . . .....

Welcome, Jenanderson! Um...yes, this sounds right........canna CHECK to be certain if this is yer name, as we no longer have past posts immediately below us for reference purposes. .. . ... ...

Gah... . . because of this loss, my posts are now short, unphunny and completely lacking in substance and interest.... ..who knew that I spent so much time checking what people had said before me, who said what, and why... . . . .. . .'twas like a part-time job, really. Now I read new posts with an intensity unknown to me previously, trying to burn every name and word into my consciousness, repeating words and phrases aloud as I go, with the hope that it will all be retained when I am away from it all, alone in the reply window .... . .. ... .....

"Now wait.. .. ......was the name "slut' or "sloth"? . .. ...who's currently drinking wodka? Is it Patteigh who's bloated?...."

[kareng]

Every time a fire alarm goes off at the hospital, the local fire department always sends a truck. Now MY neighborhood firefighters are not much to look at, but I'm telling ya, women come from all over the hospital to see these guys when they arrive. I've never seen such a big group of Yum-Yum's (as my papa used to say) If my house was in that neighborhood, I'd be setting sumphin on fire!

We have Yum-Yum fire fighters here. When the boys were Cub Scouts, we would tour the fire station. The moms would be drooling.

Welcome to sillyville, Jennifer

Did youse guys know that Burts Bees changed their shampoo ingredients big time? I'm really sensitive to perfumes and such and the one I've used for several years went from containing lots of natural oils to "fragrance".

Anywho...The Real Housewives of New Jersey start their second season tomorrow night--I'm so (embarrassingly) excited

Em, I'm really so glad to hear that your mom is doing better. I pray that her eyesight also improves so she can go back to enjoying all of the things that she likes to do.

Hi Jen!

Sucks about the Burt's Bees. I would have expected better of them. I think, maybe,not positive, I saw on another post that Burt's was bought out by a BIG company.

Yeah NJ Housewives!

]canna CHECK to be certain if this is yer name, as we no longer have past posts immediately below us for reference purposes. .. . ... ...

I must take notes. Boys must think Mom has gone even madder than usual when they see them beside the computer. "sluts" "stumps" "Burt's Bees"

[kareng]

I think this is my 500th post!

Boy do I talk too much!

[Jestgar]

I think this is my 500th post!

Boy do I talk too much!

WOOOHOOO!!! Be sure to update us on what calamity befalls you today. Something with phluids.....

[kareng]

WOOOHOOO!!! Be sure to update us on what calamity befalls you today. Something with phluids.....

Oh no! Is the 500th post the "Phluid calamity" anniversary? I'm getting my hair colored today!

[jerseyangel]

Oh no! Is the 500th post the "Phluid calamity" anniversary? I'm getting my hair colored today!

Oh boy! I'm makin popcorn and gettin a ring side seat

[JNBunnie1]

Oh no! Is the 500th post the "Phluid calamity" anniversary? I'm getting my hair colored today!

Pretty much any big rollover post, 500, 1000, 10,00 for crazy posters!!

So I should hear today or tomorrow whether I got that job I applied for. Waiting on tenterhooks! Would be waiting with crossed fingers, but I can't cross my fingers. Hurts. Weird, huh?

[celiac-mommy]

So I should hear today or tomorrow whether I got that job I applied for. Waiting on tenterhooks! Would be waiting with crossed fingers, but I can't cross my fingers. Hurts. Weird, huh?

Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!!! Good luck!!!!!

So, the stuff that's been coming outta my son's mouth these days :blink: I'm sure y'all-'cept Shroomie -saw what he said yesterday, I shall repeat..."Ewwwww, dogs lick their own bottoms, I am NOT going to be a dog when I grow up!" That prompted me to ask what he did want to be when he grew up. He's going back and forth between a mouse and a policeman. Why you may ask.... Well, a policeman carries a gun, duh! And a mouse because they can go anywhere and spy on people..... UhOh!!

Today, he saw 2 guys kiss on TV, (nothing obscene ) and he says, "WHAT?? How does that work? Why would one guy kiss another guy?" I said, "Well, I guess that one guy really loves the other guy" He says, "Uh, OK..."

And his 2 new obsessions, The Princess Bride and photography. I have to say, he's a pretty good photographer for being 4 MY new obsession is the new Cricut Cake decorator--I WANT I WANT IT WANT!!!!! I was in Michaels yesterday and there was a gal doing a demonstration. I sttod there for as long as I could and asked her a ton of questions before Jesse started to drag me away As he's pulling me out the door, she winks and says, "I'll be here every Sunday, come back and see me!" I will soooo be back!!

I'm done wif the painting, now I have to go in and scrub, scrub, scrub that stupid floor Pray for me that I don't need to dip into my Valium stash--I'm running out! And I have to start a fire engine cake for a kid's party this weekend!

[JNBunnie1]

Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!!! Good luck!!!!!

So, the stuff that's been coming outta my son's mouth these days :blink: I'm sure y'all-'cept Shroomie -saw what he said yesterday, I shall repeat..."Ewwwww, dogs lick their own bottoms, I am NOT going to be a dog when I grow up!" That prompted me to ask what he did want to be when he grew up. He's going back and forth between a mouse and a policeman. Why you may ask.... Well, a policeman carries a gun, duh! And a mouse because they can go anywhere and spy on people..... UhOh!!

Today, he saw 2 guys kiss on TV, (nothing obscene ) and he says, "WHAT?? How does that work? Why would one guy kiss another guy?" I said, "Well, I guess that one guy really loves the other guy" He says, "Uh, OK..."

And his 2 new obsessions, The Princess Bride and photography. I have to say, he's a pretty good photographer for being 4 MY new obsession is the new Cricut Cake decorator--I WANT I WANT IT WANT!!!!! I was in Michaels yesterday and there was a gal doing a demonstration. I sttod there for as long as I could and asked her a ton of questions before Jesse started to drag me away As he's pulling me out the door, she winks and says, "I'll be here every Sunday, come back and see me!" I will soooo be back!!

I'm done wif the painting, now I have to go in and scrub, scrub, scrub that stupid floor Pray for me that I don't need to dip into my Valium stash--I'm running out! And I have to start a fire engine cake for a kid's party this weekend!

Y'know, if I didn't live on the opposite coast from you, I would TOTALLY come make dinner for you. Crap, you stay busy!!!! Friggin wonderwoman, I feel like a slacker...

[kareng]

Hair coloring went fine. Color is good & hair still on head.

I'll try to keep some fingers crossed for you, Bunnie.

[celiac-mommy]

Y'know, if I didn't live on the opposite coast from you, I would TOTALLY come make dinner for you. Crap, you stay busy!!!! Friggin wonderwoman, I feel like a slacker...

And I would TOTALLY take you up on it!! It's a good thing I only work (outside the home) 3 days a week, otherwise, I'd be screwed!! After this bathroom is done, I think we'll be done with inside projects for the spring/summer. Then I can concentrate on my garden and my baking, AND having ma-jah fun wif my kids--if they can't stop fighting long enough to quit being banished to their rooms!

[elye]

I think this is my 500th post!

Crap. . . . . .think there's been some Powers-Above confusion, and I have gotten Kherrighnne's phluid onslaught. Noticed Elsie throwing her bum onto the floor, dragging it around. . . . .to the vet we've been, and her VERRRRRRRRY FULL ANAL GLANDS EXPRESSED. She is looking much relieved, but disgusted and embarrassed, as ONLY a sub-standard poodle can manage.......

So, the stuff that's been coming outta my son's mouth these days

....Hey! Better than the stuff that's just come outta me big dog's bum. . . ....!!

Rah-shyelle! That DS o' your'n is the coolest. . . . . ......I wanna be a mouse, as well.. . . .. ...what was the other thing he chose.. .. ..?.. . ..canna recall......and CANNOT CHECK......... . . .thought I had it memorized.... . ..

So I should hear today or tomorrow whether I got that job I applied for. Waiting on tenterhooks!

You got it, Bhughnnie.. . . ....can just feel it.. . .... ...

[mushroom]

. . .. . 'Tsokay, Shroomie.. . ... ..Pitmore, really, is almost as phunnee. . . . .....

Well, I finished the book, and by the end, as you say, either name would have been MOST appropriate Those 19th century peeps were no better than today's toerags

Welcome, Jenanderson! Um...yes, this sounds right........canna CHECK to be certain if this is yer name, as we no longer have past posts immediately below us for reference purposes. .. . ... ...

Gah... . . because of this loss, my posts are now short, unphunny and completely lacking in substance and interest.... ..who knew that I spent so much time checking what people had said before me, who said what, and why... . . . .. . .'twas like a part-time job, really. Now I read new posts with an intensity unknown to me previously, trying to burn every name and word into my consciousness, repeating words and phrases aloud as I go, with the hope that it will all be retained when I am away from it all, alone in the reply window .... . .. ... .....

"Now wait.. .. ......was the name "slut' or "sloth"? . .. ...who's currently drinking wodka? Is it Patteigh who's bloated?...."

Yeah, it's just one of Skaught's tricks to try to get us to spend even more time here so we can spend time reading the adverTISEments, like "Craving glutenfree kisses?" What used to be a part-time job is turning into a full-time job, with new strategies constantly being invented to get the job done. Training our memory powers in the process. My latest stratagem whilst in a hurry is to make notes in wordpad whilst reading and then cut and paste

We have Yum-Yum fire fighters here. When the boys were Cub Scouts, we would tour the fire station. The moms would be drooling.

Sucks about the Burt's Bees. I would have expected better of them. I think, maybe, not positive, I saw on another post that Burt's was bought out by a BIG company.

We don't have yum-yum firefighters here (Well, some aren't bad) - they are our volunteer friends and neighbours, some of whom I would not want mouth-to-mouth from, thank ya

Bah to Burt's Bees!! Ya can't trust any company any more. Although... I actually get a lotta help from Vodaphone (who bought out our ISP ) the other day, but he was a Keewee, not from India or the Philippines, and did have some idea of what he was talking about in an understandable accent (well, to me, anyways; Clay turned him over to me cos he was having trouble )

So I should hear today or tomorrow whether I got that job I applied for. Waiting on tenterhooks! Would be waiting with crossed fingers, but I can't cross my fingers. Hurts. Weird, huh?

I tried crossing mine for ya, too but I can't either. BUNNEE, if they don't hire you dey is nuts!!!

So, the stuff that's been coming outta my son's mouth these days :blink: I'm sure y'all-'cept Shroomie -saw what he said yesterday, I shall repeat..."Ewwwww, dogs lick their own bottoms, I am NOT going to be a dog when I grow up!" That prompted me to ask what he did want to be when he grew up. He's going back and forth between a mouse and a policeman. Why you may ask.... Well, a policeman carries a gun, duh! And a mouse because they can go anywhere and spy on people..... UhOh!!

I love what pops out of kids mouths. When I was five and had just started school the teacher asked us what we wanted to be. One of my classmates wanted to be a carpenter.... or a thief Teacher wisely didn't ask why? But a mouse is verrry creative, kinda like the proverbial fly on the wall, only sneakier. Cos you *always* know when there's a fly around

And, nobody told me about my sex change op -- no wonder I've been having some, uh, 'problems' lately

My kitteh looks at her bum and says, Eeeeww, do I gotta do this? How distasteful!! Clay keeps threatening to crutch her like a sheep, she's soooo fluffy!!! We try to keep her constipated so she has littleBIG rabbit droppings.

Emmel, say a big cheery hello to your mom from all us psillies and tell her we are thinking of her. I will do her crosswords for her till she can do them herself again

[JNBunnie1]

You got it, Bhughnnie.. . . ....can just feel it.. . .... ...

Well, I guess you were right, because....

I GOT THE JOB!!!!

I bought myself three books at Walmart to celebrate!!!

[Jestgar]

Well, I guess you were right, because....

I GOT THE JOB!!!!

I bought myself three books at Walmart to celebrate!!!

Because you are totally awesome!!

[jerseyangel]

I GOT THE JOB!!!!

I had a feeling!! Congratulations, Bunnie--they are lucky to have you aboard!!

[mushroom]

Y A H O O !!!!

[JNBunnie1]

I had a feeling!! Congratulations, Bunnie--they are lucky to have you aboard!!

You guys rock... alla yous guys....

The funny part was that the lady called while I was in Stew Leonard's and I LOST MY *HIT after I hung up, so everyone was staring at the crazy lady jumping around. Oh well.

[elye]

YYYYAAAAAAAAAYYYY, BHUNN-BHUNN!!

Um, you'd best establish very quickly your need to be online frequently... . . . . ...on wif US.. . . .... .