The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Darn210]

putting binder away on the shelf storage above the desks. We have no room in our office, there is barely room underneath my desk for my feet. There are lab kits and stuff under there.

Oh Amanda, you can do better than that! Nobody will be able to verify you answer!

How about . . . she was getting ready to drop a water balloon on the person in the next cube?

Or . . . She was checking the next cube to see if anyone was there 'cause she was getting ready to let one rip?

Or . . . She was helping the other three technical trials people change the light bulb . . . How many trial techs does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change the light bulb and the other three to . . .document the side effects? . . . I don't know, anybody got a punch line?

[elye]

Nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine bottles and cans in the trunk, nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine bottles and cans. At ten cents a bottle and ten cents a can, we're pulling in five hundred dollars a man.....

Patti, I wish I had this song when I volunteered to go out with my daughter's hockey team on a bottle drive, knocking on doors. Would've been a GREAT marching song!

Okay, brainiacs...time for some dreaded MATH..... Speaking of daughter, she is struggling at the kitchen table as we speak with her algebra (shudder...). I've put in a heroic effort helping her, and I did stumble, correctly, through a couple of them. But this one we cannot get. It's beginning to haunt me, this final question:

A mother is three times as old as her daughter. Six years ago, she was five times as old as her daughter. How old are the mother and daughter now?

Owwww....my little brain...

Why can't they be giving our kids more interesting problems to solve?!

Robert Goulet is eating a container of emerald nuts. He gets it half eaten. If Richard Simmons then does fifty minutes of aerobics with him, and a minute of aerobic activity burns nine calories...

Y'know, something like that.

[Darn210]

YES! I want to work there....what kind of food?

Look what I just found!!!! OMG

Open Original Shared Link

Last night, on some entertainment gossip show, they asked Wildenstein what she thought of Britney's new lip injection....her answer was uninteligible.......

I don't believe I'm familiar with her . . . and OMG what a sideshow! . . . and her dog looked scared to death of her!

[nikki-uk]

Ooops - post is further down

[blueeyedmanda]

Food--all kinds, today I brought in pepperoni and cheese and crackers, gluten-free for me and they enjoyed the crackers too.

With Halloween coming everyone brings in a bag of candy a day. So yesterday we had nerds, junior mints, and sweet tarts, smarties.

You guys can all join me at work, you all would fit right in.

[Darn210]

Patti, I wish I had this song when I volunteered to go out with my daughter's hockey team on a bottle drive, knocking on doors. Would've been a GREAT marching song!

Okay, brainiacs...time for some dreaded MATH..... Speaking of daughter, she is struggling at the kitchen table as we speak with her algebra (shudder...). I've put in a heroic effort helping her, and I did stumble, correctly, through a couple of them. But this one we cannot get. It's beginning to haunt me, this final question:

A mother is three times as old as her daughter. Six years ago, she was five times as old as her daughter. How old are the mother and daughter now?

Owwww....my little brain...

Why can't they be giving our kids more interesting problems to solve?!

Robert Goulet is eating a container of emerald nuts. He gets it half eaten. If Richard Simmons then does fifty minutes of aerobics with him, and a minute of aerobic activity burns nine calories...

Y'know, something like that.

x = daughter

y = mother

3x=y

(y-6)=5(x-6)

x=12

y=36

Oh, I got a little thrill there . . .

[nikki-uk]

Has anyone else noticed Patti is just getting funnier & funnier??

Must be the stress of upcoming move

Okay, brainiacs...time for some dreaded MATH.....

Nope, sorry don't do Maths - brain simply cannot cope

[DingoGirl]

I don't believe I'm familiar with her . . . and OMG what a sideshow! . . . and her dog looked scared to death of her!

OMG - here's something quite fun to to. Just google Jocelyn Wildenstein - you will NOT believe how beautiful and normal looking she once was, and what she became....it's been a fascination of my paltry little circle of friends for quite some time now.

x = daughter

y = mother

3x=y

(y-6)=5(x-6)

x=12

y=36

no no, you're wrong - -

it's this

x = 23784629

y = dgw899239

x + y + 9(weoi5y24nj459387snfkdh)

and so the answer is

x + 3rhwp;875ios837918y4 @&#%@&%#*&@#^*

THAT Is the correct answer.

Yes, Patti IS getting funnier!!! clearly she is delirious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TriticusToxicum]

YES! I want to work there....what kind of food?

Look what I just found!!!! OMG

Open Original Shared Link

Last night, on some entertainment gossip show, they asked Wildenstein what she thought of Britney's new lip injection....her answer was uninteligible.......

I wondered whatever happened to that kid. He was in that movie with Cher, right? "Mask" I think was the title?

[TriticusToxicum]

A mother is three times as old as her daughter. Six years ago, she was five times as old as her daughter. How old are the mother and daughter now?

...Old enough to be struggling with algebra homework?

[Darn210]

no no, you're wrong - -

it's this

x = 23784629

y = dgw899239

x + y + 9(weoi5y24nj459387snfkdh)

and so the answer is

x + 3rhwp;875ios837918y4 @&#%@&%#*&@#^*

THAT Is the correct answer.

Oh yes, you're quite correct. I see where I went wrong . . . forgot to cube the inverse of the factorial.

[elye]

I can't think of anything I would want pluralized more than MATH. One is enough....

Thank you, Janet, Queen Algebra Woman! My daughter had said that her teacher wanted them to have only one unknown in each problem, so I was trying to figure it as daughter being x, mother being 3x. But your way works with a y, so she's done it that way. The hell with said mathS teacher, I say!

Give me dangling participles any day!

[blueeyedmanda]

Give me dangling participles any day!

LOL

[DingoGirl]

Oh yes, you're quite correct. I see where I went wrong . . . forgot to cube the inverse of the factorial.

now listen here, missy, that kinda talk can get you kicked OUT of this thread!

("inverse of the factorial" made my brain hurt)

I can't think of anything I would want pluralized more than MATH. One is enough....

Thank you, Janet, Queen Algebra Woman! My daughter had said that her teacher wanted them to have only one unknown in each problem, so I was trying to figure it as daughter being x, mother being 3x. But your way works with a y, so she's done it that way. The hell with said mathS teacher, I say!

:huh:

you mean.....it actually WAS the correct answer?

Richard - yes - Wildenstein the long-lost mother of the Mask character. good Lord - - she thinks she's attractive........

[TriticusToxicum]

Give me dangling participles any day!

didn't you get the memo? Robert Goulet and his Emerald Nuts are in the hospital.

[nikki-uk]

Oh yes, you're quite correct. I see where I went wrong . . . forgot to cube the inverse of the factorial.

Excellent wordage Janet !!

God! I'm crap at MathS

.....and Gus looks even more handsome in the new pic....regal almost

[TriticusToxicum]

I bid you all adieu. I will be away tomorrow. <sniffle> Painting my parent's house...no internet there...<sniffle>

Have fun. Carry on. HOLY SNOT! Richard Simmons is here! and wait...He's brought a trailer load of devotees! I'm outta here!

[blueeyedmanda]

didn't you get the memo? Robert Goulet and his Emerald Nuts are in the hospital.

You know I work at a large hospital, so if Robert Goulet does not feel he is getting the care he deserves he can always be transferred to my hospital...we give World Class Care!

[Darn210]

you mean.....it actually WAS the correct answer?

I told you I was much more gooder with numbers!

Richard - yes - Wildenstein the long-lost mother of the Mask character. good Lord - - she thinks she's attractive........

Looking at her makes my face hurt. And I feel the need to apply chapstick.

[Darn210]

.....and Gus looks even more handsome in the new pic....regal almost

And have you noticed . . . his eyes follow you . . . he's always looking at me no matter which way I move.

I bid you all adieu. I will be away tomorrow. <sniffle> Painting my parent's house...no internet there...<sniffle>

Have fun. Carry on. HOLY SNOT! Richard Simmons is here! and wait...He's brought a trailer load of devotees! I'm outta here!

Don't get your panties in a bunch . . . I'm sure he's harmless . . . as long as you do as he says.

[elye]

HOLY SNOT Richard Simmons is here! and wait...He's brought a trailer load of devote!es! I'm outta here!

Quick! Pull out your leotard, Richard!!

[jerseyangel]

Patti, I wish I had this song when I volunteered to go out with my daughter's hockey team on a bottle drive, knocking on doors. Would've been a GREAT marching song!

Yes--perfect for the bottle drive...except once you hear it, it's hard to get it out of your head

and her dog looked scared to death of her!

That's exactly what I thought. I've seen her before on Entertainment Tonight--sad.

x = daughter

y = mother

3x=y

(y-6)=5(x-6)

x=12

y=36

Oh, I got a little thrill there . . .

Wow--very impressive

Has anyone else noticed Patti is just getting funnier & funnier??

Must be the stress of upcoming move

Just lettin' my hair down a little

I bid you all adieu. I will be away tomorrow. <sniffle> Painting my parent's house...no internet there...<sniffle>

Careful on those ladders!

[elye]

Yes, Gus does possess this Mona Lisa-type stare. I cannot decide...he either looks quite refined and regal, or colossally stupid.

Trying to get my two kids together for an avatar pic. Alas, my daughter keeps racing way, her hands over her head, shouting, "NO! NO! I've got zits!"

Gad, who doesn't? She may have zits, but she's also got her algebra done. And hey, why don't my kids ever have homework like, "find the dangling participles and split infinitives in the following sentences"...Then I could create the illusion that I'm brainy. All this math coming home, they think I'm rather dim...

[DingoGirl]

I bid you all adieu. I will be away tomorrow. <sniffle> Painting my parent's house...no internet there...<sniffle>

oh holy heinosity! painting a house!! we will miss you. BTW I love Richard Simmons. not kidding. he's very entertaining, esp. on David Letterman.

I have a very heinous project of stripping old mahogany HUGE dining table and 10 large chairs that go with it, then distressing/painting all of this to look quite old and Scandinavian. in this stepford community I have a ONE-CAR garage. (absurd) So, the table will take up the entire garage for as long as it takes me to do it.

Helpers? anyone? I cannot seem to bring myself to do this horrid task.

Looking at her makes my face hurt. And I feel the need to apply chapstick.

or burn salve......

Yes, Gus's eyes DO follow you, don't they? like a painting in a Dickensian mansion.... and he DOES look regal!

all right, must head to that happy place we know as TArget. But it can be very dangerous, so this will be a very quick trip, STRAIGHT to the container area. In and out, no diversions.

Back later.

[jerseyangel]

Yes, Gus does possess this Mona Lisa-type stare. I cannot decide...he either looks quite refined and regal, or colossally stupid.

Gus looks quite the scholarly gentleman--he needs a pipe and a tweed jacket with patches on the elbows. Or thereabouts, since I don't think dogs have elbows

I have a picture of Allo that actually resembles Gus in this pose. Gotta get to the other computer--the pic is there.....be right back.