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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

Stay away from haunted houses this weekend.

We have a nice lady ghost in our house now. She really likes my daughter and seems to tease both kids. She freaked the crap out of my son though. I was in the room when it happened. He was on the floor playing and he reached forward to grab another pillow and the pillow flipped over away from him. I've never seen him move so fast in my life! She seems to have left him alone since. She calls my dd's name frequently. It doesn't bother dd, she just always comes in the kitchen and says "What?"

I say, "What, What??"

She says, "You called me..."

I say, "Nope"

She says, "Hmmmm, OK" Then goes about her business.

The house I lived in from kindergarten-3rd grade was so freakily haunted that my mom had our priest come check it out. He managed to release the 'spirit(s)' that day. The crazy thing was that we never told anyone about the stuff that happened there, didn't want people to think we were crazy, but the neighbors above our house asked my mom a few days later if something happened on this certain day at this certain time.... Mom asked why and they said that they were sitting out on their front porch and they heard this wailing sound that appeared to be coming from our house then moved upwards, past their house, up into the 'sky' Said it sounded like children crying...

Spooky!

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elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

When my mom was rehabbing and in a nursing home, I think my dad was enjoying his time home alone.

My mom was the same way.. . ..she'd spend the day at the hospital with my dad, then go back to their apartment and insist on being by herself for the evening and overnight.

I think that is when she began experimenting with the Sharpies.. . . . ...

We have a nice lady ghost in our house now.

OMG.. . ..your ghost stories absolutely fascinate and captivate me, Rah-shyelllle. The perfectly written "hello" (was that the word?) in the steam on your shower door. . . . .... ...(((((((goooooosebumps))))))). . . . . . . . ...:unsure:

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

My mom was the same way.. . ..she'd spend the day at the hospital with my dad, then go back to their apartment and insist on being by herself for the evening and overnight.

I think that is when she began experimenting with the Sharpies.. . . . ...

Don't think my dad used any Sharpies.

Loey Rising Star
Loey
Posted

We have a nice lady ghost in our house now. She really likes my daughter and seems to tease both kids. She freaked the crap out of my son though. I was in the room when it happened. He was on the floor playing and he reached forward to grab another pillow and the pillow flipped over away from him. I've never seen him move so fast in my life! She seems to have left him alone since. She calls my dd's name frequently. It doesn't bother dd, she just always comes in the kitchen and says "What?"

I say, "What, What??"

She says, "You called me..."

I say, "Nope"

She says, "Hmmmm, OK" Then goes about her business.

The house I lived in from kindergarten-3rd grade was so freakily haunted that my mom had our priest come check it out. He managed to release the 'spirit(s)' that day. The crazy thing was that we never told anyone about the stuff that happened there, didn't want people to think we were crazy, but the neighbors above our house asked my mom a few days later if something happened on this certain day at this certain time.... Mom asked why and they said that they were sitting out on their front porch and they heard this wailing sound that appeared to be coming from our house then moved upwards, past their house, up into the 'sky' Said it sounded like children crying...

Spooky!

Glad to hear it's a nice ghost. The Exorcist is Souperman's favorite movie. I can't even count the number of times we've watched it. We visited the house in Georgetown and walked down the stairs. I was a lot younger and healthier then - thankfully no Ataxia yet.

Loey ohmy.gif

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

I think that is when she began experimenting with the Sharpies.. . . . ...

Twas a brilliant idea, it was!! My sideburns have never looked so great! :P

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Looks like BIL is having annual Halloween party Sat. Must have costumes. Last 2 years I went as a " pretty" witch. Previous I went as Sally & hub went as Jack Skeleton.

I want an easy, comfy costume for an overweight, out of shape older woman. One of the football moms needs a costume, too. ( different party, lady hosting hates my hub cause he thinks he is one of the ones responsible for his getting fired - can't blame himself and his corruption).. We thought we might go as housewives from this area. Workout clothes and lots of jewelry and makeup and fixed hair. I had a neighbor who used to mow her lawn in pressed jeans or khaki shorts, cute top, low heels and a beautiful silver bead necklace with matching bracelet and earrings. I'm afraid they won't think that is much of an effort. I can't eat all the delicious food, I should at least be comfy. Good thing is BIL is a huge hard cider fan & wife likes wine.

I cpuld wear my Top Chef jacket and get some scrub pants with a food pattern. It's a bit hot, temperature wise but easy to wear. What should hub be? Padma? A chef's knife? :)

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

Depends on his shape. A skillet? Or you could borrow some of J's football gear, go as a frontrow lineman :o:lol:, hub could be the ref.

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Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Hub could go as 'employed' and you could be the kept woman. :P

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

I had a neighbor who used to mow her lawn in pressed jeans or khaki shorts, cute top, low heels and a beautiful silver bead necklace with matching bracelet and earrings.

OMG. . . ... .. . ...:lol: This somehow strikes me as heelarryus . ... . . . ... sounds very like Soooozle's neighboUr, and she would have me in stitches whilst describing her... ... .. . . :lol:

Or you could borrow some of J's football gear, go as a frontrow lineman :o:lol:, hub could be the ref.

I was thinking of exactly the same thing.. . . . . ...Kherrighnne, just grab yer son's pads, helmet, jock, sweater and pants, and you're a cornerback! DH is the ref - - sporting dark glasses and carrying a white cane, of course. . . .. ..... :rolleyes:

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted

Heard one at the bus stop . . . wear pink sweats and tie a shoe to the top of yer head . . . then you're bubble gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. Hub could walk around chewing big wads of gum and blowing bubbles. If he wanted to be more authentic, he could actually spit his gum out on the floor of your BIL's house and stick some under the coffee table and various other pieces of furniture.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Depends on his shape. A skillet? Or you could borrow some of J's football gear, go as a frontrow lineman :o:lol:, hub could be the ref.

:P

Hub could go as 'employed' and you could be the kept woman. :P

That would be too realistic. ;)

I was thinking of exactly the same thing.. . . . . ...Kherrighnne, just grab yer son's pads, helmet, jock, sweater and pants, and you're a cornerback! DH is the ref - - sporting dark glasses and carrying a white cane, of course. . . .. ..... :rolleyes:

Like the cane idea! We had a couple of blind refs a few weeks ago.

Heard one at the bus stop . . . wear pink sweats and tie a shoe to the top of yer head . . . then you're bubble gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. Hub could walk around chewing big wads of gum and blowing bubbles. If he wanted to be more authentic, he could actually spit his gum out on the floor of your BIL's house and stick some under the coffee table and various other pieces of furniture.

Do you think the bubble gum goes with beer? Cause if it interfers with the beer....

Loey Rising Star
Loey
Posted

Looks like BIL is having annual Halloween party Sat. Must have costumes. Last 2 years I went as a " pretty" witch. Previous I went as Sally & hub went as Jack Skeleton.

I want an easy, comfy costume for an overweight, out of shape older woman. One of the football moms needs a costume, too. ( different party, lady hosting hates my hub cause he thinks he is one of the ones responsible for his getting fired - can't blame himself and his corruption).. We thought we might go as housewives from this area. Workout clothes and lots of jewelry and makeup and fixed hair. I had a neighbor who used to mow her lawn in pressed jeans or khaki shorts, cute top, low heels and a beautiful silver bead necklace with matching bracelet and earrings. I'm afraid they won't think that is much of an effort. I can't eat all the delicious food, I should at least be comfy. Good thing is BIL is a huge hard cider fan & wife likes wine.

I cpuld wear my Top Chef jacket and get some scrub pants with a food pattern. It's a bit hot, temperature wise but easy to wear. What should hub be? Padma? A chef's knife? :)

I'm taking the easy weigh out and have a pirate mask (will cover the shiner if it's not totally gone) and comes with little lady GaGa like finger gloves and a choker. I have a really cool flapper costume I used to wear when Zuperman & I used to go to parties (as well as many costumes from when my 18 year old was growing up). Wish I could send them through osmosis.

Loey hidden-27.gif (now the side of my face is bruised from sleeping on it - WAAAAAAAAAAAA)

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I'm taking the easy weigh out and have a pirate mask (will cover the shiner if it's not totally gone) and comes with little lady GaGa like finger gloves and a choker. I have a really cool flapper costume I used to wear when Zuperman & I used to go to parties (as well as many costumes from when my 18 year old was growing up). Wish I could send them through osmosis.

Loey hidden-27.gif (now the side of my face is bruised from sleeping on it - WAAAAAAAAAAAA)

You could go as a boxer! (like Muhamed Ali not the doggy)

Or tell people you had a face lift. I hear they bruise and swell for a while.

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

I was thinking of exactly the same thing.. . . . . ...Kherrighnne, just grab yer son's pads, helmet, jock, sweater and pants, and you're a cornerback! DH is the ref - - sporting dark glasses and carrying a white cane, of course. . . .. ..... :rolleyes:

Wear the jock on the outside :lol:

Can hubby be a cheerleader? I tried to dress mine up as Snookie, but he didn't go for it...

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Wear the jock on the outside :lol:

I don't even like to touch it if I need to get it out of the wash machine. :ph34r:

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

I don't even like to touch it if I need to get it out of the wash machine. :ph34r:

I totally know what you mean! Had a minor 'phobia' of them in high school, but then I dated an arse who, after baseball practice one day, decided to take it off and toss it in my lap <_< Haven't been able to go near one since! Hoping Max stays with gymnastics and swimming ;)

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I'm thinking Top Chef. I have a white chef coat that says "Top Chef Karen". would be easy and comfortable. Maybe husband could wear a meat suit. :unsure: I wonder where I could find a lobster bib. He could be the diner. He could wear a white shirt and black or khaki pants and be the waiter. My sewing machine is perpetually broken or I could make a little waiter apron. HMMM.. Then if I carry around a plate of food I brought with me, the costume is my cover.

I'm F :ph34r::ph34r::ph34r: ing brillant! (that's for Russells' MIL - See MIL, even the people she associates with are bad).

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

I'm thinking Top Chef. I have a white chef coat that says "Top Chef Karen". would be easy and comfortable. Maybe husband could wear a meat suit. :unsure: I wonder where I could find a lobster bib. He could be the diner. He could wear a white shirt and black or khaki pants and be the waiter. My sewing machine is perpetually broken or I could make a little waiter apron. HMMM.. Then if I carry around a plate of food I brought with me, the costume is my cover.

Perfect! :D

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Hoping Max stays with gymnastics and swimming ;)

We had a world class boy gymnist (SP?) at our high school. Guy was so impressed with his physique he couldn't keep his shirt on. Between classes, would take off his shirt and put it back on 3 minutes later when the next class started.

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

I'm thinking Top Chef. I have a white chef coat that says "Top Chef Karen". would be easy and comfortable. Maybe husband could wear a meat suit. :unsure: I wonder where I could find a lobster bib. He could be the diner. He could wear a white shirt and black or khaki pants and be the waiter. My sewing machine is perpetually broken or I could make a little waiter apron. HMMM.. Then if I carry around a plate of food I brought with me, the costume is my cover.

I'm F :ph34r::ph34r::ph34r: ing brillant! (that's for Russells' MIL - See MIL, even the people she associates with are bad).

That's AWESOME!!! Good Idear ;)

You have nooooooo idea how bad that guy really turned out to be. Then he actually 'friended' me on FB last year. I shot a message back to him saying, 'Are you f'ing serious?! NOT a good idea!' Plus, if my hub ever found him....... bad idea!!! Buuuuuut, nothing 2 years of therapy couldn't cure :rolleyes:

MIL knows all about it too. That was one of our bonding moments years ago. She was also sexually assaulted as a teen. Odd that that was one of the major things we had in common :blink:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Loey hidden-27.gif (now the side of my face is bruised from sleeping on it - WAAAAAAAAAAAA)

Hey! Is the bruise starting to look like something or someone? Michael Jackson, perhaps, or, after a couple of days, Louis Armstrong in full trumpet-blow? Around here you must report any changes to bruises, what/who it is currently resembling......... :rolleyes:

Or tell people you had a face lift. I hear they bruise and swell for a while.

YES! Go as Joan Rivers!

I totally know what you mean! Had a minor 'phobia' of them in high school, but then I dated an arse who, after baseball practice one day, decided to take it off and toss it in my lap <_< Haven't been able to go near one since!

My DD wears a jill during hockey - - goes right where a jock goes for guys, but it is thick cloth that straps around the area. Not nearly as terrifying. Don't suppose Kherrighnne could talk her DS into switching to one o' these. . .. . .. . ...<_<

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

We had a world class boy gymnist (SP?) at our high school. Guy was so impressed with his physique he couldn't keep his shirt on. Between classes, would take off his shirt and put it back on 3 minutes later when the next class started.

:lol::lol::lol:

I can't get him to take his shirt off anywhere outside of home--Like doing quick changes at Target to try on shirts.... Not that I try to get my 5 year old to strip :lol: But at home its a different story. He wears his pajama tops open like Hugh Heffner :lol::lol:

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Hey! Is the bruise starting to look like something or someone? Michael Jackson, perhaps, or, after a couple of days, Louis Armstrong in full trumpet-blow? Around here you must report any changes to bruises, what/who it is currently resembling......... :rolleyes:

My DD wears a jill during hockey - - goes right where a jock goes for guys, but it is thick cloth that straps around the area. Not nearly as terrifying. Don't suppose Kherrighnne could talk her DS into switching to one o' these. . .. . .. . ...<_<

Does the bruise look like Jesus or his mother, Mary? Maybe you could be a saint? :huh:

I'll give you his email & you can convince him. :P

:lol::lol::lol:

I can't get him to take his shirt off anywhere outside of home--Like doing quick changes at Target to try on shirts.... Not that I try to get my 5 year old to strip :lol: But at home its a different story. He wears his pajama tops open like Hugh Heffner :lol::lol:

Just wait until he thinks he has something to show off to the girls! :rolleyes:

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

I'm thinking Top Chef. I have a white chef coat that says "Top Chef Karen". would be easy and comfortable. Maybe husband could wear a meat suit. :unsure: I wonder where I could find a lobster bib. He could be the diner. He could wear a white shirt and black or khaki pants and be the waiter.

Aluminum foil diaper with a "kiss" banner coming in out of it. He's dessert.

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Aluminum foil diaper with a "kiss" banner coming in out of it. He's dessert.

BE withdrawl? ;)

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