The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[kareng]

Returning to being psilly (and I hope I don't offend anyone or get kicked out of my dear psilly thread) Clark and I bought Tony some rather disturbing gifts for Christmas (it's the what do you buy the boy who only wants money). We bought him an "Enormex Condem" (he's still a virgin but always talks about how large he is). We've always been open talking about sex so we thought he'd find it phunny. The back of the package says"to ensure maximum protection from conception this product has been rigorously tested on an African bull elephant before being rinsed out and re-rolled and packaged." Novelty item only. He also asked for a Jesus Action Figure. There are at least 6 on Amazon. Better than a Sarah Palin Bobble Head. The Beatles poster and X-box games we bought him are tame.

Hugs from a blushing Loey who better get down to wrapping gifts before my computer goes all whacky n me again.

Loey

My boys would be mortified. Here's a present my son wants. Would be good for college living. He wants some noise eliminating/ canceling head phones to plug into his iPod. Looks like good ones can be had in the $70-80 range up to the Bose ones for $300. I think if it cancells 87% of the background noise for $70 that's pretty good.

[mushroom]

Hey! Which one??

This one:

[kareng]

This one:

Muffin-Head, his cat, must have mixed his drinks too strong!

[Jestgar]

We bought him an "Enormex Condem" (he's still a virgin but always talks about how large he is). We've always been open talking about sex so we thought he'd find it phunny.

I find this whole concept of openness about sex highly entertaining, coming from a repressed family myself. BE told me last night that his SIL asked him once at a family dinner if he and his previous-long-term-girlfriend had good sex. I just stared at him. "she ASKED you???" In my family we pretend that the whole silly business doesn't exist.

[Loey]

My boys would be mortified. Here's a present my son wants. Would be good for college living. He wants some noise eliminating/ canceling head phones to plug into his iPod. Looks like good ones can be had in the $70-80 range up to the Bose ones for $300. I think if it cancells 87% of the background noise for $70 that's pretty good.

Sounds like a practical gift. He's already in college, right?

Hopefully I didn't mortify you. Tony has always been very open around us. When he was little he asked me if his "pee pee was larger than his dad's" Must be the Spaniard in him.

I just spent two hours wrapping gifts after tutoring my little girl. She's the sweetest thing ever and I really hope I can help her. I'm basically starting her on a kindergarten level for reading even though she would d be in third grade of she wasn't home schooled. I'm getting to use all of the resources I've bought over the last 6 years.

Loey

[Loey]

I find this whole concept of openness about sex highly entertaining, coming from a repressed family myself. BE told me last night that his SIL asked him once at a family dinner if he and his previous-long-term-girlfriend had good sex. I just stared at him. "she ASKED you???" In my family we pretend that the whole silly business doesn't exist.

My mother told me she enjoyed sex. That was when I was in college. She just told me to be safe. Tony has told us on numerous occasions that he could have had sex by now but that's not what he's looking for. He wants something more meaningful. He's never had a girlfriend or been kissed (although he's had girls he liked).

For the past week every night I've had a dream that he has a girlfriend (one took over my kitchen but she cooked gluten-free so I wasn't annoyed in the dream). I wonder if that means anything. His best friend at school is a girl and even though he's done with finals he wants t stay on campus as long as he can. She's from Chicago. I'm going to give him $ for a train ticket to visit his friends in NJ but Chicago is out of the question. She'd be welcome to come up here before the semester starts.

I guess his SIL's family talked openly about sex. Clark gets a little embarrassed but he's the one who found the Enomex Condom. Go Figure!

Loey

[elye]

She's the sweetest thing ever and I really hope I can help her. I'm getting to use all of the resources I've bought over the last 6 years.

Loey

Dear gawd, Low-eee...just don't use that Enormix Condom in any way.. . ..could one use it to help with reading?.. . .Must consider this. . . . . . ...

As a visual aid/puppet of some sort?. . . . .... . . ... . .

[nikki-uk]

Carry on!

Wait...what day is it?

_{Heavy weekend partying}

In my family we pretend that the whole silly business doesn't exist.

We do this in my country

[elye]

_{Heavy weekend partying}

YES! In yer much-touted purple glad rags.. . . . . . ....!

[Loey]

Dear gawd, Low-eee...just don't use that Enormix Condom in any way.. . ..could one use it to help with reading?.. . .Must consider this. . . . . . ...

As a visual aid/puppet of some sort?. . . . .... . . ... . .

It reminded me of a diaphragm when I first saw it. Have I scared our dear Pet-err and GFinDCee away???? I sure hope not! I did pfinish wrapping all of the presents. Then took a looong snooze.

Having Clark's pfriend (recommended the new GI) and wife over for dinner Saturday night. Will be cooking for IBS and Celiac. Thinking of make Chicken Paprikash with either rice or rice noodles. Any other suggestions?

Loey

[Jestgar]

Having Clark's pfriend (recommended the new GI) and wife over for dinner Saturday night. Will be cooking for IBS and Celiac.

Imagining the dinner conversation. :ph34r:

[GFinDC]

:lol:

Gee Eff in Dee Cee is fergettin' hisself over on anuvver thread and being all psillie. Hope he doesn't scare the pholks

See, that's what happens when I try to tell the Gosh honest trooth around hair. Da bar wuz thar, but he didn't et us. Happy ending to the story no? I am just too open and honust a pursein for this gruup, it seams.

Muffin-Head, his cat, must have mixed his drinks too strong!

Hmm, Muffin-head is a good target to blame, I do agree with that. Psillie meow-hed! She alweez has a lot meows in her. And they leak out a lot.

Oh, I wusn't scaret aweigh, except by the thot of M-Lee's new bruiser boyfriend getting pissed at me for not winning her prized monkey skull photo in the art auction. We did purty good until it got to $200 huneredt dullarz M-Lee, then I dropped out and melted away from the bidding. Sorry! I did get some other art though and some great prices too. The auction was well attended by artists, with very few non-artists there to buy things. So it was basically artists bidding against other artists for art. So the prices stayed pretty low, as people were generally not bidding things up. But I got some great deals from it. I got a few pieces from other local artists I know and that always makes them more fun to have. Another artist bought one of my abstract encaustics, so that was nice. Not a bad nite at all. Hey, did yu all know they usually have free wine at these things? hick urp.

Hmm, I needs to pick Poeter's brain about gluten free cat treats the Muffin-hed can eat. She is gluten-free except her treats have barley malt in them. And she really, really likes her treats promptly at 5:00 PM every day. Or the Meowing ensues loudly.

And by the weigh, big snooze. I got a new MS keyboard for my puter, so I can type widout making sew many meatsteaks. My uld un the kleys wood stick down sometimes. No gud, nope, no gud.

[kareng]

Hmm, Muffin-head is a good target to blame, I do agree with that. Psillie meow-hed! She alweez has a lot meows in her. And they leak out a lot.

And by the weigh, big snooze. I got a new MS keyboard for my puter, so I can type widout making sew many meatsteaks. My uld un the kleys wood stick down sometimes. No gud, nope, no gud.

So you're blaming the old keyboard, too.

[Darn210]

I know Treasure Island! We bought our 10 phoot artificial tree there a bunch of years ago that hasn't phit in any house since. Don't recall seeing penile decorations at the time ....shoulda looked harder hee! 'harder'

Patti larphing at her own jokes . . . makes me giggle.

Mornin' pholks,

I've got a week and a half to get this Christmas thing together . . . I'm in deep doodoo.

So Jess, what was the verdict from BE's daughter . . . inquiring minds want to know.

[Jestgar]

He said she no longer comments on the women he dates and he's not even sure she'd tell him if she thought I was terrible. But I liked her a lot, so I figure that's a good sign.

[kareng]

I've got a week and a half to get this Christmas thing together . . . I'm in deep doodoo.

Me too! The doodoo is pilling up here!

So instead:

A Christmas Gift

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."

"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

[Loey]

Imagining the dinner conversation. :ph34r:

Thanks Jesee. Right now I've spoken to him and pot roast seems like a fair bet but I need a dessert and appetizer. He can have olive oil. Don't know if chick peas are a legume so I'll have it for m Clark and his wife.

You guys are the best!!!!

Loey

[Loey]

Dear gawd, Low-eee...just don't use that Enormix Condom in any way.. . ..could one use it to help with reading?.. . .Must consider this. . . . . . ...

As a visual aid/puppet of some sort?. . . . .... . . ... . .

It would fit on my entire hand. They're very religious so it definitely wouldn't go over well.

Loey

[Loey]

He said she no longer comments on the women he dates and he's not even sure she'd tell him if she thought I was terrible. But I liked her a lot, so I figure that's a good sign.

I repeat: How can she not love our dear sweet Jesse?

Loey

[Loey]

Me too! The doodoo is pilling up here!

So instead:

A Christmas Gift

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."

"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

Loey

[celiac-mommy]

Is everyone out Christmas shopping? It's very quiet and lonely here today. I'll be offline later as a friends coming over. Tomorrow we're buying our 19 year old toys. Missing my psillies!!!!

I was all day Saturday and yesterday. Done, Done, DONE!!!!! Actually, I was done last week, but my mom, sister, brother, grandma and auntie all went yesteray, so I tagged along

Sunday, I baked.....and baked.....and baked! Made ginger spice cookies, PB buckeyes, macadamia nut roca, orange slice cookies (ewwwww!), chocolate crinkles, peppermint choco fudge brownies, nutella filled pillow cookies, and hokey pokey that didn't turn out at all. Everone at work is in a sugar coma right now!

Show went well. BE showed up in my room at 2am. Apparently I'm very welcoming to "strangers" in the middle of the night. :ph34r: I probably should work on that. Anyway. He's coming to the show tonight with his dd. Should be fun. Today I'm going to work on cleaning my house and studying for my stupid final.

I had a dream like this once. Involved someone named 'Edward'...... <sigh>

The Skookumchuck is my favorite (to say, I'm not sure I've ever been there).

Phrequently driven over the Skookumchuck on my way to Seattle. Always makes me giggle at such a horrible name!

Yes. You will have to take notes.

Returning to being psilly (and I hope I don't offend anyone or get kicked out of my dear psilly thread) Clark and I bought Tony some rather disturbing gifts for Christmas

Hugs from a blushing Loey who better get down to wrapping gifts before my computer goes all whacky on me again for procrastinating .

Loey

My son has the Jesus action figure 'with gliding motion' It's phabulous!!

We are also very open about sex. Yesterday Max was trying to think of words that started with each letter of the alphabet. He looked at me and smirked, "P is for penis!" He loves his penis

I repeat: How can she not love our dear sweet Jesse?

Loey

Exactly! I think I may have scared Miss Jess when I threw my arms around her and hugged her before I said hello....

[nikki-uk]

I was all day Saturday and yesterday. Done, Done, DONE!!!!!

Jealous, jealous, JEALOUS!!!

I'm with Jyianne-eet (in deep doo doo methinks )

Tomorrow eh?

I had a dream like this once. Involved someone named 'Edward'...... <sigh>

Oh yeah....I had that dream too

Exactly! I think I may have scared Miss Jess when I threw my arms around her and hugged her before I said hello....

SNNAAAP!!!!

To be phair, I think she's getting used to random international psills doing that tho'

GADS, yooz peeps sound highly organised.

I am not.

Have a blasted 'parents day' school event for my youngest son tomorrow for 3 HOURS - cutting into me shopping BIG TIME

[Darn210]

Well, I made a little progress today. Kids are pretty much done. It's the adults that don't need anything that I'm having problems with . . . my Dad, my FIL, my step-MIL, and my MIL . . . and since they're "big" kids, if I don't get it done by Christmas, nobody will be crying. So now I guess I'm no longer in deep doodoo . . . perhaps I'm in shallow doodoo.

[Darn210]

Have a blasted 'parents day' school event for my youngest son tomorrow for 3 HOURS - cutting into me shopping BIG TIME

I hear ya, sister!!

[celiac-mommy]

Have a blasted 'parents day' school event for my youngest son tomorrow for 3 HOURS - cutting into me shopping BIG TIME

The kids' Christmas program is Thursday night. The school thought they'd be 'helpful' this year and break it into 2 programs so people wouldn't have to be there as long. K-2 is from 5-615pm and 3-5th grades are from 645-8pm. I have a kindergartner and 4th grader so we'll be there the whoooooooole time