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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Prancer asked Santa Claus why Dasher and Dancer always got to take coffee breaks. Santa replied "Because they are my star- bucks!

What do they call Santa's helpers?

Subordinate Clauses

:lol::rolleyes:

One of the many I remember from me dad:

When I was a kid, our Christmases were very poor. We couldn't afford tinsel. We had to wait for Grampa to sneeze.

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kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic but not too personal Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom's and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note :

"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time as no doubt other hands will come in contact with thembefore I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year!

All my love.

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Santa lives in Montreal!!

Open Original Shared Link

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Santa lives in Montreal!!

Open Original Shared Link

Or at least his corporate offices. Maybe Hub should send a resume. Can just see him as the Human Resources guy for Santa, dealing with Elf unions. :)

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.

*SNOOOOORT*!!!!laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif

Loey Rising Star
Loey
Posted

What do they call Santa's helpers?

Subordinate Clauses

laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif

Loey Rising Star
Loey
Posted

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic but not too personal Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom's and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note :

"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they are hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time as no doubt other hands will come in contact with thembefore I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year!

All my love.

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.

laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif will pass this one on for sure!!!!

Loey

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Loey Rising Star
Loey
Posted

*SNOOOOORT*!!!!laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif

Love your picture. I wish I could post pics but evidently they have too many pixels.

Loey

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

Were you guys doing MathS earlier??? ...it sounded like eet. blink.gif

Vampire diaries??

None too shabby. I say behold cougars of the world UNITE!!! laugh.gif

Yes, Vampire Diaries. This one is my age. :D

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.

HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted

Love your picture. I wish I could post pics but evidently they have too many pixels.

Loey

Why thank you muchly Low-Eee!!

Have you tried this?

Open Original Shared Link

Ok, nearly mulledwine o' clock 5pm here. *hic*

Open phyres lit (with obligatory cat in front of it)

A Christmas Carol on the tv

Just waiting for the outlaws in laws to visit rolleyes.gif

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

Ok, nearly mulledwine o' clock 5pm here. *hic*

Open phyres lit (with obligatory cat in front of it)

A Christmas Carol on the tv

Just waiting for the outlaws in laws to visit rolleyes.gif

If the in- laws are coming, now is the time for mulled wine.

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted

If the in- laws are coming, now is the time for mulled wine.

2 glasses down - might as well finish the bottle wacko.gif

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

2 glasses down - might as well finish the bottle wacko.gif

Wouldn't want it to go to waste! ;)

Oscar Apprentice
Oscar
Posted

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted

Have just realized . . . we have not watched "A Christmas Story" yet this year. My kids use the phrase "Fra-GEE-lay . . . must be Italian" year round.

Tried a new recipe from the secretary at my kids' school . . . in theory, it looked good and easy . . . in practice, it has bonded to the pan. May have to pitch it (pan and all).

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Who let Oscar out?

Oscar, it's so unlike you to be so festive . . . Have you been drinking?? . . . with Saint Nik?

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

Have just realized . . . we have not watched "A Christmas Story" yet this year. My kids use the phrase "Fra-GEE-lay . . . must be Italian" year round.

Tried a new recipe from the secretary at my kids' school . . . in theory, it looked good and easy . . . in practice, it has bonded to the pan. May have to pitch it (pan and all).

Love that! 'Fra-GEE-lay' Frikin heeeeelarious!

Been there wif the pan. SUCKS!!! Made 2 of those dobos tortes last night for a Romanian Dr. here. 12 thin layers of cake and pastry cream. Damn layers were sliding all over the frickin place. Doweled them and all. Ended up getting it kinda straight, put it in the freezer, then had to cover the sides of the cake in chopped almonds to hide my mistakes! Wouldn't feel right to say, you owe me 60$ for this box of mush, good luck getting it onto a plate! :rolleyes:

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

And as soon as I get to me granny's house this afternoon, I'm hittin the wodka! Hubby finished off a batch last night, but I'm not touching that stuff. I'll save that for the big boys :unsure:

Loey Rising Star
Loey
Posted

Why thank you muchly Low-Eee!!

Have you tried this?

Open Original Shared Link

Ok, nearly mulledwine o' clock 5pm here. *hic*

Open phyres lit (with obligatory cat in front of it)

A Christmas Carol on the tv

Just waiting for the outlaws in laws to visit rolleyes.gif

We don't have much family alive. Just my brother and SIL in Va. and cousins in Connecticut. I don't know if I ever posted this but for the first 3 years I was married to Clark I didn't know my dear MIL spoke English (they're from Spain). In the beginning it pissed me off and I never wanted to go along to visit but my sweet mother said to me "Look at it as a day off. She's going to spend the whole time cooking and fussing over Tony." Plus I didn't want to hurt Clark and I loved his brother (he was a sweetheart who was mentally challenged and became an influence on my going into special ed - sadly he's deceased too). So we don't have the headaches of the holidays but we also don' have some of the enjoyment.

Enjoy A Christmas Carol. I always loved Mr. MaGoo's Christmas Carol (I know I mentioned that in an earlier thread). It was psilly and sad. Clark and Tony are going to see True Grit and I made our sides for dinner tomorrow because they won't fit in the oven. They're in the oven browning and I'm still in my pj's.

Holiday Hugs,

Loey

Loey Rising Star
Loey
Posted

:lol::rolleyes:

One of the many I remember from me dad:

When I was a kid, our Christmases were very poor. We couldn't afford tinsel. We had to wait for Grampa to sneeze.

laugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.giflaugh.gif Loey

P.S. to anyone - how many pixels for a picture and how do I change my avatar into one? I'm still so clueless ohmy.gifohmy.gifohmy.gifohmy.gif

Loey Rising Star
Loey
Posted

Why thank you muchly Low-Eee!!

Have you tried this?

Open Original Shared Link

Ok, nearly mulledwine o' clock 5pm here. *hic*

Open phyres lit (with obligatory cat in front of it)

A Christmas Carol on the tv

Just waiting for the outlaws in laws to visit rolleyes.gif

Thanks Nik, now I just have to figure how many pixels and how to swap my avatar into a pic. Got one of me & Clark

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Thanks Nik, now I just have to figure how many pixels and how to swap my avatar into a pic. Got one of me & Clark

Is he wearing his cape?

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

I always loved Mr. MaGoo's Christmas Carol

I watched that every year as a kid! That and Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer....always loved the way he said "Santa" wif his wee red nose in the way :rolleyes:

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

And whaddya wanna bet Oscar has a bottle of wodka in that can? :lol:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

If the in- laws are coming, now is the time for mulled wine.

Yep. . . . . . . . . ..... . ......tell me about it...

Hmmm.. ...dunno which emoticon reflects this feeling.. . . . .....

<_< ?

:unsure:?

:wacko: is closest, methinks.. . . . . . . ...

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