The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[elye]

Mygawd, Rahshyellle...never a dull moment.. .. .......

Used trampon simply extracted and dropped on the shower floor -- now THIS, above all types of unfathomable behavior, just stymies me. Is it stupidity, lack of experience/knowledge? No...there is a terrific, well-laid out sheet of instructions with diagrams in every tampax box, specifically saying to FLUSH THE USED TAMPON AWAY, down the toilet.

Is it laziness? No.. . . really, far easier to get rid of said tampon whilst on toilet. Really.

Is it just some sick desire to disgust others? Wow, maybe.

A drunken state of I-dunno-what-in-hell-I'm-doing.....likely.

What a trip, R.. . . . ....I am exhausted.

[kareng]

He's not around my kids very often at all. He's never been allowed to keep them by themselves. When he's not drinking,he's OK, its just unpredictable. As for the invitations, can't answer that one. The funny thing was, overall, we had a great time. I just laughed about it all because, really, what else could I do?! I just sat back and watched everyone else deconstruct!

I know you wouldn't let him keep them. I just meant that adults treating others like that isn't something kids should be around. It can be confusing to kids. When my boys were about 5, the urge to protect Mom & other girls started to kick in. Your dad would have had a karate kick to the groin for yelling at you. I suppose the family keeps hoping he'll change or behave.

On a completely different subject- do you use the silicone cupcake pans? I find they are very wobbly when full of batter and hard to carry to the oven & push in without slopping. Of course, I find it hard to do a lot of things without slopping. :blink:

[Jestgar]

:o

Next time tell me where you're going. I'll show up early with a couple bottles of wine and a lawn chair. That sounds more fun to watch than chicken TV.

[kareng]

:o

Next time tell me where you're going. I'll show up early with a couple bottles of wine and a lawn chair. That sounds more fun to watch than chicken TV.

Great idea. I'll bring the rubber gloves, bleach and some signs for Jess & I to hold up. " Kick butt, Rachelle" "Boo!" etc

[curlyfries]

Wow

Between Manna and Rachelle, my life seems quite...........boring.

........but peacefully pleasant

....or is that pleasantly peaceful?

Had a wonderful time in Florida visiting my dad. Got to see my half brother whom I haven't seen in about 15 years. We went scuba diving for the first time since Brian's accident and it went really well. He had constructed a swimming foot so he could have 2 fins and not roll over when he kicks

We did NOT want to go home. It feels like we belong there....not here in Indy. Gotta figure out a way to make it happen.

Airport security was crazy. Brian gets pulled aside for special scanning. You never know what kind of weapons he might be stashing in his artificial leg Meanwhile, I have to be present while they open his carry-on, because Brian has packed an underwater scooter....in case the swimming foot wasn't good enough. Even after they open it I get this......

Ummmm.....what is it?

[Loey]

Not everyone's asleep yet but they have left me alone in a room finally. I will try to review and give the highlights so far:

Thursday: In-laws call to tell us they are on the road to visit us, bringing with them a small U-haul trailer full of stuff they want to get rid of and think we must need. This was despite our telling them SEVERAL times that this is not a good time to come since we are MOVING on Saturday. They lied to us and said they would come the week after we moved instead and then called around noon to tell us they were halfway here already with the trailer full of crap we requested they NOT bring. We book a hotel and told them they MUST stay there. They did stay there but not without complaining loudly about it to anyone that would listen.

Friday: We get the keys to our new place. I had made a list of things that needed to be done on friday prior to knowing we would have unexpected guests. My list of objectives for Friday was as follows:

Go over the move in check list to make sure there is nothing else that needs to be fixed

Clean the bathrooms and kitchen

Move the things that are fragile/irreplaceable/expensive

Move personal items we don't want moved or seen by other people (I have an entire box of KY I didn't want people seeing as well as a bunch of pregnacy/fertility related books--we don't have kids ),

move food from freezers and fridge--since it was so hot we needed time to make severeal trips in order to get all the food packed in ice in a cooler.

Prep food that the movers were goign to eat Saturday

Take down some shelves in the washer dryer closet so that our washer and dryer would fit (we have oversized frontloaders).

Those were the ONLY things I wanted to accomplish Friday to prepare for Saturday when we had rented a U-haul truck and had all our help coming. Had it been just hubby and I we would have zipped through that list like a well oiled machine and had plenty of time to rest.

Here's how Friday ACTUALLY WENT:

6:AM Call from FIL wakes us up. Now let me just say the this is not early for us. My husband gets up to go to work at 3:30 AM daily. BUT he had taken Friday off and was planning on sleeping in until 7 at least, especially since Thursday night we had to spend 2 hrs convincign the in-laws to stay in a hotel and we stayed up way later than we planned. We got nothing done that we wanted to get done thursday and wanted to take our time getting things together friday morning. So FIL calls and says they checked out of the hotel are at the new place and wanted to unload the trailer. Oh, and could we brign them coffee and breakfast? The hotel they were stayign in had coffee and breakfast and they didn't eat there or take any coffee to go. My husband (love him!) tells them point blank they will have to go get thier own coffee and breakfast and tells them a few places to go. I would have liked to tell them where to go myself, but my imput wasn't requested.

Although he did tell them off a little, Hubby is now concerned they will unload the stuff on the grass and we'll get a fine from the HOA or something. We don't want to piss off our new neighbors before we even move in. He jumps out of bed and starts putting stuff in the car that we had originally planned to take. I have to stop him from taking a few things that I wanted to take however as I now have visions of my in-laws rifling through the boxes to "help" unpack things and finding the fertility books and KY. While this COULD be really comical I don't want to have to answer questions about whether we are having kids or not (I have had 3 miscarriages unbknowst to them) and I don't want to discuss my sex life with them. So in the scramble we only get about half the things I wanted to take in the car.

7:AM Neither one of us are showered. We are rushing to prevent an impending disaster but it's like theres nothign we can do. On the way there we debate on just getting on the interstate and driving to Kansas or someplace far, far away where they will never find us. On the way there the AC in my car stops working. We just had it fixed two weeks ago and now it's not working again. The temp is 100 degrees with a heat index of 115 and we are dyign in the heat on the way there. By the time we get there (it's a 45 mintue drive one way) the heat has darn near lulled us to sleep so that we can't think straight. We find ourselves just unloading the trailer as fast as we can and hoping they plan on leaving when it's done.

No such luck. They plan to stay. In our new place. So now my new place has a bunch of junk sitting in it that is not mine and I haven't even been through the place to see if there is anythign that still needs fixing prior to moving in Saturday. I also haven't cleaned it. It was somewhat cleaned by the previos tenants but the kitchen needed to be comepletely scrubbed and sanitized. The bathrooms needed work too. I try to mildly protest them staying there but my mind is fried by the heat and I'm light headed fromt eh paint fumes. Our place had been freshly painted on Thurday and there were still paint fumes. I mention that the fumes are bothering me and FIL wants to open all the windows to air out the house. We tell him not to dare open the windows--it's 101 and we just turned on the air conditioning! It takes a lot of convincing to make him understand. The heat will make me sicker than the paint fumes and we have just moved some items that need to be kept cool like electronics, paintings and photo albums.

The rest of Friday is filled with us trying to fruitlessly get things done at the new place and not getting a single thing accomplished besides moving about half a carfull and getting all their junk in. The pattern pretty much goes like this all day friday (and most of saturday).

F/M/BIL: "what can I do to help?"

me/hubby: "Well we still need to do XXX."

F/M/BIL: "I don't think you should XXX. I think you should do YYY instead." OR "Okay I'll do that, but I'm going to do it this way instead."

me/hubby: "We don't want it done that way. We want it this way."

F/M/BIL: "But it will be better this way. You don't really want it that way."

me/hubby: "Yes. We do. Please do it this way or don't do it at all. You don't have to live here once it's done. This is how we prefer things."

We wasted a lot of time on friday trying to get them fed too since we didn't want them bringing gluten or dairy into our new place. Hubby had already told them the ground rules of no gltuen or dairy in the house. If we sent them out for food they said they would get fast food and bring it back to eat here. We told them they couldn't do that. They had to eat in the restaurant. Everything was packed and I was not in a position to cook food I can eat on friday to give them so they had to go out to eat. I had prepared some food on Wed (before I knew they were coming) that was just enoguh for me and hubby to eat on thursday and friday. The food situation is where thigns all fell apart....

To be continued....

I wish instead of just being gluten-free you could be M&FIL free! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and will read the continuation of your saga. Sending you a REALLY big hug!!!

Love,

Loey

[Loey]

Hi Dear Psillies,

So I think I told you Tony is staying an extra week in NJ. Thank God he's staying with close friends of ours and she's an RPN. Yesterday he was bleeding from his ear and today he has bloody stool. I called them (the family he's with) and he has a doctor's appointment this afternoon. He's pissed off at me - God forbid he has to cancel plans today - but that's what s(mother's) are for. I picked up that name from a hysterical book I just finished reading called Cancer Vixen. It's written by a cartoonist who's a survivor.

Anyway,I hope you are all doing phine.

Loey

[curlyfries]

Oh my, Loey......hope everything's ok. Please keep us posted. And good for you for making that appointment!

Going to look into that book, now.

[kareng]

Lo- hope Tony is OK. At least he is in good mom hands.

For something silly;

My dog Cooper is a 75 lb lab. The little girl who lives behind us just got a little white fluffy puppy, Max. He's about 10 weeks. He fits thru the fence. He loves Cooper & Cooper loves him. I wish I could get a picture but they don't stay still. Max will see Coop's tail wagging on the ground while Coop is sitting & pounce. He bites it and then jumps on Coops back. Then he chases Coop around as fast as his little 3 inch long legs will carry him. When he is tired, he runs back thru the fence & to his door.

[Jestgar]

Sending hugs Lo-Lo :wub: Hope everything clears up quickly.

[celiac-mommy]

I know you wouldn't let him keep them. I just meant that adults treating others like that isn't something kids should be around. It can be confusing to kids. When my boys were about 5, the urge to protect Mom & other girls started to kick in. Your dad would have had a karate kick to the groin for yelling at you. I suppose the family keeps hoping he'll change or behave.

On a completely different subject- do you use the silicone cupcake pans? I find they are very wobbly when full of batter and hard to carry to the oven & push in without slopping. Of course, I find it hard to do a lot of things without slopping. :blink:

I make sure the kids aren't around when he's around. They're usually so exhausted from running around, swimming and hiking all day that they both pass out around 8pm. They're NEVER there when the antics start. I make sure of that!!

The Demarle pans I have are even floppier than the silicone bakeware they sell at the store. You have to put them on a cookie sheet before you fill them and bake them on a cookie sheet. I have perforated baking sheets that I put mine on. This allows airflow under the cupcake pans to ensure even baking.

Great idea. I'll bring the rubber gloves, bleach and some signs for Jess & I to hold up. " Kick butt, Rachelle" "Boo!" etc

OK! Next one will be in 2 years...

Lo- hope Tony is OK. At least he is in good mom hands.

For something silly;

My dog Cooper is a 75 lb lab. The little girl who lives behind us just got a little white fluffy puppy, Max. He's about 10 weeks. He fits thru the fence. He loves Cooper & Cooper loves him. I wish I could get a picture but they don't stay still. Max will see Coop's tail wagging on the ground while Coop is sitting & pounce. He bites it and then jumps on Coops back. Then he chases Coop around as fast as his little 3 inch long legs will carry him. When he is tired, he runs back thru the fence & to his door.

Was that the dog we were trying to help name? After all that, they named him Max??

[kareng]

Was that the dog we were trying to help name? After all that, they named him Max??

Yep! Max! J still calls him Sparky or Rocky. But not where the little girl can hear. It is better than Prince Charming Fluffy Snowball.

[celiac-mommy]

Prince Charming Fluffy Snowball.

[Jestgar]

_{I'm ditching work to go see Harry Potter. ssshhhhh}

[elye]

_{I'm ditching work to go see Harry Potter. ssshhhhh}

Are you going with BE? Is that three weeks up yet?... . . ...

[celiac-mommy]

_{I'm ditching work to go see Harry Potter. ssshhhhh}

I wanna go too!!

I ditched to go buy Max a deathboard on wheels for his birthday so he can knock out his other tooth

[mushroom]

I would ditch if I had something to ditch and somewhere exciting to go, instead of sitting around bored out of my gourd, with my foot up And I'm on vacation.

Bah humbug!!!

[elye]

Shroom! How come yer foot's up?.. . . what'd I miss?. . . ..... .. ..

[mushroom]

Shroom! How come yer foot's up?.. . . what'd I miss?. . . ..... .. ..

You didn't miss nuffin; -- I just haven't been talking about it Too depressing Especially with the travails of Russell and GFM.....

[elye]

Okay! Shrooomie's turn.. . . . . . ...WHASSUP?

[celiac-mommy]

Yeah lady... Spill It!!! Whatsamatter??

[kareng]

Since Shroomie isn't telling , we can only guess what happened. Some of my guesses:

Fell off the top of a mountain.

Accident water skiing on Lake Tahoe

Skateboarding accident

Too many $1 drinks at the casino, tripped on an Ace of Spades that fell off the Blackjack table

Some of the cattle on the south side of town stampeded thru the neighborhood.

A horrific casino all-you-can-eat buffet accident.

[mushroom]

See, that's the reason I'm not telling. Far too mundane and boring. Can't compete with crazy relatives, trailer-loads of trash dumped on lawns, wild drinking parties.... sheesh, my life is boring. Just one hint - involves inconvenient medical stuff and hospitals and car doors and.... and.... and....

[kareng]

See, that's the reason I'm not telling. Far too mundane and boring. Can't compete with crazy relatives, trailer-loads of trash dumped on lawns, wild drinking parties.... sheesh, my life is boring. Just one hint - involves inconvenient medical stuff and hospitals and car doors and.... and.... and....

Ah! Now I have the " true" story!

There was a car jacking at gunpoint. From a hospital parking lot. The guy stole a car with 2 small children, the families life savings, a great grandma's ashes , oxygen tanks, diabetes monitor and a small kitten. Shroomie saw what was happening. She raced after the car. Wrenched the driver door open. The car jacker slammed it on her foot but she held on. She wrenched the door back open and took a loaf of vegan gluten-free bread and whacked the car jacker into submission.

Did I come close?

[mushroom]

Close enough, except for the children. but I managed to save Fluffy who has been converted to gluten and lactose free and eats Rice Chex with almond milk for dinner/ The gluten free loaf survived the attack and has been turned into croutons, and the carjacker is in traction under house arrest The gun went off and hit me in the leg - they were able to extract the bullets but there is rather a large hole in my leg which does not want to heal because of the Humira, so it is just sitting there weeping. I think I will join it Oh, and in the midst of all this we have moved from the Lake to Reno, have bought a pre-owned car and returned the rental to SF and have not yet hung anything on the walls in Reno. I am going to call Josephine whom I kept seeing in the hospital - every floor I was on, even the ER, she was there cleaning - and ask her to come clean my new place because hub is exhausted. And exasperated. Can't understand why