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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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Celiac Mindwarp Community Regular
Celiac Mindwarp
Posted

Ah ha! Maybe the gator swallowed a giant magnet?

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mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

Isn't the food supposed to be the magnet?? :blink:

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

I think the person in the chair is attacking the gator! BBQed - they taste like chicken! I hear they are good fried.

Gators - not people in wheelchairs :ph34r:

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

I hear they are good fried.

Gators - not people in wheelchairs :ph34r:

Yes, but first you have to get close enough to them to thread them on the skewer :ph34r:

shadowicewolf Proficient
shadowicewolf
Posted

I bought a yukata (second hand, yet never used), a pair of chopsticks, a notebook with very funny engrish on it, and a lucky cat phone dangle thing for abotu $25 at the japanese fair yesterday.

The yukata was the biggest find. Cotton and is pink with sakura blossums on it. I've been wanting one for a while now, I saw it and i just had to have it. The gal selling it even let me try it on and said it looked good on me :lol: It fits just right and is perfect for lounging around my apartment in.

The notebook on the otherhand proclaims this:

"The black cat always walks the town elegantly. The other cats watch it enviously, because a black cat is very stylish... A stylish black cat"

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Though i will admit, it is bretter phrased than a lot of the others i've seen.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Apple sauce or butter

Get up as soon as the rooster crows. It'll likely still be dark, but you need a little time to get ready anyway.

Dress in your warmest dark/green clothing. Grab a couple grocery sacks-the black ones are a good choice.

Sneak through the woods to the neighbour's yard. It's best to grab a stick at the beginning of your journey to swat away the spiderwebs.

Peruse the fallen apples, selecting the best to put in your sacks. If you've remembered to bring a plastic bag, collect up a few not-so-nice fruits for the chickens. Grab any good looking pears as well, you'll need them for the sweetness as these upstart apple trees are quite tart.

Once you've cleared the ground, give the trees a good shake to get the ones that are just about to fall and gather those up too. These are easy to spot as they aren't covered with dew from being on the grass.

Tromp back through the woods (don't forget the stick) and stop to give the chickens their treat fruit.

Pick through the fruit, putting the worst apples into your crock-pot-sized bowl. Put the better apples and pears into boxes in your store room. Check the pears that are already there for any ripe enough to add to the butter.

I usually do this next part in the evening.

Rinse the bowl of apples and pears. Move any small fruits to the lower layer so that cat doesn't pull them out and play with them while you're covered in sticky fruit juice and unable to do anything but yell.

Set your bowl, crock, cutting board, knife, chicken-scrap-bowl, towel/rag and glass of wine on the table in the living room. Pop in a movie.

Core the fruit, remove any bad spots and worms and add them to the chicken bowl. I leave on the skins so I also remove bad skin spots. If you'll be peeling the apples you'll want two movies.

Keep cutting and putting the chunks into the crock until it's full. Really full. It cooks down.

Set the cooker on low and go to bed. I've added a splash of water, or a splash of white wine, but it really isn't needed in the crock.

The next morning.

Stir the applesauce. If it's too chunky you can mash it around with a spoon, whir it through a food processor, or zap it with the immersion blender.

If you want applesauce, put the big canner pot full of water on the stove and make sure you have clean jars. Taste the applesauce and add sugar and spices if you'd like. I like mine tart with lots of cinnamon. Spoon the applesauce into jars, add lids and rings and boil in the waterbath for 15-20 minutes. Remove from heat and let it cool down before removing jars.

If you've just read the previous paragraph and you're glaring at the screen muttering something about 'haven't even had my frickin' coffee yet', don't blame me, I said one glass of wine.

Let's continue on to apple butter.

Let that cooker spend the day cooking down your apples. Every now and again give it a stir, especially if your crock pot has hot spots, but mostly you can just ignore it. Once it's thickened up to a consistency you like, add spices and sugar if necessary. Try some maple syrup and ginger.

Get the water pot boiling, spoon the apple butter into jars, add lids and rings and process for 5-10 minutes or so. Let cool overnight.

Be sure to save a sample of your work in the frig to spread on your toast the next morning.

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

Oh-oh, Jess has been doing night-time raids of the neighbors' yards again :ph34r:

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shadowicewolf Proficient
shadowicewolf
Posted

I used to do that. My neighbor didn't mind as it kept the bears out of her yard lol.

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

Oh, you are so welcome! Let me know when I can help again! I am ready and willing. :D:D:D

*sniff* *sniff*

I smell snark in here!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Oh-oh, Jess has been doing night-time raids of the neighbors' yards again :ph34r:

dawn.... :rolleyes:

He's left on his months elsewhere employment so now it's ok (according to the neighbors who don't like him anyway. :)

Cookin' me up some caramel apple butter right now.

Lisa Mentor
Lisa
Posted

dawn.... :rolleyes:

Cookin' me up some caramel apple butter right now.

Yum. Do you ship? :P Or do I have to come and get it...Oh, Oh, Oh, I can do that.

shadowicewolf Proficient
shadowicewolf
Posted

it'd go to waste elsewise, right? :3

kareng Grand Master
kareng
Posted

it'd go to waste elsewise, right? :3

Exactly! Its a good deed! Or she's recycling!

shadowicewolf Proficient
shadowicewolf
Posted

Or keeping the pests away.

mushroom Proficient
mushroom
Posted

I had to leave a lotta my apples, but knowing Barb, she put em to good use ;) Meantime, apples are probably through blossoming and I wasn't there to put my pheromone traps out, so I'll be cutting out lotsa bugs this year :(

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Sounds like you need some chickens to help you with that. :)

GFinDC Veteran
GFinDC
Posted

Oh-oh, Jess has been doing night-time raids of the neighbors' yards again :ph34r:

Sounds like Jess is practicing a little Open Original Shared Link.

In Open Original Shared Link, it was argued that the biblical regulations concerning left-overs only applied to corn fields, Open Original Shared Link, and vineyards, and not to Open Original Shared Link;Open Original Shared Link the classical rabbinical writers were much stricter in regard to who could receive the remains. It was stated that the farmer was not permitted to benefit from the gleanings, and was not permitted to discriminate among the poor, nor try to frighten them away with dogs or lions;

Watch out for the lions Jess! :)

Apple butter sounds good. Maybe I need to get me one of those apple butter makers. Sounds like they drink too much wine though!

The Gleaners

640px-JEAN-FRAN%C3%87OIS_MILLET_-_Las_Espigadoras_%28Museo_de_Orsay%2C_1857._%C3%93leo_sobre_lienzo%2C_83.5_x_110_cm%29.webp

*sniff* *sniff*

I smell snark in here!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Well, maybe a little! :D Here's a smaller pic that may meet with your approval Bunny :).

celiac-mommy Collaborator
celiac-mommy
Posted

Timothy is a BEAUTIFUL kid, Vynnscent! Man, his hair and them pumpkins -- Orange City! B)

I hear the PC term is now Ginger... :P

I think the person in the chair is attacking the gator! BBQed - they taste like chicken! I hear they are good fried.

Gators - not people in wheelchairs :ph34r:

Here in Portland you'll find them on pizza

Gators, not people in wheelchairs.... :lol:

Oh-oh, Jess has been doing night-time raids of the neighbors' yards again :ph34r:

I've got a night time raid box full of apples on my porch right now, courtesy of Captain's mom :D I love her!! (who ever thought I'd say that?! :rolleyes: )

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted

Sounds like Jess is practicing a little Open Original Shared Link.

Watch out for the lions Jess! :)

What he said!!!

I do have my spider stick - should help with lions.

And yes, the best apple butter makers do require quite a bit of wine. Well worth it though.

Lisa Mentor
Lisa
Posted

Hey Padds...gettin' a little bit nervous with a total post count like this 19,968? :unsure::unsure::unsure:

You should be :ph34r: !

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

Do you guys think biscuit is weird word to use as a sexual euphemism?

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

As in, bad boy- no biscuit?

Lisa Mentor
Lisa
Posted

Do you guys think biscuit is weird word to use as a sexual euphemism?

Is Patti getting a biscuit? :blink::o:lol:

JNBunnie1 Community Regular
JNBunnie1
Posted

Go Patti!

VydorScope Proficient
VydorScope
Posted

As in, bad boy- no biscuit?

If you both know and agree... then who cares?

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