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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

oh dear, Sarah.......

let me clarify.

I would ONLY remember if you wore something really ghastly and wore it again, or REALLY outstanding (like a Chanel suit), and wore it again.

If you're anywhere in between those two, I would NOT remember, honest truth.

so sorry to have caused you such duress!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, now speaking of Coco Chanel, let's remember her theory, which was something like.....if a woman walks into a room with a very busy, showy, or crazily-patterned outfit, people will say "look at that dress..." but if she walks in, carrying herself with great posture and poise in something quite simple and understated, highlighting the figger or whatever, they will say "look at that WOMAN."

Go with teh basic black, I PROMISE you no one will remember.

:)

Ooooookaaaaayyy..... Basic black, I can do... and really, was Coco ever wrong?

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DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
Ooooookaaaaayyy..... Basic black, I can do... and really, was Coco ever wrong?

EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!! No, she was not.

but things did get a little crazy when Karl Lagerfield took over her company........ :unsure:

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted
You wore a lab coat.

You were also trying to tell everyone that you were wearing Ugg's new fur boots but we all know you were going barefoot . . .

oh yeah...

at least my feet are finally warm

The lab coat reference reminded me that for my next audition for the musical theater I'm going to sing "I feel pretty" while putting on my very sensible shoes, lab coat, safety goggles, giant cryogloves, and putting my hair into the cabbage patch topknot.

Maybe I can start coloring my feet to improve my appearance

tom Contributor
tom
Posted
I am SOOO going out for a drink with you!!!! :lol::lol:

:lol: that's the spirit!!

(Wish I'd said that :angry: )

Hey! They can be female...Few people make more noise when watching hockey or football than I. Quite embarrassing, actually....even for me!

Yay!! Love this!!

How long is the lease? When does his daughter come back?

1 year lease. Lauryn WILL be here for at least a few days after Christmas!

And it's not really all that frequent w/ John. He's usually out a nearby bar while LOUD. And I think I can get him to quiet down in the future.

AND he's out-of-town on biz 4days/wk, incl now, which had a LOT to do w/ me thinking I could deal w/ a roomie.

I'd best just stay out of the wardrobe discussion.

'Cept to say gotta love Coco's take on it.

OMG I thought of somethign else......we at times can actually refer to all sodas as COKE out here. So...someone will say - "do you want a Coke" when they really mean - any kind of SODA POP :lol:

YES! I meant to throw in the all-encompassing "wanna coke?" myself!

Maybe that started for me when i went to Tucson for college. Hmmm :huh:

OMG I once scored a major fashion coup, over 15 years ago........it was a black suit, with tuxedo lapels with just a hint of satin on them........ . ..

......friends called it my Magic Suit ......... :rolleyes: and it really did have power.......

Hehehehehe Magic Suit :)

An old girlfriend, one I probably should've married :( , had some sort of tuxedo-ey yet very feminine, suit that she loved to wear.

One of my best friends of all time, and while we had a great talk and a ton of laughs on the phone recently, her husband is so against us keeping in touch, pffft it's done. :(

You wore a lab coat.

You were also trying to tell everyone that you were wearing Ugg's new fur boots but we all know you were going barefoot . . .

:lol:

Hooray for Janet!!! A sudden spike of silliness amongst a fashion/wardrobe discussion!!

Thank YOU m'dear!! :lol:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

I wish I had a magic suit...To make my legs look four feet long, my bum to look smaller...you know...the stuff magic's made of... :rolleyes:

Last year to my Christmas party I wore this incredible Alfred Sung dress that I paid--ready?--twelve dollars for. Value Village. Conversation stopped when I walked into the dining room (Ha! This was, unfortunately, because the side and back of my dress was tucked up in my underwear). Indeed, my classiest of entrances... :o:lol:

Gus is post-op, still acting rather drugged. Stumbling around a bit, not eating. Big, expensive, slovenly beast!

Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted
Last year to my Christmas party I wore this incredible Alfred Sung dress that I paid--ready?--twelve dollars for. Value Village. Conversation stopped when I walked into the dining room (Ha! This was, unfortunately, because the side and back of my dress was tucked up in my underwear). Indeed, my classiest of entrances... :o:lol:

Oh Dear God! This is the stuff from which nightmares are made!!! ;):unsure:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
I wish I had a magic suit...To make my legs look four feet long, my bum to look smaller...you know...the stuff magic's made of... :rolleyes:

Last year to my Christmas party I wore this incredible Alfred Sung dress that I paid--ready?--twelve dollars for. Value Village. Conversation stopped when I walked into the dining room (Ha! This was, unfortunately, because the side and back of my dress was tucked up in my underwear). Indeed, my classiest of entrances... :o:lol:

Gus is post-op, still acting rather drugged. Stumbling around a bit, not eating. Big, expensive, slovenly beast!

You pulled an Amanda as we would say at work!

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elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
You pulled an Amanda as we would say at work!

Goodness, Amanda...you didn't have your wedding dress tucked up in back, did you?

:o:o:lol:

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Nope, one day as my coworker and I were walking up the sidewalk back to the hospital, a very strong gust of wind came and blew mu skirt right up to my chest. Of course, people were all over and I was facing the hospital so everyone saw me....

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
Last year to my Christmas party I wore this incredible Alfred Sung dress that I paid--ready?--twelve dollars for. Value Village. Conversation stopped when I walked into the dining room (Ha! This was, unfortunately, because the side and back of my dress was tucked up in my underwear). Indeed, my classiest of entrances... :o:lol:

:o oh dear God indeed! :lol: Sorry, had to laugh........

Um, may I please mention when I bought said expensive Magic Suit, I was younger, had more money, and no significant veterinary (or other) bills of which to speak............those were the days. :huh: *sigh*

big, expensive slovenly beast. :lol: :lol: :lol:

OMG.....where is everyone? are they in a deep freeze, with no electricity? where's Patti been? I did hear on the news tonight that this deep freeze in the midwest will have some areas without power for up to TEN DAYS????????? oh dear....this is not good!! :unsure: I think it was Oklahoma.....we don't have anyone here from Oklahoma, do we?

Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted

Yeah, and where's Bev??? :unsure:

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted

Well, my fingers are about to fall off. I wrote a manuscript on another thread and hit the post butten and . . . poof . . . it was gone. Had to rewrite it again. That's not funny, all my silly leaked out whilst typing.

To make matters worse, I'm in the middle of our annual Christmas letter. I pride myself on our family letter. There is no mention of any resume-type info or international trips or how our children are learning three languages simultaneously. I have people tell me that they actually look forward to it. There's so much pressure to be wittier every year. And I think I've used up all my wit on this board. The clock is tickin' and that letter is not getting funny!! Although, just so you girls (Susie & Sarah) know, the muffin-shaped projectiles and hot gravy jello have been mentioned under the topic of gluten-free cooking! :lol:

Jess, when you do your "I Feel Pretty" song, please have someone record it so we can all watch on youtube!

Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted
Well, my fingers are about to fall off. I wrote a manuscript on another thread and hit the post butten and . . . poof . . . it was gone. Had to rewrite it again. That's not funny, all my silly leaked out whilst typing.

Ohhh gawd, I hate that!!!

To make matters worse, I'm in the middle of our annual Christmas letter. I pride myself on our family letter. There is no mention of any resume-type info or international trips or how our children are learning three languages simultaneously. I have people tell me that they actually look forward to it. There's so much pressure to be wittier every year. And I think I've used up all my wit on this board. The clock is tickin' and that letter is not getting funny!! Although, just so you girls (Susie & Sarah) know, the muffin-shaped projectiles and hot gravy jello have been mentioned under the topic of gluten-free cooking! :lol:

Jess, when you do your "I Feel Pretty" song, please have someone record it so we can all watch on youtube!

Did you hear that Susie?????? We're famous!

Janet, I have the UTMOST faith in you... you WILL bring the funny!

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

Mornin' Sillies.....

OMG, it is December 12th. 13 days until Christmas. I NEED A PAUSE BUTTON!

There's so much pressure to be wittier every year. And I think I've used up all my wit on this board. The clock is tickin' and that letter is not getting funny!!

I've suddenly had a lifesaving idea for you, Janet...print out the last 250 pages of this thread, delete all posts but yours (or not...then your loved ones will be reading about Tom's drunk roomie, my dad the chameleon, Susie's neighboUrhood zombie...which my family might just LOVE), and send it all off with a big "This has been my life over the past few months. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

:lol:

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
Mornin' Sillies.....

OMG, it is December 12th. 13 days until Christmas. I NEED A PAUSE BUTTON!

I've suddenly had a lifesaving idea for you, Janet...print out the last 250 pages of this thread, delete all posts but yours (or not...then your loved ones will be reading about Tom's drunk roomie, my dad the chameleon, Susie's neighboUrhood zombie...which my family might just LOVE), and send it all off with a big "This has been my life over the past few months. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

:lol:

How many stamps do you think that would take?

blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted

Where is Patti? We are expecting bad weather here tomorrow...ice!

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
Did you hear that Susie?????? We're famous!

Hell No . . . you're not getting any credit!!!! I just said I was using it in my letter. It's a fictionlized memoir of my past year! Did you guys know I was a ghost writer for A Million Little Pieces.

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
Where is Patti? We are expecting bad weather here tomorrow...ice!

I'm here :)

Reading along when I can, just really busy (as everyone is this time of year ;) ), and not feeling particularly funny....

But I enjoy coming here and evesdropping every now and then :P You guys are so funny :D

Amanda--yep, we're supposed to get the icy weather here, too. And possibly again over the weekend :angry:

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
Jess, when you do your "I Feel Pretty" song, please have someone record it so we can all watch on youtube!

I exuberantly second the motion!

Did you hear that Susie?????? We're famous!

OMG! So.....Janet is really plagiarizing, is she not? Using our gluten-free cooking misfortune so she can bring the funny to Christmas? Bah!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:

I've suddenly had a lifesaving idea for you, Janet...print out the last 250 pages of this thread, delete all posts but yours (or not...then your loved ones will be reading about Tom's drunk roomie, my dad the chameleon, Susie's neighboUrhood zombie...which my family might just LOVE), and send it all off with a big "This has been my life over the past few months. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

*snort*

Oh this is an absolutely fine idea!!!!!!!!!! But I really do think she needs to leave in ALL the posts.......imagine, just receiving 250 pages of random silliness........yes, Janet, lots and lots of stamps............. :blink:

Hell No . . . you're not getting any credit!!!! I just said I was using it in my letter. It's a fictionlized memoir of my past year! Did you guys know I was a ghost writer for A Million Little Pieces.

:lol:

OMG she's a ghost writer for a LYING ghost writer...............

*snort*

I think I lost all my funny today, too. Just so strange......some days it's there, and then poof, like a million pieces of yeti confetti, it's gone..........

where is everyone..............susie is scared...........hold me............. :unsure:

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted

Magic Suit???......Hell I'd need some Open Original Shared Linkwith it!!!!!!

(sexy?? maybe not but LOOK !!! it says ''They will smooth out your bulges, including your Muffin Top''

CAN'T argue with that! :lol:

......but dear gawd!! the knickers cost more than I'd pay for a dress!! :lol::lol:

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted
Magic Suit???......Hell I'd need some Open Original Shared Linkwith it!!!!!!

I have a pair and was disappointed with them--the waist didn't stay put <_<

But "Magic Knickers" :lol::lol::lol:

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
OMG she's a ghost writer for a LYING ghost writer...............

*snort*

:P:lol:

I think I lost all my funny today, too. Just so strange......some days it's there, and then poof, like a million pieces of yeti confetti, it's gone..........

No No No . . . you don't turn a phrase like that when your funny is gone.

where is everyone..............susie is scared...........hold me............. :unsure:

I KNOW!!!! I keep checking, but nobody is posting. I'm going to have to pull a Carla and quote myself (whilst eating three crumbs of a donut).

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
(sexy?? maybe not but LOOK !!! it says ''They will smooth out your bulges, including your Muffin Top''

CAN'T argue with that! :lol:

......but dear gawd!! the knickers cost more than I'd pay for a dress!! :lol::lol:

*snort*

Excuse me Patti.....they were called, ahem

Spanx Higher Power Magic Knickers

:lol:

You know, I still have the Magic Suit, in the back of the closet, gathering dust.....it's too old and tired to wear, even if I had MIRACLE KNICKERS to ameliorate the situation (note repeat usage of Word-A-Day type words to ensure proper integration into Janet's Christmas Epistle) :lol:

I KNOW!!!! I keep checking, but nobody is posting. I'm going to have to pull a Carla and quote myself (whilst eating three crumbs of a donut).

GAh!!!!!!! :lol:

Yes, however I could not find anything quote-worthy in my own posts........was wistfully reliving in my mind, however, the days when my Magic Suit was actually a necessary part of my life...... :huh: And now.......dressing up is changing from sweats to jeans.........

good gawd 'tis a mojo-less day.....................one just never knows when one awakens....whether one's mojo will show itself

:blink:

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
You know, I still have the Magic Suit, in the back of the closet, gathering dust.....it's too old and tired to wear, even if I had MIRACLE KNICKERS to ameliorate the situation (note repeat usage of Word-A-Day type words to ensure proper integration into Janet's Christmas Epistle) :lol:

Yes, quite necessary to use the words over and over until I, too, can use them in a sentence. I had to go back to dictionary.com and look it up AGAIN (after contemplating if this was one of the real words or not.)

My friend Ameliorate the whole batch of cookies.

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted
My friend Ameliorate the whole batch of cookies.

You gotta get some new friends

:lol: :lol:

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    • trents
      SkinSafe

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    • Itsabit
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      By Itsabit · Posted

      Hi. I’m 70 years old, and a 22 year survivor of head and neck cancer treated with chemo-radiation, which resulted in non-existent submandibular salivary glands and extreme dry mouth and altered oral mucosa. I have been using dry mouth toothpaste, Rx oral dentrifices and moisturizers for years.  I’ve recently been diagnosed with severe celiac dermatitis herpetiformis. I was being treated with oral Dapsone, but it was not effective and I developed some serious side effects. So, the medication was stopped and I was started on Doxycycline (another antibiotic) for inflammation. I’ve been using Rx Betamethasone steroid ointment with little to no effect. I have tried every oral and topical antihistamine treatment available OTC. None have touched this horrible relentless itching. That is my history.  Now to my question. Does anybody know about gluten free toothpastes and mouth moisturizers? I ask because a very common dry mouth brand stated to me that they were indeed gluten free. But as I am not getting any better with my dermatitis herpetiformis, I was wondering if I was getting glutenized some way other than diet as  I have been following a strict clean gluten free diet, but I am not seeing any improvement at all. So, I started looking up the toothpastes and moisturizer ingredients individually and nine (9) of the eleven (11) or so listed showed up as   containing gluten or that may have gluten! Am I getting glutenized orally by these products?  As an aside, I checked on my favorite lavender scented baby lotion which is supposed to be gluten free, but many of those ingredients when investigated separately, show they  do contain or may contain gluten as well. I stopped using the lotion. But I cannot forgo my dental care. I was unable to get any information from the manufacturer of my current brand of chewable multivitamins either. They told me to check with my doctor. If THEY don’t know what’s in their product, how do they think a PCP will?  In light of all this, I am confused and angry that I might keep getting contaminated with gluten through products I am using that are supposedly gluten safe. *I should also state that I have a nickel allergy since I was about 12-13 years old. And I developed a contact allergy to latex (gloves) when I was a student nurse at 19 years old.  I know and I’m sorry that this is so lengthy. I’m trying to do everything I can to combat this condition, and I’m feeling very confused, anxious and angry about not getting adequate information as I try to educate and advocate for myself. I’m hoping someone here is more knowledgeable than me of how to navigate through all of this. Can anyone offer any advice?  Thank you for your time.  Respectfully,  Linda
    • trents
      I’m terrified it’s too late for me😭

      By trents · Posted

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    • Cathijean90
      I’m terrified it’s too late for me😭

      By Cathijean90 · Posted

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    • trents
      diagnostic testing variance

      By trents · Posted

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