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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
P.S. Oh! Oh! Forgot to mention a couple days ago. I've got a date for Saturday night! :D

Well, ok, maybe it's not really a real date (I should really get this clarified) .... .. hmmm .. . .. .old girlfriend Mei's Tennis Club is having an end-of-season party.

WooHoo!

I have nothing going on this weekend, though three of my kids have Christmas parties tonight, so I'm busy driving them around. :blink:

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blueeyedmanda Community Regular
blueeyedmanda
Posted
they raised the prices at our Salvation ARmy.........all the good stuff is now actually often MORE than it cost originally.......... :angry: 'tis EGREGIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

\

They did at my mom's now, and some stuff is like 5.19 and odd prices. Our store is still 1.99-3.99.

I bought some nice plain long sleeve T's at Wally World the other day for $6. I think I might go back and get more colors. They are real comfortable and I wear a few to work. So now it is time to get more colors :)

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
It's only when I purchased something and they printed out the label, which has the ingredient list on it, was I able to read what was in it, btw no gluten to be found. Crazy.

It seems like a one step forward/two steps back kind of thing as far as disclosure of ingredients/labeling.

um.....okay.............WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT the hell?????????? :blink: :blink:

candy case.....do you mean homemade candy? and there's no ingredients unless you BUY something? good Lord.............what can this mean? Must write letter to Whole Foods now.......

Jess - "2" - as if we might have forgotten the question!!!! :lol::lol: Still got number 2 or is he stored away in a 55-gallon drum?

:lol:

OMG dated a guy in Monterey - a crazy man (nearly all of them were in that town)...and he did always say "..........and Bob's your uncle!" and it was indeed quite funny........

Me too . . . Hubby has had two do's this week and one more tomorrow. I wasn't invited to any of them . . . all work related . . . at least I don't have to worry about what I'm gonna wear (jeans) or what to do with my hair (comb it) . . . huh, Sarah?

phew! dodged that bullet! Suppose if I were to be invited to any Christmas fete I would have to............beadazzle my sweats.........

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

now heading out to buy new chapsticks and fish oil.....................'tis an exciting day indeed................

*yawn*

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
. . . at least I don't have to worry about what I'm gonna wear (jeans) or what to do with my hair (comb it)

:lol: Ditto on the jeans and the dragged through the hedge backwards look.

BUT HECK - Janet!!!!! We don't need to go to any fancy schmancy dinner do (requiring spanx magic knickers)

NO!!! come over!!!....we'll have Ameretto and tea (lots) with stew - followed by ice cream :blink: - Bob's your bleedin' uncle !!!!! :lol:

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
:lol: Ditto on the jeans and the dragged through the hedge backwards look.

BUT HECK - Janet!!!!! We don't need to go to any fancy schmancy dinner do (requiring spanx magic knickers)

NO!!! come over!!!....we'll have Ameretto and tea (lots) with stew - followed by ice cream :blink: - Bob's your bleedin' uncle !!!!! :lol:

Not THAT sounds like a proper Christmas Party!!!! Do we have to have the stew . . . how 'bout just the Amaretto and ice cream? Now here's one of my favorite drinks - called a Toasted Almond. It's Kahlua, Amaretto and Ice Cream - (can also be made with cream or milk).

tom Contributor
tom
Posted
I'm not tellin :ph34r:

saynomore saynomore ;)

(But w/ a "Location: in the middle of Puget Sound", methinks that could be taken more literally w/ at least one of two bodies. You just KNOW Jess would get flow & tide charts and calculate the best 4-minute increment & precise spot to make the dump! And timing the entire sordid morbid mischief around the new moon!! :ph34r: )

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
Sting wears panties???? :blink:

I think I would've remembered seeing that.

So Bev??? Are you cheating on us w/ another thread of silliness?

:angry:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I believe the reference was to MC Hammer getting his panties in a twist over "Can't Pluck this" and how Sting would NOT get his panties in a twist over "Every Egg you Break" .......so I offered to twist his panties....but then I discovered Sting goes COMMANDO and does yoga naked. Oh My!!!!!!!!!! So I'm leaving tonight for England where I will be involved in a 6 month yoga retreat led by Sting. See ya (yes- I KNOW he's cocky, but stil......)

I am NOT cheating on you and I DO have heat........just feel like SHITE! Little lymie bugs are killing me :angry: :angry:

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Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted
Me too . . . Hubby has had two do's this week and one more tomorrow. I wasn't invited to any of them . . . all work related . . . at least I don't have to worry about what I'm gonna wear (jeans) or what to do with my hair (comb it) . . . huh, Sarah?

Shyeah! And I said I wasn't going to second guess myself, right???? Then WHY are there suddenly 20 articles of clothing and misc. shoes suddenly strewn all over the bedroom!!!???

phew! dodged that bullet! Suppose if I were to be invited to any Christmas fete I would have to............beadazzle my sweats.........

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: Yeah, but I bet you could pull it off! B)

Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted
I am NOT cheating on you and I DO have heat........just feel like SHITE! Little lymie bugs are killing me :angry: :angry:

Kill them back! :angry: Stupid buggies.

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
EMILY!!!!!!!!!!! I want to see a picture THIS INSTANT of your brother! :angry:

Okay....minus the Cary Grant glasses, the 1952 zoot suit, and the oiled, rat-pack hair, this is kinda what one is facing with my bro. (Same height, nose, mouth...ya know, the father-to-son genetic stuff. :D

Well, there's the rub. It's NoSoyBoy that's uncomfortable w/ it!

I agree, Janet...NoSoyBoy conjures up a vision of leotards and cape. Don't tell me that this was your username at one time, Tom. :lol:So not you...even if you are a boy and don't do soy...Sounds somehow like an all-male Asian band. :lol:

I'm not tellin :ph34r:

I know it involved metallic glue.... :o

BUT HECK - Janet!!!!! We don't need to go to any fancy schmancy dinner do (requiring spanx magic knickers)

NO!!! come over!!!....we'll have Ameretto and tea (lots) with stew - followed by ice cream :blink: - Bob's your bleedin' uncle !!!!! :lol:

I wanna come!! :):)

Now here's one of my favorite drinks - called a Toasted Almond. It's Kahlua, Amaretto and Ice Cream - (can also be made with cream or milk).

Oops...no...can't come...that's hyperglycemic city.... :(

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted
Not THAT sounds like a proper Christmas Party!!!! Do we have to have the stew . . . how 'bout just the Amaretto and ice cream? Now here's one of my favorite drinks - called a Toasted Almond. It's Kahlua, Amaretto and Ice Cream - (can also be made with cream or milk).

note to self:

add Amaretto and Kahlua to shopping list (w/ chapstick and fish oil)

OMG I'm coming to Nikki's party too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In my bedazzled sweats and hair dragged backwards through a hedgehog.......er, hedge........

:lol:

Shyeah! And I said I wasn't going to second guess myself, right???? Then WHY are there suddenly 20 articles of clothing and misc. shoes suddenly strewn all over the bedroom!!!???

oh, yes, 'tis simply the Female Outfit Picking Disorder......shows itself at the most inoportune of times........always, always before parties, EVERY single time before going out on a date, and even quite often before work........

Bev - OMG - sting's panties and nekkid yoga were SOOOOOOOOOOO many pages ago, we just forgot!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good to have you back, kick those LYMIE BUGGERS in their chicken-butt arses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

harrumphhfffffffffffffffffff

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
Kill them back! :angry: Stupid buggies.

Oh how I try

and I try

And I try tr tra tra try

But I can't get no...............ahh...you know the rest.

I will be killing them by IV in the near future and you are ALL invited to put your favorite cocktails into my IV line. :P :P :P

Here's an Uncle Ray-bie for you:

Subject: A Christmas Gift

Christmas shopping for his wife, a man walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee . He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500 and takes it home.

On Christmas Eve, he presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on,

and model it for him.

Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it

might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling

naked, return it, and keep the $500 refund for myself."

So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.

The husband says, "Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!"

He never heard the shot.

Funeral on Thursday at Noon.

Closed coffin.

DingoGirl Enthusiast
DingoGirl
Posted

EMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

am trying to envision it.......squinting eyes...........turning sideways.............YES, I think he might do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! post photo toute suite and then......well then he'll have to join the silly thread and we will see if he can hold his own

amaretto and kahlua

*SNORT*

I did a spoiler

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
I know it involved metallic glue.... :o

:o:o:o

I just had an epiphany!!!! Jess, you and the yeti didn't happen to make a quick trip to Vegas did you? The yeti isn't #2 is he? You didn't try to get rid of him by staging that whole elaborate metallic glue/electrode thing, did you? You can tell us . . . no one will judge you here.

I wanna come!! :):)

Oops...no...can't come...that's hyperglycemic city.... :(

No, No, No, . . . not like we all have to drink the same thing . . . BYOB of choice, missy!!!

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted

OMG... :lol::lol::lol::lol:

Speaking of the fifties....

Open Original Shared Link

Jestgar Rising Star
Jestgar
Posted
I just had an epiphany!!!! Jess, you and the yeti didn't happen to make a quick trip to Vegas did you? The yeti isn't #2 is he? You didn't try to get rid of him by staging that whole elaborate metallic glue/electrode thing, did you? You can tell us . . . no one will judge you here.

AAAAgggg I believe I was so transparent!! And here I thought I was being all clever and stuff.

What's a girl supposed to do after all that talk about his "inseam" :ph34r: :ph34r:

No, but really Tom, size doesn't matter..... ;)

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
AAAAgggg I believe I was so transparent!! And here I thought I was being all clever and stuff.

What's a girl supposed to do after all that talk about his "inseam" :ph34r::ph34r:

No, but really Tom, size doesn't matter..... ;)

Whaaaaaaaaaa.......

Our yeti is....dead?........ :o:o:o

...Why, yes it does, Jess... :ph34r:

Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted

OMG! It just keeps getting better and better!

Background- 2 mnths ago, Brian (hubby) got a gash on his left ring-finger at work. It wasn't bad enough to need stitches, but I told him to take off his wedding ring, in case the finger swelled. But nooooooo, he didn't want to. Of course it immediately got infected, and it has been so swollen, it's impossible to remove the ring. We've been doctoring it at home, trying like hell to get it cleared up and healed, but it got worse, then better, then worse, etc. until finally last night I told he had HAD to go to the family doc today.

The wound is now wrapped almost all the way around his finger, and spread the entire length between the bottom two knuckles- completely raw. Every time it would seem to be nearly healed, the new skin would suddenly die. I told him this was ridiculous, bite the bullet and go to the freaking doctor.

So he just called me. He is on his way to jeweller that our doc sent him to, to have the ring cut off. He has severe eczema from a sudden-onset allergy to gold, and a big fat staph infection on top of it.

Despite the fact that it seems like the heinosity will never end, I'm feeling a persistent urge to giggle... he's allergic to his wedding ring. I can't help being amused at that aspect.

He still wants to go the party, though, so I'm not off the hook. <_< I realized I probably won't be able to eat much of anything there (remembering from last year.) But there's free wine, so who cares???

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
he's allergic to his wedding ring. I can't help being amused at that aspect.

:lol: :lol:

Put on your jeans, your black shirt, and your black heels, put your hair in a clip and put on some lip gloss. Eat some food before you leave to soak up the wine. Have a great time!

tom Contributor
tom
Posted
I have a story on the other side of the spectrum, it seems my Whole Foods is training the folks there to say "Nothing" is gluten-free, due to the fact that they can't guarantee cc, which I totally understand..... . ..

It seems like a one step forward/two steps back kind of thing as far as disclosure of ingredients/labeling.

Damn lawyers!!!! Once 'fast food' got sued, the cat was out of the canvas re-useable WhF bag!!

A little sign w/ "hey, it's as gluten-free & free of cc as we can make it" would suit me.

candy case.....do you mean homemade candy?

HeheheheheHA I forgot - recently saw home-made marshmallows for sale at TJ's. I think $6 or $8 for only 10 or 12 of them!!

Around same size but all sharp corners.

And definitely hand-cut.

So THERE's a potential moneymaker for ya!

phew! dodged that bullet! Suppose if I were to be invited to any Christmas fete I would have to............beadazzle my sweats.........

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Omg rofl the BeDaZzLeR!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
Whaaaaaaaaaa.......

Our yeti is....dead?........ :o:o:o

...Why, yes it does, Jess... :ph34r:

Whooaaaa, slow down there, Emily . . . I believe it was just an attempt . . . I think it would take more that a little electricity to finish him off. However, I do think that he and Jess are probably gonna call it quits. It was doomed to begin with. A whirlwind romance. He swept her off her feet . . . literally. It was his animal magnetism. And with Jess being a scientist, she just had to experiment with his magnetic field. I'm sure both families were in an uproar what with him having no discernable income and her being - well, hairless - compared to his family. Plus, Jess's employer would probably have denied him coverage under her medical insurance . . . once again, a yeti-exclusion clause.

Ridgewalker Contributor
Ridgewalker
Posted
:lol: :lol:

Put on your jeans, your black shirt, and your black heels, put your hair in a clip and put on some lip gloss. Eat some food before you leave to soak up the wine. Have a great time!

Somehow I knew you'd find it funny, too! :lol: Sounds like a perfect plan. Thanks! :wub:

tom Contributor
tom
Posted
Oh how I try

and I try

And I try tr tra tra try

But I can't get no...............ahh...you know the rest.

<crossing fingers> oh let it be the bridge, where it ends w/ "girlie action". ;)

The husband says, "Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!"

He never heard the shot.

:lol:

. .. and we will see if he can hold his own _____

*SNORT*

I did a spoiler

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol:

holdhisownwhatholdhisownwhat!! :lol:

(takes a second w/out a mouse)

AHH!!! Heheheeeheee :lol:

No, but really Tom, size doesn't matter..... ;)

...Why, yes it does, Jess... :ph34r:

Yeah, Jess .. . I was gonna say . ...<uhh wth can I possibly get away w/ saying?> . .. .need a list of who to contact for testimony otherwise? :o:P

LOL Sarah! Allergic to wedding ring! :lol:

elye Community Regular
elye
Posted
But there's free wine, so who cares???

This is all that really matters...! :lol::lol:

:lol::lol:

Put on your jeans, your black shirt, and your black heels, put your hair in a clip and put on some lip gloss. Eat some food before you leave to soak up the wine. Have a great time!

Great advice...hope you have a splendid time. :)

Whooaaaa, slow down there, Emily . . . I believe it was just an attempt . . . I think it would take more that a little electricity to finish him off. However, I do think that he and Jess are probably gonna call it quits.

This is probably a good thing...can you imagine taking him home to meet your parents?

Mygawd....this would be prime time for a newbie to be peeking on here...chatter about a Silly lusting after a yeti in response to constant talk about his...inseam...Jess, was it always changing?...

Darn210 Enthusiast
Darn210
Posted
This is probably a good thing...can you imagine taking him home to meet your parents?

Mygawd....this would be prime time for a newbie to be peeking on here...chatter about a Silly lusting after a yeti in response to constant talk about his...inseam...Jess, was it always changing?...

And I'll go ahead and ask for Tom . . . what were you doing with your tongue at the time? That's what you would have asked, right Tom?

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