The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Darn210]

Oh . . . there's Emily . . . Hi Emily

I'm going to pull an Emily . . .

Hey, everybody, I'm just popping in to tell you that I just wrote something fantabulously funny. It would have made you all roll on the floor with laughter. Tears pooring from your eyes. Oops. Lost it! Damn and it made me look thinner, too (OK, that last part was me )

[tom]

Caaaaaaaaaatchin' up! (In security line! )

. . . . When my husband was . . . wait, I don't know what the statute of limitations is . . . best not put it in writing.

And Tom, I'm late . . . but wanted to add . . . Too Cool (get it? Cool?) about your brother . . . and also, very sorry to hear the circumstances.

Not to lobby for another round of sympathy posts, but since the general topic is up and I'm sure some of you weren't around when I've said this before and it affected me SO very ginormously, I may as well mention that I think my Celiac was triggered when my little brother died in '96, also in AK, when his bushplane crashed.

Needless to say, my sister and I have become quite close. And I'm seeing her in a few hours!!!!!!!!! :)

(Seems too morose for the sillythread, but what the hey)

. . .. The activity is decorating the cookie you are about to eat!!!! GRRRRRRR!!! I wish they would consult me on things like this. I could come up with a different activity and a different snack!!!!

Whoa . .. "Grrrrrrrrrrrr" is RIGHT!!!!!

I think you look adorable in your current avatar

LOL Jess!

Woohoo! iPod for Nikki's son!!

Hello Sillies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've missed you guys!

And you are .. . .. . .?????

BEV!! You were gone far too long!! Good to see ya!

Tom - I was too mad at you to tell you how touching it is that your bro has a ridge named after him.......... but I've cooled off and I can tell you now.

Yipes I sure didn't mean to do anything like THAT!!!

It's not like I pretended for even a second that I'd leave it there.

It was at least as much about demonstrating my mastery of the magic triangle as it was about the futile attempt at silliness.

Sorry Dingy. All was erased this mornin'.

[tom]

Caaaaaaaaaatchin' up! (In security line! )

. . . . When my husband was . . . wait, I don't know what the statute of limitations is . . . best not put it in writing.

And Tom, I'm late . . . but wanted to add . . . Too Cool (get it? Cool?) about your brother . . . and also, very sorry to hear the circumstances.

Not to lobby for another round of sympathy posts, but since the general topic is up and I'm sure some of you weren't around when I've said this before and it affected me SO very ginormously, I may as well mention that I think my Celiac was triggered when my little brother died in '96, also in AK, when his bushplane crashed.

Needless to say, my sister and I have become quite close. And I'm seeing her in a few hours!!!!!!!!! :)

(Seems too morose for the sillythread, but what the hey)

. . .. The activity is decorating the cookie you are about to eat!!!! GRRRRRRR!!! I wish they would consult me on things like this. I could come up with a different activity and a different snack!!!!

Whoa . .. "Grrrrrrrrrrrr" is RIGHT!!!!!

I think you look adorable in your current avatar

LOL Jess!

Woohoo! iPod for Nikki's son!!

Hello Sillies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've missed you guys!

And you are .. . .. . .?????

BEV!! You were gone far too long!! Good to see ya!

Tom - I was too mad at you to tell you how touching it is that your bro has a ridge named after him.......... but I've cooled off and I can tell you now.

Yipes I sure didn't mean to do anything like THAT!!!

It's not like I pretended for even a second that I'd leave it there.

It was at least as much about demonstrating my mastery of the magic triangle as it was about the futile attempt at silliness.

Sorry Dingy. All was erased this mornin'.

[Jestgar]

OK all. So the yeti is fine. I've had his hair done to minimize any scorched patches and he's been buffed and brushed.

His memory is a bit....fuzzy....about certain events (don't believe anything he says about chocolate sauce) but I think he sort of has a vague idea that things have been going well for him.

He's gotten kind of pouty about all the rain here so I'd like to send him somewhere snowy. Any takers?

Canada?

Murphy ridge?

[elye]

Okay, Okay...

Internet back up. Telephone guy came today, fixed one line that includes the computer and two phones, but didn't fix the second line as it would have meant going into the ceiling, finding the wire, blah blah blah....so DH is going to make an attempt at replacing this said wire. GAD.... Actually, this repairman didn't seem to know too much about what he was doing....ninety bucks later, and only half of my phones are working. I'm actually suspecting it was my dad in a techie uniform.

TOO MUCH to catch up and comment on! Most pressing:

Tom: What an incredible legacy your brother left. He sounded like a beautiful person, and Murphy Ridge so fitting. Thank you for sharing his story, and letting us get to know you a little better. And another brother lost in '96? Lots of tragedy to get through...I'm sorry to hear of all this loss, and I certainly can see how you and your sister would be so close.

Speaking of looking thinner (Janet's lost post), I must say I looked fairly slim, all in black, last evening at our big dinner. Wore pants, so there'd be NO chance of getting things caught up in my underwear. I also wanted to be ready in case a massive game of Twister broke out (can't be in a dress and win...no chance)...

You all do NOT need the heinous spellcheck when you have me....come, come, now. Specialer is accepted by spellcheck, which is LUDICROUS....the comparative form of special is more special. But I like specialer better. Sounds playfuler. Heinously is the adverb form of heinous. Heinosity...? Nope. But it should be. What a great noun this could be.

What else?...Oh! Tom! Your fictional uncle. Just hafta ask: When children have make-believe friends, they are usually friendly, supportive beings, someone to whom kids seek comfort from, and can sometimes take the form of a little dog or kitten. Now...an imaginary, alcoholic uncle appearing to urinate on gifts and pass out under your tree? What kind of Christmases did you have?

Susie: You look stunning in your photo. If you really do look a whole lot better than this in real life, I will now remain forever intimidated by and in awe of you...

And ugly pics are always a good idea to send away. I use the same process when I tell people that I am in fact fifty. They stare at me wide-eyed, and stammer, "MYGAWD! You look incredible for fifty!"

I cannot bring myself to use the same approach for my weight, however...No bloody way I'm bumpin' that up...

[Mtndog]

Better than chamagne swilling jacuzzi antics???

Is there ANYTHING better? I can't come up with a single thing!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sitting here thinking of braving the crowd at Tarjey tonight to get a picture frame. Can I interest anyone in the trip?

Yep- warm up the car- I'll be there in 5-I'm SO BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe that means I'm getting better? Wait- forget about the antibiotic IV, bring on the TEQUILA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In my own defense, I didn't know whose head was going where. And so that the rest of you don't get jealous because you didn't get picked to dance, I had to pick the people who have the biggest heads (in their pics so that it wouldn't get all fuzzy when I scaled it).

:lol: :lol: :lol: Do big heads=Schwetty Balls?

Not to lobby for another round of sympathy posts, but since the general topic is up and I'm sure some of you weren't around when I've said this before and it affected me SO very ginormously, I may as well mention that I think my Celiac was triggered when my little brother died in '96, also in AK, when his bushplane crashed.

Needless to say, my sister and I have become quite close. And I'm seeing her in a few hours!!!!!!!!! :)

Hey- mine was triggered by similar circumstances (my mom).

OK all. So the yeti is fine. I've had his hair done to minimize any scorched patches and he's been buffed and brushed.

Oh no.....she's been BUFFING THE YETI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mtndog]

OK, so now I have to ask . . . EGREGIOUS? why that's a Susie word!!! She's rubbing off on you!! . . . Not sure if that's good or bad

Not only is she good looking, but she has a fab vocab!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I agree on the POOPY COW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DingoGirl]

You've been lucky so far! My friends and family are the type that picks and teases constantly, and that's ok. But I know her husband mocks my "gluten-free endeavors" ceaselessly, and I think it's sunk into her subconscious. Or maybe not, maybe it's all her. In any case, I think it's an EGREGIOUS breach of best friend behavior guidelines!

*snort*

sorry - but I hafta laugh at this wordage..............

Janet - - OMG - it CAN'T be good if I am rubbing off on her....it just can't........ha ha ha

YipesI sure didn't mean to do anything like THAT!!!

It's not like I pretended for even a second that I'd leave it there.

It was at least as much about demonstrating my mastery of the magic triangle as it was about the futile attempt at silliness.

Sorry Dingy. All was erased this mornin'

phew!!!!!!! I have decided I must be careful about spewing my complaints about here so freely.......you never know when someone will become celiac....join the forum.......and then find him or herself on the SILLY THREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

His memory is a bit....fuzzy....about certain events (don't believe anything he says about chocolate sauce) but I think he sort of has a vague idea that things have been going well for him.

:lol:

YES! Murphy Ridge! But........will anyone be there to tend him????????? and how will he find his way back to us.........

Susie: You look stunning in your photo. If you really do look a whole lot better than this in real life, I will now remain forever intimidated by and in awe of you...

OMG - I am actually LESS attractive today, in real life. Got my hair dyed yesterday - thank God a semi-permanent as it is SO dark there is a slight Wayne Newton quality to it. Must wash it three or four times tomorrow to AMELIORATE. Anywho here is my list of plastic surgery requirements:

*eye job (bags above are hanging over too far)

*boobs - boobs - BOOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*ears totally flattened to my head (they stick out just a bit - not that much - people actually do roll their eyes at me over this one but I am crazed over it)

*slight lipsosuction of tummy

*hair extensions

*bonded teeth - BECAUSE THEY HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEN I will be fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So......I've decided that perhpas NEW YEAR's cards/photos will go out? harrumph.....

urinating imaginary uncle.........

Bev said SCHWETTY BALLS and BUFFING THE YETI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bah hahahahahhaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[CarlaB]

Carla, question from a couple of days ago that I didn't answer . . . we were probably sitting in chairs in her driveway watching the kids play or shopping . . . those are pretty much the only activities we would do when I was there. She lived in Quail Run (I think that's what it was called) on Arbor Hill Road/Drive/Court(?).

Hmm, well too bad she doesn't still live here ... we could have gotten together next time your in town.

So........the news is on......and there's a man that just moved here.......and here's what happened - his skin is BLUE. Actually, seriously, blue-tinged. So......he was living in Bend, Oregon, but apparently people were too freaked out by his blue skin.....so he's moved (oh, this should go over really well in Madera - ha ha ha ha). He did say that some women like it. So.....the reason his skin is blue is because of this SILVER "tincture" antibiotic concoction he drinks every day. WTH? So......his hair and beard are silver.......but right around his mouth, the hair of the mustache/beard is rather distinctly ORANGE-tinged - sort of gumball orange. And.........his TEETH are also exactly the same coloUr - this gumball orange. Well, blue and orange are complimentary coloUrs.........

the result, my friends, is MOST disquieting. I have got to find and recruit this man.

I have heard of this happening .... mainly to people who make their own silver tincture and then drink too much of it .... sounds like he needs a FIR sauna ... that will get rid of those metals. I can't believe he still drinks the stuff. Hmm, just start calling him smurf ....

[elye]

OK all. So the yeti is fine. I've had his hair done to minimize any scorched patches and he's been buffed and brushed.

He's gotten kind of pouty about all the rain here so I'd like to send him somewhere snowy. Any takers?

My BIL has given the okay to train our yeti for the Yukon Quest. The Iditerod will not accept bipedal creatures on their entered teams. Now, BIL may be able to train him to stay on all fours while running, but I don't think he wants to chance it. Jess, you were involved in some...interesting...things with said yeti...was he ever on all fours?

Is there ANYTHING better? I can't come up with a single thing!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOTHING was better than that bubbling hot tub, out in a snowy, wooded hillside, glasses of champagne filled and refilled. Need my magic triangle!! Get me back there!

Schwetty Balls?

That's the old German guy who was my high school janitor!

Oh no.....she's been BUFFING THE YETI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amazing what this poor beast has been through, and what he's gotten away with. Most remarkable of all is the fact that at no time were there cops cuffing the yeti...

YES! Murphy Ridge! But........will anyone be there to tend him????????? and how will he find his way back to us.........

HEY! Perhaps Murphy Ridge is along the route of the Yukon Quest! It starts in Fairbanks, I believe, and ends in Whitehorse. Our yeti could be leading a fine team right through this special place, Tom. Magnficent!

[blueeyedmanda]

So I got some great news from my mom. Turns out my mom will be plus one from now on. My parents are foster kids, and she was called to take in a baby girl today. My mom will pick her up tomorrow. All we know so far is she is 6 months, she has a head of blonde hair her name is Sierra (they think) .

My mom and dad havent had kids in a year, with my sister being pregnant and other things my mom took some time off. This little gift comes just a few days before Christmas. So will be shopping for some little kid things too.

Just had to share that all with you.

[elye]

That's wonderful, Amanda! What a Christmas gift....

[blueeyedmanda]

:)

[tom]

OK all. So the yeti is fine. I've had his hair done to minimize any scorched patches and he's been buffed and brushed.

Murphy ridge?

Awww thx Jess

[blueeyedmanda]

We may not get snow for Christmas but the Yeti is always welcome here....do you think he will behave in church?

[tom]

OK all. So the yeti is fine. I've had his hair done to minimize any scorched patches and he's been buffed and brushed.

Murphy ridge?

Awww thx Jess

[tom]

Hmmmmmmm will THIS one be a double-post too?

OMG I use firefox also....it is annoying. underlines in red things that are wrong or suspect......such as CELIAC...............

I'm sure it can be turned off, disabled, uninstalled or even told "hey Duh! Celiac IS a word".

.... - sort of gumball orange. And.........his TEETH are also exactly the same coloUr - this gumball orange. Well, blue and orange are complimentary coloUrs.........

the result, my friends, is MOST disquieting. I have got to find and recruit this man.

:lol:

AAARRRRGGGHHHH!

Just lost ANOTHER witty post, catching up, telling you all where I've been....

Hafta summarize later.

Don't make me come up there!!

Or was it you that said the triangle was only on the [FWD] button and not on [bACK]??

EMILY!!!!!!!!!!!! use your head girl!!!!!!! Invoke the power of the magic triangle!!!!!!!!!!!

It's sometimes TOO powerful.

I read once, that when packing for a trip--- Pack what you think you'll need. Then remove half of it and take twice as much money!

<tom needs to get back to work>

And I am uber-irritated with my best friend. We have been best friends since we were 12 years old, and the girl thinks "this gluten thing" is all in my head.

Alleged "top doctors" didn't believe me, but friends knew how much I'd changed.

That blows, Sarah.

Did you guys know we're all very HIP and TRENDY!? That's right, diarrhea and uncontrollable farting is the epitome of cool.

New avatar is my piki-pimped Angelina Jolie imitation at my 40th birthday pah-tay! Pretty? Pretty silly is more like it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Loooo-keen gewwwwwwwwd!

Oh . . . there's Emily . . . Hi Emily

I'm going to pull an Emily . . .

Hey, everybody, I'm just popping in to tell you that I just wrote something fantabulously funny. It would have made you all roll on the floor with laughter. Tears pouring from your eyes. Oops. Lost it! Damn and it made me look thinner, too (OK, that last part was me )

LMAO :lol:

[DingoGirl]

um........Bev.....just to clarify..........WHAT is "piki pimped?" a new thing you have not shared wif us???????????

and OMG.......ARE we the latest rage????????? diarrheaous, nasal-vomiting, celiacs??????

AMANDA! I went to Target tonight and did not see you. Searched and searched, screaming out your name at the top of my lungs......... :lol

OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friends, I have received a bit of information today that has me MOST titillated. And this just shows what a wicked, wicked girl I am.

Some of you will remember my ex-almost-fiance, Robert.......who broke my heart quite savagely at the time of my diagnosis. LOooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOONG story and I shan't bore you with the details......see the first, um, 600 pages of the OMG thread for details.

so anywho..........a couple of weeks ago I heard that he and his NEW WIFE - whom we went to high school with, by the way - were "crazy in love" adn all this sort of crap that put me into a spin cycle of grieving depression for......well, since then.

HARRUMPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay. So one of my best friends did some sleuthing the other day......and asked the mother of one of Robert's daughter's former best friends (does that even make sense?) how the marriage was going.......and how R's daughter was handling things.........as she has NEVER shared her dad with anyone, adn is nearly 14...........HIGHLY DYSFUNCTIONAL SITUATION.......please don't even get me started. the power that girl has........unbelievable.

So...........word has it that she HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATES her new stepmother.....and that she wishes that her dad had married ME. Well..........the thing is......the new stepmother (a very nice person, BTW) is trying - AS DID I - to change things and enforce some discipline - AKA THE WORD "NO" for this wicked child (wicked by no fault of her own - her father made her this way)...........and things are NOT going well........at all........the girl is wreaking all sorts of havoc and fiercely infatuated with the 15-y-old son of her stepmother, who lives with them (not good)........

blah blah blah BLAH

long story short........

Dingy is

VINDICATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know this is terribly petty and mean-spirited........but now, even though I was a crazy-ass gluten brain, I seem to have some credibility (there were other things said that indicated this).............

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I am out of my mind with some small gleeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

must go to bed now.

thank you for listening to my ridiculousness............

[tom]

omg if my sister can hear my incessant chuckling w/ sporadic guffaws, she must think I'm deranged. But I think she's asleep.

So many sillyposts striking me tonight as SO very funny.

NOOOOOOOO!!! overemoticonized!!!

(Screw that, I'm splittin' the post)

I'm actually suspecting it was my dad in a techie uniform.

He's EVERYwhere!!

... Wore pants, so there'd be NO chance of getting things caught up in my underwear. I also wanted to be ready in case a massive game of Twister broke out

Heehee i see a large ballroom w/ 800 contorted ppl Twistering

What else?...Oh! Tom! Your fictional uncle. Just hafta ask: When children have make-believe friends, they are usually friendly, supportive beings, someone to whom kids seek comfort from, and can sometimes take the form of a little dog or kitten. Now...an imaginary, alcoholic uncle appearing to urinate on gifts and pass out under your tree? What kind of Christmases did you have?

LOL overall pissy?

<co-poohbah say playfuler>

:lol: :lol: Do big heads=Schwetty Balls?

I bet I'd get this if the sidekick did flash (aka could load that site)

Hey- mine was triggered by similar circumstances (my mom).

phew!!!!!!! I have decided I must be careful about spewing my complaints about here so freely.......you never know when someone will become celiac....join the forum.......and then find him or herself on the SILLY THREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know this is terribly petty and mean-spirited.......

<checking betting pool> . .. . Who had 5hrs 48min???

[tom]

YES! Murphy Ridge! But........will anyone be there to tend him????????? and how will he find his way back to us.........

ahm figgerin the beast in 'is element be needin' no hue-man tendin'.

Well, there's just the one 'road', already closed for months. But he could follow it down to the Motherlode Lodge (as seen in avatars last July) then take Palmer-Fishhook Hwy along the Little Suisitna, then hitchhike once he's closer to town?

But really .. . .. .he might rather scour the Talkeetnas for a mate.

Maybe finding the road is a task in itself. Shouldn't he be able to smell the human caretakers up at the Mine bldgs? (Read an AnchDailyNews piece about them just yesterday - I DID!!! (I use 'google alerts' and get email about any new article on Hatcher Pass) - they're an older couple from TX)

It's straight out of The Shining.

Pat had a story about a rookie Ranger that volunteered to be the caretaker solo. In the spring they found him slightly wacko.

He'd made a couple dozen little ppl out of peanuts to have someone to talk to.

Oh rofl I wish I remembered more of it!!!

HEY! Perhaps Murphy Ridge is along the route of the Yukon Quest! It starts in Fairbanks, I believe, and ends in Whitehorse. Our yeti could be leading a fine team right through this special place, Tom. Magnficent!

Looks like I'll be packing warmer clothes, cuz I'm not missin THIS no way no how!

(Never imagined I'd get to see 'Murphy Ridge' in print so much. )

Hi Sierra!!!! <frantic waving>

Friends, I have received a bit of information today that has me MOST titillated.

. .. . .

. . . ..

blah blah blah BLAH

long story short........

too late <bahdompbomp>

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I am out of my mind with some small gleeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!

One Silly's glee is ALL Sillies' glee. :)

(I think I'll embroider that on a pillow!)

[blueeyedmanda]

I skipped Target last night to get the house ready for my mom and the baby. I leave right from work tonight to go to her house and they will come back with me tomorrow. I had to make room in the second bedroom for a portacrib.

Maybe I will catch Target tonight at my moms or if it is too late...Wally World.....ugh!

[elye]

And a fair mornin' to you all....!

Okay, December 20th....(need an emoticon suggesting.....anxiousness...fear?)...

MIL flies into Ottawa today.

Fifteen-day visit, seven of which will be spent here.

Now, she is an undiagnosed, denying celiac, so if by chance she is deciding at this moment to finally do some reading on the subject, and stumbles upon this board, and exclaims, "My heavens!", ...imagine a very refined, Northumberland accent..."Elye....that just may be Emily! Now what does she have to say in her little messages?", I shall leave things at that for now.

Gaaaaaaaahhhhhh....

Pat had a story about a rookie Ranger that volunteered to be the caretaker solo. In the spring they found him slightly wacko.

He'd made a couple dozen little ppl out of peanuts to have someone to talk to.

Oh rofl I wish I remembered more of it!!!

Tom, try to remember more of this story. Gotta hear more about this guy..

Looks like I'll be packing warmer clothes, cuz I'm not missin THIS no way no how!

Me neither. We'll all meet at the finish line in Whitehorse, with big signs, doing the wave...

Yes, Tom, the name Murphy's Ridge has a terrific ring to it. My BIL could have it emblazoned onto the harness that the yeti will be wearing, as is often done with names of sponsors or causes..."We're running for Murphy's Ridge"...no, there isn't enough room for that.

"Murphy's Ridge...Cold as a fridge".

One Silly's glee is ALL Sillies' glee.

(I think I'll embroider that on a pillow!)

Already on my bumper sticker...

[jerseyangel]

Friends, I have received a bit of information today that has me MOST titillated.

Hee Hee--then I must be mean-spirited too! What goes around, comes around

I skipped Target last night to get the house ready for my mom and the baby. I leave right from work tonight to go to her house and they will come back with me tomorrow. I had to make room in the second bedroom for a portacrib.

Amanda--I'm so happy for your parents--what special people they are

[jerseyangel]

We'll all meet at the finish line in Whitehorse, with big signs, doing the wave...

Capital idea!!!!

Murphy's Ridge--or BUST!!!!!!!

Onward!

[Ridgewalker]

OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friends, I have received a bit of information today that has me MOST titillated. And this just shows what a wicked, wicked girl I am.

Hey, there's no harm in a little smirk and a "HA!" ...maybe a "Neener, neener" thrown in for good measure!