The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[DingoGirl]

OOOPS

Must edit my post.

good gawd. EGRESS is a noun!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so we will change that:

"Janet, did any vomit find its way through the nose as its EGRESS?"

:lol:

[CarlaB]

I hate to break it to some of you ... I'm 44 and my daughter is 19 .... I can see how someone in their early 20's could talk about fixing a single one of us up with her dad ... he's probably only a few years older ....

Uh, yeah, we can pretend like it's not true ..... and we'll go on doing that .... but I just wanted to defend Alex!

[tom]

OK Tom--I see you--tell us all about it

Whoa there Eagle-Eye! I just flipped to web when I grabbed a coffee at the Shell on the way back to the freeway!!!

NOW I'm "home" & can type.

So cool to meet Andrea!! (I was thinking of writing MommaSpice but I can't as she looks far too young for that moniker)

And great to meet the kids!! Heehee

Time flew, of course, & I had to go, since right before I'd left Portland my sister had said she wanted to (finally) go get a Christmas Tree once her older boy got out of school. And it was already an hr & a half past then.

Wish I could've stayed to meet Mitch too!!

[DingoGirl]

I hate to break it to some of you ... I'm 44 and my daughter is 19 .... I can see how someone in their early 20's could talk about fixing a single one of us up with her dad ... he's probably only a few years older ....

Uh, yeah, we can pretend like it's not true ..... and we'll go on doing that .... but I just wanted to defend Alex!

oh my gaaaaaaaaawd.......I know......Alex's dad IS in my demographic for dating!!!!!

and I DO like older men..............he's probably, what, 48? and I"m 46? so he's still older......

Time flew, of course, & I had to go, since right before I'd left Portland my sister had said she wanted to (finally) go get a Christmas Tree once her older boy got out of school. And it was already an hr & a half past then.

Wish I could've stayed to meet Mitch too!!

what a fabulous day! You met our Mother Hen, and then, onto tree shopping with sister and nephew!!!!!!!

COZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Darn210]

OOOPS

Must edit my post.

good gawd. EGRESS is a noun!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so we will change that:

"Janet, did any vomit find its way through the nose as its EGRESS?"

:lol:

I'm so glad you discovered your EGREGIOUS error. How humiliating it would be for you if I was the one that had to point that out to you.

**Snoooorrrtttt** (at myself as I have the dictionary open on my lap as I type to correct my own spelling!)

And now that you have Amelia-rated the situation, I will answer your query . . .

No nasal vomitousness noted.

[tom]

Those were fun times, poor Bulldogs never knew what hit them, all that negative energy coming their way last fall....

Fresno State had been SO good too!

Sports fans nationWIDE were perplexed at their downfall.

Nowwwwwwwwwww I know!

[~alex~]

I hate to break it to some of you ... I'm 44 and my daughter is 19 .... I can see how someone in their early 20's could talk about fixing a single one of us up with her dad ... he's probably only a few years older ....

Uh, yeah, we can pretend like it's not true ..... and we'll go on doing that .... but I just wanted to defend Alex!

Yeah, my dad is 53 . . . younger than Emily's brother if I am remembering correctly! But agree, definitely too old for anyone here ! And definitely not silly enough either . . . although many redeeming qualities to make up for that.

Okay, I was sleeping until our Christmas tree fell over AGAIN and woke me up! It startled the heck out of me and now I can't get back to sleep . We left it on the floor for now and we'll see what we can do with it tomorrow. I think there may be duct tape involved.

[DingoGirl]

Fresno State had been SO good too!

Sports fans nationWIDE were perplexed at their downfall.

Nowwwwwwwwwww I know!

*snooooooooooooort*

yup, we did it..........God was good to me over that. I mean, I wasn't wishing ANY ill directly to poor R, just his team.

:

Okay, I was sleeping until our Christmas tree fell over AGAIN and woke me up! It startled the heck out of me and now I can't get back to sleep . We left it on the floor for now and we'll see what we can do with it tomorrow. I think there may be duct tape involved.

OMG! yes, I think duct tape - the answer to everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

am considering applying it to my wrinkles at night, just to see, you know, what happens.

[tom]

Today I was at my Grandpa's and there was a bat in his apartment! . . . . .

. .. . .

. . .. I don't think this sounds very funny to explain it but it was hilarious if you were there!

Hehehe ahhhh but it DOES sound highly humoUrous the moment "bat in his apartment" hits!!

EMILY! excellent photo, and look at King Gustavius Augustus Celiacus Harrumphus!!!!!!!!

:lol:

. . .. - but it's hard to sneak a cookie 'cause I'm leaving evidence.

Drat!

(Keep tryin' tho!)

Susie: Someone in our midst has suggested setting you up with their father.

Alex??? What's your mom like and is she single?

(I love to say EGRESS)

the other day, in that revisiting of 1st zombie-man sighting, the phrase "indicating no bullet egress", referring to no dorsal bandage, jumped out at me as a fine example of the ever-entertaining susie-speak

And now that you have Amelia-rated the situation, I will answer your query . . .

No nasal vomitousness noted.

Heehee one of my Alaska nieces is named Amelia.

And I may as well weigh in .. . .. nostril bile . . .. .been there.. . yuck!.

And once just from a sneeze while eating an omelet, a cheesy chunk of ham ended up coming out of my nose. <ouch AND ewwwwwww>

P.S. Something peculiar, surprising and . ...well surprising's worth sayin' twice, struck me today.

Susie's "unflattering" current av actually . . . kinda . .. .more-than-a-little looks like my sister!! !!!!

How weird is that?????????????????????????????

[nikki-uk]

MIL flies into Ottawa today.

Fifteen-day visit, seven of which will be spent here.

Now, she is an undiagnosed, denying celiac, so if by chance she is deciding at this moment to finally do some reading on the subject, and stumbles upon this board, and exclaims, "My heavens!", ...imagine a very refined, Northumberland accent..."Elye....that just may be Emily! Now what does she have to say in her little messages?"

''Why eye mon!!!'' Emily's MIL is a Geordie .....(think Billy Elliott accent people) ...but dear gawd - must be THE hardest accent in the world to understand!!!!!!!!!!

Which leads me to my next discovery.......... Emily IS a coeliac spotter!!!!! (as I am)

I even think my Mum has it !!!.....see somebody shorter than average? = un dx'd coeliac........got a flat bum??? = un dx'd coeliac.......slimmer than me (how dare they! ) = definitely a coeliac

You bet...have I got the guy for her!

Uh...

...Sounds like this has been attempted before.

You've been a project in the past, Susie?....

.... ...dear god.....

Okay, I was sleeping until our Christmas tree fell over AGAIN and woke me up! It startled the heck out of me and now I can't get back to sleep . We left it on the floor for now and we'll see what we can do with it tomorrow. I think there may be duct tape involved.

What's going ON with that stupid tree????

OMG! yes, I think duct tape - the answer to everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

am considering applying it to my wrinkles at night, just to see, you know, what happens.

Indeed!!! ....do you think it would place boobs where they should be????

Ok, congrats to Amanda + family on the new xmas addition!!!!!

There needs to be more people in the world like Amanda's Mum

I went with my son on a trip out to an open air ice skating rink with his youth club yesterday.

All the kids at his club have some sort of disability/learning difficulty......but even the kids in wheelchairs were took out (in their chairs) onto the ice..........*gulp*.....you should have seen their little faces light up .....*sniff*....heartwarming indeed...

EDIT: Busted by the much feared emoticon police.......there were many more in this post ...but alas you will never know where or what....

[Darn210]

This is what my daughter told me she learned at school yesterday:

Sacajawea was an interpreter for Lewis and Clark (Yes, Good!)

Sacajawea was half Indian and half Native American (???)

[elye]

Mornin' Y'all!

My new pic struck me as particularly amusing this morning...here I am with two beautiful kids, a great DH, and I appear in my official Christmas avatar, posed in front of our lovely tree, with only my goofball sub-standard poodle....

Such is my life.....

I hope all of us, and those dear to us, have a healthy and prosperous year in 2008.

Hi, Peter! Happy, happy holidays to you!

OOOPS

Good gawd. EGRESS is a noun!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This reminds me of a great exchange that took place between me and my nephew many years ago. he was probably three, and I was reading a book to him. It spoke about the names for baby animals, and he was remembering them all. Cub, calf, etc. Then we came to baby eagles, which are eaglets. I asked him, "Ben, what do you think eaglet means?" He looked very puzzled for a moment, than replied, "Nine babies born at once?" Yep, a woman in the local hospital made medical history when she gave birth to a set of eaglets....

I hate to break it to some of you ... I'm 44 and my daughter is 19 .... I can see how someone in their early 20's could talk about fixing a single one of us up with her dad ... he's probably only a few years older ....

When I was in my twenties, I clearly remember thinking that I would know when I am truly old when a friend tries to set me up with her dad...The memory hit me when I read Alex's suggestion to Susie. Yep, reality bites. And bites....

No nasal vomitousness noted.

Many here have experienced nasal vomit egression (not to be confused with aggression, however vomit can in my experience be fairly aggressive, as well...), but curiously, I have not. I must have a less intricately wired vomit centRE.

am considering applying it to my wrinkles at night, just to see, you know, what happens.

[DingoGirl]

'

I went with my son on a trip out to an open air ice skating rink with his youth club yesterday.

All the kids at his club have some sort of disability/learning difficulty......but even the kids in wheelchairs were took out (in their chairs) onto the ice..........*gulp*.....you should have seen their little faces light up .....*sniff*....heartwarming indeed...

that is so sweet!!!!!!!! they must have loved it!

Sacajawea was an interpreter for Lewis and Clark (Yes, Good!)

Sacajawea was half Indian and half Native American (???)

:lol:

Mornin' Y'all!

My new pic struck me as particularly amusing this morning...here I am with two beautiful kids, a great DH, and I appear in my official Christmas avatar, posed in front of our lovely tree, with only my goofball sub-standard poodle....

Such is my life.....

goofball, indeed..........looks like a real ham!

Emily said "intricately wired vomit centRE" :lol:

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you guys see this? My blue man has a whole thread devoted to him!!!!!!!!!!! Here's the link:

Open Original Shared Link

See, his teeth really ARE orange! Um, does he look, uh, healthy to you?

Mygawd, I can't stop eating the Christmas candies that are accumulating..........HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!

[jerseyangel]

I want to wish everyone here in Sillyville a wonderful Christmas if you celebrate it. If not, may the good will of the holiday season be yours.

And to you too, Peter Have a most Happy Holiday--and get some rest!

Whoa there Eagle-Eye!

Yep--ya gotta wake up pretty early in the morning to get anything past me

Glad you, Andrea, and the children had such a nice visit

No nasal vomitousness noted.

Well, at least that's something

[Ridgewalker]

And I may as well weigh in .. . .. nostril bile . . .. .been there.. . yuck!.

And once just from a sneeze while eating an omelet, a cheesy chunk of ham ended up coming out of my nose. <ouch AND ewwwwwww>

:lol: :lol:

OMG! Out loud guffaw! And the dog just gave me the strangest look.

*giggle*

I'm going to be laughing about that for days. I visualize things as I read........

[CarlaB]

oh my gaaaaaaaaawd.......I know......Alex's dad IS in my demographic for dating!!!!!

and I DO like older men..............he's probably, what, 48? and I"m 46? so he's still older......

Morgan is not too happy about turning 20 .... not a teenager anymore, but not old enough to order a drink .... I had to agree, but at this point I know there IS a purpose to the age of 20 .... to make your parents feel REALLY OLD!!!

Oh my gosh! And my 23rd anniversary is next week!

Where is that duct tape ... Susie, let me know if it works ...

Alex??? What's your mom like and is she single?

Is she goofy enough for Tom?

Did you guys see this? My blue man has a whole thread devoted to him!!!!!!!!!!! Here's the link:

He has a thread over on Lymenet, too. So, is this guy your neighbor?? He needs to get in a FIR sauna really bad! FIR saunas will chelate metals.

[jerseyangel]

I saw the blue guy on GMA yesterday. He is more of a grey-ish blue.

[~alex~]

Morgan is not too happy about turning 20 .... not a teenager anymore, but not old enough to order a drink .... I had to agree, but at this point I know there IS a purpose to the age of 20 .... to make your parents feel REALLY OLD!!!

Good thing about Canada . . . the drinking age is 19. 18 in Quebec! Many of my friends spent New Year's eve in Quebec City when they were 18 for that reason!

Is she goofy enough for Tom?

Unfortunately she died about 6 years ago . . . but she was quite a goof -- kept us laughing all the time!

Anyway . . . funny joke from my grandpa:

How putting an angel a top the Christmas tree became a tradition:

One Christmas, Santa was having a really bad day. The local elves union was up in arms over their contract and were threatening a walk-out. Mrs. Clause was pissed that Santa was never around to appreciate all of the hard work she had been doing around the house. Santa decided he needed to go home, sit in front of a fire and relax.

When he got there, Miss Clause was all up in his face and wouldn't let down. Then, there was a knock on the door. It was Rudolph. He said the reindeer were sick and tired of Santa not upgrading to the new lightweight sliegh and they were joining the elves walkout. Santa slammed the door and threatend "The next person who knocks on that door is gonna get it!"

At that time, there was a knock on the door. Santa flung the door open and there stood a tiny little angel. The angel had been searching for the perfect Christmas tree for Santa's house all day long, until it found the perfect one. The little angel asked, "Santa, I was wondering where you would like me to stick this tree?"

And that is the story of how the angel atop the tree tradition began.

[Jestgar]

Hi all

Have a great bat story (opening the window to shoo one out is a good way to let more in), would love to tell you about the presents my second ex got me for Christmas ("I want this" "OK, what else do you want?") and I have a plethora of cut cat stories (stop mom in front of the treats by hurling your 15 pound furry body at her knees), but I'm having the big "it's time for a raise" talk with my boss today and I've got a lot to do before that happens.

Cheers!

[dlp252]

Please forgive this intrusion of a serious lurker, but I DO have a bat story of my own.

A few years ago I went up to visit my sister who lives in the mountains near Yosemite. She dragged me out of bed one fine day and said "come on there's a bat in the overhang outside". So, she has this huge two story house...the bat can't be on a lower overhang...it's on the highest one. We tried throwing rocks, but decided that wasn't a very good idea...too many chances of breaking a window. No broom or other implement would reach that high, so we got out the water hose. At first all we did was drench ourselves but then, um, it worked really well, lol. Momentarily the bat had decided to dive bomb us, but then mid dive changed it's mind. That was enough to send us running. Doesn't sound as funny now, but it was hysterical at the time.

[elye]

And I may as well weigh in .. . .. nostril bile . . .. .been there.. . yuck!.

And once just from a sneeze while eating an omelet, a cheesy chunk of ham ended up coming out of my nose. <ouch AND ewwwwwww>

I got one better on you, Tom: Driving home from a restaurant many years ago, I glanced in the rear-view mirror at my daughter, at that time a toddler in her car seat. She had a cold at the time, and was fussing a lot. I noticed her nose was quite snotty, so I pulled onto a side street, got the industrial kleenex out of my pocket, and opened the back door.

Well, she was really fussing, and I was wondering if the noodles she had eaten were not agreeing with her. So, I'm wondering, wiping her nose, and I picked at some yucky mucous that wasn't coming out. It's a piece of food! So I grasp it...and pull...and an entire fettucinne noodle came out of her nostril.

So...no wonder she was somewhat fussy...

[Darn210]

News flash . . . this just in . . . We have a Great Horned Owl sitting in the neighbor's tree facing into our yard. I've heard him before but I've never seen him. Not sure what he's doing there this time of day. Probably behind in all of his Christmas preparations, too and having to burn the midnight mid-day oil.

I think stuff like that is just too cool!

We have also had a Great Blue Heron eating at our gold fish pond . . . thought it was his own personal buffet. Hated to do it, but had to chase him away.

[tom]

LOLs all over but no time to manually stack up the quotes. So, yes, YOUR story and/or comment cracked me up!!! :lol:

Alex, sorry to hear about your mom. That had to be tough.

I was a little reluctant to inquire, in fact.

Morgan is not too happy about turning 20 ....

To quote one prolific Canuck:

"You can't be 20 on Sugar Mountain,

though you're thinking that you're leaving there too soon."

So I grasp it...and pull...and an entire fettucinne noodle came out of her nostril.

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

So, this morning, I'm in the bathroom for round one and the 4yr old shows up right outside the door, proclaiming ~ every 10sec, "I'm waiting on YOU, Uncle Silly!" lol over and over .. .

(His older cousins made me an OH-phish-shull 'Silly' back around '94-'95 hehehehhe)

[nikki-uk]

Mygawd, I can't stop eating the Christmas candies that are accumulating..........HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!

Can't stop myself!!!....so can't help you!!!

Oh my gosh! And my 23rd anniversary is next week!

Well done you guys!!!

Good thing about Canada . . . the drinking age is 19. 18 in Quebec! Many of my friends spent New Year's eve in Quebec City when they were 18 for that reason!

It's 18 here in UK - but some clubs are over 21's only.

My 18 yr old son has started going to bars

Unfortunately she died about 6 years ago . . . but she was quite a goof -- kept us laughing all the time!

So sorry you lost your Mum Alex .

Anyway . . . funny joke from my grandpa:

Excellent!!!

and an entire fettucinne noodle came out of her nostril.

OMG!! -Green guy emoticon needed!!!! *gag* (and Tom's cheesy chunk sneeze)

...and WTH?? The Blue Man (with Orange teeth) ......WHAT????????????????

[happygirl]

Noodle coming out of nose=hysterical

On an unrelated nose note, Merry Christmas to you all!!!!!!!