The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[DingoGirl]

But like, ok, if there's a little curly hair on the seat (gack,) do you just leave it there and hover an inch over it??? Static cling could cause said hair to jump to your bum!

no, not bloody likely, as it is most certainly stuck on there with DRIED URINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...also, I am SO exited that I now know when someone is posting now....keep hitting refresh (are they done yet??? )....I am such a loser!!!!!

we're all in this together :lol:

[nikki-uk]

But like, ok, if there's a little curly hair on the seat (gack,) do you just leave it there and hover an inch over it??? Static cling could cause said hair to jump to your bum!

I take a generous wad of toilet paper and swipe that baby into the toilet. Any stray droplets are similarly taken care of. If I have had to do these things, though, I have to admit I will probably hover over that particular seat.

Personally:

HUGE WAD (lest anything toiletty touch ME )

WIPE

HOVER (clutching purse)

SWEATER OVER HAND ACTION TO OPEN DOOR

...repeat wad for taps faucets and exit DOOR

GET HOME, SHOWER, CHANGE CLOTHES

Alternatively (IN MY CASE) only have 1 cup of tea in the morning (alot less stressful)

[nikki-uk]

no, not bloody likely, as it is most certainly stuck on there with DRIED URINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DEAR GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!................not..... ........APRICOT JAM!!!!!!!! (Pseudonym in my house for (h)anus dried wee)

[DingoGirl]

Personally:

HUGE WAD (lest anything toiletty touch ME )

WIPE

HOVER (clutching purse)

SWEATER OVER HAND ACTION TO OPEN DOOR

LADIES!!!!!!!!!!!! your clothing should NOT be used to touch ANYTHING in that Stall of Wee!!!!!!!!!!!! no sleeves or sweaters, for God's sake!!!!!!!!!!!! This common practice can lead to the transportation of unsavory items into one's car, and then home.......gads!!!!!!!!!!!

DEAR GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!................not..... ........APRICOT JAM!!!!!!!! (Pseudonym in my house for (h)anus dried wee)

NICOLA!!!!!!!!!!!! Tell those savages to STOP eating their toast whilst standing around the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[blueeyedmanda]

you guys went nuts when I went to lunch.

[Ridgewalker]

no, not bloody likely, as it is most certainly stuck on there with DRIED URINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{Green Barfy Guy}

Ok, I could handle a sprinkle... I could handle a hair...

But the image of the hair stuck in the dried URINE (not "wee" or "tinkle" but "URINE") made me shudder. :lol:

When are we gonna get that green guy? Do we need an organized petition?

[NoGluGirl]

Dear Amanda,

I had Mr. Molar extracted last week. He did not want to go! The oral surgeon used a bunch of different forceps to grab the tooth. They had to break him in pieces, and take him out that way. My jaw still hurts, which means I need another course of Amoxy.

However, I have to wait until after Saturday. I am getting my hair done, and cannot have the colon irritation at that time from the antibiotics! Can you say scat bomb? None of that. I deserve to at least get my hair done, you know? I am scared, but also excited.

Dear Susie,

I often write poems for friends and family when they marry or when they lose someone. I decided to do a tribute to our beloved Tika. Using Shakespeare's prose is my favorite. Hopefully, I did it well. We will see!

To Tika

Tika with thy soul so pure

Much you did endure

A spirit full of light

Eyes always shining bright

Joyous memories do you bring

To every other living thing

Now beyond this galaxy

You frolick in the Heavens above me

Although your physical body is no more

I know you are with us as much as before

Thy soul lives on in another place

Away from all time and space

Sincerely,

Jin

[Ridgewalker]

GET HOME, SHOWER, CHANGE CLOTHES

I hear that! That's kinda what I want to do anytime I take a trip into the city. But that may be my own bias.

[DingoGirl]

you guys went nuts when I went to lunch.

Yes. Did you touch any public toilets whilst you were gone?

{Green Barfy Guy}

Ok, I could handle a sprinkle... I could handle a hair...

But the image of the hair stuck in the dried URINE (not "wee" or "tinkle" but "URINE") made me shudder. :lol:

really brings it home, don't it?????????

We DO need an organized petition. We need SO many more emoticons....this simply will not do, our limited little yellow heads.....we have SO much more to express. WHEN WILL WE BE HEARD????????????????????????

To Tika

Tika with thy soul so pure

Much you did endure

A spirit full of light

Eyes always shining bright

Joyous memories do you bring

To every other living thing

Now beyond this galaxy

You frolick in the Heavens above me

Although your physical body is no more

I know you are with us as much as before

Thy soul lives on in another place

Away from all time and space

:wub:

Thank you, sweet Jin. How adorable. Stinker is smiling from above - that is, if she has time, in between all her romping up there.........

[nikki-uk]

I hear that! That's kinda what I want to do anytime I take a trip into the city. But that may be my own bias.

Public transport......OMG! ...CITIES!!!!....if ever I go to into London on the tube - clothes feel icky - air is icky - I SWEAR WHEN i BLOW MY NOSE IT is black AFTER ............. ........Too much info???

What a bunch of weirdos we are

[Ridgewalker]

Jin,

How beautiful!

I'm sorry your jaw is still hurting, but thank goodness that tooth is finally out!!! You totally deserve to get your hair done- can't wait to see a pic.

[elye]

That's chunder talk.

....and that's highly quotable! Chunder talk....

Lulling us into a false sense of security with his 'c.com moderator' title and his cute cat pics....all the while corrupting us

Indeed. We must stay alert...Still waters run deep....

'Twas at the dentist today and whilst he was merrily drilling...I was thinking (as I gripped the arms of the chair in a slightly sweaty vice like grip) ''I wonder if they wipe the arms of the chair between patients''

Mygawd...yes, as this setting could involve blood droplets, as well...HANUS, scary and possibly dangerous, as well...

Hey!!! I'm doing laundry!!!

(and quit peekin'!! )

Love it. Hubbahubba Tom. And you're NOT doing laundry, Tom! The act of cleaning clothes creates this name form: TOM . Large, clean blue, and in the font of Lucinda Console...whoever she is. She sounds very much like a cleaning lady...

Excellent, Emily. HOwever, two errors noted: 1, the spelling - in this case 'tis always (h)anus.....and 2, you omitted the very important information about where a woman must put her purse, because as we know, it is NEVER to touch the floor of the stall. (must find a hook, or cradle it in one's arms WHILST hovering, or hang it around one's neck......)

The purse thing can be problematic, true. I put mine on my head, a fine time to practice balance. Quite something, I am sure, to see....

But like, ok, if there's a little curly hair on the seat (gack,) do you just leave it there and hover an inch over it??? Static cling could cause said hair to jump to your bum!

Gaaaaahhhh...

One should never hover over anything this hanus, in case of improper form and subsequent touch-down. Must wipe with HUGE paper towel wad...

I take a generous wad of toilet paper and swipe that baby into the toilet. Any stray droplets are similarly taken care of. If I have had to do these things, though, I have to admit I will probably hover over that particular seat.

Probably?!....Probably??!

[DingoGirl]

What a bunch of weirdos we are

Weirdos? who - us?

NAHhhhhhhhhhhh........we're just discussing what everybody - well, at least those of us w/ a modicum of civility - thinks about.......... :lol:

[Ridgewalker]

The purse thing can be problematic, true. I put mine on my head, a fine time to practice balance. Quite something, I am sure, to see....

Purse on the head snuck up on me-- Out loud guffaw! :lol:

I often hang mine around my neck. I am totally in agreement that the purse must not touch the floor! A few times, I tried to make one of my kids hold it, but I can't trust them not to let it touch the floor. They act like it weighs a ton or something, I don't get it.

Probably?!....Probably??!

Ok, thinking back, I'd say it's a virtual certainty in that case.

Still, I'm sticking to my guns- if the seat is dry and debris-free... I sit my heinie down!

[elye]

Public transport......OMG! ...CITIES!!!!....if ever I go to into London on the tube - clothes feel icky - air is icky - I SWEAR WHEN i BLOW MY NOSE IT is black AFTER ............. ........Too much info???

I was warned by a number of people before we came across the pond that we would all be blowing black stuff out of our noses after the London subway, but no blackness appeared. By the end of our trip I was hopin' for some North American PB to be appearing, even this way, so desparate was I for some decent stuff...

[jerseyangel]

Jin,

That was a beautiful poem you wrote for Tika.

[jerseyangel]

What a bunch of weirdos we are

I gotta agree there

[jerseyangel]

The purse thing can be problematic, true. I put mine on my head, a fine time to practice balance. Quite something, I am sure, to see....

You balance your purse on your head?????? Whilst peeing??????

Wow

[Darn210]

You balance your purse on your head?????? Whilst peeing??????

Wow

Whilst Peeing and Hovering!

[Darn210]

The purse thing can be problematic, true. I put mine on my head, a fine time to practice balance. Quite something, I am sure, to see....

If no hook or little shelf thing, then around my neck. Thank goodness I don't carry a clutch . . . would have to clench it in my teeth.

tom (HubbaHubba) . . . wish I could have seen that when you were posting!!

[blueeyedmanda]

You guys, if we had our own TV show we could rake in some serious money We would so cheer people up

[Jestgar]

Thank you, sweet Jin. How adorable. Stinker is smiling from above - that is, if she has time, in between all her romping up there.........

Are you kidding???? Now that she can finally read she's curled up with a squirrel martini (following Peter's lead) going through all 500-some-odd pages. Surely, if you listen, you can hear her yelling "MOM!!!!" Whenever you've said something embarrassing about her.

[elye]

You guys, if we had our own TV show we could rake in some serious money We would so cheer people up

...Or drive them into madness......

Are you kidding???? Now that she can finally read she's curled up with a squirrel martini (following Peter's lead) going through all 500-some-odd pages. Surely, if you listen, you can hear her yelling "MOM!!!!" Whenever you've said something embarrassing about her.

You're SO right, Jess. I can hear Stinker's exasperated, "Maaaaawwwwmmm!"'s clear as a bell...

[elye]

Whilst Peeing and Hovering!

...As I said, it must be somethin' to see....

[nikki-uk]

They act like it weighs a ton or something, I don't get it.

Me neither Sarah

Hubby reckons I keep bricks in mine