The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[jerseyangel]

Or if you're Gus . . . hit substandard.

Good one

[NoGluGirl]

Dear Susie, Sarah, and Patti,

I am glad you liked the poem! It was my pleasure. I hope it was a fitting tribute to our little Stinker!

Susie, remember that dogs see spirits. So, if Annie starts hopping around or something, you must understand that she can see Tika when she visits. They often do!

Dear Patti,

I love your new pic! Is that in your new kitchen? It sure is pretty! You look great in the avatar! Your hair looks terrific!

Dear Sarah,

The jaw pain is a bummer. I know the abx will have to happen. I am concerned about the other tooth that is next to the extraction site. It looks brown halfway up. I have a terrible feeling it needs extracted as well.

In the meantime, dealing with the infection worries me. Until after I get my hair done, I cannot take any Amoxy, because it is hard on my system. I am definitely going to put up a new avatar as soon as I get it done! This will be right after, because I do not know if I will be able to style it the way the salon does! The cool part is, the style is very versatile. You can have a wavy, streaky look, a straight and sleek look, or a voluminous but casual look.

Dear Susie,

After Jasmine died, I was very sad like any pet owner would be. The same with Tasha Bear. Our Schnauzers were our babies, as is our Dart now. One morning about 2 or 3 am, I was up late studying. I saw Jasmine's shadow go across the wall. My mother said she saw her a time or two also!

Tasha went over to the sofa one afternoon and was very insistant, pushing the sofa. I could not figure out what had gotten into her. Then, once I looked, she stared at me and over across the room as if she saw something. The next thing I know, she is hopping and playing! It did not occur to me until later it was probably Jasmine.

Jasmine saw the guinea pig after she died. I remember her running over there like she always did, and I believe Sheba bit her. She jumped up very quickly. I asked her if Sheba bit her, and she wiggled her tail! It was funny, but I think she realized not to mess with the dead pig. We also heard her squeal, and still do from time to time. Digger, our rabbit pops in and makes noise. I still miss petting and holding them all, though!

I know how crazy all of this sounds, but it is true. I suppose you have to be open to it. A lot of people are not. Of course, I used to watch the Pet Psychic religiously. That lady is on a radio show now.

Dear Everyone,

Okay, now for something silly. First, I will discuss public toilets. I hate them, and use them only when I absolutely have no choice. I must sit, I cannot squat. For the time being, I am working on levitation.

Now for purses. Mine has everything but the kitchen sink in it. I was a Girl Scout. We were taught to always be prepared. That is why I have pretty much the whole house in there!

Dear Bev,

I love your ideas for readable undies! I am trying to think of a few. So far, I have only a couple of ideas. Here is a thought: If you want to sell them, do not make them in G-string or thong varieties. This is especially important for near-sighted people.

Sincerely,

Jin

[tom]

. . . .. .. . .. .delusional errancy. .. . ..

<susie said ^^^that^^>

Hey! Anybody within comfortable driving distance to Glens Falls? (NY)...If you are, you must head to the...um...forget the name of the arena...this weekend to check out my sensational DD between the pipes at a big Atom Girl's Eastern Hockey Tournament. DH is escorting her to this one, but man, I'm just thinking that I should have checked to see if any of you northerly guys are close enough to head up there...we could have rendezvous-ed!

I wanna see your <big breath> "sensationalDDbetweenthepipesatabigAtomGirl'sEasternHockeyTournament."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tom....{head slowly shaking, small smile forming}...we chicks are not grrrrrross..... . .. ... ..

. . . If we have the proper hover execution and form, it should be irrelevant.

Uhhhhhhhh-huhhhhhhhh

It's that If & Should that complicate matters.

Soon it will be Psewer....

Gah!

That was a great game. I think that huge defensive lineman that keep trampling over everyone in his path looked...familiar. And he kept doing this funny, yet effectively distracting, move...he would suddenly... hunch down and scoot along the turf....hmmmm.....

I thought it was just another big guy failing at an attempted nimble celebratory dance - once it seemed hey turf-teabagged the opponents midfield logo!!!!

You know Patti and Tom, I think the funniest veggie in the produce section is the squash like one which is angled a certain way....There's my mind in the gutter thought for the day.

How'd I get yanked into this? You must mean psewer

Now . . ... .about that certain angle . ... ..

we're talkin crookneck?

Loose vowels & IVS !!!

Sarah Great av! Yay 7!!

Is that a guitar amp in the back right or just a heater?

Dear Susie,

I often write poems for friends and family when they marry or when they lose someone. I decided to do a tribute to our beloved Tika. Using Shakespeare's prose is my favorite. Hopefully, I did it well. We will see!

VERY well done

Buncha busy beavers today (Hey where IS Beaverly? ) (and Carla?)

[Darn210]

My mother never really told me anything.....she would have my aunt (her sister) who I was very close to do it. The rest I learned from the older kids in the neighborhood--on the streets, as it were.

Patti, I didn't take you for a girl from da hood!!

I love your ideas for readable undies! I am trying to think of a few. So far, I have only a couple of ideas. Here is a thought: If you want to sell them, do not make them in G-string or thong varieties. This is especially important for near-sighted people.

Fontsize = 1 . . . Small writing, indeed!!!!

[jerseyangel]

Hi Jin--

Thanks! It was taken in the kitchen a couple of weeks ago.

True story....about 8 years ago, around a month after we moved into our previous house, Allo got out. He is and always was strictly an indoor cat.

We went nuts trying to find him, doing everything we could think of--you name it. Anyway, my sister (who lives in central NY) knew a woman who was an animal psychic--she called her and told her about what had happened and the woman said that Allo was lost and couldn't find his way home. She said he was alive and wanted to come home, but couldn't.

She also mentioned a fence and a grey wall. My sister had not seen the house yet, but we had a fenced bckyard and the house was a taupe grey

So, 8 days go by, and we are now at the point of trying to come to grips with the fact he is probably never coming back and are simply hoping he is not lying somewhere hurt. It was winter, and we'd had snow and rain.

We are out one evening, and get a call from Matt--the cat is home! A couple brought him to the front door, wrapped in a scarf. Matt asked their names, knowing we would want to thank them personally. They said they'd be back.

We never found out who they were--we lived in that neighborhood for the next 7 1/2 years.....I think they were angels

[DingoGirl]

Is it one of those times where you have to hit the "standard" button?

Gawd, I'm one to talk...I never know what in Hell is going on...

she said "what in hell" - - this is funnier than the standard (or substandard) "what in THE hell...." I don't know why, though, it just is

Susie--

Go to the top right hand corner of the page, hit "options" and make sure you are on "standard".

OMG - it worked - I knew our Patti could save me....... I was SO SCARED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or if you're Gus . . . hit substandard.

gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Gus looks just......quizzically MARVELOUS in his new photo......

I love your ideas for readable undies! I am trying to think of a few. So far, I have only a couple of ideas. Here is a thought: If you want to sell them, do not make them in G-string or thong varieties. This is especially important for near-sighted people.

*snort* v. funny, Jin.......and we will be on the lookout for a Stinker visitation, I would welcome it. Annie is not exhibiting the behavior of having seen a specTRE, far from it......just listless, sad, quiet, and depressed.

"sensationalDDbetweenthepipesatabigAtomGirl'sEasternHockeyTournament."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, now what DOES "between the pipes" mean? Is this a hockey term? canuck term? WTH? we don't say it here.........

MYgawd, hockey players are HOT. I WANT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Susie is starting to get a little......spring fever or sumfin, early on........gads.......'twill be a long season.

[jerseyangel]

Patti, I didn't take you for a girl from da hood!!

Does this mean I have street cred?

[DingoGirl]

We never found out who they were--we lived in that neighborhood for the next 7 1/2 years.....I think they were angels

I think they were......what a wonderful story. My Cookster kitty lived in the same house all her life......I moved her when she was about 12 to a guest house in which I was living (can I just say it - I WAS LIVING IN ) about two miles away. AFter a few days, I let her outside, and she was gone....... My heart broke beyond what is humanly imaginable and I searched for her all through the 'hood for days and days, put out about 500 flyers.......nothing. I would collapse in the street, sobbing....yelling out her name.......day and night, night and day.

More than two weeks later, my mom called me.......and guess who had shown up????? My beauty......ragged and thin and hungry.......found her way home. Happiest day of my life, or top 10, at least.........

Does this mean I have street cred?

*snort*

oh yeah, baby

[jerseyangel]

:More than two weeks later, my mom called me.......and guess who had shown up????? My beauty......ragged and thin and hungry.......found her way home. Happiest day of my life, or top 10, at least.........

I love stories like that

[elye]

I am glad you liked the poem! It was my pleasure.

Your poem was wonderful, Jin...

Susie, remember that dogs see spirits. So, if Annie starts hopping around or something, you must understand that she can see Tika when she visits. They often do!

Whoa...perhaps this is what is behind Gus's intense staring-for-no-reason at me. Could I have wee sprites flitting around my head? He could be seeing somefin'.....

I wanna see your <big breath> "sensationalDDbetweenthepipesatabigAtomGirl'sEasternHockeyTournament."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What happened to that new member, TomHubbaHubba?

[jerseyangel]

What happened to that new member, TomHubbaHubba?

I was wondering the same thing--are we all going nuts???

Emily--I love Gus's new picture

[DingoGirl]

Whoa...perhaps this is what is behind Gus's intense staring-for-no-reason at me. Could I have wee sprites flitting around my head? He could be seeing somefin'.....

wee sprites :lol:

dear gawd, are they PEEING on you???????????

I was wondering the same thing--are we all going nuts???

GOING nuts???????????????????? :lol:

I think that started about..........350 pages ago............ *snicker*

[elye]

she said "what in hell" - - this is funnier than the standard (or substandard) "what in THE hell...." I don't know why, though, it just is.

It's true! I don't know why in Hell it is, either!

Gus looks just......quizzically MARVELOUS in his new photo......

Yes, he was looking quizzical...like he was seeing spirits, perhaps?

Hey, now what DOES "between the pipes" mean? Is this a hockey term? canuck term? WTH? we don't say it here.........

Yes you do! It means, "between the posts of a hockey net", i.e., where the goalie reigns....

Does this mean I have street cred?

OMG...the 'hood, street cred...Things are beginning to sound like the locker room chatter of my DD's hockey team...

[DingoGirl]

Yes you do! It means, "between the posts of a hockey net", i.e., where the goalie reigns....

no, we don't........um, does Fresno HAVE a hockey team? oh wait.....I think we do.... No one pays attention to it because of those Devil Bulldogs - who get all the attention.

<bears repeating - we DID give them the worst losing season in 77 years with our evil hexing!!!!!!!>

I don't know what to do with myslef these days..........lots of time chatting here........lots of time doing nothing productive........Annie, too..........is this normal? are we going to be okay??????

things just don't feel.......right any more. Will this go away, quite soon?

[DingoGirl]

p.s.

but you know sumfin? Gus's substandard poodle smile and head-tilt makes us LAUGH...............

[Darn210]

I don't know what to do with myslef these days..........lots of time chatting here........lots of time doing nothing productive........Annie, too..........is this normal?

Well, it is for me.

things just don't feel.......right any more. Will this go away, quite soon?

Aww Susie . . . {{More Hugs}} . . . Yes, it will go away . . . but probably not soon.

[tom]

Susie has a Jeep?

. . . About 6 months later, one of them was pregnant. Who's laughin' now, missy???!!!!

"Between the pipes" isn't said in Fresno? Or just not in Stepford . .. .. ..methinks just not in Susie's abode.

It's hockey-speak for the goalie. The net is draped on some facsimile of ersatz pipes.

Nice pet-found-way-home stories, you two.

Purse chatter .. . .how do I possibly get by w/ just pockets!!??????????????

[DingoGirl]

Aww Susie . . . {{More Hugs}} . . . Yes, it will go away . . . but probably not soon.

Thanks, Crazy J. <dunno why I just thought of that but it's yer new Rap name...... >

guess it WILL be a while.....we lost our strong, beautiful, Alpha girl........

Susie has a Jeep?

a formerly VERY stanky jeep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Susie wants a NEW jeep!!!!!!!!!!!!! but the kidn I want - too expensive.

Tom, the pockets, I don't know what to tell ya. Can you fit tampons in there? because until you can do that, you're just not.......adequate.

[Ridgewalker]

Sarah Great av! Yay 7!!

Is that a guitar amp in the back right or just a heater?

Thanks! I still can't believe my baby's 7. Yes, indeed, that is an amp in the background! The male members of my household are quite musical. The big Fender logo is covered up by someone's coat. That one is Brian's (hubby.) Santa brought Lucas a smaller version, nearly identical to Daddy's. Luke also has one of those little kids' Strats.

I can't keep up with what kind of guitars Brian has, but his favorite is an old Ibanez.

Ezra has the most kick-ass set of child-sized drums! And he has a great sense of rhythm.

My parents also are musical- both are songwriters, and they had a rock band for a long time. Got a little local radio play in Rochester when I was a kid.

I have a good ear, but no discipline to actually learn an instrument. I did (briefly) play sax in junior high band, tho.

MYgawd, hockey players are HOT. I WANT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Susie is starting to get a little......spring fever or sumfin, early on........gads.......'twill be a long season.

One evening last year, I was waiting at the local McDonald's (right off the highway) drive-thru, and a big bus rolled in. It pulled over and all these fine young males start pouring out. It was one of the Wake Forest teams. Wake is just about 45 minutes south of us. I don't know WHAT kind of team they were (Rugby? Lacrosse?) but Susie, I thought I was gonna have a freaking heart attack. EVERY single one of them was hot. The only time I've ever wished that my phone was a camera phone. *sigh*

Everyone,

Well I was brushing Ezra's teeth this evening, and discovered a raging case of thrush out of NOWHERE. And back to the doctor we go..........

[tom]

I don't know what to do with myslef these days..........lots of time chatting here........lots of time doing nothing productive........Annie, too..........is this normal? are we going to be okay??????

things just don't feel.......right any more. Will this go away, quite soon?

Aw Susie .. . . .. . .

Maybe gettin' that Jeep over to a cabin IS a capital ideer.

Wish I had some fantastically poignant remarks for this.

We all know it takes time. Things will feel right again, I promise.

[jerseyangel]

Susie, It will get better--I promise

It's just going to take some time. I know it's the same thing everyone else is saying--but it's true.

[tom]

Yes, indeed, that is an amp in the background! The male members of my household are quite musical. The big Fender logo is covered up by someone's coat. That one is Brian's (hubby.) Santa brought Lucas a smaller version, nearly identical to Daddy's. Luke also has one of those little kids' Strats.

I can't keep up with what kind of guitars Brian has, but his favorite is an old Ibanez.

Ezra has the most kick-ass set of child-sized drums! And he has a great sense of rhythm.

My parents also are musical- both are songwriters, and they had a rock band for a long time. Got a little local radio play in Rochester when I was a kid.

I have a good ear, but no discipline to actually learn an instrument. I did (briefly) play sax in junior high band, tho.

Ack! So much here!!!!

Big amps, little amps, little drums . . .. It's a rock'n'roll paradise!!!!!

Rochester Radio! Jr High SAX!!???

Alto I presume?

Grrrrrr I really need to woodshed some sax (I put the over/under at 2 on understanding THAT)

[Ridgewalker]

Ack! So much here!!!!

Big amps, little amps, little drums . . .. It's a rock'n'roll paradise!!!!!

Rochester Radio! Jr High SAX!!???

Alto I presume?

Grrrrrr I really need to woodshed some sax (I put the over/under at 2 on understanding THAT)

Yeah, I got done writing that, and was like, "Hmmm, that's a bit more than he asked for." Yup, alto. I haven't picked it up in a jillion years. I do have a vague idea of what woodshedding is, though!

[Mtndog]

No more talk of little hairs on toilet seats- I can stand wee but not the PUBES! I hate that word so much that in college, my friend Kristin who had a head of very curly dark hair sent me an envelope of it with the word "PUBES!!!!!!!!!!!!" written on the card. gack, gag, blech!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, a hug for Annie and Susie :wub: :wub:

OK....you guys have to check out

and

[Ridgewalker]

No more talk of little hairs on toilet seats- I can stand wee but not the PUBES!

:lol: GAH!!!!!!!!!!!! Bev, I cannot believe you said PUBES!!!!!!!!! :lol: That word simultaneously makes me crack up, and want to hurl!

And THEN! And THEN I go check out the Nekkid Breakfast and Lunch, and all I can think of is PUBES in the eggs!