The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[tom]

Hmm, at first I thought that Tom referencing a Men's Health article was a little payback for all the tampon and purse conversations, but then I realized......... that's a VERY Cosmo kind of article.

Tom... are you SURE that's was from Men's Health???????

As far as I can tell, it's a Cosmo kind of magazine. Or at a minimum, somewhat metrosexual?

[Darn210]

Emily - The Comeback Queen. I sure he would have been left speechless.

Susie - Mike sounds like the nice one. Is he married?

[elye]

As far as I can tell, it's a Cosmo kind of magazine. Or at a minimum, somewhat metrosexual?

Yep, from the times I've glanced through one, I'd say mighty metro. I judge these things by considering whether or not my DH would be caught dead with one on his bedside table. Men's Health, never. Golfer's Digest, Runner's World, The Economist, absolutely. Very heterosexual. Pragmatic. Middle-aged. Sigh.........

[DingoGirl]

Emily - The Comeback Queen. I sure he would have been left speechless.

Susie - Mike sounds like the nice one. Is he married?

Yes, Mike IS married....and not quite my type......he interviewed me for the sign-painting position about a year ago, so we've been chummy ever since. I would have done the sign painting job, BTW, but found out that I would ALSO have to be cashier much of the time. Can you imagine?

"oh, hi Robert, is this your new wife?"

"Hi, Reese, yes, sometimes I still dream about you, too...."

"oh.....Hans.....wait here while I find someone to check your groceries and then I run in the back and.....throw up just a little bit......"

appalling.......plus it would kill my back. PLUS I would have had to be there at 5 a.m. much of the time.

anywho, WTH am I talking about??????????????????????? I'm just babbling on.....

[Darn210]

Yes, Mike IS married....and not quite my type......

You mean because he's nice???

PLUS I would have had to be there at 5 a.m. much of the time.

Appalling!!!!

They can make people do that??!!??

They can paint their own damn signs!!

[DingoGirl]

They can paint their own damn signs!!

exactly.

[Erica94]

quick!! emily i need u to draw me a detailed flowchart on how to save a potentially dying beta fish!!! please!!!!! :( i don't know what to do!! we haven't really been giving them nearly enough attention but now i think it might be too late to really do anything... we already lost one about a month ago not quite the same though... we got that one and another one from my mom's friend, so we don't know how old he was please somebody help!!!

[elye]

quick!! emily i need u to draw me a detailed flowchart on how to save a potentially dying beta fish!!! please!!!!! i don't know what to do!! we haven't really been giving them nearly enough attention but now i think it might be too late to really do anything... we already lost one about a month ago not quite the same though... we got that one and another one from my mom's friend, so we don't know how old he was please somebody help!!!

OMG...

Please tell me you are not putting two betas together in the same bowl/aquarium...they cannot cohabitate...must be loners. They attack and sicken one another mercilessly. How interesting...I know NOTHING about fish, of any kind, but this, for some reason, I do know. You've asked the one thing about aquatic life that I know about. Now, a flow chart...hmmmm...

[Erica94]

OMG...

Please tell me you are not putting two betas together in the same bowl/aquarium...they cannot cohabitate...must be loners. They attack and sicken one another mercilessly. How interesting...I know NOTHING about fish, of any kind, but this, for some reason, I do know. You've asked the one thing about aquatic life that I know about. Now, a flow chart...hmmmm...

well i know that... they're all in separate bowls, but the bowls are next to each other so they can "talk" if they want

yes!! start working on the flow chart please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! input from anyone with actual fish experience would be helpful

[elye]

Okay, Erica...I'm on this.

You need to be more specific. What are the symptoms?

Struggles to Swim?

Distracted/Disinterested?

Eats Little or Nothing?

Faded Color/Grayish?

Fins Stringy/Clumped?

Bloated/Underweight?

The causes could be anything from Fin and Tail Rot to Slime Disease to Columnaris. Once you've established the symptoms more specifically, google them with "Beta Fish". You'll find possible causes, and treatment options. You could start with Internal/External Parasites, Gill Disease, Dropsy, Septicemia...

Okay....riffling through my flowchart supplies, now. Give me an hour...

[Erica94]

Okay, Erica...I'm on this.

You need to be more specific. What are the symptoms?

Struggles to Swim?

Distracted/Disinterested?

Eats Little or Nothing?

Faded Color/Grayish?

Fins Stringy/Clumped?

Bloated/Underweight?

The causes could be anything from Fin and Tail Rot to Slime Disease to Columnaris. Once you've established the symptoms more specifically, google them with "Beta Fish". You'll find possible causes, and treatment options. You could start with Internal/External Parasites, Gill Disease, Dropsy, Septicemia...

Okay....riffling through my flowchart supplies, now. Give me an hour...

wow... ur good at this thanks a lot!! ... let's see, symptoms:

Struggles to Swim -- well, kind of... she's been leaning to one side and sorta hanging around the side of her bowl... but she's always stayed on the side so i'm not sure that part of it's a symptom

Distracted/Disinterested

Eats Little or Nothing

and

Faded Color

my poor baby... any ideas off the top of ur head? i'll google it soon, but i can't now bcuz my dad is bugging me to study for this spanish quiz tomorrow... if we have school so i'll be checking back to read but i might not have time to post

[elye]

Hmmmmm.....How about this?

He needs to be warmed up. It is very common in the winter for bettas to start having problems like this. They get sluggish and develop fungus and digestive problems. Put his tank in a warmer spot or put a light or heating pad close to him to raise it up. It has to be 78 degrees all the time while he is well, but if he's got fungus, to be healed he needs it up to 80 degrees. Fish fungus hates heat. Be careful with heating pads and lights next to water.

If we could only get Peter's attention, he would definitely know something about this. Not only does he know the answer to ALL questions, he owns a pet store and would therefore have advice, I am certain. Google "Bettamax" or "Broad Spectrum Tonic"...I'm sure Peter sells these fighting-fish medicines, but you can read about them and maybe try the product. I think I would.

Bah...I'm flow-charted out....

[Darn210]

Hmmmmm.....How about this?

He needs to be warmed up. It is very common in the winter for bettas to start having problems like this. They get sluggish and develop fungus and digestive problems. Put his tank in a warmer spot or put a light or heating pad close to him to raise it up. It has to be 78 degrees all the time while he is well, but if he's got fungus, to be healed he needs it up to 80 degrees. Fish fungus hates heat. Be careful with heating pads and lights next to water.

If we could only get Peter's attention, he would definitely know something about this. Not only does he know the answer to ALL questions, he owns a pet store and would therefore have advice, I am certain. Google "Bettamax" or "Broad Spectrum Tonic"...I'm sure Peter sells these fighting-fish medicines, but you can read about them and maybe try the product. I think I would.

Bah...I'm flow-charted out....

Emily, your last post looked like it should be run in a "Pet Medicine" Newspaper Column. Your av of Gus would be the photo that ran with it. People write in with their questions . . .

Dear Gus,

My pet yeti keeps scootin' across the carpet, driveway, deck . . . anything really, whilst sitting on his bottom. What's going on? Can you help?

Signed, Yeti Lover in British Columbia

[blueeyedmanda]

Emily, your last post looked like it should be run in a "Pet Medicine" Newspaper Column. Your av of Gus would be the photo that ran with it. People write in with their questions . . .

Dear Gus,

My pet yeti keeps scootin' across the carpet, driveway, deck . . . anything really, whilst sitting on his bottom. What's going on? Can you help?

Signed, Yeti Lover in British Columbia

LOL

I suggest getting the Yeti some TP and teaching some potty manners....he maybe wiping his Yeti Bum on your carpet making Yeti Skid Marks!

[elye]

Signed, Yeti Lover in British Columbia

[Mtndog]

Waaa!!!!!! Lost VERY long post!

Emily- saw a (sub) standard poodle today and BURST out laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!

[psawyer]

quick!! emily i need u to draw me a detailed flowchart on how to save a potentially dying beta fish!!! please!!!!! i don't know what to do!! we haven't really been giving them nearly enough attention but now i think it might be too late to really do anything... we already lost one about a month ago not quite the same though... we got that one and another one from my mom's friend, so we don't know how old he was please somebody help!!!

Please continue reading after the next quote.

Hmmmmm.....How about this?

He needs to be warmed up. It is very common in the winter for bettas to start having problems like this. They get sluggish and develop fungus and digestive problems. Put his tank in a warmer spot or put a light or heating pad close to him to raise it up. It has to be 78 degrees all the time while he is well, but if he's got fungus, to be healed he needs it up to 80 degrees. Fish fungus hates heat. Be careful with heating pads and lights next to water.

If we could only get Peter's attention, he would definitely know something about this. Not only does he know the answer to ALL questions, he owns a pet store and would therefore have advice, I am certain. Google "Bettamax" or "Broad Spectrum Tonic"...I'm sure Peter sells these fighting-fish medicines, but you can read about them and maybe try the product. I think I would.

Bah...I'm flow-charted out....

The male does best by himself. Another male will antagonize him; hence the sobriquet "fighting fish."

The most common cause of disease and death in this fish is overfeeding. We feed ours five to six tiny pellets on odd-numbered days.

Keeping the water between 78 an 80F is also good advice.

There is a medicine called "BettaFix Remedy" which you add to the water. It is available in most pet shops with a fish department. It may help.

Keep males out of sight ot each other. Make sure that the water is at least 78F and not more that 82F. As noted, fish under stress may need water that is a couple of degrees warmer.

[DingoGirl]

[

yes!! start working on the flow chart please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! input from anyone with actual fish experience would be helpful

:lol: actual fish experience

ummm.....does eating it frequently count? :lol:

Dear Gus,

My pet yeti keeps scootin' across the carpet, driveway, deck . . . anything really, whilst sitting on his bottom. What's going on? Can you help?

Signed, Yeti Lover in British Columbia

*snort* :lol:

Susie finds this very amusing..........and.................

I suggest getting the Yeti some TP and teaching some potty manners....he maybe wiping his Yeti Bum on your carpet making Yeti Skid Marks!

.....we have our latest band name, folks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tonight featuring

The Yeti Skid Marks

w/ intro bands

the Chicken Butt Cooties

and

The Badass Snow Poodles (featuring Gus)

:lol:

mygawd, what is all this FISH talk? How does Emily know??

p.s. Peter said "sobriquet" - - Susie is pleased :lol:

[CarlaB]

When Morgan was home for break, we were Christmas shopping in Target. All of a sudden, she burst into tears! She had left her Betta at school!!! She was home for three weeks, and HE LIVED! He had lost most of his color and had gotten thin, but he survived no food.

I'm not caught up .... I've been busy .... I just happened in on this page.

[Ridgewalker]

When Morgan was home for break, we were Christmas shopping in Target. All of a sudden, she burst into tears! She had left her Betta at school!!! She was home for three weeks, and HE LIVED! He had lost most of his color and had gotten thin, but he survived no food.

I'm not caught up .... I've been busy .... I just happened in on this page.

Does anyone here read Harry Potter??? Instead of The Boy Who Lived, he is The Fish Who Lived!!!

Only funny if you read Harry Potter. I am a big Harry Potter dork. I even went to a midnight release party at Barnes & Noble for the last book, and I dressed up.

Other pop culture "mainstream" faves...

Sex and the City (I have most seasons on DVD and watch them endlessly)

X-Men movies

Sarah MacLachlan (In my house, she is The Goddess)

House, 24, and Heroes

Evanescence

Old Navy clothing

I've had a wee bit of cheap wine tonight. It's Susie's fault.

[blueeyedmanda]

We also have all the Sex and the City DVD's and watch the all the time, I think that show ended way too soon. We also love Friends and we laugh endlessly at it. No matter what we find new things to laugh at.

BTW Morning Silllies!!!! It's Friday!!!!!!!!!

[elye]

Well, it's a' snowin' here this morning!....Lovely...

Please continue reading after the next quote:

Keep males out of sight ot each other. Make sure that the water is at least 78F and not more that 82F. As noted, fish under stress may need water that is a couple of degrees warmer.

Toldya!! Peter knows everything...

.....we have our latest band name, folks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tonight featuring

The Yeti Skid Marks

GAFFAWWW!

...Mygawd...Yeti Skid Marks....what on earth would our costumes look like?

It would also make a fabulous name for a racehorse:

And therrrre comin' around the outside...it's Yeti Skid Mark by a neck...around the last quarter-mile, it's Yeti Skid Mark and Northern Dancer...Yeti Skid Mark ahead by a nose...

mygawd, what is all this FISH talk? How does Emily know??

I dunno what in Hell I'm talking about...

She was home for three weeks, and HE LIVED! He had lost most of his color and had gotten thin, but he survived no food.

Man, I need someone to leave me behind at school for three weeks...

Hilarious...Just brushed Gus's teeth again with his new honkin' Dental Maintenance System Tool. He adores this. His face this morning while staring at me was like this:

, and then, eventually, this: More and more intense, willing me to get his toothbrush. I must get a pic up....

[blueeyedmanda]

The snow wrapped up here overnight, and the roads are decent. It is cold though and they say the coldest air of the season is coming this weekend....looks like it will be a couch weekend in my house

This has been such a long week at work that I am welcoming the coming weekend with open arms!!!! Bring it on!

Anyone got any big plans for the weekend?

[DingoGirl]

I've had a wee bit of cheap wine tonight. It's Susie's fault.

OMG - is it con-tay-jus???????

It would also make a fabulous name for a racehorse:

And therrrre comin' around the outside...it's Yeti Skid Mark by a neck...around the last quarter-mile, it's Yeti Skid Mark and Northern Dancer...Yeti Skid Mark ahead by a nose...

:lol:

this.......dental maintenance system.....bad-breathed Annie is most intrigued.

Peter - what is this thing? Are they sold in the US? Annie does not enjoy the tooth-brushing experience and is intrigued by Gus's response.....

OMG SILLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to Big Sur today.....been way too long......gotta pack and get eveyrthing ready. <b@#$%$#%, that part's heinous as we all know>

No computer, TV, or cell phones for the long weekend.

WOO-HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG - Annie will be at the beach for the first time wtihout her Stinker.........this will be SO bittersweet......but good. We need to get out of the house and romp. Plus, young Jenn is driving us, and friends from San Jose will meet us there.....good fun.

LOVE YOU SILLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(if you see me here later, scream at me..............)

[elye]

This.......dental maintenance system.....bad-breathed Annie is most intrigued.

It is quite an amazing thing. Picture, if you can, a toothbrush with three heads coming out of one handle. They are angled such that you can hit all sides of each tooth at once. I think I should get one for my own receding poodle gums. I've gone and thrown out the package it came in, so cannot give you the name. Peter can tell you, as he does, in fact, know everything.

Oh, Peeeeeeeeteeeeerrrrrrrr.....