The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Ridgewalker]

Wow, slow morning! And where's Amanda???

It is freaking coooooold here. I'm freezing my arse off. When I took the boys to school this morning, it was 12 degrees!!!! Do you know how crazy that is in North Carolina!? I feel like an icicle.

[jerseyangel]

Amanda and her mom are going to Allentown for the day. It's cold here (23) but sunny--so they should have a good day for the drive. Next week is supposed to be milder....that'll be nice.

I'm sitting here waiting for the sewer guy to come and check our system--since it's been installed, the alarm keeps going off at all hours. They've adjusted it 3 times, and now think it may be a faulty part.....I've been thinking that for a while now

[Ridgewalker]

Amanda and her mom are going to Allentown for the day. It's cold here (23) but sunny--so they should have a good day for the drive. Next week is supposed to be milder....that'll be nice.

I'm sitting here waiting for the sewer guy to come and check our system--since it's been installed, the alarm keeps going off at all hours. They've adjusted it 3 times, and now think it may be a faulty part.....I've been thinking that for a while now

Ohh yeah, I forgot she said that she had the day off.

There's an alarm on the sewer??? I guess I've been living out in the country with septic tanks too long, because I've never heard of such a thing. What makes the alarm go off?

[jerseyangel]

What's supposed to make the alarm go off is a backup problem. What's happening is that the alarm box (which is located in the basement) signals for about 10 seconds about every 4 hours or so. Since it doesn't correlate with water usage, there has to be a bug in there somewhere.

When we bought the house in October, it was on septic--I'm beginning to wish we could have left it, but the township required us to convert. Gotta get that sewer fee

[elye]

What REALLY puts me over the edge is when couples wear matching outfits at the same time.

This would be truly HILARIOUS...I shall ask my DH if he would like to go out, once, to dinner or a party in exactly the same clothing. Jumpsuits would be the zenith, the final touch of hilarity....I must keep my eye out at the Sally Anne....

Inside was the skimpiest bit of lingeree in red and white. With white FUR on it! And he actually thought I would believe that it was a present for me! He was disabused of that notion right quick. But he did learn his lesson - the next year he gave me a Kitchenaid mixer.

I have never received any type of lingeree, kitschy or decent, from DH. A Kitchenaid mixer, yes. Braun hand-mixer, indeed. Porta-vac, four-slice toaster, lovely rubber car mats, industrial flashlight....what a guy....

[Ridgewalker]

Two things I keep meaning to write, and keep forgetting (senile!?!?!)...

Emily, I love what you wrote about things getting easier. It goes to show how adaptable we can be when we have to. When I first heard of Celiac Disease, I thought to myself, "I would never be able to do that. It would be horrible, horrible!" Now, 99% of the time, it's just not even a big deal at all.

Although I do with there were a couple more gluten-free restaurant options around here.

The other thing was when everyone was talking about UK shows... my kids watch more UK tv than I do. Bob the Builder has always been a favorite, and Thomas the Tank Engine... When they were little, they watched Teletubbies. And they LOVE Brum and What's the Story in Balamory. They were quite PO'd when PBS quit showing those two. We got a couple Brum DVDs but never could find Balamory. Lucas still asks about Balamory and made me write an email to PBS about it.

Pretty much, the only one I watch is Doctor Who.

[nikki-uk]

How did you quit smoking? That's another goal of mine, I really want to quit.

Patches, gum, crossword puzzles !!!!......oh AND hubby gave up at the same time

I would say (IMO) it's impossible to lose weight & give up smoking together ....one at a time

(Right Said Thread?... )

Yeah!, ...'I'm too sexy for this thread'

But, they just don't make them to cover the butt (bum?...is that how it is spelled across the pond?! )... why the heck can't they make them to cover the massive butt I have?!

Indeed!! (bum is the correct terminology) or my tree trunk thighs ......damn.....*wail* I want to be thin again!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Just call me thunder thighs!!!)

There's an alarm on the sewer??? I guess I've been living out in the country with septic tanks too long, because I've never heard of such a thing. What makes the alarm go off?

Tis warning the others that there's a coeliac in the house - things could get ugly

[jerseyangel]

Tis warning the others that there's a coeliac in the house - things could get ugly

OMG--maybe there IS a Celiac setting on the thing

[Ridgewalker]

Patches, gum, crossword puzzles !!!!......oh AND hubby gave up at the same time

I would say (IMO) it's impossible to lose weight & give up smoking together ....one at a time

Yeah, my hubby smokes too. I have the WORST time with that-- when I see someone else light one, then I want one too.

Tis warning the others that there's a coeliac in the house - things could get ugly

I KNEW IT!

OMG--maybe there IS a Celiac setting on the thing

:lol:

[nikki-uk]

The other thing was when everyone was talking about UK shows... my kids watch more UK tv than I do. Bob the Builder has always been a favorite, and Thomas the Tank Engine... When they were little, they watched Teletubbies. And they LOVE Brum and What's the Story in Balamory. They were quite PO'd when PBS quit showing those two. We got a couple Brum DVDs but never could find Balamory. Lucas still asks about Balamory and made me write an email to PBS about it.

Thomas the Tank!!!!!!!!!!!!!....OMG...my boys loved it! (Ringo Starr narrating!)

I (personally) loved Brum

What's the story in Balamory, wouldn't you like to know?.......... , the theme does get stuck in your head ...I'll keep my eye out...I'm sure I've seen DVD's really cheap, if I see some I'll send you them over

Pretty much, the only one I watch is Doctor Who.

We all LURRRVE Dr Who....but maybe I love him in a different way (David Tennant...muy easy on the eye )

[Ridgewalker]

What's the story in Balamory, wouldn't you like to know?.......... , the theme does get stuck in your head ...I'll keep my eye out...I'm sure I've seen DVD's really cheap, if I see some I'll send you them over

Omg, I would be eternally indebted to you!!!

We all LURRRVE Dr Who....but maybe I love him in a different way (David Tennant...muy easy on the eye )

Oh yes indeed... there is that-- he's a hottie! I really like the other one, too, from the first season... Christopher ..erm.... Eccleston? I think that's how you spell it.

[DingoGirl]

Peter :lol:

You can find them a lot of places, Old Navy for example, but they run kind of on the small side and are straight cut, not for those with a little junk in the trunk if you know what I mean

OMG I do have some junk in the trunk.........SO wish they sold them as separates! I think they will run small......will need a LARGE for me ARSE (I don't like them to fit tight - horrors) and a medium top (sufficient to cover the paucity of breastage )

I have been resisting the allure of the velour tracksuit 'Lady of Leeeeisure' suit for some time.......I was strangely drawn....and they looked oh so comfy...and lovely to touch...but damn!...I am so FAT now I have succumbed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fetching shade of coral AND jade.....AND (what a coup!) MY (English) shop sells them as seperates so I can buy the bottoms a size larger than the jacket to accomate my British pear shape

...Have put the bins trash out in them....

excellent for taking the BINS out, have seen my darling, perfect neighboUr to the other side of me - yes, I am bloody surrounded by perfection here - venturing out in them many times.....

Excelltent information on the jumper etc. I was too lazy to search.

and NO, we will NOT hate the skinnies, but they MUST wear ill-fitting bags and no makeup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I saw it, lol, and did notice the size, lol. Monte Python...I should get that movie. I LOVED it when I first saw it, but am ashamed to say, have not seen it since. GASP! Does that kick me out?!

A quorum was held and it was unanimously agreed that Donna can stay.

We have a set like that up the street. They live in what we believe is a crack house or meth lab or some other house of horrors. They get all sorts of veeery interesting looking foot traffic in and out of the joint all day and night. It looks like the Michael Jackson Thriller video out front on a warm summer Saturday. Oddly enough, the local constabulary isn't the least bit interested.

she said constabulary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where in hell do you live?

and - OMG - you were dying of cancer??? what of this??????????

matching jumpsuits - heinosity of heinosities

Emily, I love what you wrote about things getting easier. It goes to show how adaptable we can be when we have to. When I first heard of Celiac Disease, I thought to myself, "I would never be able to do that. It would be horrible, horrible!" Now, 99% of the time, it's just not even a big deal at all.

This is so true.

When I went to my beloved GI, first appointment, I explained my scatological studies in great detail, and he immediately suspected cOelic. Spell it, I demanded, as much as I could demand in my exhausted, depressed, weepy manner. So, I went home and looked it up - - was completely horrified. No, no, no, it wasn't going to be that, of COURSE it was going to be ANYTHING but that. I was actually hoping for colon cancer - which I was not going to even treat, and wasn't going to TELL anyone about ...........THAT is how freaking sick and miserable I was (blah blah blah, sorry for the repetition for those of you who are sick of hearing this).

So - the blood work/lab numbers were so off the charts that he scheduled my endo/colonoscopy for the very next day, bumping everyone up and squeezing me in. GOD LOVE 'IM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whilst I was still under anaesthesia, just coming to, he informs the nurses that I most definitely have cOeliac...........to which I screamed out, quite loudly, "NO!!!!!!!!!! Not that gluten-free diet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I never remembered a thing - the nurse informed me of my outburst in recovery.

but yeah, two years later - - not so hard at all!!!!!

Tis warning the others that there's a coeliac in the house - things could get ugly

great minds think alike.........'twas exactly my idea!!!!!!!!! Patti's got that celiac monitor on her sewer!!!!!!!! gads - a nightmare - -

[jerseyangel]

"NO!!!!!!!!!! Not that gluten-free diet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

When I woke up after my endo/colo, the first thing I remember is the nurse in my cubicle practically yelling to the nurse at the center desk--"CELIAC" the other nurse said--what?, and she yelled it again!!!

The desk nurse was putting my info in to print out my discharge paper, --the doctor actually saw some tell-tale damage, so that was that. I was actually happy that now I could tell everyone--I AM sick, it has a name, and na-na-na-na-na-na

Of course reality set in not long after when I got apple juice only, and not the crackers all the other patients were getting

That was June 2, 2005--and, like everyone else, it's really just second nature to me now. It's just amzing how much of difference a couple years makes.

Oh Susie--I have a cute black LOL suit--I got it several years ago at Lands End. I don't know if they still do this, but the top and bottom were sold as separates, and they came in petite. I got petite pants, but a regular jacket since I'm long waisted and short legged

[dlp252]

A quorum was held and it was unanimously agreed that Donna can stay.

Yay, thank you!

[Green12]

Oh Susie--I have a cute black LOL suit--I got it several years ago at Lands End. I don't know if they still do this, but the top and bottom were sold as separates, and they came in petite. I got petite pants, but a regular jacket since I'm long waisted and short legged

Oooh, Lands End Patti, totally forgot they carried petites too Thanks for the reminder!

Susie Q, you are in luck with your quest for a track suit, sweat suit, LOL suit. A lot of stores sell them as seperates, Old Navy, Victoria's Secret, do you have a Dillards and/or Macys out there?

[DingoGirl]

Oooh, Lands End Patti, totally forgot they carried petites too Thanks for the reminder!

Susie Q, you are in luck with your quest for a track suit, sweat suit, LOL suit. A lot of stores sell them as seperates, Old Navy, Victoria's Secret, do you have a Dillards and/or Macys out there?

Oh, good news! I am heading over to my mom's to pilfer things (she is out of town for two weeks, but I do pilfer w/ permission), and there is an Old Navy right by there. We do have Macy's, however I HATE to go there as it is in the mall......remember, the ONLY mall exception made is for that most magical of all places, Anthropologie.

Okay LOL suit fashion advisors......here is my next question:

what sort of shoes are to be worn with these suits? I mean, say I'm wearing a dark teal veloUr jumpsuit What kind of shoes? Tennis shoes just seem too......pedestrian, and my black Ugg boots - - not right. Just got some Choc. brown TALL Uggs in Carmel last weekend - mygawd, they are sold out everywhere, I found out, but now I am going to sell them on ebay. (I'll get more than I paid for them and they're just too.....teenaged on me.) Would something like this be suitable? up for suggestions.

Open Original Shared Link

(not sure about link - go to QVC, put in Skechers Leather Clogs w/ Faux Fur Lining)

and, WTH coloUr w/ what? I am so confused about these things.....hence I wear Jeans and Uggs or boots of flip flops every day of my ill-kempt life. :lol:

[tom]

Heyyyyy nice caption Colleen

Got any 11-dollar bills?

[Mtndog]

Hello sillies- Shhhh...don't tell anyone, but I am starting to feel better!!!!! Several people have commented that I have more energy, look less out of it (read "Gee Bev you look like you're actually NOT stoned today ) and my evil pain has piped down 9at least for today!). I even walked Angus (I usually just chase him around the back yard-he runs I just say "Boo!"

Love the outfit. Um, I actually SHOWER, blow-dry, and put on full makeup before the gym.

Oh my GAWD- my sister does this before skiing! The one and only time I camped with her, no fies were allowed. She had a blow up air mattress, a curling iron and made SMORES IN A TOASTER OVEN!!!!!! So very very wrong!!!!!!

Eric calls them "lady of leisure" suits. Pronounced Lady. OF. LEEEEEEISURE.

Among others, I have a burgundy LOL suit. Our first married Christmas together, I was wearing it while I was making some Christmas gifts. Had the craft glue, scissors, all kinds of stuff spread out on the floor, right by the Christmas tree....in my burgundy/Christmasy outfit. He still calls it my "Mrs. Claus" outfit

See THIS is exactly what I was looking for when I realized I'd be spending the winter, with ever expanding arse, on the couch!!!!!!!!!

I have an English background, as do my in-laws. I know many of the strange words and expressions they use "over the pond." But I'll be darned if I know why they confuse a knitted garment with an electrical cable that has clamps on each end.

You can find them a lot of places, Old Navy for example, but they run kind of on the small side and are straight cut, not for those with a little junk in the trunk if you know what I mean

Oh woe is us who have too much junk in the trunk and too little rack in the sack

Peter! Good job putting the weight back on. Nine stones...wow. Perhaps you could relax even a bit more, and you would become very Buddha-like in your Orace-dom. This would be quite inviting and appropriate...asking the Great Questions of Humanity to a patriarchal figure with a massive girth is...right, somehow.

..And then we must rub your belly for luck....I believe....

Rub the belly- My brother -in-law (who is Sicilian Italian) has a compelling likeness to the statue of Buddha in the Japanese Tea Garden in San Francisco

My husband gave me a different type of Mrs. Claus outfit. When we were first married, he presented me with a lovely wrapped christmas package. Inside was the skimpiest bit of lingeree in red and white. With white FUR on it! And he actually thought I would believe that it was a present for me! He was disabused of that notion right quick. But he did learn his lesson - the next year he gave me a Kitchenaid mixer.

Matching outfits? why, in my head do I picture Mr and Mrs Constanza on Seinfeld :lol:

White fur to a Kitchenaid Mixer

We all LURRRVE Dr Who....but maybe I love him in a different way (David Tennant...muy easy on the eye )

great show....I confess to loving Top Gear.....those guys crack me up! It's a car show for people who may not even care about cars. We have Hugh Grant as the Star is a Reasonably Priced Car waiting to be watched. last one I saw their challenge was to make a car into a "boat" and then they found out they had to sail across the English Channel.

A quorum was held and it was unanimously agreed that Donna can stay.

ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whilst I was still under anaesthesia, just coming to, he informs the nurses that I most definitely have cOeliac...........to which I screamed out, quite loudly, "NO!!!!!!!!!! Not that gluten-free diet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I never remembered a thing - the nurse informed me of my outburst in recovery.

but yeah, two years later - - not so hard at all!!!!!

It truly is crazy...I can't believe you were hoping for cancer and I MUST say, I'm glad it wasn't that! I woke up from my endo with "You have no damage. Clearly it's mind over matter- evil man.

The most fun I have had waking up was from gall bladder removal. They asked me how i was feeling and I screamed "Drunk! Like really good martini drunk"

what sort of shoes are to be worn with these suits? I mean, say I'm wearing a dark teal veloUr jumpsuit What kind of shoes? Tennis shoes just seem too......pedestrian, and my black Ugg boots - - not right. Just got some Choc. brown TALL Uggs in Carmel last weekend - mygawd, they are sold out everywhere, I found out, but now I am going to sell them on ebay. (I'll get more than I paid for them and they're just too.....teenaged on me.) Would something like this be suitable? up for suggestions.

and, WTH coloUr w/ what? I am so confused about these things.....hence I wear Jeans and Uggs or boots of flip flops every day of my ill-kempt life. :lol:

I LOVE those Skechers (I have a pair) BUT hint: get them smaller....they run big and now I can barely walk in mine without tripping (but I am a clumsy Lymie!). I think you would look fab in teal, burgundy, or a lovely chocolate brown. Shoes... hmmm....winter white suede? brown?

[elye]

OMG....Celiac Settings....

...and a Celiac Siren.....

I think, actually, that all domestic toilets should have a switch to hit....one side "regular bowel activity" (RBA), and the other side "celiac activity" (CA), so that water could be conserved while in the CA mode (more flushing, for sure). Now, I'm afraid we're back on the toilet subject, and since we are, I have one more--if you can believe it (have we not exhausted this?)--toilet behavior to bring up...

I flush the toilet after each and every visit, regardless of what I do, with the exception of the middle of the night pee, which I usually leave till early morning. DH NEVER flushes after a pee, due to the water costs...feels that one should not flush until there is a collection of about ten pees in the bowl. This, to me, is repugnant.

It's the one "luxury" I allow myself, rolling my eyes as I'm telling him this. Don't smoke, drive a dinky little car, rarely eat out....but man, I'm gonna flush after EVERY visit!

He can be just SO gross........

[jerseyangel]

Emily--I have to flush every time....I would be mortified for anyone to see what I left....did....ew-w-w Although, our water has never been that expensive and now we have a well, so it's free

Susie--the clogs are perfect for the LOL suit. I have a pair very similar to those, but they are a light brown suede--very cozy. I also like the Ryka Mary-Janes (half shoe, half sneaker)--I have them in Navy and like them with jeans much better than sneakers. Might be too frumpy for you, though

[Green12]

Oh, good news! I am heading over to my mom's to pilfer things (she is out of town for two weeks, but I do pilfer w/ permission), and there is an Old Navy right by there. Okay LOL suit fashion advisors......here is my next question:

what sort of shoes are to be worn with these suits? I mean, say I'm wearing a dark teal veloUr jumpsuit What kind of shoes?

Oh goodie, I'm excited for you

Here is the hoodie on the website:

Open Original Shared Link

Unfortunately this season, it looks like they didn't offer a lot of different colors (Victoria's Secret online, they have oodles of colors to choose from), but notice the pretty sea blue and raisin colors??

I hope they still have some in stock at your store . And I hope they are a good fit for you!

I'm hardly a fashionista, I wear running shoes with them (I collect them nike's, adidas, and asics, oh my!), also my Skechers or Merrells.

When it's snowy I wear my cute little snow boots

Open Original Shared Link

I've seen lots of people wear their Uggs with them, I think you can wear anything.

Colors of shoes? I like browns with teal.

Oh woe is us who have too much junk in the trunk and too little rack in the sack

Curses of the pear shaped!

Glad you are feeling good today Bev

[Jestgar]

I flush the toilet after each and every visit, regardless of what I do,

<insert lecture on conserving water>

Seattle has periodic water shortages so I don't flush until necessary.

I think the CA people will back me up on this (especially since THEY are the reason we have periodic shortages can't believe we can't use the Columbia because california has leased water rights).

[elye]

<insert lecture on conserving water>

Oh, Your Royal Silly Highness...

I bow to your admirable example of great conservatory conduct...

Howevah....I jus' plain cannot leave any of my own waste, liquid or other, to sit in that bowl. You don't flush "until necessary".....When is that, approximately? Three pees? A couple of pees and two poops? Several of each? Shhhhuddddddderrrrrrrr.....

[Jestgar]

Oh, Your Royal Silly Highness...

I bow to your admirable example of great conservatory conduct...

Howevah....I jus' plain cannot leave any of my own waste, liquid or other, to sit in that bowl. You don't flush "until necessary".....When is that, approximately? Three pees? A couple of pees and two poops? Several of each? Shhhhuddddddderrrrrrrr.....

"If it's yellow, let it mellow

if it's brown, flush it down"

Also, if you conserve energy (hydroelectric here) by only using a nightlight in the bathroom you can't really tell if it's been flushed.

Ok, yes, I'm one of those militant reduce/reuse/recycle people. I have a compost pile, use uncoated paper plates so they can be composted, rinse out cat tins for recycling, etc.

[nikki-uk]

Oh, good news! I am heading over to my mom's to pilfer things

I do that!!!...first thing I do is look to see what's in the fridge (can you tell I think alot about food)

and, WTH coloUr w/ what? I am so confused about these things.....hence I wear Jeans and Uggs or boots of flip flops every day of my ill-kempt life. :lol:

Well,...have only worn them with my slippers and crocs so far..not ventured 'out' properly...but my friend wears uggs with her LOL suit...*snigger*...am I the only one who reads it as 'laugh-out-loud' ??

Hello sillies- Shhhh...don't tell anyone, but I am starting to feel better!!!!!

Watch out!!!!....Bev's getting her mojo back.....DANGEROUS!!!!!!!!!!

Oh woe is us who have too much junk in the trunk and too little rack in the sack

'Tis a cruel world that has afflicted me with BOTH conditions

great show....I confess to loving Top Gear.....those guys crack me up! It's a car show for people who may not even care about cars. We have Hugh Grant as the Star is a Reasonably Priced Car waiting to be watched. last one I saw their challenge was to make a car into a "boat" and then they found out they had to sail across the English Channel.

BEV!!!!!!!!!!!!........OMG.....LOVE LOVE this programME,....and the 'boat' episode was HILARIOUS

You MUST come & live with me & we can watch tv all day whilst our velour clad arses EXPAND

Open Original Shared Link

So CHEAP!!!!!! I want to come over & buys LOADS of STUFF!!!!!!!!!!

but notice the pretty sea blue and raisin colors??

Why yes I did!...very nice too

"If it's yellow, let it mellow

if it's brown, flush it down"

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, yes, I'm one of those militant reduce/reuse/recycle people. I have a compost pile, use uncoated paper plates so they can be composted, rinse out cat tins for recycling, etc.

Good girl!!...It's quite addictive isn't it?