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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

TriticusToxicum

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VydorScope Proficient
VydorScope
Posted

My son loves to drink milk, and its funny... and this is not a joke... when he wants milk he asks for "Ma" :lol:

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TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
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My son loves to drink milk, and its funny... and this is not a joke... when he wants milk he asks for "Ma" :lol:

I'm a ma-ma's boy myself! :P:ph34r:

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
My kids have no problems drinking their milk. Sometimes I think I need to buy a cow!

Yea, but judging from your avatars lately, they have trouble wearing clothes!!!! :lol:

So, I go away to the otho and when I get back I see you all have come up with a new use for my name! :lol:

You can all probably guess ... I CAN eat just one Lays. :lol: But make it a Ruffles ....

nikki-uk Enthusiast
nikki-uk
Posted
I had a friend, and not a real close friend, come to me for marital advice, they were just getting back together after separation and it wasn't going well. She had a whole list of things he wasn't doing ... I just asked her one question, "You have this whole list of things he should be doing to be a good husband and father, he has one thing on his list, are you doing that one thing?" They BOTH seem very happy now.

Looks like you touched it ... we got our answer. ;) Men are so easy to manipulate! :lol::lol: Just let her get the refrigerator she wants .... she may change her mind at the store like Patti did. But if you're really pushing her now, she won't ever change her mind. Tell her it's more important to you that she like the refrigerator, so just pick out what she wants. Then there's nothing holding her to the one she thinks she wants ... Does this make sense to you? I know it makes sense to the women! :lol:

LOL, not till Sunday!

:lol::lol: Carla,you are a wise woman indeed!!!

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
Yea, but judging from your avatars lately, they have trouble wearing clothes!!!! :lol:

You have no idea!

Maddy's going to be a nudist, there is no doubt about it. She loves taking a bath. Once she's all dried off she likes to run through the house and yell "I'm nak-ee, I'm nak-ee" (maybe just and exhibitionist, not a nudist?).

The picture is actually Olivia when she was about 2 yo. She stayed overnight with my parents. So that's REALLY what goes on at grandma's house. I don't know if you tell from the picture, but she is actually standing (half-naked in her boots with her favorite hat) on top of about 3 cases of soda, which is sitting on a bench in my parents' mud room...if memory serves me right, that is just the sort of stuff I used to get in trouble for! :rolleyes:

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
if memory serves me right, that is just the sort of stuff I used to get in trouble for! :rolleyes:

That's because when you first have kids, parents are afraid you will kill yourself doing stupid things. Then, when you become a grandparent (or just have a lot of kids), then you realize it's picture worthy, and they're gonna live!

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
That's because when you first have kids, parents are afraid you will kill yourself doing stupid things. Then, when you become a grandparent (or just have a lot of kids), then you realize it's picture worthy, and they're gonna live!

You forgot the part about "turnabout is fair play"... :huh:

Oh how I wish I had listened to my mother! :D

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CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
You forgot the part about "turnabout is fair play"... :huh:

Oh how I wish I had listened to my mother! :D

Yea ... my 16 year old son is a real pistol .... paybacks ... can't wait! I tell him that, too. And, since we're Catholic, I tell him that even if he becomes a priest, he's doomed to work with kids just like himself ... :rolleyes:

Richard, what did you take atropine for? I asked on the other thread, but you haven't come back ... did you get braces as an adult?

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
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Richard, what did you take atropine for? I asked on the other thread, but you haven't come back ... did you get braces as an adult?

I was there, now I'm here. You're there. When you're here again you'll know the answer.

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
I was there, now I'm here. You're there. When you're here again you'll know the answer.

LOL, 20 years ago, I was already an adult and married!! So, since you said 20 years ago, not as an adult, I'm clearly quite a bit older than you. :rolleyes:

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
LOL, 20 years ago, I was already an adult and married!! So, since you said 20 years ago, not as an adult, I'm clearly quite a bit older than you. :rolleyes:

let's see here...hmmhmm, carry the one...hmmhmm...yup, you got me by a couple years. I was still young and impressionable (in parachute pants). :P

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted

I never wore parachute pants ... I was old enough to know they're ugly. Plus, I was too busy wearing power suites. :blink:

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
... I was old enough to know they're ugly. Plus, I was too busy wearing power suites. :blink:

Beedeebeedeebeedee - DOES NOT Compute! :huh:

(I'm trying to picture you as a linebacker!) :P

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
Beedeebeedeebeedee - DOES NOT Compute! :huh:

(I'm trying to picture you as a linebacker!) :P

I was a rebel ... I hated shoulder pads and cut them out!!

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
I was a rebel ... I hated shoulder pads and cut them out!!

You must have had yards of extra fabric - those were some BIG shoulder pads!

CarlaB Enthusiast
CarlaB
Posted
You must have had yards of extra fabric - those were some BIG shoulder pads!

Yea, when I finally did that, people kept asking if I lost weight!!

The power suit was actually a few years before the big shoulder pads ... the navy suit with the tie? It was the uniform at the apts. I managed.

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
The power suit was actually a few years before the big shoulder pads ... the navy suit with the tie? It was the uniform at the apts. I managed.

Oh, I thought you said Power Rangers... ;)

Top 52 reasons I love George Carlin:

Open Original Shared Link

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section? " She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him. . . is he still wrong? (yes)

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? :huh:

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? :blink:

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? (god I hope so!)

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"? :ph34r:

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you. :huh:

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too".

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore :lol:

tiredofdoctors Enthusiast
tiredofdoctors
Posted

My favorite George Carlin line is: "A lady came up to me the other day and asked me if I had the time. I said, 'for what????' "!!!!!!!!! :lol::lol::lol:

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
My favorite George Carlin line is: "A lady came up to me the other day and asked me if I had the time. I said, 'for what????' "!!!!!!!!! :lol::lol::lol:

I love his "stuff" routine!

Open Original Shared Link

and of course...

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

My husband and I saw George Carlin back in the late 70's. I really like his stuff :D

tiredofdoctors Enthusiast
tiredofdoctors
Posted

My DH just told me that his favorite Gallagher line is "Why do they put on the bottle of mold/mildew remover 'Use only in a dry, well-ventilated area.' If it was dry and well-ventilated, there wouldn't be mold or mildew IN there."

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author
My DH just told me that his favorite Gallagher line is "Why do they put on the bottle of mold/mildew remover 'Use only in a dry, well-ventilated area.' If it was dry and well-ventilated, there wouldn't be mold or mildew IN there."

...and why DO they put braille on the drive up ATMs anyway?

jerseyangel Proficient
jerseyangel
Posted

And I'm certainly not getting ON the plane, I'm getting IN it! :D

Mtndog Collaborator
Mtndog
Posted
And I'm certainly not getting ON the plane, I'm getting IN it! :D

Oh Patti- Cc'Mon live a little! you could ring in the plane any ol' time!

I like this one:

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Actially, in my case, I feel like I'm parallel parked in a diagonal universe! :ph34r:

Or if computer error messages were haikus:

The Web site you seek

cannot be located but

endless others exist

Or a real sign:

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

TriticusToxicum Explorer
TriticusToxicum
Posted
  • Author

Yogi once said...

Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. :huh:

I usually take a two hour nap from one to four.

When you come to a fork in the road ... Take it. (My ALL-TIME FAVORITE) :lol:

The future ain't what it used to be.

I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

There are days...

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