The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[jerseyangel]

Patti!!!! The dryer buzzer is going off!!! Did you want to come over and help?? I know it's one of your favoUrite activities and I would hate to deprive you on your birthday!!

Janet!!!!!!You remembered!

[Mtndog]

Hallo Sillies......just flew back from Florida (Boy- are my arms tired ).

I ALMOST had to find a computer to tell you guys what happened. I was in a coffee shop getting a Mexican spiked spiced cocoa and I heard this father talking to his 13 yearr-old (ish) son. The conversation went something like this:

Dad: "No, you CANNOT get a coffee" in a very grumpy, half-awake state.

Son: "Why?"

Mom: "Honey, tell Daddy what he acts like before he gets his morning coffee."

Son: "A yeti"....

Dad: "Did you just say I act like a yeti?"

Son: "Yep"

I thought I was going to die!!!!!!!!!!!

[tom]

Here's a funny from my cousin:

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative

2. Preliminary

3. Proliferation

4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity

2. Anti-constitutionalistically

3. Passive-aggressive disorder

4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. No thanks, I'm married.

2. Nope, no more booze for me!

3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.

4. Taco Bell ? No thanks, I'm not hungry.

5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.

7. I'm not interested in fighting you.

8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no

coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!

9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot

or on the side of the road.

10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

******************************

#8's my fav!

[blueeyedmanda]

Hallo Sillies......just flew back from Florida (Boy- are my arms tired ).

Hey!!! How was FL????

[elye]

Dad: "Did you just say I act like a yeti?"

Son: "Yep"

Hi, Bev!

You haven't heard the latest...our yeti's being outfitted in a banana hammock and spending the evening at Patti's.....he's likely there right now...

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

2. Nope, no more booze for me!

10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

******************************

Yeah....it's true.......

[tom]

Dad: "Did you just say I act like a yeti?"

Son: "Yep"

I thought I was going to die!!!!!!!!!!!

ROFL! :lol:

You didn't notice whether the boy pushed his toast plate aside did you?

And Welcome Back!!!!

Atlantic or Gulf side?

[Darn210]

Here's a funny from my cousin:

4. Taco Bell ? No thanks, I'm not hungry.

Reminds me of a story . . .

A friend of mine and I decided to share an apartment. I still had a month left of my lease on my one-bedroom apt and hers was up so she moved into my living room for the month while we shopped around. She was the big drinker and I always ended up being designated driver. So one night, she swore she would take a turn and she would drive. So, after the bars have closed as I am driving her car home (because I noticed that by the time I finished one beer she had downed three rum and cokes and wasn't slowing down), she insisted on getting something to eat. This was the late 80's and not so many drive-thrus were open at 2:00am. I had to drive around and find something because she HAD to have some french fries. It took about an hour. We get home. I go to bed. As predicted, I'm up significantly earlier than her and since she's sleeping in my living room . . . I see her curled up with her bag of french fries like it's a stuffed animal or favorite blanket. She didn't eat one fry!!

Hi Bev . . . yetis in FL, who da thunk?

[elye]

Just watching Larry King....Elton John's on. What a truly remarkable man....such a brilliant artist--I am astounded anew each time I listen to his music, or to his thoughts on life. Speaking of drinking, he still takes life day to day stuggling to stay clean and sober. I didn't realize that he'd battled so with drugs. Anyways....he's a true knight!

Carry on...!...

[happygirl]

Em----I saw Elton John in concert with Billy Joel when I was in college.

Still my favorite, favorite concert ever. Love them BOTH!

[Judyin Philly]

Welcome home Bev. Can't wait to hear the fun details?

Did you get some great shells?

[jerseyangel]

Hallo Sillies......just flew back from Florida (Boy- are my arms tired ).

....and it's Bev "Henny" Youngman!

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

Hee Hee- funny 'cuz they're true (Homer Simpson voice)

You haven't heard the latest...our yeti's being outfitted in a banana hammock and spending the evening at Patti's.....he's likely there right now...

And a good time was had by all.

Em----I saw Elton John in concert with Billy Joel when I was in college.

We saw them in Philadelphia in the 90's. What a great show!

[nikki-uk]

Uuuuuuuggghhhh..........C'mon, guys.....I just ate.....

Oh my gAAAAAwd!!! - - - - Yes! Thankyou Emily!!

BEV'S BACK!!!!!!!!!! (tanned, relaxed, gorgeous)

Patti's boring birthday - never MIND - got LOADS of washing/drying to be done as well if you like Patti (do you like ironing too??)

Kitty Will IS (to my shame) a scaredy cat....REFUSING to go out in the garden...mewing, crying ''let me in Mummy''......but I can't take his SMELLY wee's in the litter tray ANYMORE...GAHHHhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Got nuphink funny....MUST make a dent in the squalor, air out the wee smells an 'nat .........carry on!!!!!!!

[jerseyangel]

wee smells

I hear ya on that

[blueeyedmanda]

Em----I saw Elton John in concert with Billy Joel when I was in college.

Still my favorite, favorite concert ever. Love them BOTH!

I am so jealous! I love both of them!!!

Morning Sillies,

How is everyone this morning. Not too sore from the gym, and we do plan on returning there this evening. It is an icy cold start to Tuesday though. Thankfully the roads we traveled were fine. I had the scariest dream this morning, tornados were coming and John and I were running to take cover and we couldn't find anything....it was so scary!

[elye]

Snowy morning, here....But what else is new?.......

Em----I saw Elton John in concert with Billy Joel when I was in college.

Still my favorite, favorite concert ever. Love them BOTH!

That would be a dream for me...catching both of them in one concert. Elton was here about three summers ago and I didn't make it...I believe we had booked holidays before the concert date was announced.

Music is such a powerful link to vivid memory, isn't it? I hear many of Elton's songs and I'm right back in time, a kid with my little transistor radio, lying on my bed or walking to school. Then I'll hear Led Zeppelin or Van Halen and I'm suddenly....other places.....

[blueeyedmanda]

Snowy morning, here....But what else is new?.......

That would be a dream for me...catching both of them in one concert. Elton was here about three summers ago and I didn't make it...I believe we had booked holidays before the concert date was announced.

Music is such a powerful link to vivid memory, isn't it? I hear many of Elton's songs and I'm right back in time, a kid with my little transistor radio, lying on my bed or walking to school. Then I'll hear Led Zeppelin or Van Halen and I'm suddenly....other places.....

I hear The Doors and suddenly I am in a friends house and we are 16...and she had some "bad illegal" habits. I remember the aroma of her bedroom vividly....

[elye]

I hear The Doors and suddenly I am in a friends house and we are 16...and she had some "bad illegal" habits. I remember the aroma of her bedroom vividly....

Amanda! Are you fifty, or somefin'? The Doors were a little before my time, even...but I vaguely remember hearing psychedelic-type stuff, and perhaps Jim Morrison's drunken slur, coming from my big bro's room...and interesting smells......

[Green12]

I hear The Doors and suddenly I am in a friends house and we are 16...and she had some "bad illegal" habits. I remember the aroma of her bedroom vividly....

Welcome back Bev! I've missed your sillies

Laura, that must have been an amazing concert! I would love to see both Elton John and Billy Joel in concert.

I'm a little embarassed about the concerts I have seen, well not all of them, but many :

First concert I ever saw, The Jacksons, Victory Tour (WOO HOO!!!)

Then I frequented pretty much every 80s hair band concert that came to town...multiple times....i.e. Van Halen, Metallica, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, Motley Crue, Great White, Whitesnake, White Lion, Poison, Cinderella, Scorpions, Queensryche, Skid Row.

I also saw Jimmy Buffet, The Beach Boys, Depeche Mode, and Howard Jones.

As I type this, Live with Regis and Kelly announced that today is "Super Yeti Day" or "Special Yeti Day"

[tom]

. . . I see her curled up with her bag of french fries like it's a stuffed animal or favorite blanket. She didn't eat one fry!!

:lol:

Safe to assume this was pre-digital camera since she & precious fries aren't new av??????

[DingoGirl]

I ALMOST had to find a computer to tell you guys what happened. I was in a coffee shop getting a Mexican spiked spiced cocoa and I heard this father talking to his 13 yearr-old (ish) son. The conversation went something like this:

Dad: "No, you CANNOT get a coffee" in a very grumpy, half-awake state.

Son: "Why?"

Mom: "Honey, tell Daddy what he acts like before he gets his morning coffee."

Son: "A yeti"....

Dad: "Did you just say I act like a yeti?"

Son: "Yep"

oh dear gawd.................. I woulda spit out my coffee...........

BEVVY"S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay! Are you tanned adn fabulous?????????????????

5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?

I see her curled up with her bag of french fries like it's a stuffed animal or favorite blanket. She didn't eat one fry!!

now this is hilarious. But are you SURE she just didn't completely PASS OUT before she was able to even REACH for a fry? surely that is the only answer for this aberrant behavior.........

Just watching Larry King....Elton John's on. What a truly remarkable man....such a brilliant artist--I am astounded anew each time I listen to his music, or to his thoughts on life. Speaking of drinking, he still takes life day to day stuggling to stay clean and sober. I didn't realize that he'd battled so with drugs. Anyways....he's a true knight!

Carry on...!...

Yup, been through deepest darkness and made it through......good on 'im!

And a good time was had by all.

Patti

Kitty Will IS (to my shame) a scaredy cat....REFUSING to go out in the garden...mewing, crying ''let me in Mummy''......but I can't take his SMELLY wee's in the litter tray ANYMORE...GAHHHhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

smelly wees

I hear The Doors and suddenly I am in a friends house and we are 16...and she had some "bad illegal" habits. I remember the aroma of her bedroom vividly....

Not our little Amanda!

Amanda! Are you fifty, or somefin'? The Doors were a little before my time, even...but I vaguely remember hearing psychedelic-type stuff, and perhaps Jim Morrison's drunken slur, coming from my big bro's room...and interesting smells......

I had two brothers 8 and 10 years older than I. I am quite familiar with the Doors, Mamas and the Papas, Beatles, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship (was that the name?), BEATLES, Deep Purple, Beatles.....and from my parents: The Fifth Dimension, the soundtracks to Hair and Jesus Christ Superstar, Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass (used to dance on the coffee table to that).......good gawd......so many things and memories, can't even name them all and.....brain is a Dingo Brain today fo' sho'.

Julie - your hair bands! :lol: I saw Supertramp, Frampton, Foreigner, Tom Petty, maybe Journey? - can't remember 'Tis all a blur..........

carry on sillies. Dingy is tired. But in a good way (gitcher minds out of the gutter AGAIN, will ya?)

[nikki-uk]

I see Susie is posting ( still makes me chuckle that I didn't know that username underlined /italics meant you're posting)

....but where is Kissey???

Ok, ..breaking news.....Amy Winehouse is launching her own Open Original Shared Link....('cos she's a style icon??? oooooh yeah - gotta get me some of that.........NOT!!!!!!! )

GAD!!! ....don't know how to break it to Mango & the Everyday Mineral cult .........

[elye]

Ok, ..breaking news.....Amy Winehouse is launching her own Open Original Shared Link....('cos she's a style icon???

OMG........This is the end of civilization......

Janet, I must mention that your french fry story reminded me of the few (like, maybe one or two) times I awoke after a night of great sorority partying with some interesting food items beside my bed, half-eaten. When did I get them? Why didn't I eat them all? Why did I choose processed meat and Dream Whip?

Do you still keep in touch with this old roommate, Janet? I think you should facebook her, and confront this individual. Tell her it's been a forefront concern of yours all these years, you think about it regularly, and that she owes you a large fries, man!!

[Darn210]

Do you still keep in touch with this old roommate, Janet? I think you should facebook her, and confront this individual. Tell her it's been a forefront concern of yours all these years, you think about it regularly, and that she owes you a large fries, man!!

Ohhh Yesss, she is my bestest friend. You will all meet her when we move into the insane asylum retirement community. She and her husband are the guardians of our kids if something happens to me and hubby. My kids luuuuurve her. They know that if something ever happens, they will go and live with her. My son asked me for her number . . . "just in case". I told her that if my husband and I die suspiciously they should investigate the children as they seem too eager to move to her house.

We will be visiting them for spring break . . . Boston area . . . where I'll also be pooping in on Bev if she's not off tanning somewhere.

[tom]

ELTON!!!!!!

I STILL occasionally listen to some tracks on the Goodbye Yellow Brick Road album.

His phrasing & . . ..does it make sense to say 'musical enunciation' as opposed to the actual words? (Oh .. ...nope .. .guess not) well there's SOMEthing in the vocals impeccable and unsurpassed janetdarn it!!!

....and it's Bev "Henny" Youngman!

Hee Hee- funny 'cuz they're true (Homer Simpson voice)

Heehee both of these cracked me up!

<methinks Patti's feelin' bettah!!>

I hear The Doors and suddenly I am in a friends house and we are 16...and she had some "bad illegal" habits. I remember the aroma of her bedroom vividly....

Ahhhh I see the ole 'towel blocking the doorjam' in use here. *_*

....and from my parents: The Fifth Dimension, the soundtracks to Hair and Jesus Christ Superstar, Herb Albert and the Tijuana Brass (used to dance on the coffee table to that).......

What .. no Staples Singers?

My parents had same except Hair, and I can picture perfectly the Herb Alpert LP w/ the whipped cream

And Tijuana Taxi!

Julie - your hair bands! :lol: I saw Supertramp, Frampton, Foreigner, Tom Petty, maybe Journey? - can't remember 'Tis all a blur..........

Supertramp kicked @$$!!!!! Foreigner was ok, Journey was disappointing.

Late 70s I saw EVERYthing I could afford. Became more discriminating in the 80s.

In a better-late-than-never move, started saving concert ticket stubs somewhere in the early 80s.

Last time I came across them, I'm like .. ."I went to that????" & "oh yeahhhhh I remember them!".

Much blur.

(Oh! Didn't see Blur, but I bet they were great live)

(gitcher minds out of the gutter AGAIN, will ya?)

Shall we attach any significance to the day this phrase of the gutter STOPS being uttered????

:lol:

Ok then .. ..seems the effects of Sunday's perfumeage are dwindling yay!

A minor exposure has too great an effect.

Had to tell Tony to cancel any possible interview.

Might be time I get back on the OMG thread to see what long&winding road might eliminate these ridiculously detrimental 'phume sensitivities.

[SquatsWifDingos]

....but where is Kissey???

im here catching up. im thinking that i will need a pair of roller blades at the rate this thread grows.

some of the concerts i went to back then , besides the "day-on-the-green" ones at the oakland coliseum, were genesis at the berkeley greek theater, greatful dead in san francisco!

Day On The Green #2: Foreigner, Loverboy, Scorpions, Iron Maiden (July 18, 1982).

Day On The Green #1: Journey, Triumph, Eddie Money, Bryan Adams, Night Ranger (July 30, 1983).

Gary Moore was originally slated to appear but was replaced on the bill by Night Ranger.

Day On The Green #3: The Police, The Fixx, Madness, Oingo Boingo, and The Thompson Twins (September 3, 1983).

you are a wacky bunch and i would like to thank you for welcoming me in to your lives !