The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Mtndog]

harumph......I get back and everyone feels vortexed and flies the canal coop...Susie's out on a kissy drive, Amanda is WORKING (that should NOT be allowed at all here...look what happened to Richard! Remember Richard?

Or: "Excuse me, young minion...Please remove this piece of unfortunate fecal matter from my backside. Then: I shall need a treat, my indoor lavatory must be cleaned, and....of course! My pillow plumped. Now, please".

Angus volunteers for the removal of said fecal matter from any cat's patootie.....our cats' bums have been much cleaner lately (insert green face emoticon here!)

I'm SO disappointed!

Counting the days till Jeff Healey, and I heard on the radio this morning that he has gone in for sudden emergency cancer treatment...very sad. So, concert's cancelled. Man, I dunno how much longer my dad's gonna be able to attend anything like this. Hopefully Jeff will bounce back and reschedule soon.

So....I've now got Saturday night free. Anybody wanna get together and practice for our reading?

Oh..sad- I like Jeff Healey AND your dad!!!!!!! I saw Jeff Healey live in T'ronto in like 1990...he was playing at the Junos (Canadian Music Awards?) and he played Angel Eyes...so cool. I was in t'ronto for a weekend before being in BOOF-Alo NY for a week on business. I used to have such a glamorous job (NOT!).

I'm free tomorrow night! I think we should all get together for drinks and dinner...I'm cooking, have a nanny for the kids...about 7?

Tonight Kurt and I are going to see

Kurt turned me on to Bela Fleck (never much cared for banjo but he's cool. Have secret crush on him too!!!!!!). I gave the tickets to Kurt for Christmas.

Aw-w-w....but I want to be the cool, young, hip mom

Patti- Dost thou doubt thy HIPpiness?????? Oh noo......tsk tsk- you are VERY HIP!!!!!!!!!!! And funny!

We can name it the Sillyville Canal

:lol:

I wore flip flops last week....oh scary seeing the feets in the midst of a long arse winter

[Mtndog]

What I'm asking for here is a show of hands of who used to smoke - not just occasionally.

I mean the kind of smoker who wouldn't leave the house w/out cigarettes in tow.

Me

I remember that Sarah still smokes but would like to quit.

Me too and I know how bad that sounds. This isn't an excuse but uhm..right now would be REALLY HARD :( Even my doctor agrees but I'm hoping as I start to feel better..quit once for two years and restarted when I got clinically depressed. Oh, excuses, excuses :(

[elye]

Tho I don't feel as strongly about it at the moment, there was a stretch last night at the Lara&Laura show when I was adamantly positive that quitting MUST happen soon.

I'm really glad to hear that you want to quit, Tom. Strong, strong desire is absolutely necessary, I'm sure, before it can be even successfully attempted, let alone achieved. I smoked my way through the first stretch of university, then quit. I really wanted to stop it....type one diabetes was quite enough of a life-shortener, I thought.

I would bet anything that your enviornmental allergies just may let up if you were smoke-free......

[nikki-uk]

What I'm asking for here is a show of hands of who used to smoke - not just occasionally.

I mean the kind of smoker who wouldn't leave the house w/out cigarettes in tow.

That would be me...20 a day....then (GAD ) roll-ups (BAD idea) for ...20+ years

Gave up last Easter (NOT my first attempt)...but made easier as Terry gave up with me. We had the patches.

Angus volunteers for the removal of said fecal matter from any cat's patootie.....our cats' bums have been much cleaner lately (insert green face emoticon here!)

Needs to get me a dog then

I'm free tomorrow night! I think we should all get together for drinks and dinner...I'm cooking, have a nanny for the kids...about 7?

Goody!!!!!.......casual dress??....smart casual??.....LOL suit???

I wore flip flops last week....oh scary seeing the feets in the midst of a long arse winter

You're not wrong there!!!!

Someone get me a pedicure........ or is it a chiropodist......SOMEONE to 'pretty' my feet!!!!!

EDIT: Emily ....LOVE the toilet on wheels!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jerseyangel]

Tom,

I don't know how much help this will be, but I used to smoke years ago. I started when I was 16 and was a pretty heavy smoker until I got pregnant with my first son. I had horrendous nausea, so stopping smoking was a piece of cake at the time. I could have lived without food, too, but I had to eat.

I never started up again after having kids--and I'm glad now that I didn't. However...I had cravings forever--and even now after a nice dinner I could go for a smoke. If someone lights up next to me, I enjoy that first whiff....

One thing I have to say is that looking back, the 8 years that I smoked were the most symptom-free of my whole life including when I was a child.

[SquatsWifDingos]

emailed from Susie...

"copied from Nicola.........hmmmmm..............

Leap year day today meaning all single laydeez can ask their menfolk to marry them (er...y'all know I'm addressing this to SUSIE + KISSEY, right?? "

the answer would be yes !!

[jerseyangel]

the answer would be yes !!

Did you hear that, Susie? Although I'm sure it comes as no surprise

[DingoGirl]

GAD!!!!

I wonder if I would feel the same about London's twilights were I madly in lurrrrve

silly, silly, SILLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I live in a drear and awful place, this brown valley....... But the spring here, in this irrigated dessert (oh do NOT get me started about THAT!! ) is absolute, ethereal magic.......I have felt this all of my life, not just when in love (although the coloUrs are brighter, eh Kissey????? ).........since there is no snow - we are pure, bright sky and 70 degrees of delicious, warming sun today.....everything is beginning to blossom and Annie has begun her regular sessions of jumping onto the patio table to take her sun baths whilst mommy (gently) digs.

My armandii clematis (one of only two that are evergreen) bloomed for the first time this year, and it's profuse and fragrant...........heartbreakingly lovely, I went and bought another today. And also my potted Daphne is blooming - they don't do so well here but, I've got a few buds and the fragrance - pure, citrus-y heaven.

Sundays in spring are my most cherished, favoUrite thing of all......and we have but a few to savoUr. This is when I always am in the yard puttering, and I lost that for many years, due to sickness. Last year, the passion for gardening came back........I did so much digging that most of you may remember I threw my back out quite savagely........

anywho...........this is the BEST time in the Valley and has always been my favorite, because after this, we move into months of oppressive heat, terribly unhealthy air quality, and a blanket of smoggy brown that seems to last forever. Our respite is just an hour away, in the hills of the Sierra Nevada.....

Emily! Minus 20? forgive me for the above treatise on Spring in the Valley...

She said snomit green. brilliant.

"It's all Slings and Gland-type stuff...."

dear gawd.........she's madder and madder.....

Ohhhhhhhhhhh my GAHHHHHHHD!! And I thought it was just crazy Susie so enamored w/ this snapshot of Absinthian destruction!!

Absinthian Destruction!!!!!!!!!! A new song title - or, Thaugm, the new av title:

"Back by popular demand: Absinthian Destruction:

oh pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!! (look how many e's are in there)

Awright then Suze, I suppose all this is moot if Fresno has an appropriately-stocked BevMo, but if not, AND you skip town Saturday Phaerie-less after being ONE BLOCK from a vendor, I will simply have to conclude yer all talk, ya wormwood poseur!!

not all talk - just BROKE, dude!!!!!!!!!! BTW San Jose has been postponed until NEXT Saturday, thank God. Now my friend in WG has got her sphincter in a tight clinch and I HAVE to paint her a rendition of this small painting for which she's been begging for about 10 years. This I have to do to get her to MOVE the $1500 Pottery Barn rug (!) from the front porch into the house..........gads. (I got it for $50 and it's FANTASTIC!!!!!!!)

<I can't belieeeeeeve I now actually call a dude Kissey>

Kissey-Kissey Poo-Poo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (this is Jenn's new name for us)

part two coming up.............

[DingoGirl]

the answer would be yes !!

KISSEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thou dost make my heart SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:wub:

does a proposal on a phecal phorum really count??????????????????????????????

See you tonight, Kissey Boy........

[DingoGirl]

well after that excitement, I can't recall what in hell I was going to say.......more later........

[jerseyangel]

well after that excitement, I can't recall what in hell I was going to say.......more later........

I think our Susie has gotten the vapors

[elye]

Now, THIS is exciting!!!!!

DID I HEAR SOMETHING OF A KIND-OF MARRIAGE PROPOSAL, OF SORTS????!!!!

DID I, HUH!? HUH??!!

Fancy that....right here on our very own Phecal Phorum.......!!

...I'm all a'quiver............

[DingoGirl]

Absquatulations, lectures on schwa's, kitty poo chunks, The Poo Times/The Daily Defecation, toilets on wheels, dogs cleaning the kitty patooties.....just another day in sillyville and it all seemed so terribly important but.........

Susie is officially delirious.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

oh and p.s., very tired and I haven't even TOLD you guys about what we suffered last night, this silly rendition of the musical.......but KISSEY was there and so it was PHUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tom]

the answer would be yes !!

KISSEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thou dost make my heart SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:wub:

WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is giving me my 1st real smile of the day an'itsaBIGGIE!!!!

BUT!!! Maybe I'm too much of a traditionalist in some matters & there's also the fact that I've ne'er heard of this United Kingdom Leap Year loophole. ( heehee this made me think United Dingdom ) .. . .. .oops. .where was I? .. . .oh yeah. ..

Proposing is the man's job.

Maybe the Leap Year bit is appropriate for a couple who've been serious for years & she's tired of waiting.

Otherwise, I say let the Man be the Man.

<back to the monstrous grin from this unsilly development> :D :D

Then again, screw everything I just said & SOMEONE freaking PROPOSE already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:lol:

P.S. Now to go back & reply to the regular everyday silliness.

[blueeyedmanda]

Sillies.....I was WORKING....i have to pay for 3.15 for gas so I need to work..

Did I hear Susie could be getting the big question!!!

Susie I love the new Av. Sooo cute!

[jerseyangel]

Susie I love the new Av. Sooo cute!

OMG--I missed the "happy couple" new avatar! You guys look adorable

This is all so exciting!

[tom]

. .. .. A schwa is the completely unstressed syllable in a word, and the only really interesting thing to add here (or perhaps not--bear with me) is that our language therefore offers the only situation where a word's meaning can completely change when the stressed syllable is moved. Usually the schwa's relocation results in a change from a noun to a verb:

conduct--behavior (noun)

conduct--to lead (verb)

permit--a written license (noun)

permit--to allow (verb)

Now, isn't that just fascinating?

Well omG why didn't someone just say THIS before?????

There is that asian language dealio where the meaning changes depending on pitch.

How's that fit in?

I remember 5 pitches in Thai, and the example where some 'word' repeated 5x w/ diff pitches means

"Wet wood doesn't burn does it"

I have continued hitting the gym all week ...

Way to go!!!!!

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

. .. .

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

........

HELL Yeah!!!!!

Hello!!!!!!!!!! YAWN!!!!!!!! It's good to be home .....I think the reigning monarch's secretary should provide summaries. King Ptaum, who is thine appointed secretary?

Capital idea!!!!! (Did we get the straight poop on capital/capitol in this usage?)

And w/ all oblique consideration to a "he who smelt it, dealt it" sensibility, BEV is now Ye Royal Secretary!!!!!!!!

[Darn210]

Tuesday Morning

Amanda - Excellent!!!

What I'm asking for here is a show of hands of who used to smoke - not just occasionally.

I mean the kind of smoker who wouldn't leave the house w/out cigarettes in tow.

Never was a smoker . . . did you guess that? When I was a kid, my older brothers and sister used to sneek some smokes and teased me that I was just a kid. So one time when my little brother and I were lighting firecrackers with one of my dad's cigarettes (I just have to insert a note here . . . so where the hell was our supervision? . . . Oh yeah, see my previous post on growing up in the 30's, 40's, . . .) . . . anyway, my brother went in the house and I was alone with the cigarette. I had my chance to "try it" with out my older brothers & sister (& cousins) witnessing my "inexperience". Guessing what to do ('cause I sure as hell didn't know), I completely sealed my mouth around it and took a deep breath and thought I was going to die. I couldn't breathe, my eyes were just pouring, I thought I was going to cough up a lung and it went on and on . . . and I guess that's what you call aversion therapy.

harumph......I get back and everyone feels vortexed and flies the canal coop...Susie's out on a kissy drive, Amanda is WORKING (that should NOT be allowed at all here...look what happened to Richard! Remember Richard?

Richard Who??

Leap year day today meaning all single laydeez can ask their menfolk to marry them (er...y'all know I'm addressing this to SUSIE + KISSEY, right?? "

the answer would be yes !!

Well, now that you put it out on the forum and it's been quoted by pretty much everyone on this thread . . . there's no taking it back now!!!!

I'm terribly happy that you two have collided found each other

I think our Susie has gotten the vapors

I think there's a chart for that!

OK - so new av. I just have to vent . . . hubby installed (??) a wireless mouse. I mostly like it, but it is terribly difficult to construct these avs!!! You just don't know what I go through for you people!!

[tom]

...Thought I'd repost this, with a super idea that came to me:

http://www.sewerhistory.org/images/pr/pr01.webp

Now, Tom, if that wheeled lab/drawer contraption on your patio is not anything like this, you may wanna keep an eye out for something like it. How handy it would be for John....he wouldn't have to stay at home while tossing back the absinthe--he could travel about on this vehicle, and then throw himself alongside it when need be. Could be anywhere! How freeing.....

:lol: (btw if I ever type flolf, it means my <ALT> key isn't working)

An extra for "throw himself alongside it when need be."

Tonight Kurt and I are going to see

Kurt turned me on to Bela Fleck (never much cared for banjo but he's cool. Have secret crush on him too!!!!!!). I gave the tickets to Kurt for Christmas.

Yay!!

Didn't know they were touring together!!

I remember well when Bela burst on the scene. He used to practice by doing Charlie Parker solos. An inconCEIVable thought for a banjo at the time.

I used to play a lot of Corea. Some of his 70s compositions have become stds.

I would bet anything that your enviornmental allergies just may let up if you were smoke-free......

Just what I'm thinking.

Even the most minor exposure can make for a crappy day & a half.

"Bet ANYthing"?? How 'bout a couple decades' income?

. .. Our respite is just an hour away, in the hills of the Sierra Nevada.....

Or 2.5-3hrs away in the Santa Cruz Mtns?

Absinthian Destruction!!!!!!!!!! A new song title - or, Thaugm, the new av title:

"Back by popular demand: Absinthian Destruction:

oh pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!! (look how many e's are in there)

Oh jeeez .. .have I inadvertantly committed to obeying any request containing the requisite number of Es??????

(But that IS pretty phunny!!)

not all talk - just BROKE, dude!!!!!!!!!! BTW San Jose has been postponed until NEXT Saturday, thank God.

Hope it'll still be nice 'n' sunny for the drive.

Lemme know if you'll have time to say hi - or more

<all talk!>

Now my friend in WG has got her sphincter in a tight clinch and I HAVE to paint her a rendition of this small painting for which she's been begging for about 10 years.

TEN YEARS??!!!!!??????

Heck, get her to bring the flippin rug to Frez then, not just off the porch!!!

part two coming up.............

Ya big tease! Give us part two & I'll think about the av-caption request.

[tom]

Never was a smoker . . . did you guess that?

Nope. I had you as a smoker for a few yrs, having begun as an "occasional - while drinking" type in the college yrs before it insidiously transformed you into a pack-every-couple-days smoker, then wising up and quitting.

Richard Who??

OK - so new av. I just have to vent . . . hubby installed (??) a wireless mouse. I mostly like it, but it is terribly difficult to construct these avs!!! You just don't know what I go through for you people!!

GAH!!!!!!!

I think there's so rarely a tangible advantage to wireless meeses, but, hey, kinda cool. <look! No wires!>

[blueeyedmanda]

OK - so new av. I just have to vent . . . hubby installed (??) a wireless mouse. I mostly like it, but it is terribly difficult to construct these avs!!! You just don't know what I go through for you people!!

My mom has one and I have a hard time controlling it....and at home I have a lap top so I dont even have a mouse there. At work my mouse has a short tail (cord) due to the tower positioning and that drives me bonkers too.

So tonight I spent and hour at the gym....I can feel the flabby tummy getting a wee tighter. Exciting!

[tom]

Aaaaaaaaghhhh!!!!

JANET!!!! How could I possibly have neglected to add all the :lol: & my oooh-ing & ahhh-ing over your pictorial prowess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now THAT's a classic AV!!!!

<hmmmmm another reason for me to get pc up ... ...diddling w/ all your pix!>

[elye]

OK - so new av. I just have to vent . . . hubby installed (??) a wireless mouse. I mostly like it, but it is terribly difficult to construct these avs!!! You just don't know what I go through for you people!!

Oh, newest bane of my existence.....the dreaded wireless mouse. Our new computer came with one, and I had nothing but problems with it. The first time it stopped working, I returned it and was given a replacement one...that one stopped working about a month after that. So, they gave me a new wired mouse, and I've never looked back. So Janet, if it suddenly stops working, and you clean it, replace the batteries, move the receiver around and it's still dead...

Ya heard it here, first....

But most importantly, if a wireless mouse causes you creative glitches in your spectacular avs, we want you rid of it! Your latest is a HUGE !!

So tonight I spent and hour at the gym....I can feel the flabby tummy getting a wee tighter. Exciting!

Amanda!!

Somebody must have taken this shot of you at the gym.....

http://www.hantelparty.de/xt/female-bodybuilder.gif

[happygirl]

Patti, Can I just say that I would have NEVER thought that you ever smoked. Guess we all learn something new every day.....

[psawyer]

Oh, so much to catch up on. Jacquie and I left the store just after 3:30, and got home just after six. A truly heinous commute.

Major romantic developments are taking place in California. Will Susan and David make it official tonight? Will we hear about it? Could it actually happen here? Inquiring minds want NEED to know.

With respect to smoking [respect--perhaps a poor choice of word], well, about smoking, I smoked for years. I finally quit, cold turkey, in 1990. You need to make up your mind to do it. There were no patches and there was no gum. There was will power. I had it. I prevailed. You will too, if you want to.