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The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original


TriticusToxicum

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elye Community Regular
Somehow the MINI-SPARE IS FLAT TOO!!!!!

...Crap....What in hell are the chances of that? :angry::angry:

He's had the vic for many months, waiting for an actual medical need or . ..

So either he doesn't know himself what brings da funk (to THIS 7:30am-git-fukt-up-asap level???), or just won't say.

While I agree that seems like a reasonable assumption - I've been there in the past too - no other evidence fits.

Funk, shmunk....John has a serious substance abuse problem. I really like your idea of moving out, Tom. Easier said than done, I'm certain...but ya gotta look out for number one, and this situation is not good for you. You may even be inadvertently enabling him somewhat....

Gah! Pardon my supreme UN-silliness!! Just want ya to make it all better, Tom...like the big, scary Wizard behind that curtain. <_<:)

Bev!! Uncle Ray is back!! :lol:


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tom Contributor

Hey Sillies!!!!!? WTH??

Did I get Bev'd (humoUrous bit ignored) on replacing the lyric "if ever a wonderful Wiz there was" w/ "if ever harrumphable biz there was"???

Dang!!! It cracked ME up anyway .. .so I'll settle for that. <_<

I've met someone from the forum. :D Kassandra is here visiting for a few days. :)

Whoa how very cool!!!!

L.A. Kassandra is in oh-high-yo???

(Yipes I'm sure not keeping up on OMG)

:o

I am shocked that you took it this way.....OMG

There's no doubt it was insane of me to not see it for the very minor tweaking it was from the get-go.

I blame the exTREMEly foul mood. In fact, I bet more so than in well over a year.

In hindsight, I shouldn't've even mentioned that I took it wrongly at ALL.

were I to insult or offend you, I"d NOT do it in a public forum, and LEAST of all in the silly thread!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course not!!

No use messin' w/ the current system using PMs, email, telephone, telegram, candygram, absinthegram, etc

<now I'm crackin self up>

Bev!!!!! Uncle Ray & another drink-spittin' guffaw!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

tom Contributor
Funk, shmunk....John has a serious substance abuse problem.

I do think that's an overstatement - one funked Sunday AM notwithstanding.

In 5mos, there was just yesterday & some heavy drinking nights.

Only the wackl absinthe leads to picture-taking.

"Serious substance abuse" affects work & EVERYthing.

Daily . ..or darn close to it.

I know a thing or two about this - not that I'm alone in that.

I'm sure I'm not the only Silly who used to freebase before crack was invented.

I really like your idea of moving out, Tom.

I kinda don't. I DO know where I'd go - same Willow Glen spot as before Phx - and it wouldn't suck, but here is better for many reasons.

We've talked about it, prompted by the impact of leftover cologne. John's basically said, despite that he'd be kinda screwed on double rent, "no hard feelings, if that's what it takes to stay well".

<GAHHHHHH!!!!! I'd MUCH rather just be silly here!!!!!!!!>

elye Community Regular
<GAHHHHHH!!!!! I'd MUCH rather just be silly here!!!!!!!!>

Gotcha. Say no mo-wah...... :)

tom Contributor
Gotcha. Say no mo-wah...... :)

Oh that was just me feeling like I haven't had good out-n-out SILLY post in too long.

I do welcome all y'all's comments & don't want to discourage any tonight or ever. :)

Darn210 Enthusiast
I kinda don't. I DO know where I'd go - same Willow Glen spot as before Phx - and it wouldn't suck, but here is better for many reasons.

We've talked about it, prompted by the impact of leftover cologne. John's basically said, despite that he'd be kinda screwed on double rent, "no hard feelings, if that's what it takes to stay well".

Well, there you go . . . you know where you would go . . . you've got an out if you need it . . . you're a big boy so we'll LET you decide what you want to do. ;)

Welcome back Uncle Ray!!!

and did you guys notice this little note that slipped through . . .

well, I just rented a room to my (2nd) ex, so I'll keep y'all updated on how that goes

Jess!!! Are you moonlighting at a Marriott or did you just say that your ex is now a housemate????

CarlaB Enthusiast

Yep, Kassandra is in Ohio! :D She's exhausted though, took the red-eye.

Bev, funny jokes as usual!

I don't think I need to tell you .... I'm not caught up! :ph34r::lol:


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elye Community Regular

Morning, All!!

ORACLE PETER! Are you hearing the same forecasts that I AM? 20 cm of you-know-what overnight tonight, and 40 on the weekend??!!!! :o:wacko::blink::angry::angry:

Jess!!! Are you moonlighting at a Marriott or did you just say that your ex is now a housemate????

I did notice this, but it came in under such a flurry of posts, it got lost under my radar....Jess!! What's happening? You cannot allow such intimately personal information to go unannounced in this land. There is some edict on this...right, King Thomas the Tank Engine? :lol:

CarlaB Enthusiast

Jestgar, I'd ask if you are crazy, but I already know the answer to that! After all, you post on this thread!

tom Contributor
well, I just rented a room to my (2nd) ex, so I'll keep y'all updated on how that goes

Yes Jess, regular updates sound like a good idea.

Meanwhile, maybe there's a song in this peculiar circumstance.

"All My Exes Live In Te.. . .." grrrrr I got nothin' . .. . ."half my exes make me breakfas' "?? :lol: nope that's not it .. . ..

Hi Sillies! Guess what!

My sister and her baby are coming to spend the night, they should be here any moment now. I invited her down for the day tomorrow but she is going to come tonight instead. We are going to get my name changed and then do some shopping!!! so excited!!! talk to you all laters!

Sounds fun!!!

Well, not the name changing bureaucracy.

Could you perhaps add another middle initial for our amusement? Say .. . ...an S for Silly???

Just want ya to make it all better, Tom...like the big, scary Wizard behind that curtain. <_<:)

I did see a documentary on AMC discussing L. Frank Baum's phirst draUght and subsequent revisions.

Some panelists posited that the reduced list of main characters was, in fact, necessary, tho others found it too drastic.

Besides Lion w/out courage, Tinman w/out a a heart & Scarecrow w/out a brain, there was Celiac w/out a gut, Canuck w/out a pancreas, Smoker w/out a lung, Church-bell-ringer w/out a hump, Eunuch w/out a ding-a-ling, Painter w/out a Phaerie, .. .... dang .. . can't remember the rest .. . ... any help anyone??????????????

Jess!!! Are you moonlighting at a Marriott or did you just say that your ex is now a housemate????

:lol:

I don't think I need to tell you .... I'm not caught up! :ph34r::lol:

Break out the St. Remy!!!!

I decree 40hrs to be sufficient.

There will be a test on the 5th of tequila March.

....Jess!! What's happening? You cannot allow such intimately personal information to go unannounced in this land. There is some edict on this...right, King Thomas the Tank Engine? :lol:

Absolinthely!!!!!!

<just can't think of it right now>

Unable to train my thoughts onto the right track of relevant phrasing.

For some crazy reason <

CarlaB Enthusiast

Tom, what's the story behind the avatar?

tom Contributor
Tom, what's the story behind the avatar?

:lol: :lol:

That'll be on the TEST!!!!!!!!

:P

(Ok, once I discovered that Absinthe had become legal again, after close to 100yrs, my roommate searched it out and bought a $60 bottle - tho not the local one, which is the only US producer btw. Anyhoo . .. .he had a LOT that 1st night & ended up asleep on his bathroom floor, as shown.

In moderate amounts, it's quite special, producing an effect unlike any other liquor I've ever had.

I suppose the pic also proves that in beyond-moderate amounts, it can have a unique effect as well)

TRY iT!!!!!! You'll LIKE it!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol:

tom Contributor

:lol::D I just started a serious thread <hey .. it can happen!!> and then saw it w/ my Absinthian Destruction av.

Ack!!! It looked SO very wrong there!!!!!!

New one reminds me I should go see some ocean this week.

Jestgar Rising Star
"All My Exes Live In Te.. . .." grrrrr I got nothin' . .. . ."half my exes make me breakfas' "?? :lol: nope that's not it .. . ..

so far he just drinks the coffee

he has two jobs and is taking a night class. I have a long commute and several after work volunteer responsibilities. I see him for a couple hours a week usually. seemed like a good way to build up some funds for the next remodel project. and it's my house. If it doesn't work out I still have a place to live :sweet innocent smile:

DingoGirl Enthusiast

Sillies.........I have figured out a PART of Kissey's surprise for me.........it came to me whilst walking in the orchard - - 'tis on 4th of July - - I nailed it on the head and he confessed - said if anyone (including me, evidently) nailed it he would send a pm to confirm....... (I got my pm in person, ha)....................and so I guessed it because I HAD in fact told him that the Fourth was my faaaaaaaaaaaaaaavorite holiday, I HAVE to be in the beach or mountains....Weasel has to be there........that's all I know!!!!!!!!!!! :)

I asked if it was camping and he said..............well, sort of........ :huh:

now......onto matters of the day...........

It's all FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

...but dear GAAAAAAWD!!!!!.....everything MATCHES!!!!!!!!!.......you can NEVER, I say NEVER see my house (should you ever come to London)

Some might describe my house as 'lived in', 'Eclectic' even but I call it a sh#t hole

:lol: an eclectic sh!thole..........those are fun! I've got one too!

Janet - love your new hardware - esp. the fans. I LOATHE those awful ceiling fans - like an epidemic in this hot climate.......gads...........

Uhm..one time I ate them out of the freezeer in 2 days Not allowed to buy them anymore.

OMG - yup - same thing here. They are NOT allowed in teh house any more.....saying a *sniff* sad goodbye to me peanut butter cookies..... :blink:

And there's wacky Uncle Ray again! Yay, he's back! :P

Hi Sillies! Guess what!

My sister and her baby are coming to spend the night, they should be here any moment now. I invited her down for the day tomorrow but she is going to come tonight instead. We are going to get my name changed and then do some shopping!!! so excited!!! talk to you all laters!

:) Yay! what fun! And yes, as Tom suggested, add the middle initial S for Silly......ha ha ha

I'm sure I'm not the only Silly who used to freebase before crack was invented.

:unsure::blink: um.........freebase.........freebase WHAT? Never did done that.....oops I mean - nope never done did that. :lol: ........um.......were you freebasing.....absinthe?

BTW I am out of my MIND for the absinthian verb usage..... :lol:

and a couple of days ago - David asked me - "what's with the green theme running through here?" :lol: oh dear - - - how to explain? we'll start with SNOMIT :lol:

and did you guys notice this little note that slipped through . . .

Jess!!! Are you moonlighting at a Marriott or did you just say that your ex is now a housemate????

*snort* I know. what in hell is THIS about?

DingoGirl Enthusiast
New one reminds me I should go see some ocean this week.

:lol: A serious thread w/ Absinthian "yer just a wormwood poseur" (or whatever it was?)

GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! :lol: Quite sad you removed it, actually......though......I think when we infiltrate the "normal" threads........"they" can tell.......it seeps through and then - we just lose all credibility.......contaminating other threads w/ our madness......but you know something - - "THEY" can run but THEY CAN"T HIDE :lol: (kinda tired and still not got me full Silly)

oh and p.s. - - Tom (et al)........am going to Santa Cruz this Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes: to the big plot of land hidden in the mountains there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and it's my house. If it doesn't work out I still have a place to live :sweet innocent smile:

You devil, you! :diabolical emoticon smiley:

[Crap, we really do need more emoticons - whom do we contact? is it Scott? nope - that didn't work......is it the emoticon company? Is it Bill Gates? Well.......I'm forming a coalition and it's called Silly Celiacs Requesting Excessive And Mad Smileys! or SCREAMS! ]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

<cracked self up over that one>

elye Community Regular
Meanwhile, maybe there's a song in this peculiar circumstance.

"All My Exes Live In Te.. . .." grrrrr I got nothin' . .. . ."half my exes make me breakfas' "?? :lol: nope that's not it .. . ..

Hmmmmm......

Got an ex in ma cellar,

Situation's truly stellar....

Drinks ma coffee, pays some rent,

No sex happening....won't relent!!

Now, I'm assuming you won't, Jess...... :lol::lol:

Sounds fun!!!

Well, not the name changing bureaucracy.

Could you perhaps add another middle initial for our amusement? Say .. . ...an S for Silly???

:lol: This is a great idea. S is not a very funny letter, though. G, on the other hand, is hilarious. You should add this, Amanda. :huh::lol:

Besides Lion w/out courage, Tinman w/out a a heart & Scarecrow w/out a brain, there was Celiac w/out a gut, Canuck w/out a pancreas, Smoker w/out a lung, Church-bell-ringer w/out a hump, Eunuch w/out a ding-a-ling, Painter w/out a Phaerie, .. .... dang .. . can't remember the rest .. . ... any help anyone??????????????

OMG..... :lol:

Need more info before I add to this list...Is this a Sillyville Lands in Oz combination (Canuck without a pancreas...me...Celiac without a gut...a number of us), or just a general character-missing-something-vital?

Cop without a donut shop...

Amy Winehouse without.....oh, boy, the possibilities. I'll open that one up...

Tom, what's the story behind the avatar?

Gad....you find Tom's interesting...wait till you see Janet's.... :lol:

In moderate amounts, it's quite special, producing an effect unlike any other liquor I've ever had.

TRY iT!!!!!! You'll LIKE it!!!!!!!!! :lol::lol:

Wow....just reading this, I've realized that I MUST get my hands on some of this for our big party ski weekend in the Laurentians. Dunno if it's legal in Canada. Must find out......

BTW I am out of my MIND for the absinthian verb usage..... :lol:

And I LOVE it as an adjective....Absinthian....I think we should coin it as a new girl's name. All right, Amanda. Your firstborn girl will be Absinthian G. Something. :rolleyes::lol:

tom Contributor
Sillies.........I have figured out a PART of Kissey's surprise for me......... ..

. .. . ..

I asked if it was camping and he said..............well, sort of........ :huh:

Aha!!! Nailed the 4th of July!

But .. . .c'mon . .. ..there's MUCH mystery still to be uncovered.

Guessing some sort of camping isn't quite a coup er nuffin .. ..

David's not HERE enough for the guessing game!!!!!

(Bet the skiing was awesome tho!)

........um.......were you freebasing.....absinthe?

Goodness no!!! Absinthe would've been illegal still!!!!!!!!!! :lol::P

:lol: A serious thread w/ Absinthian "yer just a wormwood poseur" (or whatever it was?)

GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! :lol: Quite sad you removed it, actually......though......

Oh come now .. ...you know the classics aren't gone forever!!!!!!

My serious thread won't be viewed beyond a day or two. ;)

(When do we get Pseu-purrOuizle again? Oh never mind .. .. .current av is pretty great)

(kinda tired and still not got me full Silly)

See below . ..

oh and p.s. - - Tom (et al)........am going to Santa Cruz this Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes: to the big plot of land hidden in the mountains there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woohoo!!!!!!!! :blink:

FanTASStic!!!!!!!!

I've been on the road up from sofa-town, but can't recall the name of it.

Have you been in the S.Cruz Mtns before at all????

Hey, I've been collecting restaurant names off yahooceliacbayarea. If you might eat in Santa Cruz itself I can email the 4 or 5 gluten-free-friendly ones (w/ descriptions) I've heard of there.

Well.......I'm forming a coalition and it's called Silly Celiacs Requesting Excessive And Mad Smileys! or SCREAMS!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: ROFL I LOVE the acronymical comical creations!!!!!!! :lol: :lol:

Very well done!!!!!

(Whatcha mean "not got full silly"!!!!??? that's on 1/2 silly?)

:lol: This is a great idea. S is not a very funny letter, though. G, on the other hand, is hilarious.

Oh right .. .tell it to my old classmate Hubert Reckshun.

OMG..... :lol:

Need more info before I add to this list...Is this a Sillyville Lands in Oz combination (Canuck without a pancreas...me...Celiac without a gut...a number of us), or just a general character-missing-something-vital?

Cop without a donut shop...

Amy Winehouse without.....oh, boy, the possibilities. I'll open that one up...

:lol: Any way you look at it's FINE w/ me!!

Wow....just reading this, I've realized that I MUST get my hands on some of this for our big party ski weekend in the Laurentians. Dunno if it's legal in Canada. Must find out......

YES!!!

(And I'm pretty sure it is legal there)

And I LOVE it as an adjective....Absinthian....I think we should coin it as a new girl's name. All right, Amanda. Your firstborn girl will be Absinthian G. Something. :rolleyes::lol:

:lol:

CarlaB Enthusiast

So, Tom, that is really a picture of your roommate?

And you can just give me a zero on the test ..... :D

tom Contributor
So, Tom, that is really a picture of your roommate?

Would I lie to you??

(Ooh that's that old Eurhythmics song w/ the fat crunchy guitar and puh-UNCHY horns!!!!)

P.S. Ok duh, yes I would lie to you if there might be a joke in it - but not lying about Absinthian Destruction. :ph34r:

If you ever get to try some, sipping 1 or 2 or 3 drinks is great (do I hear 4?), while inhaling 8 or 12 is NOT!!!!!!!

DingoGirl Enthusiast
Hmmmmm......

Got an ex in ma cellar,

Situation's truly stellar....

Drinks ma coffee, pays some rent,

No sex happening....won't relent!!

And I LOVE it as an adjective....Absinthian....I think we should coin it as a new girl's name. All right, Amanda. Your firstborn girl will be Absinthian G. Something.

:lol: Love the jingle.

I think the name, though, w/ the -ian ending sounds too adjectivian. Perhaps Absinthius might be better? or Absinthus? Just a thought..........

OMG - we HAVE to have The Phaerie for our trip to the Laurentians!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and oh Ptaum, Oracle of Absinthe - we're passing briefly through Willow GleN on Friday...........what in hell should be do about absinthe? recommendations, please. I seriously am so intrigued by this "different" type of grOeen glow it provides.........

No dining out in Santa Cruz - - we will be deep in the mountains of Davenport. Yes, I've been to the SC mountains many times - spectacular and cozy and lush. :)

Hey - where's our Patti? anyone seen her?

**************************

Here's some sillies - a few "Only in America's" - - - -

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America ......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. (dear gawd - so hideously true :huh: )

Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. :lol:

Only in America ... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ..

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? :blink:

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? :lol: *snort*

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? :blink:

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Jestgar Rising Star
Hmmmmm......

Got an ex in ma cellar,

Situation's truly stellar....

Drinks ma coffee, pays some rent,

No sex happening....won't relent!!

Now, I'm assuming you won't, Jess...... :lol::lol:

He was most distressed to discover that this wasn't part of the rental agreement. Perhaps also distressed to discover what a screaming shrew I can become at 10pm when someone walks into my bedroom.

No little Absynthians coming along here.

Well.......I'm forming a coalition and it's called Silly Celiacs Requesting Excessive And Mad Smileys! or SCREAMS!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Mtndog Collaborator

Hallo Sillies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Waz up????????? Sorry, I've been busy F*&ing with Matt Damon :lol:;) (you all Do know about the love pentangle between me, Matt, Ben, Jimmy and Sarah Silverman- don't you?)

...Crap....What in hell are the chances of that? :angry::angry:

Bev!! Uncle Ray is back!! :lol:

Oh sure...y'all notice when the uncle comes back but Bev herself gets bev'd all the time- Tom and I can slink off together somewhere and have some Beverages. :P

I'm sure I'm not the only Silly who used to freebase before crack was invented.

<GAHHHHHH!!!!! I'd MUCH rather just be silly here!!!!!!!!>

Stay strong silly Ptaum...I think I used to freebase crayons :P

Jestgar, I'd ask if you are crazy, but I already know the answer to that! After all, you post on this thread!

:lol: :lol:

"All My Exes Live In Te.. . .." grrrrr I got nothin' . .. . ."half my exes make me breakfas' "?? :lol: nope that's not it .. . ..

Besides Lion w/out courage, Tinman w/out a a heart & Scarecrow w/out a brain, there was Celiac w/out a gut, Canuck w/out a pancreas, Smoker w/out a lung, Church-bell-ringer w/out a hump, Eunuch w/out a ding-a-ling, Painter w/out a Phaerie, .. .... dang .. . can't remember the rest .. . ... any help anyone??????????????

EUNUCH WITHOUT A DING-A-LING- bahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New one reminds me I should go see some ocean this week.

Oh.......I wanna come!

[Crap, we really do need more emoticons - whom do we contact? is it Scott? nope - that didn't work......is it the emoticon company? Is it Bill Gates? Well.......I'm forming a coalition and it's called Silly Celiacs Requesting Excessive And Mad Smileys! or SCREAMS! ]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

<cracked self up over that one>

I'm gonna be SCREAMin after this post!!!!!!!!!!!!

Got an ex in ma cellar,

Situation's truly stellar....

Drinks ma coffee, pays some rent,

No sex happening....won't relent!!

Tee hee!!!!!!!!!!

PS. Uhmmm.....I rarely talk about my bizarre body problems on here but uhmmm....having appendix pain and go to doc tomorrow. If it has to come out, they had better give me GOOD drugs....I mean REALLY good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DingoGirl Enthusiast
PS. Uhmmm.....I rarely talk about my bizarre body problems on here but uhmmm....having appendix pain and go to doc tomorrow. If it has to come out, they had better give me GOOD drugs....I mean REALLY good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:o really? seriously? OMG - absolutely LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURVED having appendectomy - was so excited - had never been in hospital and got to stay TWO nights due to complications.............loved it............the whole thing.............. :lol: And yes, they DO give you good drugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: (my first experience w/ Darvocet - lots of phun)

(remember I showered, shaved legs, and put on light makeup in jackknifed position that morning as knew the level of pain would require trip to hospital - - appendix nearly bursting, I drove self to walk-in - sobbing - and then to hospital - - quite an entertaining story :lol: )

p.s. LOVE the Damon/Affleck/Silverman/Kimmel/Bev madness...............

p.s.s. freebasing crayons - gahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:

Mtndog Collaborator

OMG- this just in from Kurt

Open Original Shared Link

This is SO appropos!!!!!!!!! see- we Celiacs DO have an advantage on public transportation!

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      Welcome to the forum, Linda! Many on this forum can sympathize with you. It can be extremely difficult to get reliable information about gluten when it comes to meds, supplements and oral hygiene products. This is especially true since so much of this stuff is generic and comes from over seas. I will deflect with regard to your question about meds and oral products but take you in another direction. Have you tried a low iodine diet. Iodine is known to exacerbate dermatitis herpetiformis and some find that a low iodine diet helps reduce the number of outbreaks. By the way, have you had your celiac antibodies retested recently? If they are elevated that might be a clue that you are getting gluten in your oral hygiene products or meds.
    • Itsabit
      Hi. I’m 70 years old, and a 22 year survivor of head and neck cancer treated with chemo-radiation, which resulted in non-existent submandibular salivary glands and extreme dry mouth and altered oral mucosa. I have been using dry mouth toothpaste, Rx oral dentrifices and moisturizers for years.  I’ve recently been diagnosed with severe celiac dermatitis herpetiformis. I was being treated with oral Dapsone, but it was not effective and I developed some serious side effects. So, the medication was stopped and I was started on Doxycycline (another antibiotic) for inflammation. I’ve been using Rx Betamethasone steroid ointment with little to no effect. I have tried every oral and topical antihistamine treatment available OTC. None have touched this horrible relentless itching. That is my history.  Now to my question. Does anybody know about gluten free toothpastes and mouth moisturizers? I ask because a very common dry mouth brand stated to me that they were indeed gluten free. But as I am not getting any better with my dermatitis herpetiformis, I was wondering if I was getting glutenized some way other than diet as  I have been following a strict clean gluten free diet, but I am not seeing any improvement at all. So, I started looking up the toothpastes and moisturizer ingredients individually and nine (9) of the eleven (11) or so listed showed up as   containing gluten or that may have gluten! Am I getting glutenized orally by these products?  As an aside, I checked on my favorite lavender scented baby lotion which is supposed to be gluten free, but many of those ingredients when investigated separately, show they  do contain or may contain gluten as well. I stopped using the lotion. But I cannot forgo my dental care. I was unable to get any information from the manufacturer of my current brand of chewable multivitamins either. They told me to check with my doctor. If THEY don’t know what’s in their product, how do they think a PCP will?  In light of all this, I am confused and angry that I might keep getting contaminated with gluten through products I am using that are supposedly gluten safe. *I should also state that I have a nickel allergy since I was about 12-13 years old. And I developed a contact allergy to latex (gloves) when I was a student nurse at 19 years old.  I know and I’m sorry that this is so lengthy. I’m trying to do everything I can to combat this condition, and I’m feeling very confused, anxious and angry about not getting adequate information as I try to educate and advocate for myself. I’m hoping someone here is more knowledgeable than me of how to navigate through all of this. Can anyone offer any advice?  Thank you for your time.  Respectfully,  Linda
    • trents
      Welcome to the forum, @Cathijean90! I went 13 years from the first laboratory evidence of celiac disease onset before I was diagnosed. But there were symptoms of celiac disease many years before that like a lot of gas. The first laboratory evidence was a rejected Red Cross blood donation because of elevated liver enzymes. They assume you have hepatitis if your liver enzymes are elevated. But I was checked for all varieties of hepatitis and that wasn't it. Liver enzymes continued to slowly creep up for another 13 years and my PCP tested me for a lot of stuff and it was all negative. He ran out of ideas. By that time, iron stores were dropping as was albumin and total protein. Finally, I took it upon myself to schedule an appointment with a GI doc and the first thing he did was test me for celiac disease. I was positive of course. After three months of gluten free eating the liver enzymes were back in normal range. That was back in about 1992. Your story and mine are more typical than not. I think the average time to diagnosis from the onset of symptoms and initial investigation into causes for symptom is about 10 years. Things are improving as there is more general awareness in the medical community about celiac disease than there used to be years ago. The risk of small bowel lymphoma in the celiac population is 4x that of the general population. That's the bad news is.  The good news is, it's still pretty rare as a whole. Yes, absolutely! You can expect substantial healing even after all these years if you begin to observe a strict gluten free diet. Take heart! But I have one question. What exactly did the paperwork from 15 years ago say about your having celiac disease? Was it a test result? Was it an official diagnosis? Can you share the specifics please? If you have any celiac blood antibody test results could you post them, along with the reference ranges for each test? Did you have an endoscopy/biopsy to confirm the blood test results?
    • Cathijean90
      I’ve just learned that I had been diagnosed with celiac and didn’t even know. I found it on paperwork from 15 years ago. No idea how this was missed by every doctor I’ve seen after the fact. I’m sitting here in tears because I have really awful symptoms that have been pushed off for years onto other medical conditions. My teeth are now ruined from vomiting, I have horrible rashes on my hands, I’ve lost a lot of weight, I’m always in pain, I haven’t had a period in about 8-9 months. I’m so scared. I have children and I saw it can cause cancer, infertility, heart and liver problems😭 I’ve been in my room crying for the last 20minutes praying. This going untreated for so long has me feeling like I’m ruined and it’s going to take me away from my babies. I found this site googling and I don’t know really what has me posting this besides wanting to hear from others that went a long time with symptoms but still didn’t know to quit gluten. I’m quitting today, I won’t touch gluten ever again and I’m making an appointment somewhere to get checked for everything that could be damaged. Is this an automatic sentence for cancer and heart/liver damage after all these symptoms and years? Is there still a good chance that quitting gluten and being proactive from here on out that I’ll be okay? That I could still heal myself and possibly have more children? Has anyone had it left untreated for this amount of time and not had cancer, heart, fertility issues or liver problems that couldn’t be fixed? I’m sure I sound insane but my anxiety is through the roof. I don’t wanna die 😭 I don’t want something taking me from my babies. I’d gladly take anyone’s advice or hear your story of how long you had it before being diagnosed and if you’re still okay? 
    • trents
      Genetic testing cannot be used to diagnose celiac disease but it can be used to rule it out and also to establish the potential to develop celiac disease. About 40% of the general population has the genetic potential to develop celiac disease but only about 1% actually develop it. To develop celiac disease when you have the genetic potential also requires some kind of trigger to turn the latent genes "on", as it were. The trigger can be a lot of things and is the big mystery component of the celiac disease puzzle at this point in time with regard to the state of our knowledge.  Your IGA serum score would seem to indicate you are not IGA deficient and your tTG-IGA score looks to be in the normal range but in the future please include the reference ranges for negative vs. positive because different labs used different reference ranges. There is no industry standard.
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