The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[tom]

Bad news: These same two lovely sweet children DESTROYED my kitchen this morning whilst I slept.

Ohhhhhhh my gahhhhhhhhhhhhd!!

1st time thru is like a horror story, but now it's hilarious. So many elements of a great story. Desire, mischief, good intentions gone wrong (swiffering the bathroom?).

The line "But Ezra is a climber" is Hemingwayesque!! The economy of words saying so much.

And "shiny glaze of sugar glue" is a classic

Oh excellent!!!!!!! I'll put the fresh sheets on yer bed. 'Tis almost done now, yer late!!!!!

These Lavendered pillows make me dizzy.

Perhaps this is just positive thinking on my part because it has been a VERY short time since Colin's been completely gluten-free but I think I may be seeing some small changes.

Small is how it starts.

Thanks for your excitement everyone. Outside of my immediate family there aren't too many other people in my life besides the Sillies who would understand the hugeness of being able to finish a board game.

Having been someone, not all that long ago, who often had trouble finishing (& starting & .. . .middling(?)) SENTENCES, it's pretty easy to see the magnitude and share your joy. :)

but..........this confirms it...... I am - for the moment - BROKEN UP w/ my melatonin. Back on effexor and will re-evaluate later......................

I take it the melatonin was to sleep better. Wondering whether you've tried all the herbal sleep aids. At least the chances of side-effects should be lower w/ those.

I should think you'd be confident that the effexor does what's expected.

. . . and toilet connoisseurs . . .

Naturally! And by the way, I looooove that no one here finds it odd that I have a toilet in my living room. Most of my friends are quite confuzzled by my fondness for it.

Hehe the potential for perceived peculiarity hadn't crossed my mind until now.

In fact... One my really early posts was about Ezra doing one of his diabolical deeds. Check it out Open Original Shared Link.

Sarah!!! OMG I never saw that thread

"Super villian" indeed!

It makes me think of the chamber pots that were common in the days before indoor commodes.

I often thanked god for flushing.

Wow ... .. .I'm watching PBS's Frontline show titled "Bush's War". Just 10min in and it almost seemed like it should be mandatory viewing for all Americans.

(heyyyyy this is part2 .. ..doesn't FEEL like a part2)

P.S. Em, now I can't look at my av or the St George bottle w/out thinking of your great locker-room line I'd inadvertantly set you up for.

[elye]

Morning, Sillies!!!

Ah, we are being promised a day well above zero--5 or 6 degrees. About bloody time.....

Very curious. I thought the exchange rate had swung your way. :eh?:

We were at $1.10 about six months ago, but now we're right around parity. First time since the early seventies....and I still haven't made it across the border this season to rummage through the outlets in Watertown.....

Naturally! And by the way, I looooove that no one here finds it odd that I have a toilet in my living room. Most of my friends are quite confuzzled by my fondness for it.

Absolutely NO confuzzlement here. Do not forget where you are, Sarah...this is, after all, the land of Penis Slings and Anal Glands....

Ohhhhhhh my gahhhhhhhhhhhhd!!

1st time thru is like a horror story, but now it's hilarious. So many elements of a great story. Desire, mischief, good intentions gone wrong (swiffering the bathroom?).

I totally sit in agreement. Such raucous, entertaining recounting you do, Sarah. You should be thinking about a book, as well:

But Ezra is a Climber

Life With my Boys

P.S. Em, now I can't look at my av or the St George bottle w/out thinking of your great locker-room line I'd inadvertantly set you up for.

Inadvertant, but a FABULOUS, irresistable, and immediately obvious set-up....thank you, Ptaum. ....Errrr....at least, obvious for ME.....I'm certain everyone else was thinking along those lines....right...?...

[blueeyedmanda]

Morning Sillies....

a little tired this morning. Sorry I didnt pop in last night, things just got too hectic around my house. Very depressing moment as well...Can't seem to fit into a lot of my spring/summer skirts and tops etc....John told me just to buy bigger clothes....not that I wanted to hear that...I already weigh the most I ever weighed and I feel ugly and huge....

So I hit the gym hard!

[nikki-uk]

Morning all

Good news: The kids have been rapidly improving since the great kitchen cleaning of last week!

Bad news: These same two lovely sweet children DESTROYED my kitchen this morning whilst I slept.

OMGaaawd Sarah!!!!!! ...been there...done that....got the t-shirt!!!!!!!

Yes....laugh....so you don't KILL them with your bare hands

My son (devil child) once threw a tin of gloss paint (whilst standing on the dining room table)...I swear it took him 3 seconds.

The lid popped on impact - and as I calmly wiped the splatters from my face surveying the devastation I laughed + laughed.......uncontrollably( like a mad thing )

I think I lost the will to live that day.

Although my kids have grown out those type of antics spare me some sympathy as I now have 3 teens (GAD! Devil child as teen=HEINOUS!!!!!!)

[Darn210]

Oh . . . Sarah and Nikki . . . um . . . my children are perfect . . .

[nikki-uk]

GADS!!!!!

Is that our Open Original Shared Link on a postcard????

[nikki-uk]

Oh . . . Sarah and Nikki . . . um . . . my children are perfect . . .

RRRRrrrrrrright

[jerseyangel]

I think I lost the will to live that day.

Nikki--I'm laughing my fool head off right now reading the plights of you and Sarah!

I'm remembering back when I was pregnant with Matt and JP was about 3. I was laying on the couch with heinous morning sickness and he was playing there in the family room. I musta dozed off for a few minutes, and he decided to clean out the referigerator and "make food" on the oriental carpet.

As I recall, there were eggs, pudding, Cool Whip and a few other things involved. I cleaned it as best I could and Mark came home at lunch and took the carpet right in to be cleaned--otherwise, I doubt everything woulda come out.

Lovely, sweet, creative children....

[DingoGirl]

Naturally! And by the way, I looooove that no one here finds it odd that I have a toilet in my living room. Most of my friends are quite confuzzled by my fondness for it.

Um.......have ya not noticed? There is very little we find odd here.

Alas, it would be......um.........disturbing if people did still USE it as a toilet. Sarah, you haven't told us whether it is still in use, now have you. You have discreetly said - this piece of furniture is in my living room - - we are all just assuming that it's not in use as a poop receptable...so what is the truth?

But then, I think, having it is one thing, but actually using it would be another thing altogether. It makes me think of the chamber pots that were common in the days before indoor commodes. I imagine that the, um, aroma could be somewhat troubling.

oh myyy gawwwwwd.......you're not kidding. I lived in a guest house for five years in a lovely older neighborhood. The people next door were veeeeeeeeeeeery old - hardly mobile, going blind, deaf, all kinds of things. Well, I went into their house three times.....I can hardly explain it to anyone - the sights and........smells........all the cats........so many cats and bowls of food everywhere and........cat waste everywhere........ :vomitface: They had a portable toilet in their living room............never cleaned out.......but highly used............and OMG the filth....

gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :hurl: :stopthinkingofit:

They offered me fried chicken once.......very old-smelling chicken.....that combined w/ the other smells - - I actually wretched...... I can't handle smells and that is why I am not a nurse or anything like that.

The line "But Ezra is a climber" is Hemingwayesque!! The economy of words saying so much.

And "shiny glaze of sugar glue" is a classic

:lol: I know - brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes - Sarah must compile a book of her boys' dastardly deeds..........I remember reading about the gum in the windows..........gads.................................

Patti - loved the "cooking on the rug" story

and Nicola - - OMG the paint everywhere - and you just laughed!!!!!!!!!!!!! excellent - the sign of true WACKL "I lost the will to live that day" bah ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG Ptaum - I was watching that same PBS show at 3 a.m. - - I was tired but it was quite fascinating......but......I don't remember much of it.

Absolutely NO confuzzlement here. Do not forget where you are, Sarah...this is, after all, the land of Penis Slings and Anal Glands....

exactly

Morning Sillies....

a little tired this morning. Sorry I didnt pop in last night, things just got too hectic around my house. Very depressing moment as well...Can't seem to fit into a lot of my spring/summer skirts and tops etc....John told me just to buy bigger clothes....not that I wanted to hear that...I already weigh the most I ever weighed and I feel ugly and huge....

So I hit the gym hard!

oh, I feel your pain.......'tis heinous!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GADS!!!!!

Is that our Open Original Shared Link on a postcard????

why, yes, there he is!!!!!!!!! and smoking his pipe, w/ a rakish look on his face!!!!!!!! ha ha ha

[Ridgewalker]

Gotta make this fast... need to jump in the shower, and then off to the doctor again. Hopefully will get some meds that work this time!

Nikki! Paint can, noooooooo! Yet you laughed, how fabulous. Reminds me of a saying, something about dropping your keys in a river of molten lava. Let 'em go, cuz man... they're gone.

Patti, cooking on the rug! Reminds me of the time Ezra decided to give all his toys a bath while I was on the phone with my mom on the other side of the house. Instead of bringing his toys to the bath, he... er... brought the bath to the toys. After their bath, of course they needed baby powder.

We should ALL get together and write a book about these exploits!

C'mon Janet, we know you got stories! How' bout one like this? The time Lucas, at age 18 months, had a diarrhea explosion in a Burger King high chair.

There was no way any mortal diaper could hold such a quantity of poop. There, in a restaurant full of people trying to eat, was a high chair dripping with diarrhea. I looked at my husband and said, "Oh dear."

I went to the manager and said, "My son has had an accident in the high chair over there. Do you have any disinfectant?" She got all flustered and worried and started dragging out forms for me to fill out. I asked what the forms were, and she said they were "Accident report forms." I found it odd that I needed to fill out a form because my baby's diaper exploded.

And then she asked how bad he was hurt. I realized there was a miscommunication problem. I said, "No, no, no! It's just POO."

GAH! I gotta get in the shower!

One more thing--

Of course we don't use the living room potty! It's an antique.

[Darn210]

Sarah, was in such a hurry she didn't finish her sentence . . .

GAH! I gotta get in the shower!

One more thing--

Of course we don't use the living room potty! It's an antique.

. . . it might leak. That's why we use the Open Original Shared Link when we're watching TV and can't wait for the commercial.

[Jestgar]

or this kind

Open Original Shared Link

[Jestgar]

also found this weird insight into how men think

Open Original Shared Link

[jerseyangel]

. . . it might leak. That's why we use the Open Original Shared Link when we're watching TV and can't wait for the commercial.

Shivers....this looks like the one I had to use in the hospital last year when I had my hysterectomy. The poor lady in the bed next to me had an accident in the bathroom in the room and they had to disinfect it.

So...they brought one of these portable ones in for me--and no way was I gonna use it. But I ended up having to anyway....IV fluids and all... Gawd

Sarah--the exploding diaper....on a car trip from Atlanta to Syracuse, one of my sons had a similar occurance at a diner. We were able to get him into the rest room, and between cleaning him up and then trying to clean up the restroom--what a fiasco. Luckily, since we had luggage in the car, I had a complete change of clothes for him. I remember in the middle of all this, Mark and I just looked at each other and laughed.

Another time at the food court at the mall, Matt swallowed a tortilla chip wrong and it scratched his throat. He literally screamed at the top of his lungs for -I swear- a good 5 minutes. (Overly dramatic) We (naturally) were talking to some people we knew who had stopped by the table, of course childless, and probably are to this day after that! .

[jerseyangel]

or this kind

Open Original Shared Link

Oh yeah--my husband would pay good money for that!

[elye]

...Can't seem to fit into a lot of my spring/summer skirts and tops etc....John told me just to buy bigger clothes....not that I wanted to hear that...I already weigh the most I ever weighed and I feel ugly and huge....

I just went and tried on my fave jean shorts that I've had for a couple of years...they have not a stitch of spandex in them, so there's NO give, NO wiggle room at all, and therefore I regard them as my harshest and most accurate measurement tool. Cannot....quite.....get the top button fastened......

So! Feel your pain as well, Amanda.....

Going for a LOOOOOONNNNNNG run.

My son (devil child) once threw a tin of gloss paint (whilst standing on the dining room table)...I swear it took him 3 seconds.

Let's see.......my kids have generated more verbal disasters than physical ones, I think. When The Ripper was about three, we got on an elevator in a fancy building downtown, and already inside was a man who must have weighed 400 pounds. We scrunched around him and began the long, silent ride up to the 16th floor.

I could just feel Jack staring, and the wheels turning. At about floor 5 he asked very loudly, "You're really FAT, eh?"

Oh, gawd.....and we had 11 more floors to spend with this man.

Burger King poop!! Augghhhh, Sarah....

GADS!!!!!

Is that our Open Original Shared Link on a postcard????

Nope, but he IS on that sight. I've found him. He's here:

Open Original Shared Link

Of course we don't use the living room potty! It's an antique.

Well, just thought we'd ask.....you absolutely never know around here......

[elye]

. . . it might leak. That's why we use the Open Original Shared Link when we're watching TV and can't wait for the commercial.

or this kind

Open Original Shared Link

But these aren't as nice to lie beside.....

[DingoGirl]

OMG - these liquid poops-in-public stories...... is there anything grosser?

I once did poop my pants (pajama bottoms) when I had clostridium difficile.....thought it twere a phart.......but no, 'twas the vile waste......but thankfully, I was in my own house and ran straight to the antique port-a-potty sitting right by the couch

I could just feel Jack staring, and the wheels turning. At about floor 5 he asked very loudly, "You're really FAT, eh?"

Oh, gawd.....and we had 11 more floors to spend with this man.

oh dear

Nope, but he IS on that sight. I've found him. He's here:

Open Original Shared Link

Yes! THERE he is, rakish grin and square monacle!!!!!!!!! :lol:

[DingoGirl]

also found this weird insight into how men think

Open Original Shared Link

:lol:

did you guys read this?

one guy wants a LazyBoy Pooper, another guy - a beer dispenser in the TV

[Darn210]

Let's see.......my kids have generated more verbal disasters than physical ones, I think. When The Ripper was about three, we got on an elevator in a fancy building downtown, and already inside was a man who must have weighed 400 pounds. We scrunched around him and began the long, silent ride up to the 16th floor.

I could just feel Jack staring, and the wheels turning. At about floor 5 he asked very loudly, "You're really FAT, eh?"

Oh, gawd.....and we had 11 more floors to spend with this man.

My son asked the teenage babysitter (with acne) if she had the chicken pox.

Yes! THERE he is, rakish grin and square monacle!!!!!!!!! :lol:

Ouch!!! You could put an eye out with that thing!!!

[Darn210]

:lol:

did you guys read this?

one guy wants a LazyBoy Pooper, another guy - a beer dispenser in the TV

Yes, I read it . . . of course, being men, they weren't thinking ahead . . . they should have also been asking for someone to clean up all their sh!t 'cause it sure as hell ain't gonna be Eva Longoria!!!

[elye]

Yes, I read it . . . of course, being men, they weren't thinking ahead . . . they should have also been asking for someone to clean up all their sh!t 'cause it sure as hell ain't gonna be Eva Longoria!!!

She won't be bringin' them their beers, either......

[tom]

Oy! I may need to stop getting all the quotes and just reply instead.

Slow pageloads today - taking TOO DAMN LONG!!!!!!

*******************

Inadvertant, but a FABULOUS, irresistable, and immediately obvious set-up....thank you, Ptaum. ....Errrr....at least, obvious for ME.....I'm certain everyone else was thinking along those lines....right...?...

<sometimes a bone is just a bone>

My son (devil child) once threw a tin of gloss paint (whilst standing on the dining room table)...I swear it took him 3 seconds.

The lid popped on impact - and as I calmly wiped the splatters from my face surveying the devastation I laughed + laughed.......uncontrollably( like a mad thing )

GAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

. . .. he decided to clean out the referigerator and "make food" on the oriental carpet.

OMG Ptaum - I was watching that same PBS show at 3 a.m. - - I was tired but it was quite fascinating......but......I don't remember much of it.

Ugh melatonin-less AND Kissey-less . .. . .I thought there was some other sleeping aid in the recent past.

Yes fascinating show. Overwhelming amount of info on the debacle & causal ineptitude. Love all the interviews w/ the major players & their immediate underlings.

I just might watch it again.

Maybe if EVERYone watched it, 'twould be harder for the next Buffoon to start a pointless, or at least misguided, war.

C'mon Janet, we know you got stories! How' bout one like this? The time Lucas, at age 18 months, had a diarrhea explosion in a Burger King high chair.

Is that our Open Original Shared Link on a postcard????

Nope, but he IS on that site. I've found him. He's here:

Open Original Shared Link

Crackin' me up - any image featuring Absinthe is now ME!!!!!!!

[nikki-uk]

That's why we use the Open Original Shared Link when we're watching TV and can't wait for the commercial.

I'm scared .....it's on wheels for Pete's sake!!!

I just went and tried on my fave jean shorts that I've had for a couple of years...

Think I might Ebay mine

I could just feel Jack staring, and the wheels turning. At about floor 5 he asked very loudly, "You're really FAT, eh?"

...did he really say 'eh'??

Open Original Shared Link

Silly me - there he is!!

GAWD - he's got alot of teef

Patti's boys making dinner on the rug .....as she slept on the couch

Sarah's exploding poop story .....again......GOT the t-shirt many many times.

Suffice to say I NEVER went anywhere without 2 complete changes of clothes for Alan (yes - the poop used to be up to his ears and down to his toes !! EWWWW!!)

Susies vile waste of the c - diff ....NEVER phart (without protection) if you have this

OMG!!!...the Lazy boy pooper AND Eva Wotsername

...yeah right..........so she gyrates on a pole whilst the man poops in the chair????

I'll have to ask Tel if that's his idea of heaven

EDIT: Another title for a book:

''Embarrasing tales of a coeliac - the aftermath''

[Darn210]

OMG!!!...the Lazy boy pooper AND Eva Wotsername

...yeah right..........so she gyrates on a pole whilst the man poops in the chair????

I'll have to ask Tel if that's his idea of heaven

Laughing out Loud . . . worth some calories, right? . . . but I'm having a root beer float . . . . . . I think I still lost gained, so to speak.