The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[nikki-uk]

I'm sending Mark right over

I'm so incredibly sore from working outside all weekend. BUT....the yard looks great--we planted some shrubs, flowers (lots of flowers ), started a perennial garden and painted the 2 rocking chairs on the front porch. We plan to plant 2 trees next weekend (Em--Bradford Pear Trees ).

Excellent work Patti!!!

Terry & I are getting out there today - he's digging - I'm cutting grass

I'd love to buy some fruit trees...see some really nice ones on QVC (truly forbidden fruit!)

Wow-what a busy weekend we had, my family was down on Saturday, yesterday we went to State College to see Nick, John's brother. Now its back to work, and Landen was with us all weekend too. Last night I went to bed at 9:45...and still have not used my sleeping pills, so tonight will make it 1 week!!!!!

I guess I should attempt to start some work today.

Talk to you all later!

Amanda!! ...no wonder you don't need sleeping pills!!...what with working all week and having the little one at weekends

Methinks you could be all done your dental appointment by now, Nikki. All went well, I am sure...

Schlurping soup as I type .....small filling was needed .....but it could have been much worse!!

Love the shoe phone

[jerseyangel]

Schlurping soup as I type .....small filling was needed .....but it could have been much worse!!

I'm very relieved for you!

[blueeyedmanda]

I think I finally let go of all life's worries and it has helped my sleeping!

[jerseyangel]

I think I finally let go of all life's worries and it has helped my sleeping!

Very smart!

[elye]

It's quiet 'round here today....guess the west coasters are up and about, now...Nikki, you're seeing to supper...

Wonder how Sarah is?

....And Peter's phone line....

[DingoGirl]

I know--it's about as perfect a fit as I'm ever gonna find....I'm just so scared. I'm so grateful to have you all to run this by--ya'll really understand how this feels. I still haven't made up my mind.

zoigs, I would be scared too! Take your time.....but - - I have a feeling - this sounds perfect.

Ohhhhhhhh kay .. . .. <sigh>

Thanks for all the kind words but . ....I . . .

I . .. . ..f

well.....I think that about says it all...........

PTAUM!!!!!!!!!! You didn't fail......as the girls said, 'tis just a bump in the road......more hypnosis.

While we were sitting out on the deck this afternoon, after I returned home, we noticed two rabbits in the yard next door. Our cats were diligently watching from the deck, but I don't think the bunnies knew they were there--they were just eating the grass and other plants in the yard. A red squirrel came onto the railing briefly, but made a hasty retreat when the two female cats went into "hunting" mode upon seeing the squirrel.

Well Peter, this part's charming......nature, alive in your back yard! I'm so jealous.......they make SURE to cut down any remnants of nature here, to put up their damned housing developments.. .. But - - so HEINOUS about your phone adn work difficulties! Hope it's fixed soon.....

<groan>....dental appointment lunch time ...I can't chew on one side (please god NOT a root canal needed)

GAAAHHHHH!!!! (hate the dentist)

Nikki - so glad to hear it was but a filling! I am in need of two root canals, and then two crowns....I live w/ enormous pain in these two molars as jsut don't have - oh, say, FOUR THOUSAND dollars for that right now......

SILLIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'tis the most glorious spring Monday!

Must become quite efficient now............on with the day!!!!!!!!!!

[jerseyangel]

It's quiet 'round here today....guess the west coasters are up and about, now...Nikki, you're seeing to supper...

Wonder how Sarah is?

....And Peter's phone line....

Yes, it'tis quiet....

zoigs, I would be scared too! Take your time.....but - - I have a feeling - this sounds perfect.

Thanks, Susie

Lovely Spring day here, too. Windy but sunny.

Peter--how's that phone line coming?

Photaugm--how you doin today?

[Darn210]

Patti - the job sounds fantastic!!! I wish I could find something. It needs to be outrageously flexible, though . . . where am I gonna find that??? I need to be off for school holidays and snow days and kid sick days and if I'm working and the school calls, I need to be able to leave . . . anybody got any ideas?? I need to make enough money to pay for somebody to clean my house . . . 'cause I hate it . . . and therefore don't do it . . . often . . . enough . . .

Tom . . . git yer arse back on that horse!! You, too, Sarah!!!! (<--- That's my "tuff love" )

Amanda . . . YaY on the Sleep. I seem to need a little help there. I feel tired all the time but don't sleep well at night . . . actually I sleep well, I just can't sleep long enough. After about 6 hours, I'm done. I feel like I need about another hour a night and I would be OK. Got some other stuff goin' on, too. My friend tells me I need to get my thyroid checked. Suppose I need to get around to doing that.

Has anybody else tried hypnotherapy besides tom? (Should I be posting this on OMG?) Or for anything besides smoking? I need some will power when it comes to food. I have NONE!!! I eat all the time even when I'm not hungary!!!

[DingoGirl]

Patti - the job sounds fantastic!!! I wish I could find something. It needs to be outrageously flexible, though . . . where am I gonna find that??? I need to be off for school holidays and snow days and kid sick days and if I'm working and the school calls, I need to be able to leave . . . anybody got any ideas?? I need to make enough money to pay for somebody to clean my house . . . 'cause I hate it . . . and therefore don't do it . . . often . . . enough . . .

I hear ya. You DO need somethign flexible. Wish I had ideas......I burst into tears just now whilst looking at jobs online - what else is new. This is the bane of my existence and I have been job-hunting since I was......16? Wait - that's not true - my DAD got my first two jobs for me.

So.....I have no skills, really, except talking and being charming and listening to people's needs. Sometimes. My brain is still mush, not as bad as it was all my life but....it's a mess. I couldn't do ANY type of management situation. I will NOT do retail. I need something part-time.....and can't stand on my feet for more than about 30 minutes at a time or back will give out. I think I"m goign to have to do something mindless again like receptionist - - I swear it's the only thing for which I"m qualified. [Oh - I kin spel and right reel good, two. ]

Seriously.....I am so depressed about this and while two other major areas are goign well in my life - love and health - - this is the one heinous, bad, terrible, ruinous thing. I spoke to David briefly on the phone about it this morning - and just burst into tears - I have had my jobless situation ruin relationships before and don't want that to take over again, so I keep it to myself.

Why can't I just be independently wealthy and just volunteer? You know what else.....I have abstained, a great portion of my life, from volunteering because - what if a job comes along and then I have to quit the volunteer job? Well - no more. I start my reading thing w/ the kids this week, I think......

Patti - I want that job that you've got going. 'tis perfect.

carry on sillies.................bah. so sad.

[jerseyangel]

I need some will power when it comes to food. I have NONE!!! I eat all the time even when I'm not hungary!!!

Oh Janet, I hear ya there! I'm the same way--I have absolutely no problem staying away from the stuff I'm sensitive to, but somehow I manage to overeat on the safe-for-me-foods! Gawd!

I've never tried hypnotherapy, or anything, really. About the only thing that has ever worked for me in this dept is a strict low-carb diet. At the present time, though, I just don't have it in me to try another one.

[jerseyangel]

Susie,

I hope my blathering on about this potential job isn't upsetting you. Honestly, I wasn't looking--the opportunity just sorta fell into my lap.

You would be perfect for this too--I wonder if any Chiropractors in your area need help? They all have such good hours, and they train you. Another plus (I keep telling myself) is that this guy knows all about my health issues, which is somehow reassuring.

I have an appointment there Wednesday--and I still don't know what I'm going to say. Pitiful

And even if I do decide to give it a try, I'm not telling anyone in the real world until I know if I can handle it Having to quit over the phone last time was beyond mortifying.

[Darn210]

Susie,

I hope my blathering on about this potential job isn't upsetting you. Honestly, I wasn't looking--the opportunity just sorta fell into my lap.

Sometimes those are the best ones!!! I wasn't even looking when my last job fell in my lap . . . I took it, liked it better than any of my previous jobs, then had a couple of kids and things just kind of changed . . . git yer mind outta da gutter, Emily . . . not like your kind of "changing".

[Darn210]

Well, time to head over to the school . . . we've got another cub scout outing . . . time to plant some trees . . . gloves? check . . . shovel? check . . . old shoes? check . . . tequilla? check.

[jerseyangel]

Well, time to head over to the school . . . we've got another cub scout outing . . . time to plant some trees . . . gloves? check . . . shovel? check . . . old shoes? check . . . tequilla? check.

Have fun, Janet

[tom]

***catching up on old stuff again***

Emily!! What a read Michelle's 2008 YukonQuest Journal is!!!!!!

Fascinating to get her point of view - I didn't want it to end.

Thx for sending that

....(now, I have NOT brought this up at all because I choke up whenever I do...our HUGE, eighty year-old horse chestnut tree is officially dying--my kids have climbed it, had a house up in its grand, twisted branches, the tire swing still hangs resolutely from a limb that always seems to be waving at me in the kitchen...).

It had a nice life tho, eh? Reminds me of one up at The Cottage on Lake Michigan, and that makes me smile.

Still .. . ..sad situation in Em's yard.

Em - we had pre-made chili verde - no beans, thank you

<Sthylvesthter lithsp> sufferin' succotash!! sounds suspiciously saucy!!

I'm ok today. Not excited about starting over on the cigquitting.

Paying much attn to how often I neeeeeeeeeeed one. Went 3.3 hrs after dinner before smoking, which felt like some little accomplishment.

I'm still surprised day5 wasn't going any easier than day2. I was only ready for 3 tough days.

Maybe I need to plan something really good to be doing. Or be off somewhere. (Ooooh! Nic&Nat by Reno perform Sat in some version of H.S. Musical!! - tho they're only 12 & 9)

[DingoGirl]

<Sthylvesthter lithsp> sufferin' succotash!! sounds suspiciously saucy!!

<----- stronger emoticon than what I'm feeling but this did give me a wee smile. Yes, go figure, there was WAY more sauce than on that chicken he turned his nose at upon which he turned his nose.

Tom - you should be proud you did five days and then went three hours........it's a start.

OH DEAR GAWD! I might be meeting mini Kissey in just an hour or two......stay tuned......

[Mtndog]

Just woke up from midday nap and was confused to see that my picture was in every other response....then I realized Janet's avatar always has me or Angus although I am usually picking my nose and poor Angy is trapped in Amy Winehouse's beehive

OK- before I forget, Ii wanted to let you all know that my area (yes Janet, you have been here) has a new claim to fame. We are the home of Cape Cod, tanglewood, the Berkshires, the Freedom trail and Open Original Shared Link She's here filming a movie (Gloucester is two towns up- had breakfast there today) and I am so embarassed I want to apologize in person. Wwe saw some of the movie sets and I kept looking for her because I wanted to say, "sandra, I'm SO sorry. we're not ALL drunk Mass%$@#s! I swear!"

Patti- I meant to say cool beans- the job sounds good!

Peter-Poopy pants on the connection but cute little humping hopping bunnies and squirrels are good!

Ptaum- Sometimes you just have to get back on the horse- falling off doesn't make you a bad rider. The more times you try, the closer you get to success!!!!!!!! I am SO rooting for you!!!!!

I fa......

Ff ... . .. ..fff ... .

Ffffformulated a new plan & have begun implementation ? .. . .

( 4.7days down the drain?)

It was driving me crazy. I wasn't ready for it to not be going away. Or making it so hard to concentrate.

I have 5 more hypnosessions. Next 2 should be 4 days apart.

Morning sillies!!!

T'is national stop snoring week here!! (I don't...he DOES )

Putting Kurt and his entire family on next plane!!!!!!!!!! Sorry abbout dentist

I'm so incredibly sore from working outside all weekend. BUT....the yard looks great--we planted some shrubs, flowers (lots of flowers ), started a perennial garden and painted the 2 rocking chairs on the front porch. We plan to plant 2 trees next weekend (Em--Bradford Pear Trees ).

It's shaping up pretty well!

This sounds great patti! I bet it looks beaUtiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tom]

Wow Patti what a big bunch of yardwork you did!! New job prospect sounds pretty marvy, whether you take it or not.

And Amanda's running around all wkend AND hit a full week of good sleeping yay!

Aw Susie . .. ..sorry the employment thoughts get you so down.

Emily!!!!!! You didn't go see the saxman didja?

what is wrong with me today.......bursting into tears at every turn.

. . ... .what the heck IS going on w/ this?

I so completely detest not having any possible causes to blame when I'm stuck in a "wth is wrong w/ me" situation.

OH DEAR GAWD! I might be meeting mini Kissey in just an hour or two......stay tuned......

How exCITing!!!!!!

And panicky a bit? Understatement?

But it's probably about time. Enjoy it and don't go overboard w/ overtly trying too hard to make a good impression. <I think that makes some sense>

[nikki-uk]

Well, time to head over to the school . . . we've got another cub scout outing . . . time to plant some trees . . . gloves? check . . . shovel? check . . . old shoes? check . . . tequilla? check.

YES, YES!! Most important you don't forget the tequilla darn it!!

Argh - the job debate

Firstly - Patti - your offer sounds perfect BUT scary

Susie - GADS I am sooo sorry the whole job thing gets you so worked up - t'is a travesty as *I* (and other sillies) know you have many many qualities.

You know , I've always thought you should be a writer - words phlow really easy with you and your posts ALWAYS make an interesting read....but quite how you get your foot on the ladder I don't know.

I also struggle with the concept of not working...was brought up to have a strong work ethic ....I feel I should be doing summat...but what?? I dunno....been outta the work force for 19 yrs

Although hubby is well now - he could not ever cope with a full time job again.....all the diagnosis' came too late..too much damage done..so we rely on disability

As soon as I were to get a job we'd lose ALL disability benefits ....a catch 22, so if I were to work I'd have to be the bread winner (yeah, right with no skills )......probably having to work 10 hrs or more....then come home and sort kids and home out

Too scary ..... still waiting for the lottery OR that rich relative to show up!!!

[elye]

I wish I could find something. It needs to be outrageously flexible, though . . . where am I gonna find that??? I need to be off for school holidays and snow days and kid sick days and if I'm working and the school calls, I need to be able to leave . . . anybody got any ideas?? I need to make enough money to pay for somebody to clean my house . . . 'cause I hate it . . . and therefore don't do it . . . often . . . enough . . .

I am, once again, soooooooooo lucky. Self-employed, part time (lots of the work is paper stuff at home), summers off.....I can work as much or as little as I want, really....drop a contract here, go searching for another there. The only minus about working for myself is that I'm doing everything--not just teaching. I'm marketing, administrating...all that yucky stuff. It sounds like I may not have a contract in the fall with the French Embassy, so we'll see....

Has anybody else tried hypnotherapy besides tom? (Should I be posting this on OMG?) Or for anything besides smoking? I need some will power when it comes to food. I have NONE!!! I eat all the time even when I'm not hungary!!!

Isn't that the story of.....um....every forty-something woman's life?

Oh Janet, I hear ya there! I'm the same way--I have absolutely no problem staying away from the stuff I'm sensitive to, but somehow I manage to overeat on the safe-for-me-foods!

And I hear both of you....tough with the diabetes, too.....

Sometimes those are the best ones!!! I wasn't even looking when my last job fell in my lap . . . I took it, liked it better than any of my previous jobs, then had a couple of kids and things just kind of changed . . . git yer mind outta da gutter, Emily . . . not like your kind of "changing".

Hey! No, not my kind of changing....things must have changed immediately before you got pregnant.....

Well, time to head over to the school . . . we've got another cub scout outing . . . time to plant some trees . . . gloves? check . . . shovel? check . . . old shoes? check . . . tequilla? check.

Tequila? This is a green outing, Janet! Tree-planting...It's absinthe er nothin'!

Emily!! What a read Michelle's 2008 YukonQuest Journal is!!!!!!

Fascinating to get her point of view - I didn't want it to end.

Thx for sending that

Yer so welcome. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to have you guys, real friends taking interest in my life stuff...

I've told Michelle that she should write a book.

Still .. . ..sad situation in Em's yard.

((((Siiiigggggghhhhh.....))))

It's waving goodbye to me..........

Paying much attn to how often I neeeeeeeeeeed one. Went 3.3 hrs after dinner before smoking, which felt like some little accomplishment.

That is certainly an accomplishment! Simply trying to tack an extra ten minutes onto the intervals between cigarettes each day might be a great way to approach quitting.

OH DEAR GAWD! I might be meeting mini Kissey in just an hour or two......stay tuned......

Susie! This is exciting, and nerve-wracking! Keep us posted....

How can he not be crazy about you?

....But I wouldn't bring up your recent gas-bombs, or strange poops.......

So sorry you've got the job-freakouts....you are such a terrific writer. Why not start your book? Work at home, create your own hours, dress slovenly....Truly, you should get that story of yours out for us all, Susie!

Emily!!!!!! You didn't go see the saxman didja?

[Jestgar]

Zen Judaism

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Be here now.

Be someplace else later.

Is that so complicated?

Drink tea and nourish life;

with the first sip, joy;

with the second sip, satisfaction;

with the third sip, peace;

with the fourth, a Danish.

Wherever you go, there you are.

Your luggage is another story.

Accept misfortune as a blessing.

Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems.

What would you talk about?

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Oy.

There is no escaping karma.

In a previous life,

you never called,

you never wrote,

you never visited.

And whose fault was that?

Zen is not easy.

It takes effort to attain nothingness.

And then what do you have?

Bupkis.

The Tao does not speak.

The Tao does not blame.

The Tao does not take sides.

The Tao has no expectations.

The Tao demands nothing of others.

The Tao is not Jewish.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your

problems.

Let your mind be as a floating cloud.

Let your stillness be as a wooded glen.

And sit up straight.

You'll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders.

Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.

Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.

Each blossom has ten thousand petals.

You might want to see a specialist.

Be aware of your body.

Be aware of your perceptions.

Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a

terminal illness.

The Torah says,

Love your neighbor as yourself.

The Buddha says,

There is no self.

So, maybe we're off the hook.

[jerseyangel]

Tequila? This is a green outing, Janet! Tree-planting...It's absinthe er nothin'!

Hee hee

Drink tea and nourish life;

with the first sip, joy;

with the second sip, satisfaction;

with the third sip, peace;

with the fourth, a Danish.

This is great, Jess....I'd like to add to the above--with the fifth, a pee break

[Darn210]

Have fun, Janet

It's not about having fun. It's about bringing home all seven boys with two little sisters and a little brother with all of their fingers and toes and no gashes in the forehead and if you would have seen the way they were flinging shovels and hoes around, you know injury-free tree planting was the true goal.

[DingoGirl]

. . ... .what the heck IS going on w/ this?

I so completely detest not having any possible causes to blame when I'm stuck in a "wth is wrong w/ me" situation.

well today's "what is wrong with me" had to to w/ the dreaded monday morning job hunt......an utter heinosity. Gets me into a deep funk every time.........

Gah! Mini Kissey - - well - - he hurt his hand this morning at school, they suspected it were broken ('twere not, in fact - just a sprain). So - David went and got him - they planned on stopping by after all the medical heinosities were over - - but it went too long and the boy wanted to just go home......so some other time. The Wee Kissey adn I have talked on teh phone a couple of times - he's a hoot. I'm not askeert.

Although hubby is well now - he could not ever cope with a full time job again.....all the diagnosis' came too late..too much damage done..so we rely on disability

As soon as I were to get a job we'd lose ALL disability benefits ....a catch 22, so if I were to work I'd have to be the bread winner (yeah, right with no skills )......probably having to work 10 hrs or more....then come home and sort kids and home out

I can SOOOOOOOOO relate to this, Nik.........I, too, don't think I could ever cope w/ full-time job again either. Too much ruin..........too much brain gone......too much stress - - but I'm still holding out hope for a decent part-time job to work into a full-time......gradually.............. We will see.

Yes, Em, your job sounds idyllic......do they need someone else up there? Again - they'll have to pay for my airfare - - and stuff - - maybe three days a week? Um.......I'll help you grade yer papers, er sumfin'....

Zen Judaism

Zen is not easy.

It takes effort to attain nothingness.

And then what do you have?

Bupkis.

Bupkis.

Hi Beaverly!!!!!!!!! OMG - the Sandra Bullock debacle - right there in your 'hood!!!!!!!!!!!! Um.........why don't you see if you can be an extra, onset someday? great fun............just walk on in and pretend like you belong there - no one'll notice

[jerseyangel]

It's not about having fun. It's about bringing home all seven boys with two little sisters and a little brother with all of their fingers and toes and no gashes in the forehead and if you would have seen the way they were flinging shovels and hoes around, you know injury-free tree planting was the true goal.

Ok