The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Jestgar]

:lol: :lol:

I guess that's the cheese lovers equivalent to watching the grass grow.

[PJconfig]

Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down..........can NEVER get THAT out of my head.

How about the theme to "MASH". Suicide is painless, it last through all the ages. Bad Bad!

or Bad Bad Leroy Brown, badest man in the who d.... town.

Had a brother named Reathel, gave him a good bottle of wine for a holiday with a card that said Unkl Weebles Wobbles, but He don't Fall Down.

[PJconfig]

Ok, now this cracks me up

Visa add some charge to my card, it was 27p (about 40c) but I have no other transacations that month on that card.

I forget what is was a currency transaction... some surcharge they added the followingg month.

it costs me about 50% more to post a cheque (standard rate) and about 20x more for a guaranteed delivery...

Today I get my bill ... 12 pounds for late payment .. total 12.27

yeah I realise its a contract and its still trivial money but are they serious...

I just find the whole thing rather funny!

Always send them 10 to 25c more than required. That cost them to notify you each month that you are over and sometimes they have to even refund it to you.

[Jestgar]

Always send them 10 to 25c more than required. That cost them to notify you each month that you are over and sometimes they have to even refund it to you.

I've actually done this on purpose - just to annoy a particularly annoying company.

[Mtndog]

PATTI!! It must be a 'blue hammer' thing that we crrrave chocolate!!!

Freaky bunny!

Ok, totally unrelated to Easter...strictly for cheese fanatics

Open Original Shared Link

...people actually watch this????

OMG- I was a blue hammer too!

A watch cheese get old video? I thought my life was boring!!!!!!!!!

GFP and PJ- I still have $5 in a Bank of America account just to annoy them!

Religious Jokes for this weeekend (not intended to offend anyone)

Easter Joke:

Why shouldn't you tell an Easter Egg a joke? ? Because it might crack up!

And from kosherforpassover.com:

Moses was sitting in the Egyptian ghetto. Things were terrible. Pharaoh wouldn't even speak to him. The rest of the Israelites were mad at him and making the overseers even more irritable than usual, etc. He was about ready to give up.

Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice spoke from above:

"You, Moses, heed me ! I have good news, and bad news."

Moses was staggered. The voice continued:

"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel from bondage. If Pharaoh refuses to release your bonds, I will smite Egypt with a rain of frogs"

"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to the Promised Land. If Pharaoh blocks your way, I will smite Egypt with a plague of Locust."

"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to freedom and safety. If Pharaoh's army pursues you, I will part the waters of the Red Sea to open your path to the Promised Land."

Moses was stunned. He stammered, "That's.... that's fantastic. I can't believe it! --- But what's the bad news?"

"You, Moses, must write the Environmental Impact Statement."

:P :P Poor Moses

And for me (Buddhist jokes are VERY hard to find):

QUESTION: Why can't the Buddha vacuum under the sofa?

ANSWER: Because he has no attachments.

[DingoGirl]

9. Removed from a department store last December after screaming at Santa, "You're going to die up there, fat man!"

for some reason that one nearly made me spit out my coffee

Always send them 10 to 25c more than required. That cost them to notify you each month that you are over and sometimes they have to even refund it to you.

excellent PJ! welcome to our madness.

okay - here's something - -

Open Original Shared Link

remember not to move the cursor onto the picture until you SEE the whale.......

[Mtndog]

Now that is something disgusting yet all Celiacs can appreciate. I try not to do it naked in a pool though!

[DingoGirl]

Now that is something disgusting yet all Celiacs can appreciate. I try not to do it naked in a pool though!

Yes, I don't stick my bum in the air to pass gas in the pool....

my mom sent me the whale, and said, send it to all your SillyYak friends who seem to appreciate your scatological humour.

[Mtndog]

Yes, I don't stick my bum in the air to pass gas in the pool....

my mom sent me the whale, and said, send it to all your SillyYak friends who seem to appreciate your scatological humour.

She said "scatological" :lol: :lol:

[jerseyangel]

Susie,

I'm exhausted and slap happy from shopping, baking and cleaning for tomorrow! That "whale" just cracked me up--I'm sitting here all alone, laughing like an idiot

Bev--"no attachments" Very funny!

Happy Easter all you nuts

[Mtndog]

Thank you Easter Bunny! Bawk! Bawk!

[nikki-uk]

HAPPY EASTER SILLIES!!!!!

Open Original Shared Link

Blimin brilliant!! ,thank-you Susan.

Butt humour alway's goes down well!!

I'm exhausted and slap happy from shopping, baking and cleaning for tomorrow!

..Sounds great Patti, are you having the boys over for a delicious dinner??

My 2 youngest are sitting in the garden having a 'chocolate picnic' and will probably be shortly very hyper-active due do the disgusting amount of sugar hitting their bloodstream!! ..but hey, it's only for one day.

Well now, today's the day Terry and I are giving up smoking (yes, I am ashamed to admit my weakness)

....bracing myself for severe dark mood swings

Being as the kids are off school for another week I hope my patience will hold

We both gave up a couple of years ago, but it slowly crept back in......BUT!!...we are super determined this time.

It's gotta be done and somehow it seems daft that I spend so much time being careful what we eat and yet smoke lol!

I mean, here's me not eating gluten, dairy, or any trans fats, hanging out in health food shops and gym classes and yet smoking ..the two just don't tally!!

Sooo, we are both 'patched up' and no turning back ..I'm scared

I've bought myself a stack of crosswords and puzzles to keep me busy, plus loads to do in the garden planting seeds in the greenhouse.

Poor Terry has a list as long as your arm of DIY things to do around the house

TODAY I am a non smoker

[Mtndog]

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's my dark secret too

[jerseyangel]

HAPPY EASTER SILLIES!!!!!

..Sounds great Patti, are you having the boys over for a delicious dinner??

My 2 youngest are sitting in the garden having a 'chocolate picnic' and will probably be shortly very hyper-active due do the disgusting amount of sugar hitting their bloodstream!! ..but hey, it's only for one day.

Well now, today's the day Terry and I are giving up smoking (yes, I am ashamed to admit my weakness)

....bracing myself for severe dark mood swings

Being as the kids are off school for another week I hope my patience will hold

We both gave up a couple of years ago, but it slowly crept back in......BUT!!...we are super determined this time.

It's gotta be done and somehow it seems daft that I spend so much time being careful what we eat and yet smoke lol!

I mean, here's me not eating gluten, dairy, or any trans fats, hanging out in health food shops and gym classes and yet smoking ..the two just don't tally!!

Sooo, we are both 'patched up' and no turning back ..I'm scared

I've bought myself a stack of crosswords and puzzles to keep me busy, plus loads to do in the garden planting seeds in the greenhouse.

Poor Terry has a list as long as your arm of DIY things to do around the house

TODAY I am a non smoker

Congrats Nikki! I just know that you and Terry will be successful this time

I smoked for about 8 years--I quit when I was pregnant because I was so nauseous I couldn't even think about food or cigarettes! I will say that even now I still get a "pull"--no more cravings--to light up now and again!

I think because you're doing it together, and have it planned out so well, you are really gonna do it this time. And look at all the things you are going to get done around the house! Win-win

I love the idea of a chocolate picnic! I hope they had fun.

Yes--I'm making Easter dinner here--the boys and a girlfriend will be here, of course. I'm making a rib roast, mashed potatoes, gravy, carrots, string beans, salad, tomato and mottzerella salad, and rolls. I made a gluten free lemon merangue pie and ordered a regular chocolate chip cake from the bakery.

What do you have planned? I hope your weather is cooperating--ours is sunny but cold.

Have a wonderful holiday my friend, and good luck with the cigs!

[DingoGirl]

She said "scatological" :lol: :lol:

one of my favorite words and now, so applicable and appropriate, is it not? I said it to my GI on first visit - - - - had been examining poop every day WITH A FLASHLIGHT, egads.....so I said to him, "so far in my scatological studies, I have seen...." and he thought I was the funniest thing...ha ha! little does he know..............

I'm exhausted and slap happy from shopping, baking and cleaning for tomorrow! That "whale" just cracked me up--I'm sitting here all alone, laughing like an idiot

Excellent Patti. And BTW, your Easter meal sounds fabulishous!!!

Nikki - - - YOU CAN DO IT!!! but guess what, Bev, Nikki, I, too, am a secret smoker. It's those dang cloves, I keep a pack in my freezer, as some of you know. Used to be one pack a year, seriously, now I think I'm up to three packs a year. Very bad!

Well I am off to enjoy this PERFECT spring day God has given us.

HAPPY EASTER YOU NUTTY NUTS!!!!!

[nikki-uk]

Good Morning sillies!!

Yesterday's face

A gloriously sunny day here in London and day 2 of 'giving up the fags'

NOTE:In the UK ''fags'' are slang for cigarettes.

If I say ''I'm dying for a fag'' it does not mean ''I'm dying for a gay man''

Well, yesterday wasn't as bad as I thought it might.....just a background thought of 'something's missing'.

However Terry is feeling the strain slightly more me thinks ....had his head in a puzzle book for ages last night and did not speak for 4 hours!!

I know from past experience that the patches can stop you from sleeping properly so I took mine off at bedtime.

Terry didn't however - as he usually sleeps extremely deep (due to his depression meds I think) and had a fitful night full of weird dreams.

One of his dreams was he went to the pharmacy and they were selling shelves full of delicious (but ridiculously cheap) looking gluten-free pastries and cakes and buns and so he bought them all!!!!

I, too, am a secret smoker. It's those dang cloves, I keep a pack in my freezer, as some of you know. Used to be one pack a year, seriously, now I think I'm up to three packs a year. Very bad!

Wow, not ever come across Clove cigarettes but they sound terribly exotic and marvellous!!

[Mtndog]

GO NIKKI GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can do it and then I'll do it (God- I gotta do it!). It is hard and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Here's something to make you giggle in the meantime:Open Original Shared Link

[nikki-uk]

Here's something to make you giggle in the meantime:Open Original Shared Link

Ha - ha

Thanks Bev,.....and was that Bill Murray in there too??

[Mtndog]

I believe it twas!

Here's another favorite: Open Original Shared Link

[DingoGirl]

Wow, not ever come across Clove cigarettes but they sound terribly exotic and marvellous!!

Nikki! stay away from the Cloves! they are eeeeeeeeeeeee-villlllle!!! I am quite sure you've encountered them, or at least smelled them....I picked up this habit in college from all the European soccer players I hung out with, as I was, er, practicing my language skills (that actually is the truth!).....well anywho these evil cigarettes are said to cause bleeding lungs and contain even more nicotine than regulars they are vile.....I usually smoke half....used to be one a month.....they give me quite a nice little buzz...... I need help.....

you guys won't beee-LIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE what I just did at the car wash......I will tell you later, IF he ever calls me..... oh dear gaaaaaaaaaaawd!!!!!!!!!

Bev - I LOVE that hot tub bit! always makes me laugh....

[nikki-uk]

Day 3 and all is well

....I usually smoke half....used to be one a month.....they give me quite a nice little buzz...... I need help.....

OH DEAR LORD!! - you are teasing me now!! ...why, the more EVIL - the better the buzz I've always found!! (more's the pity)

you guys won't beee-LIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE what I just did at the car wash......I will tell you later, IF he ever calls me..... oh dear gaaaaaaaaaaawd!!!!!!!!!

More teasing Susan???...I'm intrigued ...

(BTW....loving the new avatar )

[Mtndog]

Susie- I LOVE your new avatar and you MUST tell us about your car wash adventure.

You guys have to check this out. It's very foul but funny. It's called Photoshop Phridays and here's a good one:

Open Original Shared Link

[nikki-uk]

You guys have to check this out. It's very foul but funny. It's called Photoshop Phridays and here's a good one:

Open Original Shared Link

YUCK!!!!!! but funny

[DingoGirl]

OMG - - "pig scabs" - - (page 2)

and there's Nikki's hybrid pig bat - - - Um, do tell us where you came up with that? Oh my gosh......reminds me of the time in Monterey - - - I had a guy over there doing some work, and he had a tiny, baby pig, about the size of the one in your photo, it was his pet......probably weighed about 7 or 8 pounds - - - well, the dogs were absolutely out of their dingo minds over said piglet - - chased and sniffed the poor thing all over the place - - I will have to find the photos and scan and put them up here - - -

the car wash incident - - - There was a very attractive man - - working on some construction there (he was a contractor or something like that, with a brand new Ford F series truck - - very bad-ass).....kept smiling at me, rather shyly - - - so I handed my phone number to a guy that worked there to give to the cute guy - - - and then sped off - - - terrified - - - and later I wondered if a) my handwriting was legible (quite often it is most assuredly not), and 2) if he gave my number to the correct person......

....well anywho, I"m too much of a chicken, if he DOES call, I won't even answer the phone

[nikki-uk]

OMG - - "pig scabs" - - (page 2)

and there's Nikki's hybrid pig bat - - - Um, do tell us where you came up with that?

Well...*snort* - - I fear the lack of toxic chemicals coursing through my brain has rendered me with a very childish sense of humour

We (2 boys + me) were having a mini picnic in the garden with lots of left over sticky sweets and choccy from Easter and we invited the farm animal toys...(what!!..you don't do that?? )..BUT!! the halloween toys were mixed up with them.....thus my 12yr old invented the piggy bat

I don't know why, but it REALLY tickled me (...I am quite mad... : )

I LOVE PIGS!!

My first dog was a white Staffordshire Bull Terrier ..and he always reminded me of a pig, snorting and snuffling with wee stumpy legs (RIP Ollie)

the car wash incident - - - There was a very attractive man - - working on some construction there (he was a contractor or something like that, with a brand new Ford F series truck - - very bad-ass).....kept smiling at me, rather shyly - - - so I handed my phone number to a guy that worked there to give to the cute guy - - - and then sped off - - - terrified - - - and later I wondered if a) my handwriting was legible (quite often it is most assuredly not), and 2) if he gave my number to the correct person......

Well now Susan, sounds to me as if you got some bad-ass attitude yourself there girly - you -go - girl!!!!!

Such impulsiveness indeed!!!

YOU BETTER BE ANSWERING YOUR PHONE!!!!