The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Ridgewalker]

I just took my BP with my cuff --and it was 121/83!!!!!

Now, I know that was in the comfort of my own home, but still!!!!! It's down considerably from a week ago--when I began the diuretic and the Edna

WOOOHOOO!!! Fantastic, Patti!!!

Bev, ugh sorry about the heinosity with your PICC line.

[Ridgewalker]

Unnnghhh.... so... tired...

Up all night with Luke, who is feeling like major crap. Either a sudden bout of allergies, or a nasty virus on top of everything. All night. No sleep. I hate that.

Gawd, I'm the first one here this morning.

Totally stressing about how much school the kids miss. I always feel guilty when I keep them home! Like I'm a bad mom. How stupid is that? It's all the fault of the principle at Luke's school last year (different school this year.)

That guy last year was such a jerk, and he gave me HELL about Lucas missing school. That was before we realized he had Celiac. That guy pretty much came right out and accused me of keeping Luke home when he wasn't sick, and not really caring if I got my kid to school or not.

He used to send me threatening letters, and call me into his office... the coup de grace came when we moved in the middle of the school year and he tried to kick Luke out of his school. I fought that tooth and freaking nail, because I did not want my child to switch schools in the middle of kindergarten. He implied that Luke would miss more school if he stayed, because I wouldn't want to make the drive. I accused him of trying to protect his numbers and statistics... yada, yada.... I won.

Incidentally, the day I actually got into a yelling match with that principle was the first time my blood pressure got high. I know how high it was, because I had a Dr appt later that day for.... you guessed it-- a sinus infection.

Missing school is never good, but now I stress twice as much as I normally would. I can't help it, it's automatic.

Anyhoo..... I'm tired and rambling!

[blueeyedmanda]

Morning Sillies,

So on the way to work my straps broke on my favorite strappy sandals....now I am here with a broken shoe....thankfully John is coming in later and he is bringing my other pair....I might start keeping a spare set of strappy sandals under my desk for this types of problems..... I loved these shoes so much though!

At least it is Friday and I only work till 12 which means I can jump into the vortex all afternoon whilest I clean up my house which is more than overdue. Its not much the house as it is the closet....I need to get my pantry in order. So much junk in there. I want to be able to grab food when I need it and this will give me a good idea of food we need.....since right now the past month my bank account has fallen into the red twice so we are on a very tight budget....

any suggestions for that?

[jerseyangel]

Ahhh! For all of us Edna-entrenched gals, a terrific video by my fave current musician, Mika...This is for us all!

Open Original Shared Link

That was really good! Mika is rather a patootie himself, isn't he..

Unnnghhh.... so... tired...

Up all night with Luke, who is feeling like major crap. Either a sudden bout of allergies, or a nasty virus on top of everything. All night. No sleep. I hate that.

Gawd, I'm the first one here this morning.

Totally stressing about how much school the kids miss. I always feel guilty when I keep them home! Like I'm a bad mom. How stupid is that? It's all the fault of the principle at Luke's school last year (different school this year.)

That guy last year was such a jerk, and he gave me HELL about Lucas missing school. That was before we realized he had Celiac. That guy pretty much came right out and accused me of keeping Luke home when he wasn't sick, and not really caring if I got my kid to school or not.

He used to send me threatening letters, and call me into his office... the coup de grace came when we moved in the middle of the school year and he tried to kick Luke out of his school. I fought that tooth and freaking nail, because I did not want my child to switch schools in the middle of kindergarten. He implied that Luke would miss more school if he stayed, because I wouldn't want to make the drive. I accused him of trying to protect his numbers and statistics... yada, yada.... I won.

Incidentally, the day I actually got into a yelling match with that principle was the first time my blood pressure got high. I know how high it was, because I had a Dr appt later that day for.... you guessed it-- a sinus infection.

Missing school is never good, but now I stress twice as much as I normally would. I can't help it, it's automatic.

Anyhoo..... I'm tired and rambling!

Aw Sarah, you just can not catch a break! Poor Luke, he sounds miserable

That principal is a jerk All that crap he put you through just because you were taking care of your little guy--yeah, sounds like he was much more interested in his "numbers" than the child.

Keep on doing what you think is best--no one knows your kid like you do, and unfortunately we all know that there are many people who do not 'get' chronic illness. I understand your frustration, though, and it's got to be a million times worse on no sleep.

Hope the both of you can get some rest today

[jerseyangel]

any suggestions for that?

Maybe kill two birds with one stone and instead of buying another pair of sandals--take those to get repaired. Since you love them and they're your favorite, why not see if they can be fixed.

It's amazing what those guys can do and they're very inexpensive.

[elye]

Morning, all!

Sarah, I'm really sorry about Luke....and you. I've had problems with a principal before - -it is the worst kind of stress. I do hope you can both sleep today. Everything else can be put on hold.

Amanda! It's a darn good thing you didn't cast a vote for the dangling chin-feet - - John would have to be coming in twice as often to replace twice the number of broken sandal straps!

Forgot to mention that I posed The Ripper's bum vs. chin-feet query to DH the other day. Do you know, I've realized that one can learn SO MUCH about another's personality and thought processes if this type of question is posed. He stared at me for a long moment. Then immediately the wheels were turning and he stated, "Chin-feet would be an added tool in soccer - - those dreaded balls that approach you at face level could be kicked. A forehead-bum would impede a proper header".

Isn't that a wonderful, logical summing-up? No wonder I married him....

[nikki-uk]

Part one

********

Afternoon chaps!!!

HOOTS MAN!!! I've booked a 4 day break to Bonnie Scotland for June ...t'was purely on impulse AND the kids are supposed to be at school

Jess!! I need to borrow your av!!!

Nikki! I've been meaning to say you look fantabulous in your avatar!! You don't need a slimming diet, er Edna

What is your slimming Edna btw??

Julie!!!! (sweertheart)....poor deluded Julie....you know when you have to shrink your pic to fit for the av...I always squish in from the sides darling

My Edna is 'slimming World' (not established in the US)

It basically has Red and Green days

Red - unlimited lean meat , limited carbs

Green - Unlimited carbs, limited meat

Alternate your red + green days

I also incorporate the mother of all Edna's into this (gluten-free)

Why there's Tom!!!!! Egads Tom!!! Have you been at the DMV all this time???

Yes!!

And what does DMV stand for???

Disconcerting meandering vortex perhaps???

Yes he can "reactivate" me but I have chosen no to cuz I'm scared. You wouldn't believe what I had to do to get activated

Bev REactivated???? ...........scary

...BUT..poor Bevvy ...heinousity of the picc kind

{{{{hugs}}}}}

".....I'm hoping he'll slip it in unnoticed,"

Gaaawd!!....ain't we all

*I* had to quote it too!! ...as it was so good

Nice one Phataumn!!!!...you may be down but you made me laugh fella!!!!

Part deux to follow...gotta pick up son of silly.....

[Ridgewalker]

That principal is a jerk All that crap he put you through just because you were taking care of your little guy--yeah, sounds like he was much more interested in his "numbers" than the child.

Sarah, I'm really sorry about Luke....and you. I've had problems with a principal before - -it is the worst kind of stress. I do hope you can both sleep today. Everything else can be put on hold.

Thanks, guys! Thank goodness the principle at his current school much better. When I went in to speak to her before the school year started, she immediately knew and understood what I was talking about-- her cousin is Celiac.

I'm not crazy about his lead teacher... Every time I try to have a conversation with her, she has this utterly blank look on her face, like I'm not speaking English. Brian says I'm nitpicky, but I can't help it. It drives me nuts! I just want to say to her, "Hellllllooooooo in there! Anyone home???"

I like his assistant teacher a lot though, so I try to just talk to her.

Anyway... Luke and I are definitely taking naps today!

[Jestgar]

Sympathies to all y'all with kids, it sounds like such a tough gig.

It is nice to know, though, that there are people like you (Janet, Patti, Nikki, Emily, Carla, Sarah, Amanda, did I leave anyone out?) that are willing to fight the morons and the stupid rules to keep your kids safe and happy and thereby make the future better for all of us.

I'm much more comfortable just knowing that years from now, a future world leader will begin peace conferences by saying something like "Would you rather be trapped in a small room with a gluten farter, a casein farter, or a plate of bad broccoli?"

[nikki-uk]

Part deux.....

I just took my BP with my cuff --and it was 121/83!!!!!

Now, I know that was in the comfort of my own home, but still!!!!! It's down considerably from a week ago--when I began the diuretic and the Edna

Now this is good news!!!

ARGGHHH!!!!..Amanda's only got one shoe (Is that a song title? .. 'cos if it ain't it should be )

Susie's cider tastes like ARSE??? Ewww - hate when that happens ....arse flavoUred cider

NEEARRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luke's principal is an pompous pratt !!( ).......and to him I say ''BOLLOCKS!!!!!!!!''

Phinally,

I reckon the stench of the bad broccoli would dissapate more quickly

[elye]

HOOTS MAN!!! I've booked a 4 day break to Bonnie Scotland for June ...t'was purely on impulse AND the kids are supposed to be at school

Ahhh! Wanna go, too!! Ottawa now has a direct flight to Edinburgh....wanna go......

My Edna is 'slimming World' (not established in the US)

It basically has Red and Green days

Red - unlimited lean meat , limited carbs

Green - Unlimited carbs, limited meat

Alternate your red + green days

It's the Christmas Edna.....

I'm much more comfortable just knowing that years from now, a future world leader will begin peace conferences by saying something like "Would you rather be trapped in a small room with a gluten farter, a casein farter, or a plate of bad broccoli?"

And, "Would you rather be stuck in there sporting metal cleats or suction cups?"

[Mtndog]

I just took my BP with my cuff --and it was 121/83!!!!!

Now, I know that was in the comfort of my own home, but still!!!!! It's down considerably from a week ago--when I began the diuretic and the Edna

Go Patti GO!!!!!!!!!! Indeed the low sodium, no legume, no gluten, no nothing Edna is WORKING :D

Aw Sarah, you just can not catch a break! Poor Luke, he sounds miserable

That principal is a jerk All that crap he put you through just because you were taking care of your little guy--yeah, sounds like he was much more interested in his "numbers" than the child.

Oh Sarah- you need a BIG break!!!!!!!! Hope you guys feel better soon.

That principal is, as Patti says, a JERK!!!!!!!!!!!! GAWD I hate administration (and fellow teachers for that matter) with God complexes. Get a LIFE!!!!!!!

Forgot to mention that I posed The Ripper's bum......

You did WHAAAAAT?????????? New avatar material??????

Anyway... Luke and I are definitely taking naps today!

Good! Night night!!!!!!!!

[Jestgar]

It's the Christmas Edna.....

Ahhhh, that's the problem. I always thought the Christmas Edna was to stuff as much fudge into your mouth as you could hold.

_{i like mine better}

[elye]

Ahhhh, that's the problem. I always thought the Christmas Edna was to stuff as much fudge into your mouth as you could hold.

That's the one! Only, it has to be either green or red fudge....

[DingoGirl]

MORNING sillies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I am pleased to report taht there is NO GLUTEN in the Arse Cider!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All is well and intact this morn.

I just took my BP with my cuff --and it was 121/83!!!!!

YAY Patti on the bp!!!!!!! Glad the dreaded Edna is helping!!!!!!!!!

Open Original Shared Link

there is no sound on me monitor todya. Has to do with the entire demolition and reconfiguring of my den/computer area.......I hooked it all back up again - without Kissey - and now, no sound. I simply can't be bothered to figure it out and will await my hero.........

and KISSEY"S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <mygawd - we are sickening>

And what does DMV stand for???

Disconcerting meandering vortex perhaps???

It would seem.........but no, 'tis the Department of Motor Vehicles, a distinct level of hell like no other. Alas, they DO take appointments now, cutting one's waiting time down from, say, four hours to perhaps two, if one's lucky.

I'm much more comfortable just knowing that years from now, a future world leader will begin peace conferences by saying something like "Would you rather be trapped in a small room with a gluten farter, a casein farter, or a plate of bad broccoli?"

SARAH - -what a HEINOUS pratt (love that word) of a principal. Hmmmmm.....come to school in California, no one has time to deal w/ truant children - nor has the time to care......very sad situation here. But bugger him, he is an EEJIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope you guys can get some rest today.......

SILLIES - - OMG - I think I am going to see Iron Man tonight. It's actually been on my calendar for months now.......per Kissey. He and Mini K are out of their stinkin' minds over this movie......and I may be going.........help me............will need some sort of out-of-body substance enhancement to endure.....Bev - what were those garden plants that people can't get any more?

[blueeyedmanda]

Afternoon Sillies...seems to be a quiet afternoon here...sheesh! I am home now but will be running out soon to do errands. I did get a lot of housework done in the 2 hrs that I was here

My officemates and I are going to dinner tonight and for some drinks. Doesn't that sound fun?

Tomorrow we have a wedding to attend and then it will be off to Atlantic City....John's idea at 10 this morning.....

[jerseyangel]

Hi Emily!

Where is everybody?

[elye]

Patti! Thank gawd you're there....I was in my lonely and scared place....

It's a virtual wasteland......

...And I haven't a single interesting thing to say.....

...No jokes, no Ripper questions......

Perhaps everyone has social engagements of various kinds this evening.....

Bah! So quiet....I'm even looking out for newbies to reel in...

[Jestgar]

Bah! So quiet....I'm even looking out for newbies to reel in...

I think we've probably dissuaded 1) anyone with scatological aversions, 2) anyone that thinks authority should be respected, and 3) anyone named Edna.

[Darn210]

I think we've probably dissuaded 1) anyone with scatological aversions, 2) anyone that thinks authority should be respected, and 3) anyone named Edna.

Tis quiet . . . . . . and I ain't got nuttin' either.

Hubby is gone fishin' . . . been gone since Wednesday and won't get back til Monday night. That's what I get for going to Hilton Head with the girls. I've been left alone . . . . . . with the children!!!! Have started drinking so it's not so bad now.

[elye]

I've been left alone . . . . . . with the children!!!! Have started drinking so it's not so bad now.

Excellent, Janet! Alcohol brings out the very best in my children (when I'm drinking it, of course)...

Absinthe does, indeed, maketh the heart grow fonder...

[Mtndog]

Excellent, Janet! Alcohol brings out the very best in my children (when I'm drinking it, of course)...

Absinthe does, indeed, maketh the heart grow fonder...

I'm here but I ain't got nuttin funny.......I want a BIG FAT REESE"S PEANUT BUTTER CUP SUNDAE!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhh.......... Edna? Where are you?

I bet we could Open Original Shared Link

or we could join Sean Connery, Tom Cruise and Adam Sandler for Open Original Shared Link

[Ridgewalker]

I've been left alone . . . . . . with the children!!!! Have started drinking so it's not so bad now.

:lol:

Excellent, Janet! Alcohol brings out the very best in my children (when I'm drinking it, of course)...

Absinthe does, indeed, maketh the heart grow fonder...

:lol: :lol:

Speaking of drinking... Going to a party at my best friend's house tomorrow night! TWO parties in one month, holy crap. Last month was for her b-day, this time it's my turn. (The party's a little early, my b-day's later this week.) I think we're going to run over to her neighbor's house too, who's having a Cinco De Mayo party, live music, etc... I can't wait!

My 30th birthday party... Kids will be at my mom's.... Yeah, I plan on getting tipsy. Oh hell, who am I kidding? Tipsy? Please. Let's see, which word would be most appropriate for an unprecedentedly silly thread on a public forum?

- hammered

- schnookered

- smashed

- blitzed

- sh!t faced

- pissed (for our British friends)

- plastered

- lit

- three sheets to the wind

- tanked

- torched

- sloshed

- chemically inconvenienced

Feel free to jump in with any that I've forgotten!

[elye]

Morning, all!

Jess! You're joining us early! You're not in the lab....

Bev, I couldn't see your posted videos...apparently they can only be streamed in the US. Probably sumfin' about Free trade, or Nafta.....

Big night tonight, Sarah! My thirtieth birthday was spent doing some steady drinking, dancing, probably singing....it was a good one. I hope you have a TERRIFIC time, away from your kids and with your buddies. Please ask them all about eating poop in exchange for eternal health.

[Jestgar]

I bet we could Open Original Shared Link

hmm, good for all of our weight issues, but maybe not so hot for Patti's liver enzymes. Should be great for lowering blood sugar though, and it's very probably gluten-free. If not, we can just learn to make our own, like we have to do with everything else.

My 30th birthday party... Kids will be at my mom's.... Yeah, I plan on getting tipsy. Oh hell, who am I kidding? Tipsy? Please. Let's see, which word would be most appropriate for an unprecedentedly silly thread on a public forum?

- hammered

- schnookered

- smashed

- blitzed

- sh!t faced

- pissed (for our British friends)

- plastered

- lit

- three sheets to the wind

- tanked

- torched

- sloshed

- chemically inconvenienced

Feel free to jump in with any that I've forgotten!

disaccommodated

Brief insight into my nerdly friends.

One of my commute buddies is a computer hardware engineer who started using a razor (scooter thingie) on his commute. The other day he was telling us that he was losing balance down a hill and the phrase that actually popped into his head was "I don't think I can maintain vertical alignment"