The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[DingoGirl]

Well....now I have a backed up kitchen sink......does that count?

:lol: why, it most certainly does! See, we TOLD you!!!!!!!!!

Well, I did. It is a small lot, four spaces in all, perpendicular to the front wall. Five lines to paint using a roller on a long handle. The whole exercise, including watching it dry, took less than two hours.

watching it dry = phunny

It is a step in the right direction, and certainly less fuss than an overflowing toilet.

indeed.....

Emily - NO!!!! 'Tis NOT a good thing Susie has chips!!!!!!!!! it's totally heinous, and I'm gonna pay for it tomorrow, I'm pretty sure. Egregious craving took over and.........I am not pleased.

[curlyfries]

Susie, love your new av! But just wait until I get mine up.....THEN we'll see who really is the cutest ( unfortunately, I have to wait til my DD can show me how---I'm not too computer literate

[Jestgar]

Susie, at least you escaped the nuggets...

[DingoGirl]

Susie, love your new av! But just wait until I get mine up.....THEN we'll see who really is the cutest

Well Lisa, let the cute-off begin!!!!!!!!!! My Lemon Squeezee is....is.....incomprehensibly adorable....that pose in my av? She does it nearly every morning, when she's just come in from going potty......plops down on the carpet in front of me, rolls onto her back, and does the wiggly self-spa treatment. The cuteness of it can stop one dead in one's tracks - positively no one is immune to is - and 'tis only so I"ll stop and scratch her belly.

Susie, at least you escaped the nuggets...

I know but..........are not chips even MORE egregious and injurious?

OMG - I am trying to barbecue and don't know what in hell I'm doing. Do I leave the lid up, or down? which side does the meat go - fat up or down ('tis that most California cut known as tri-tip)....and - when do I flip it over? how long does it stay on? how do you know when it's done???????? :lol:

It's for the mens, really......I have no business doing this.

Also I have just cut the back of my own hair. Another thing I have no business doing.

I WANT NUGGETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(must consult calendar as cravings are particularly astute today)

[tom]

<Homer Simpson droolvoice> (uh-oh . ... ...how do I spell that sound? What do you even CALL that sound? w/ almost a quasi-gargle to it ... ..hmmm never mind)

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm tri-tip!!!!!!

OMG - I am trying to barbecue and don't know what in hell I'm doing. Do I leave the lid up, or down? which side does the meat go - fat up or down ('tis that most California cut known as tri-tip)....and - when do I flip it over? how long does it stay on? how do you know when it's done???????? :lol:

It's for the mens, really......I have no business doing this.

Too too funny!!

I'm sitting here in the reply page, re-reading & giggling

I hope you googled asapap [asap after posting]

How'd it turn out?

It's ALWAYS soooooooooooo good every time I've had it.

I remember being entirely flabbergasted at 1st tri-tip w/ the thought "how can I have not even HEARD of this????"

Also I have just cut the back of my own hair. Another thing I have no business doing.

Let's see what else belongs on that list.

Non-1040A tax return preparation? (This can even involve spreadsheets)

[tom]

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HeeeeeeeLarryUs use of [sup & sub]!!!!!

[Ridgewalker]

<Homer Simpson droolvoice> (uh-oh . ... ...how do I spell that sound? What do you even CALL that sound? w/ almost a quasi-gargle to it ... ..hmmm never mind)

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm tri-tip!!!!!!

Don't worry, Tom. ANYtime you make a comment like that, I always imagine it in a Homer Simpson voice!

[blueeyedmanda]

Morning Sillies! Well just one of those nights last night. I am still pooped today. John has a tooth infection and cannot have the tooth pulled until June 2nd.... so he is in pain and very very unhappy. Jen is pretty much blind and cannot see anything so she is not doing well. Landen is his happy old self which was good.

Its just one thing after another I tell you.

[elye]

Morning, Amanda et al!

Glorious morning, here...bright sun, dew sparkling on our lawn, the second round of tulips bursting forth....

And now TWO dogs staring at me to go walkies....

I am going for a run with them both today on the trails, so we'll see how things go. Elsie had one accident sometime last night - - peed right by Gus's bed (significant?), so I'll keep an eye on her. May have to monitor/ration her water somewhat at first.....

Well....now I have a backed up kitchen sink......does that count?

YYYYYYYEEESSSSSS!!

Lisa's in!

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Janet! That is an incredible font rendering....you may just well be a frustrated artist, and have missed your calling. Those are SO crooked banglike!!!!

Never heard of Tri-tip! Want some.....

How do you guys feel about Canadian (or peameal) Bacon? Mmmmmmmmmm......

[Darn210]

Morning Sillies!!! Beautimous day here today. I'm hoping to get some landscaping work done today . . . after a meeting and some errands.

Elsie had one accident sometime last night - - peed right by Gus's bed (significant?), so I'll keep an eye on her. May have to monitor/ration her water somewhat at first.....

Perhaps just rationing it close to bedtime . . .

Location does seem a little telling, eh?

How do you guys feel about Canadian (or peameal) Bacon? Mmmmmmmmmm......

Well Canadian Bacon sounds a LOT better than Peameal Bacon . . . we like it on pizza.

[elye]

All right, everyone, I am home early to head off to my.....drumroll, please....

YEARLY PHYSICAL.

And we all know what THAT means......

pap smear.

Why is this still a tortuous, archaic task with medieval instruments? Do you have the answer, King Oracle Peter? Do you even want to think about it?

[jerseyangel]

Good luck Emily Ugh--definately no fun though.....close your eyes and pretend you are at the ski lodge sipping wine by the fire--mind over matter

[Jestgar]

All right, everyone, I am home early to head off to my.....drumroll, please....

YEARLY PHYSICAL.

I like to chat about bizarre things. One time the doc told me all about how to clean a dog's anal glands (swear to god). That's the only part of the day I remember.

Maybe you could bring up the glue question.

Or ask about the roll of TLRs in inflammation.

[Darn210]

And we all know what THAT means......

The only good thing about this day is that it's another year before you have to do it again. . .

[Darn210]

I like to chat about bizarre things. One time the doc told me all about how to clean a dog's anal glands (swear to god). That's the only part of the day I remember.

There you go, Em . . . ask about the anal glands!!!

One time (after I had assumed the position) my doc said "Now let your knees fall naturally apart". And my response was "On this day, they don't do that!!"

[Jestgar]

Finally the truth comes out:

!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!

Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.

2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.

3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.

4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.

5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

[psawyer]

All right, everyone, I am home early to head off to my.....drumroll, please....

YEARLY PHYSICAL.

And we all know what THAT means......

pap smear.

Why is this still a tortuous, archaic task with medieval instruments? Do you have the answer, King Oracle Peter? Do you even want to think about it?

What an interesting coincidence.

I had my yearly physical yesterday morning, and the doctor and I were discussing this as we prepared for the male-specific unpleasant event: digital rectal prostate examination.

She said that she thought it (the rectal probe) was not as bad as a pap smear. I think this is one of those great questions in life that will never be properly answered. I mean, it's not like we can find a panel of subjects who have had both experiences.

Yes, you may want to monitor Elsie's water consumption in the evening. The location of the accident may or may not have any significance.

It is a beautiful sunny day here.

[Jestgar]

It is a beautiful sunny day here.

hmm, it's not raining at the moment here in Seattle....

[blueeyedmanda]

What an interesting coincidence.

I had my yearly physical yesterday morning, and the doctor and I were discussing this as we prepared for the male-specific unpleasant event: digital rectal prostate examination.

She said that she thought it (the rectal probe) was not as bad as a pap smear. I think this is one of those great questions in life that will never be properly answered. I mean, it's not like we can find a panel of subjects who have had both experiences.

It is a beautiful sunny day here.

True true......And I know I won't volunteer for the rectal exam either

[blueeyedmanda]

Sillies...this morning we were updating the networks here....and I was without a phone and my network internet and other hospital functions for over 40 minutes.....I felt like I had been bad or something....I was being punished and couldnt have any of the "priviledges which come with my desk" LOL!

[Jestgar]

I felt like I had been bad or something....I was being punished and couldnt have any of the "priviledges which come with my desk" LOL!

:lol:

[tom]

John has a tooth infection and cannot have the tooth pulled until June 2nd.... so he is in pain and very very unhappy. Jen is pretty much blind and cannot see anything so she is not doing well.

AAAGH!!!

Amanda!! Don't wait another SECOND!! Do you have over-the-ear headphones? Earmuffs maybe?

I hope I'm not too late. You need protection, as what we have heeyah is one Speak No Evil & one See No Evil.

SOMEone's hearing is bound to be soon compromised.

(John's gotta put up w/ that for THREE weeks?? Oy that's ridiculous! )

[Darn210]

Just got done talking to my best friend K. (tis the one and same that you met, Bev). She told me that for Mother's Day, her daughter bought her a gluten-free cook book because . . . said to her by her daughter . . . "you liked all those things that Janet cooked, I thought you might want to learn how to do it, too."

[jerseyangel]

She said that she thought it (the rectal probe) was not as bad as a pap smear.

I'd rather have the pap smear.....

(John's gotta put up w/ that for THREE weeks?? Oy that's ridiculous! )

Amanda--Did they put him on antibiotics in the meantime? If they did, once they kick in, the pain should greatly diminish. Hope he feels better soon

Just got done talking to my best friend K. (tis the one and same that you met, Bev). She told me that for Mother's Day, her daughter bought her a gluten-free cook book because . . . said to her by her daughter . . . "you liked all those things that Janet cooked, I thought you might want to learn how to do it, too."

That is so cute!

Well gang--I just finished painting my stool We have a cute old one that I painted gloss black....I plan to put it on the front porch with a plant on it.

[Darn210]

John has a tooth infection and cannot have the tooth pulled until June 2nd.... so he is in pain and very very unhappy.

OK . . . True Story . . . and I am in no way recommending this . . .

My cousin had an infected tooth that needed to be pulled. The dentist put him on an antibiotic and told him to come back in ?? weeks. He went back to work (he was working as a supervisor in a diesel engine (semi-trucks) garage) and took a pair of channel locks and pulled out his own tooth. With the tooth comes a handful of puss and blood. Two employees were watching. One passed out and the other threw up.

OK . . . He's the one that I heard the story from . . . I guess he could have made the whole thing up . . . but I tend to believe him . . . It's the kind of thing he would do.