The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[Darn210]

Alex!! I'd say that the big test is upon you.. .. .you're now married... .. .

Oh Yeah!!! You'll be learnin' patience, understanding, how to mutter under your breath and to roll your eyes when your hubby's not lookin'!!

[psawyer]

But hey.....pizzles aren't round...um...are they?...haven't seen all that many, actually.... . .

Well, the basic dog-treat version is pretty close to round. I also have them curled into coils like a spring, and braided in pairs like you might do with hair. Drop by my shop and I'll show you some pizzles.

Some things have happened that are making it look like I will not be able to make the Philly Psilly Psession.

As you all know, our employee Sarah is on maternal leave, and has been since the beginning of March. In January, we hired a replacement. She was newly arrived in Toronto from Ottawa, following her boyfriend who had a new job here in Toronto. Well, he is being transferred to Calgary for an assignment of at least one year. Paid relocation expenses, etc. Of course, she is moving with him and will look for work there. With the oil industry in a boom, she won't have any trouble. Moving day is June 24. :(

Our other part-time employee is a high school student with one year left after this one. He lives with his mother (his father lives in another city). Well, his mom just bought a house north of the city and doesn't want him to commute. It would be an arduous journey via transit, and he doesn't have a car. He has only just applied for a driver's license, realizing that he will need it for the job to which he aspires. They move June 22. We found out this afternoon. :(

So, as it looks right now, it could be just the two of us in four weeks. The store is open seven days a week for a total of 63.5 hours. Add in the time to prepare to open and to do closing and balancing there is another 11 hours needed. Some of that time needs two people.

Even if we put out the "Help Wanted" notice tomorrow, the time to find and train people runs well into July.

There may be a light at the end of the tunnel. We have two customers who might fit the bill and could be brought up to speed quickly.

Send positive vibes this way. No, to heck with that! Send the yeti. He can do customer service and carry out 40 lb bags of dog food and cat litter.

[Darn210]

Send positive vibes this way. No, to heck with that! Send the yeti. He can do customer service and carry out 40 lb bags of dog food and cat litter.

Yes!! Yes!! Send the Yeti to Peter . . . where is the Yeti? . . . he never showed up to help with the mulch.

Peter, when people ask you about the Yeti, you can just tell them that you rescued him from the local animal shelter.

Good Luck with your man hunt for a new employee (or two).

[tom]

Alex!! I'd say that the big test is upon you.. .. .you're now married... .. .

:lol:

Alex!!!! No Worries, Mate!!! I can handle it!!! I was debating doing the PM thing . . . it's just those things usually end up bitin' me in the arse later down the road and then I totally regret spillin' out too much info. I'll go and PM everybody with the names and then I'll end up offending one of youse guys because someone on me list is a best buddy. . .

LMAO thru this!

While I am curious, I do believe what's most likely is that our lists correlate HIGHly.

<I kinda feel bad about even HAVING a list!! They're just trying their best, right?>

[Darn210]

LMAO thru this!

While I am curious, I do believe what's most likely is that our lists correlate HIGHly.

. . . probably . . .

[~alex~]

Oh Yeah!!! You'll be learnin' patience, understanding, how to mutter under your breath and to roll your eyes when your hubby's not lookin'!!

Yikes that sounds scary! But, yes I have entered a marathon of patience and understanding haven't I? But really (and I know this sounds gaggifying and maybe kinda of creepy but . . .) Ryan never annoys me and I don't think we've ever had a fight. I realize we're less than a month into our marriage but we have lived together for 4ish years.

It's only a certain personality types that gets under my skin. In a nutshell the "look at me/poor me/everybody feel sorry for me" type of person or the "I'm the absolute expert on everything . . . because I said so" type. But really I must resolve to try and be patient with everybody. Because how immature is it to only be able to tolerate tolerable people?

[~alex~]

<I kinda feel bad about even HAVING a list!! They're just trying their best, right?>

Yes, absolutely! My mom was the most patient person in the world I think and could deal wonderfully with the most grating of personalities. She was always reminding me that everyone has their own story and that they usually had very good reasons for acting in the maladaptive ways that they did. (Um yeah, my mom was a psychologist ). I can almost hear her reminding me that rude people are acting in such an angry way because they have so much anger/pain on the inside that it's spilling out of them.

Alright, I feel myself starting to wax philosophical which usually means it's time for bed (or under different circumstances that I've had too much to drink) so good night all.

[Darn210]

It's only a certain personality types that gets under my skin. In a nutshell the "look at me/poor me/everybody feel sorry for me" type of person or the "I'm the absolute expert on everything . . . because I said so" type.

Uh Oh . . . . . . looks like I might be on Alex's list . . .

But really I must resolve to try and be patient with everybody. Because how immature is it to only be able to tolerate tolerable people?

Don't be too hard on yourself, Alex. Some days are better than others and maturity doesn't necessarily play a role. Plus, there are times when I wish I didn't "tolerate" someone and gave them a piece of my mind. Instead, I kept it to myself and then stewed over it . . . and over it . . . and over it. I guess the maturity part comes in to help you decide which way you should play it. I've got almost 20 years on you (if I've got your age right) and I'm still messin' it up from time to time.

Alex said gaggifying -

[DingoGirl]

Okay, okay.... . .. I'm going to divulge my Singular Irritant through some precise, revealing hints. This member is:

-North American

- an adult

- has trouble with gluten

Ya got it?! Okay, anyone else have trouble with that individual?

:lol:

All right, I'll just start a thread about it - - it'll be in the Other Intolerances section - and it'll be called Band of Irritants: which posters annoy you the most?

:lol: <cracking self up>

Peter - OMG - I need a job, I"ll be there Monday.

But Peter, quelle heinosity! Hope you get some good people, soon.

<I kinda feel bad about even HAVING a list!! They're just trying their best, right?>

I always say this to David, who gets quite impatient w/ incompetence, esp with bad drivers. <I have a very high level for incompetence, as am highly incompetent myself, at most things > So - I say to him all the time, "honey, they are doing the best they know how" and I have to remind him, lots of pholks w/ only a 95 IQ are able to pass the driver's test and drive a car..........

But really I must resolve to try and be patient with everybody. Because how immature is it to only be able to tolerate tolerable people?

Alex! It seems you handle yourself well... And - I think it IS mature to leave work early if you're gonna blow at an Irritant.......and BTW, your mom sounds like she was so awesome.

Well sillies.........I am a gutter-wigged sloth....about to settle in for a night of mindless TV watching and magazine reading......and feeling guilty about it

OMG - I have nuggets......

[tom]

All right, I'll just start a thread about it - - it'll be in the Other Intolerances section - and it'll be called Band of Irritants: which posters annoy you the most?

:lol:

(Maladaptive .. ....a very fine word)

[curlyfries]

Hi all! Haven't been around lately....not feeling very silly. Money issues....and summer break hasn't even started, yet. Didn't get the job from the interview I went to. I'm going to try to do some tutoring....been tutoring at the school's after school program for 2 years and I LOVE doing it. Just hope there is a need out there.

I'd LOVE to work in a pet store!....Toronto's not too far from Indy,...is it?

I vote for #2...............wait...am I too late?

There are a couple of posters that get on my nerves also......somewhat recent additions.........whew!!!!...so glad it's not me!

Alex, your mom sounds a lot like me.....it takes a LOT to get me worked up. I actually find it difficult to get angry when I know I should be.......therefore, some people get off too easy.

I would explain to my son that his "friend" that keeps ticking him off can't help the way he is."...... he has to act tough because of the way his father puts him down." We had lots of those kind of conversations.

Pizzles, huh.......I'll have to keep my ears open for that one. Middle school kids are always coming up with words for body parts and sexual acts that they think we don't understand. A couple of years ago a student was sexually harrassing me. One of the many things he did was "meow" at me.....which refers to another word for "kitty cat"...starts with a P.

Well, today I had to calm down an angry 200+ pound boy......everything's OK, now Then I had to break up a fight.....actually, it took six boys and me screaming at them to break it up! THEN an administrator showed up just in time to help escort them to the office. I started down the hall with one boy and he followed with the other.Welll......about halfway there, his kid came after my kid and started swinging and the administrator tackled him to the floor!! I grabbed my kid and got him out of there!!!

[Green12]

Good evening sillies!

Been reading along but it's kind of like a revolving door going round and round and I just don't know where to jump in

Did I miss Nikki's b-day??? Happy Belated b-day Nikki, hope you had a good one

Susie, you have Nuggets?? I miss my chocolate, can't have any as I found out I am highly allergic to cocoa Curses!!!! I am a woman in need of a chocolate fix, what will I do, have carob instead??

[elye]

Good Morning, Posters Whom I Tolerate!

Susie, what an EXCELLENT idea....the beginning of a new thread in the Other Intolerances section. It'd be a fine test to see how sharp Scott's reaction time is. .. .and those moderators do need to be kept on their toes.

I'm sure I have seen the opposite - - threads dealing with whom one's favorite poster is, and a chance to acknowledge and thank them. But a first on c.com... .."I thought my biggest intolerances were to nightshades and yeast, but then I started reading posts written by Member X and Member Y".....

Well, the basic dog-treat version is pretty close to round. I also have them curled into coils like a spring, and braided in pairs like you might do with hair. Drop by my shop and I'll show you some pizzles.

Whoa! Spring-coiled, braided pizzles? Shakespeare would be truly confounded...what on earth would he do with this new product development? I tell you.. ..he would be struggling to fit it all into iambic pentametre...

So, Peter, I'm sure I will be in Toronto later this summer. I'm coming to your shop to check out yer pizzles...

And Peter!! You MUST do what you can to get to Psilly Philly. Business, Shmizness...

We WANT YOU THERE!

Ryan never annoys me and I don't think we've ever had a fight. I realize we're less than a month into our marriage but we have lived together for 4ish years.

Mygawd, Alex... ..how can this be? I mean, even the Kisseys have had not one, but two arguments!!

Your mom sounded like a true gem, Alex.

Julie! OMG - - NO chocolate anymore?! Gad... .. . even we diabetics have insulin reactions, allowing a small fix now and then.. .this is HEINOUS!

[Darn210]

Good Morning, Posters Whom I Tolerate!

Susie, what an EXCELLENT idea....the beginning of a new thread in the Other Intolerances section. It'd be a fine test to see how sharp Scott's reaction time is. .. .and those moderators do need to be kept on their toes.

I'm sure I have seen the opposite - - threads dealing with whom one's favorite poster is, and a chance to acknowledge and thank them. But a first on c.com... .."I thought my biggest intolerances were to nightshades and yeast, but then I started reading posts written by Member X and Member Y".....

I sooooooooooooo love the idea of that . . . makes me giggle.

[blueeyedmanda]

Some things have happened that are making it look like I will not be able to make the Philly Psilly Psession.

Peter!!! If you are a true Silly you willst find a way to join your fellow Silly members.....Find the Yeti guys quick!!!!

Hedo all other sillies...its my day off and I am enjoying it. John is at work and the house is all mine, which I think we all enjoy every once and awhile. I am cleaning up. My kitty is lounging on me, we are listening to my buddies radio show--The Mayor rules!!!! Cute face and voice!!!

I am getting ready to leave to have lunch with my good pal who worked in the lab with me, Gloria. We try to hook up every couple of weeks, but with the way things have been I have not seen her since Jan. I miss her!!!!

See ya all later!!!!

(((((HUGS))))))

[Green12]

Emily, I know! Pure torture without chocolate

Like carob is going to cut it......

Amanda, enjoy your day off

[elye]

You sound great, Amanda!

[jerseyangel]

Enjoy your day off, Amanda! Sounds delightful

Sorry 'bout your employees leaving this summer, Peter....hope the people you have in mind work out

Hi Sillies! Just got back from Chiropractor--very good visit...we bonded . I don't have to go back for a whole week!

Julie, so you don't feel lonely...I'm off chocolate--sugar, actually, for a month now. It's tough at the beginning, but your system does get used to it. Of course that dosen't mean for a minute that I don't want to raid the Tootsie Rolls. They're in a bag...in a drawer, but I know they're there

Hope everyone is having a great Friday!

[Darn210]

Of course that dosen't mean for a minute that I don't want to raid the Tootsie Rolls. They're in a bag...in a drawer, but I know they're there

Mmmmmm, tootsie rolls . . . :homersimpsondroolface: . . . one of my favoUrites. I can't have them in the house, 'cause I can't leave them alone.

Kids are done with school. Just got off the bus less than an hour ago. My daughter was crying because she's going to miss her teachers. . . I was crying, too, but for a different reason . . .

[DingoGirl]

Been reading along but it's kind of like a revolving door going round and round and I just don't know where to jump in

that was PHUNNY!!!!!!

JULIE!!!!! no chocolate?????????????? that is too sad......

you'll all be proud to know I refrained from over-nuggetting myself......... a shocker!

Mygawd, Alex... ..how can this be? I mean, even the Kisseys have had not one, but two arguments!!

I know, what IS the world coming to........but BTW, we're counting it as 1.5 arguments.....the second one wasn't really much......

and yes, Em, you MUST go see Peter's Pizzles this summer!!!!

Kids are done with school. Just got off the bus less than an hour ago. My daughter was crying because she's going to miss her teachers. . . I was crying, too, but for a different reason . . .

:lol:

OMG sillies - - going to get some bloodwork now (two year follow up to diagnosis etc.) and.....I'm goign to tell you something gross...............

<WARNING - PHECAL DISCUSSION COMING UP>

I had some white stripes in me poop the other day....which means - undigested fat - which means........malabsorption again which means........Susie is not being careful enough with the diet... because........the bowels have been less solid since I've been dating Kissey and being more reckless with eating.......

anywho, TTG will be measured, and we will know fo' shizzle...............

bye sillies!!!!!!!!!!!

[jerseyangel]

Mmmmmm, tootsie rolls . . . :homersimpsondroolface: . . . one of my favoUrites. I can't have them in the house, 'cause I can't leave them alone.

Kids are done with school. Just got off the bus less than an hour ago. My daughter was crying because she's going to miss her teachers. . . I was crying, too, but for a different reason . . .

Yep--if I eat one, I'm done for Hence hiding them away

That's so cute about your daughter missing her teacher

[jerseyangel]

For me Sillies....especially Amanda

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He

>performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an

>E-mail he sent to his sister.

>

>She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne,

>Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to

>say, she won.

>

>Hi Sue, just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week

>I had a bad day at the office I know you've been feeling down lately at

>work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you

>realize it's not so bad after all.

>

>Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a

>few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the

>bottom of the sea I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.

>

>This time of year the water is quite cool, so what we do to keep warm

>is

>this: we have a diesel-powered industrial water heater. This $20,000

>piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a

>delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a

>garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a

>darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

>

>What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose

>and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit

>with warm water It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

>

>Everything was going well, until all of a sudden, my butt started to

>itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.

>Within a few seconds, my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out

>from my back, but the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had

>happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it

>into my suit.

>

>Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't

>stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I

>scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the

>jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

>

>I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His

>instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five

>other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

>Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three

>agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes

>before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decom pression.

>

>When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass

>helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of

>laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me

>to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber The cream put the

>fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

>

>So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much

>worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now

>repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

>

>Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself:

>Is this a jellyfish bad day?

[Green12]

Patti, I love that one!!!

I'm glad I have company in this no chocolate thing, I don't even eat it that often...it's just when you are told you can't have something you want it that much more kind of thing

Janet! School's out for summer!!! Any special plans to keep them busy??

Peter I hope you remedy your employee situation

Susie, good luck with the tests. I'm hoping everything checks out ok and that it is just a co-inky-dink that you have some suspicious sightings in your stool I'm crossing my fingers for perfect absorption!!

[DingoGirl]

jellyfish shoved up yer butt

OMG - took forEVer to have blood drawn........and there was a much older woman in there talking politics with anyone within earshot, non-stop........she LOVES Obama..........worked on so-and-so's campaign and blah blah blah...........it was delaying the lab people as they smiled politely and listened, but she never stopped and........I wanted to bash her

day two of murderous headache......gads........

got nowt else......

[blueeyedmanda]

Thanks Patti!!!! I liked that one

Susie-I hate people like that.

I am really enjoying today off. Then I got an email from my boss....I was approved to attend a conference in Orlando at the end of this month!!!!! How cool is that!!!!!!! Exciting times all around!