The Funny Pages - Tickle Me Elbow - The Original

[jerseyangel]

Well, thanks to our Padt, I have just procured a chuck roast and will be cooking sumfin' up in crockpot tomorrow..........see you guys about - 6?

Ooh! Lemme know how it turns out

Oh you crocktease you

Pataughm is BACK!!!!!

AH! Hammered at Starbucks! Gettin' truly silly, we'd be......must look into this... . .

Em, if you want to PM me with where you will be staying, I can confer with Mark (Philly Oricle) and let you know what's right around there.

I had my eval on Weds and I am so shocked....

Sorry Amanda I would ask why with all the positive comments you didn't get a higher score. Grrrrr

[blueeyedmanda]

The other day when this all came out the one girl who had her eval asked why our job was paying under average compared to other hospitals and our bosses response was tough shizit.....

So while at jury duty next week I might take the oppurtunity to really weigh out my options, do I want to continue to work here, do I see myself getting further than this....plus I will have a lot of time to search the job market too.

It comes down to be what will be the best for me? Its a rough set of things to set out. For once I get a long with my coworkers and so unhappiness is not my motivation to look. It's rough....

[jerseyangel]

Friday morning Sillie--

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on

the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken

stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it is 3:00 in the morning!'

He slams the door and returns to bed.

'Who was that?' asked his wife.

'Just some drunk guy asking for a push,' he answers.

'Did you help him?' she asks.

'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!'

'Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't you remember

about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped

us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!'

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the

pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?'

'Yes,' comes back the answer.

'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband.

'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark.

'Where are you?' asks the husband..

'Over here on the swing,' replied the drunk.

[jerseyangel]

The other day when this all came out the one girl who had her eval asked why our job was paying under average compared to other hospitals and our bosses response was tough shizit.....

So while at jury duty next week I might take the oppurtunity to really weigh out my options, do I want to continue to work here, do I see myself getting further than this....plus I will have a lot of time to search the job market too.

It comes down to be what will be the best for me? Its a rough set of things to set out. For once I get a long with my coworkers and so unhappiness is not my motivation to look. It's rough....

I think a week away and really considering your options is a very good idea. You're still young--I know you have some time in there and all, but there's still plenty of time to persue other options.

[Mtndog]

Patti- :lol:

Patti, we're coming fer yer beef!!!

Bring out yer beef baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:

Oh, now them's just fightin' words :lol: What, just because my cupcakes taste like a$$? And they were not from a mix......'twere from a recipe I got on this site

Ow oh- A Siouxie/Janet smackdown! my bet's on the Q as she has the Iroquois SKULL crusher!!!!!!!!!!

Oh you crocktease you

Holy Shiite! :lol: :lol: Brilliant!!!!!!!!!

Y'all must ask Nikk-eigh about her booby poem!

[Jestgar]

Tom!! :lol: :lol:

It comes down to be what will be the best for me? Its a rough set of things to set out. For once I get a long with my coworkers and so unhappiness is not my motivation to look. It's rough....

The sad reality is, to move up in your career, you usually have to change jobs. For most people it's an (unrealized) choice between "do I want a better job?" or "do I not want the trouble of changing?". Most people suffer minor unpleasantries to avoid making a change, it's when the unpleasantries are no longer minor that we choose to act.

Brain is off. Body not functioning. May need heinous girl surgery.

sigh

[psawyer]

May need heinous girl surgery.

What kind of surgery does one do for a heinous girl?

[jerseyangel]

Brain is off. Body not functioning. May need heinous girl surgery.

sigh

Oh Jess You know I've had a couple heinous girl procedures, meself...if you ever want to talk, I'm here

[jerseyangel]

Another Friday sillie--this time courtesy of the lady at my local garden center....

Two older ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.

One leaned over and said, "Life is so boring. We never have any fun anymore. For $5.00 I'd take my clothes off right now and streak through that stupid flower show!"

"You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up a $5.00 bill.

As fast as she could, the first little old lady fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked through the front door of the flower show.

Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause. The naked lady burst out through the door surrounded by a cheering crowd.

"What happened?" asked her waiting friend.

"Why, I won first prize for Best Dried Arrangement."

[elye]

Ptaoughmhmn! I must thank you for something.. ... .and at the same time admit to something. I shamelessly stole your unforgettable zinger from yer last post.. .. .this morning I took out OUR crockpot to prepare chicken wings in this heinous humidity. I looked at it, and found myself hesitating, as it was not cleaned well after the last use, and I realized we don't have enough potatoes, and the thought of making a case for dinner at The Outback was quickly germinating.

DH walks in, sees the crockpot and plays right into my hands by saying, "Hey! Haven't seen that in a while! Excellent! A moist, crockpotted hunk of meat for supper!"

I turned slowly and murmured, "Sorry, big boy - - changed my mind... ...SUCH a crocktease I am"....

Ah! It was perfect...... . .

I had my eval on Weds and I am so shocked....there was nothing but positive comments about me, not one negative thing.

Yesssss!!!! That's our brain, Amanda!

I think this horrid coworker of yours just might be Janet's not-friend-just-neighboUr. What are the chances of having two completely different people of equal ridiculousness?

Em, if you want to PM me with where you will be staying, I can confer with Mark (Philly Oricle) and let you know what's right around there.

Will do, Phellow Philly Psilly... ...I'll get the address and PM you......

'Over here on the swing,' replied the drunk.

BIG LAUGH HERE!!

Ow oh- A Siouxie/Janet smackdown! my bet's on the Q as she has the Iroquois SKULL crusher!!!!!!!!!!

Mine's on Susie, as well... .... .she's got those rock-hard, bullet-like cookies, muffins, etc., and has mentioned that they are projectile.....

The sad reality is, to move up in your career, you usually have to change jobs. For most people it's an (unrealized) choice between "do I want a better job?" or "do I not want the trouble of changing?". Most people suffer minor unpleasantries to avoid making a change, it's when the unpleasantries are no longer minor that we choose to act.

Same with moving to a new house.......

Brain is off. Body not functioning. May need heinous girl surgery.

Huh?! I suspect ALL goil surgery is heinous........are you okay, Jess?

[jerseyangel]

I turned slowly and murmured, "Sorry, big boy - - changed my mind... ...SUCH a crocktease I am"....

Ah! It was perfect...... . .

Poifect indeed!

I get some of my best material from here

[DingoGirl]

Mornin' sillies, it's The Q here, gorgeous spring-like day today in FresNO....... :B Sioucsie is pleased......I have a clean garage, and last night, cleaned out my fridge (which is still dis-assembled, shelf and drawers on the floor as can't figgger out how to get them back in..... ) But OMG - the sludge at the bottom of fridge - - - I had no idea............

Patti - - double :lol:

but hey - - what do I put in w/ the meat, to make it SOOOOOOOOOPER tasty? I've got baby carrots, small yukon potatoes, an onion.......what in hell else do I put in, you know, for moisture and flavoUr? <will call Janie now>

Ow oh- A Siouxie/Janet smackdown! my bet's on the Q as she has the Iroquois SKULL crusher!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, and Em beat me to it - I got them projectile muffins, too.......

Booby poem

Ptaum crock tease.......well I ain't no teaser.......there really IS going to be a crotch crockpot dinner tonight for Kissey........

Jess heinous surgery? oh dear......

Amanda - hang in there......

forgot what else............

[Green12]

HAPPY FRIDAY SILLIES!!!!!

So the Silly Summit 08 is real? I thought it was a pretend/make believe Sillyville thing

Dumb butt!!!!!!!!

Bev said "Dumb Butt"

At least in Arizona it is dry, not 63% relative humidity, which is what we are expecting.

So true Peter, Janet darn that humidity!

I AM feeling better! Four days of strict-ness.......no chocolate, no stuff that wasn't made by me, nothing questionable.....I feel calm and sane today!!!!!!!! PLUS I cleaned the garage......

AND counseled a friend of a friend for nearly an hour - the woman's mother is intensely sick, diagnosed Celiac and has lost her mind........is unsupervised during the day and eating the NON-safe stuff in the house (mom has moved in with daughter and family)... (as if a 78-year-old w/ severe dementia would NOT eat the stuff? ) So.......we spoke and emailed and this woman is putting the WHOLE FAMILY on a strict diet for two weeks...reading here and other sites I recommended...this is a miracle........

YAY SUE-SEE!!!!!!!!!!! So happy you are feeling better

And wonderful to hear how your counsel and support is going to help your friend's family

Oh you crocktease you

Ok, I read this all wrong...... :nervous laugh:

I am exactly the same way, Janet... .. I blanch and scoff each time I pick up a gluten-free cake or bread mix in the specialty aisle - - truly heinous and not gonna happen on my watch. It likely costs an eighth to make a scratch loaf....

I wish I would have taken to gluten-free baking by scratch, but I am too LAY-ZEE and it involves so many flours and powders, and maths.

I had my eval on Weds and I am so shocked....there was nothing but positive comments about me, not one negative thing. Besides the comments you get scored on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest. At our company when your overall score is 5-7.9 you are in the average category. She scored me so low, I just made a 5. If I was 2 points lower I wouldn't get a raise at all....that was very upsetting. Here I bust my butt and the woman next to me is not doing anything....and ouir boss could care less. It is nuts!

Upsetting, frustrating, and confusing indeed Amanda.

Ow oh- A Siouxie/Janet smackdown! my bet's on the Q as she has the Iroquois SKULL crusher!!!!!!!!!!

Y'all must ask Nikk-eigh about her booby poem!

Yes, it's best to stay on Susie Q's good side

LOVED yer booby poem Nikki (thanks Bev!!)

And great Friday sillie Patti

Jess, heinous girl surgery? That doesn't sound good, or fun . Well POOPY COW! If you need to vent, vent away. You are in my thoughts!

I'm off to beat down the treadmill

[jerseyangel]

Yes, and Em beat me to it - I got them projectile muffins, too.......

For some reason that cracked me up!

Pour a 1/4 cup of water over the meat, and season with salt, pepper, and whatever herbs or spices you like--maybe some garlic. Don't lift the lid while it's cooking and it'll be very moist and fall-apart tender.

So the Silly Summit 08 is real? I thought it was a pretend/make believe Sillyville thing

Oh yeah--it's gonna happen!

Have fun on the treadmill, Julie I admire your dicipline

Guess what Sillies???? I phorgot that last Monday (the 2nd) was my 3 year anniversary of being diagnosed Gawd--3 years!!!!!!!

And.....I got me hair cut this morning. All the straight parts are gone and it's all curly again. She didn't have to cut it as short as I was afraid she would, so that's a good thing.

[nikki-uk]

Much to comment on.....but if anyone wants 'the booby poem' send us yer email *giggle*

...back later.....off to gym

[blueeyedmanda]

Sillies...there is a very cute guy who works-out at the gym in our development.....Jen and I have been scoping him out for a few weeks now...let me tell you I know I love my John but this guy is nice to look at

[Mtndog]

"Sorry, big boy - - changed my mind... ...SUCH a crocktease I am"....

Emily- :lol: Our Q, on the other hand, now she knows what to do with a crock (pot that is!). Glad that our Siouxsiequeue is feeling better- it's not the same without our Q.

Hey Julie- My sister's boss is a DUMB BUTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Julie- we have to be related somehow- you clearly got the better hair!)

Guess what Sillies???? I phorgot that last Monday (the 2nd) was my 3 year anniversary of being diagnosed Gawd--3 years!!!!!!!

And.....I got me hair cut this morning. All the straight parts are gone and it's all curly again. She didn't have to cut it as short as I was afraid she would, so that's a good thing.

OMG- Patti- tis a large anniversary day (gosh- hopefully phluid phlusters only happen on big page turning posts- anniversaries should CLEARLY bring flowers!). Congratulations- 3 years! WOW! I think we came on the board right around the same time. And here we are, 3 years later, talking about crock teases! I remember you as ALWAYS responding to my desperate posts and being so kind and supportive even when you felt uggy!

My anniversary of Lyme treatment is today-one year down- uhm.....more to go? But AT LEAST I got my sense of humoUr and if I get out of line, Susie can boomerang a projectile muffin at my head!

Jess- Goil surgery? i had to have a bad girl test and that was more than enough! Hope you're OK- don't forget glitter on the big day. All joking aside......really I'm thinking of you :wub:

[Jestgar]

Jess- Goil surgery? i had to have a bad girl test and that was more than enough! Hope you're OK- don't forget glitter on the big day. All joking aside......really I'm thinking of you :wub:

I am so going to find some glitter body paint. What a great idea!

[jerseyangel]

OMG- Patti- tis a large anniversary day (gosh- hopefully phluid phlusters only happen on big page turning posts- anniversaries should CLEARLY bring flowers!). Congratulations- 3 years! WOW! I think we came on the board right around the same time. And here we are, 3 years later, talking about crock teases! I remember you as ALWAYS responding to my desperate posts and being so kind and supportive even when you felt uggy!

And who thought way back then that you'd be one year into Lyme treatment at this point? A lot has gone down here....I have to say, I second the anniversary flowers, and please, no more phluids!!!!!

[tom]

So true.......but I guess I'd rather be bored than sick!

<sigh> yeah ... I've got to look at food this way too.

Thank you, Ptaoughmhmn!! I have bookmarked this........

I use YahooYellowPages all the time. One handy feature, after finding something, is the "Change to this location" option (towards the bottom). Makes it a breeze to find the closest whatever to where you'll be later instead of hunting from original location.

And the Driving Directions part includes a "Show turn-by-turn directions" for the more directionally-impaired. (Who was it said they usually get lost in the city?)

That must have been Hank... ... .

Good guess, of course, but it was Oscar.

Aaargh Amanda, self-contradictory evals can be SO frustrating!!!

Some stems from the fact that the evaluator's own job performance eval includes keeping costs down.

P

[tom]

But OMG - the sludge at the bottom of fridge - - - I had no idea............

Gah!! Scary stuff. Reminds of the <gag> awful sight of finding liquified lettuce, which many yrs ago, happened to me far too often.

Ptaum crock tease.......well I ain't no teaser.......there really IS going to be a crotch crockpot dinner tonight for Kissey........

Hehe ya Silly - it was directed at the "see you guys around - 6?" part, not whether Kissey's gettin' any (chuck roast)

Guess what Sillies???? I phorgot that last Monday (the 2nd) was my 3 year anniversary of being diagnosed Gawd--3 years!!!!!!!

Congrats? I suppose so since dx is SOOOOOOOOO much better than non-dx.

New av for YOU!!

[elye]

Three years, Patti?! Wow... ... . I remember reading your posts all that time ago and thinking, "This seems like a person I'd want to meet someday"....really. And now it's gonna happen!!

Yes, new av of new hair, puleeze. I am decreeing that ALL new haircuts (even trims) must appear in a photo for all to see.

Nikki, I think I'd be interested in seeing your next massive, carbuncle-type blister in your av - - see if it's Guinness Book material... ...

Pour a 1/4 cup of water over the meat, and season with salt, pepper, and whatever herbs or spices you like--maybe some garlic. Don't lift the lid while it's cooking and it'll be very moist and fall-apart tender.

I also put in a teaspoon of gluten-free Bovril or Oxo powder - - adds great beefy flavour. I would love to add some wine, but of course there is never ANY extra vino around this place.....

Much to comment on.....but if anyone wants 'the booby poem' send us yer email *giggle*

...back later.....off to gym

WHAT BOOBY POEM? What in hell has passed me by? Is it in iambic pentametre? Is it, at the very least, in haiku form?

Sillies...there is a very cute guy who works-out at the gym in our development.....Jen and I have been scoping him out for a few weeks now...let me tell you I know I love my John but this guy is nice to look at

Hmmmmmm.....I'm about to decree another avatar edict... . ...

I am so going to find some glitter body paint. What a great idea!

Do it, Jess.

Good guess, of course, but it was Oscar.

But of course... ...You Jackass!!!!!

[jerseyangel]

Three years, Patti?! Wow... ... . I remember reading your posts all that time ago and thinking, "This seems like a person I'd want to meet someday"....really. And now it's gonna happen!!

Aw Em --that is so sweet

I'm a cryer in real life, so be warned--I'll probably start blubbering

[elye]

I'm a cryer in real life, so be warned--I'll probably start blubbering

Hey, Patti, that's okay - - it'll be an appropriately Silly thing to do... ....

[jerseyangel]

Hey, Patti, that's okay - - it'll be an appropriately Silly thing to do... ....

True--phluids and all...